dizzle
January 18th 2008, 11:50 PM
On Monday, I pointed out that abortion doesn't just affect women. It affects men too. Then I encouraged churches to care for both groups. What specifically can a church do to care for those with abortion in their past?
In my book Common Ground Without Compromise, I highlight one thing that doesn't help them: Silence. If we ignore the issue, never speak about abortion at church, never dialogue or listen, we aren't caring for these people. Obviously, they don't need mean-spirited judgment that belittles them either. They need help metabolizing their feelings about the abortion and help coming to both trust Christ's work on the cross for their sin and feel that God has forgiven them.
Offer Forgiveness and Healing
So I suggest that churches bring the subject up. Pastors should speak on abortion (and other sins) regularly. Sure, you'll have to take care to deal with the topic in a constructive way. That means preaching the forgiveness of Christ but also making clear the truth about abortion (since many who have had an abortion don't connect the dots of what they've done until much later in life). In part that means your messages should be coupled with easy community-accepted opportunities to receive the ministry of the church in prayer and counseling. I suggest not singling out abortion-experienced people for prayer, but allowing people dealing with all sorts of sins to seek prayer. This may help some be more willing to confront their significant inner pain.
Clarify the Need for Forgiveness
Although I wouldn't single out abortion-experienced people for special prayer (unless this is the common practice at your church), it is vitally important to single out the abortion issue on an intellectual level. Most people are so misinformed and confused about abortion that they don't think they've done anything wrong or offensive to God. Clearly, this is a real obstruction to moving to the step of accepting forgiveness. You need to carefully teach what the Scripture says about human beings, then show that the unborn is an example of one. (Our many pro-life resources, by Greg and Steve, can help with this; or email us for suggestions.) Without this component, forgiveness-focused ministry to abortion-experienced people in the church makes little sense. If abortion is a tragedy like a bus accident, without personal responsibility, healing the hurts of abortion will look very different than if abortion is an act of killing one's child. Getting clear on the intellectual level is not the only piece that matters, but it is essential. In other words, intellectual teaching on abortion is necessary but not sufficient.
Be Patient Comforters
One other suggestion: Don't expect hurting people to feel better. Not in 30 minutes; not in 30 days. If your church's approach to comfort is to say, "We'll pray for you," but then impatiently move on when the person doesn't feel better very quickly, you don't know what comfort is. Healthy church support means coming alongside to walk with a person and share in their burden, even as we allow them to "bear their own load." (See Gal. 6:1-5) We shouldn't abandon people in the midst of their feelings, just because their feelings take a long time to process.
Partner with the Local Pregnancy Resource Center
Your local pregnancy resource center can help you develop an effective program of teaching, prayer, and counseling for abortion-experienced people in your community. Perhaps the most effective thing your church can do is to partner with the local PRC by funding their post-abortion counseling program. PRCs usually have trained counselors on staff who have experienced abortion themselves. Let them help you. Some abortion-experienced people I've talked to say that the only thing that helped them was the post-abortion Bible study offered by the PRC.
we have permission from STR to post these articles in full
http://str.typepad.com/weblog/2008/01/what-does-it-me.html
In my book Common Ground Without Compromise, I highlight one thing that doesn't help them: Silence. If we ignore the issue, never speak about abortion at church, never dialogue or listen, we aren't caring for these people. Obviously, they don't need mean-spirited judgment that belittles them either. They need help metabolizing their feelings about the abortion and help coming to both trust Christ's work on the cross for their sin and feel that God has forgiven them.
Offer Forgiveness and Healing
So I suggest that churches bring the subject up. Pastors should speak on abortion (and other sins) regularly. Sure, you'll have to take care to deal with the topic in a constructive way. That means preaching the forgiveness of Christ but also making clear the truth about abortion (since many who have had an abortion don't connect the dots of what they've done until much later in life). In part that means your messages should be coupled with easy community-accepted opportunities to receive the ministry of the church in prayer and counseling. I suggest not singling out abortion-experienced people for prayer, but allowing people dealing with all sorts of sins to seek prayer. This may help some be more willing to confront their significant inner pain.
Clarify the Need for Forgiveness
Although I wouldn't single out abortion-experienced people for special prayer (unless this is the common practice at your church), it is vitally important to single out the abortion issue on an intellectual level. Most people are so misinformed and confused about abortion that they don't think they've done anything wrong or offensive to God. Clearly, this is a real obstruction to moving to the step of accepting forgiveness. You need to carefully teach what the Scripture says about human beings, then show that the unborn is an example of one. (Our many pro-life resources, by Greg and Steve, can help with this; or email us for suggestions.) Without this component, forgiveness-focused ministry to abortion-experienced people in the church makes little sense. If abortion is a tragedy like a bus accident, without personal responsibility, healing the hurts of abortion will look very different than if abortion is an act of killing one's child. Getting clear on the intellectual level is not the only piece that matters, but it is essential. In other words, intellectual teaching on abortion is necessary but not sufficient.
Be Patient Comforters
One other suggestion: Don't expect hurting people to feel better. Not in 30 minutes; not in 30 days. If your church's approach to comfort is to say, "We'll pray for you," but then impatiently move on when the person doesn't feel better very quickly, you don't know what comfort is. Healthy church support means coming alongside to walk with a person and share in their burden, even as we allow them to "bear their own load." (See Gal. 6:1-5) We shouldn't abandon people in the midst of their feelings, just because their feelings take a long time to process.
Partner with the Local Pregnancy Resource Center
Your local pregnancy resource center can help you develop an effective program of teaching, prayer, and counseling for abortion-experienced people in your community. Perhaps the most effective thing your church can do is to partner with the local PRC by funding their post-abortion counseling program. PRCs usually have trained counselors on staff who have experienced abortion themselves. Let them help you. Some abortion-experienced people I've talked to say that the only thing that helped them was the post-abortion Bible study offered by the PRC.
we have permission from STR to post these articles in full
http://str.typepad.com/weblog/2008/01/what-does-it-me.html