Attn: JP

[Gideon Brown]

I understand you're in the market for a new pet companion.

I'd like to offer you: me!

That’s right, all you have to do is feed me, walk me and occasionally let me curl up at the foot of your bed! In return, I'll shower you with affectionate, slobbery kisses for the remainder of my natural life!

My qualifications include:

-being adorable;
-ability to repeatedly yell ‘hey!’ at would-be burglars;
-mostly house-trained;
-spayed and/or neutered
-ability (and frequent yearning) to lick myself in amazing places;
-can fetch newspapers and/or supermodels;
-keen interest in other pet’s butts.


Whaddya say? :smile:

[Teallaura]

I understand you're in the market for a new pet companion.

I'd like to offer you: me!

That’s right, all you have to do is feed me, walk me and occasionally let me curl up at the foot of your bed! In return, I'll shower you with affectionate, slobbery kisses for the remainder of my natural life!

My qualifications include:

-being adorable;
-ability to repeatedly yell ‘hey!’ at would-be burglars;
-mostly house-trained;
-spayed and/or neutered
-ability (and frequent yearning) to lick myself in amazing places;
-can fetch newspapers and/or supermodels;
-keen interest in other pet’s butts.


Whaddya say? :smile:


:brood: What did I tell you? No sleeping in the bedroom until you have been housebroken!

:hmph: Now, get back in that kitchen!

[jpholding]

I understand you're in the market for a new pet companion.

I'd like to offer you: me!

That’s right, all you have to do is feed me, walk me and occasionally let me curl up at the foot of your bed! In return, I'll shower you with affectionate, slobbery kisses for the remainder of my natural life!

My qualifications include:

-being adorable;
-ability to repeatedly yell ‘hey!’ at would-be burglars;
-mostly house-trained;
-spayed and/or neutered
-ability (and frequent yearning) to lick myself in amazing places;
-can fetch newspapers and/or supermodels;
-keen interest in other pet’s butts.


Whaddya say? :smile:



Sorry. Mrs H would kick you out of the house before you sniffed your own butt twice. :thumbd: And you're about 160 pounds too heavy besides, eat too much, and make goofy noises all the time with your armpit.

[JB]

:rofl:

[ApologiaPhoenix]

But JPH, you'd have justification then to hit Tuck with a rolled-up newspaper

[Rayado]

If he could demonstrate his supermodel-fetching abilities I'd consider having him for a pet

[JB]

If he could demonstrate his supermodel-fetching abilities I'd consider having him for a pet

:hehe:

[ApologiaPhoenix]

If he could demonstrate his supermodel-fetching abilities I'd consider having him for a pet

See Chloe? Go and bring to master! Fetch!

[mossrose]

Men are weird.

:lolo:

[jpholding]

But JPH, you'd have justification then to hit Tuck with a rolled-up newspaper

I already HAVE that. Or at least Sheila does.

[ApologiaPhoenix]

*Still waiting on Tuck to fetch Chloe*

[jpholding]

*Still waiting on Tuck to fetch Chloe*

You do that. She can refute Zeitgeist for you. :rasberry:

[Rayado]

I already HAVE that. Or at least Sheila does.
:lmbo:

[ApologiaPhoenix]

You do that. She can refute Zeitgeist for you. :rasberry:

No doubt she could.

[AngelDragon]

Have I missed something?:twitch::dizzy:

[Rayado]

Yes, yes I think you have. :hehe:

[ApologiaPhoenix]

If it's about me, this could explain what I'm referring to: http://www.loony-archivist.com/girlfriday/main.htm

I'll just say it's a minor interest of mine.

[Teallaura]

I already HAVE that. Or at least Sheila does.

What's with the straps - does that dress have them or not? :eh:


Tuck doesn't dress that well... :no:

[ApologiaPhoenix]

What's with the straps - does that dress have them or not? :eh:


Tuck doesn't dress that well... :no:

Normally, I wouldn't have to do this, but this is Tuck we're talking about.

Teal. You know Tuck isn't the one in the dress this time. Right?

[Teallaura]

It's a grungy shirt - you ever see Tuck wear anything that nice before? :eh:

[jpholding]

What's with the straps - does that dress have them or not? :eh:


She has two -- one with, one without. :smug:

[OfficialPro]

Men are weird.

:lolo:

It's not just the men. :lmbo: :teeth:

[Teallaura]

She has two -- one with, one without. :smug:

:brood: No, our girl is not that fashion challenged! No woman would buy two identical dresses with only a difference in straps...

:no:

[jpholding]

:brood: No, our girl is not that fashion challenged! No woman would buy two identical dresses with only a difference in straps...

:no:

One was a present from someone else -- namely, Tuck! :yes: He saw the first one and bought her the second.

Now you'll admit HE is fashion-challenged, right?

[Teallaura]

Yes, much too fashion challenged to have picked out a dress that fits. :no:

I thought she only went out with him once? :eh: You mean she actually accepted a gift from a guy she wasn't going to see again? :brood: Our girl is not that kind of a loser.

[jpholding]

I thought she only went out with him once? :eh:

Nah. It was at least three times. Not her choice, she was doing it as a favor to me for Tuck's vote in various TWeb Alumni campains campaigns.

[Teallaura]

:no: I just lost a lot of respect for you both....

[Mr Minder]

What is all this?! Do we HATE Tuck??

[JB]

What is all this?! Do we HATE Tuck??





(:yes:) Shhhh, we're trying to keep that a secret.

[Mr Minder]

Oh...





















OKAY!! :smile: