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View Full Version : Good News! Trout Isn't Dead!



Meh Gerbil
05-27-2016, 05:28 AM
I received this private message from Trout last night:

Dear Honorable Gerbil:
I am currently experiencing a crisis of faith which is why I've been avoiding TWEB.
Gary's arguments combined with Mossrose's errant behavior have caused me to
doubt nearly everything I hold dear - it is a real existential problem that I hope to
have solved soon.

How bad is it?
I'm thinking about voting for Hillary Clinton!!!
That alone is evidence that I was never really a Christian at all.

BTW, I've some dirt on Sparko, The Carrot(tm), and Jedidiah that I'd like to share
with you. I found this information useful to keep them in check. Wait until I show
you what Jedidiah does during his free time. It's lolz.

-Trout

firstfloor
05-27-2016, 05:47 AM
It is good news ... so whose funeral was it then?

Bill the Cat
05-27-2016, 05:50 AM
Admit it... he went to see The Choice (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3797868/?ref_=nv_sr_1), didn't he?

Meh Gerbil
05-27-2016, 05:51 AM
It is good news ... so whose funeral was it then?
THIS is a good question.

One Bad Pig
05-27-2016, 06:49 AM
:no: This is one of those alternate universes where "good" is "bad", isn't it?

Sparko
05-27-2016, 07:03 AM
I am a pirate, so "dirt" doesn't control me. I wallow in it.

Same with OPB, him being a pig and all.

And mossrose, gardening and all.

The only one of us not comfortable in dirt, might be Raphael.

mossrose
05-27-2016, 07:29 AM
Errant? ERrant?

Jedidiah
05-27-2016, 09:26 AM
Don't spill it, LT. I told you in confidence.

Carrikature
05-27-2016, 01:21 PM
Dirt is good for making carrots grow. :shrug:

Jedidiah
05-27-2016, 01:54 PM
Dirt is good for making carrots grow. :shrug:

Mine are not up yet. Carrots that is.

Sparko
05-28-2016, 05:56 AM
Dirt is good for making carrots grow. :shrug:I eat baby carrots.

Jedidiah
05-28-2016, 08:51 AM
I eat baby carrots.

Carrot child abuser.

Bill the Cat
05-28-2016, 03:46 PM
I eat baby carrots.

15983

Sparko
05-30-2016, 07:28 AM
Carrot child abuser.I dont abuse them. I eat them whole. sometimes with ranch dressing. :yummy:

rogue06
05-30-2016, 08:08 AM
I dont abuse them. I eat them whole. sometimes with ranch dressing. :yummy:
I'd rather have bacon. And without any dressing.

Jedidiah
05-30-2016, 08:23 AM
I'd rather have bacon. And without any dressing.

Yeah, no dressing on bacon. In cases where dressing is appropriate Roquefort all the way.

One Bad Pig
05-30-2016, 09:51 AM
I eat baby carrots.
I dice baby carrots with my incisors, and crush them with my molars.

Jedidiah
05-30-2016, 12:43 PM
Full grown carrots are more satisfying.

Sparko
05-31-2016, 08:15 AM
Full grown carrots are more satisfying.They are old and tough.

Jedidiah
05-31-2016, 09:18 AM
They are old and tough.

Not the ones I grow! Besides baby carrots are just made from larger carrots, they are not really babies. Nyah, nyah.

Sparko
05-31-2016, 09:34 AM
Not the ones I grow! Besides baby carrots are just made from larger carrots, they are not really babies. Nyah, nyah.Human babies are made from larger humans. So I have been told.

rogue06
05-31-2016, 09:56 AM
Human babies are made from larger humans. So I have been told.
I think the Stork Theory and Cabbage Patch Hypothesis ought to be given equal time in sex ed classes.

Sparko
05-31-2016, 10:05 AM
I think the Stork Theory and Cabbage Patch Hypothesis ought to be given equal time in sex ed classes.It's not currently being done? :stunned:

rogue06
05-31-2016, 10:07 AM
It's not currently being done? :stunned:
Sadly, no. They oughta teach all sides and let the kids decide what is true.

Sparko
05-31-2016, 10:37 AM
Sadly, no. They oughta teach all sides and let the kids decide what is true.And yet we teach children we landed on the moon. What is this world coming to?

rogue06
05-31-2016, 10:49 AM
And yet we teach children we landed on the moon. What is this world coming to?

16078


I hope they at least teach that the alternative explanation that the moon is made of cheese

Sparko
05-31-2016, 11:15 AM
16078


I hope they at least teach that the alternative explanation that the moon is made of cheeseno wonder the astronauts had to wear space suits. I bet that cheese was really ripe, sitting up there for 6 thousand years.

rogue06
05-31-2016, 11:16 AM
no wonder the astronauts had to wear space suits. I bet that cheese was really ripe, sitting up there for 6 thousand years.
No oxygen. Shouldn't have spoiled.

Chrawnus
05-31-2016, 11:17 AM
I hope they at least teach that the alternative explanation that the moon is made of cheese

It's not one of them moldy cheeses, is it? :uneasy:

Chrawnus
05-31-2016, 11:18 AM
No oxygen. Shouldn't have spoiled.

Oh, you're one of those who hold to the theory that space is a vacuum. :ahem:

rogue06
05-31-2016, 11:26 AM
Oh, you're one of those who hold to the theory that space is a vacuum. :ahem:
The various NSA that have been launched high enough during roguetech experiments verify the lack of oxygen. Good thing their mad ninja skillz allowed them to hold their breaths far longer than would normally be thought possible.

As for the moon being airless, the NSA member who stowed away on one of the NASA flights verified that as well

16080

Chrawnus
05-31-2016, 11:28 AM
The various NSA that have been launched high enough during roguetech experiments verify the lack of oxygen. Good thing their mad ninja skillz allowed them to hold their breaths far longer than would normally be thought possible.

They're squirrels, they aren't smart enough to realize when they've left the atmosphere and entered outer space. Besides, it's not like shooting them up in to the sky with a giant slingshot qualifies as a legitimate space program. :shrug:

rogue06
05-31-2016, 11:34 AM
They're squirrels, they aren't smart enough to realize when they've left the atmosphere and entered outer space. Besides, it's not like shooting them up in to the sky with a giant slingshot qualifies as a legitimate space program. :shrug:
Slingshots were never used as part of roguetech's space program. Well, at least not lately.

We also started giving them their own spacesuits.

16082

rogue06
05-31-2016, 11:38 AM
Slingshots were never used as part of roguetech's space program. Well, at least not lately.

We also started giving them their own spacesuits.

16082
16083

Sparko
05-31-2016, 11:40 AM
No oxygen. Shouldn't have spoiled.anaerobic. Just like the sand monsters on Mars.

rogue06
05-31-2016, 11:48 AM
anaerobic. Just like the sand monsters on Mars.
There is plenty of air on Mars. Here is Master Po's great-great grand niece up on the Red Planet just last month

16084



One of them got spotted and photographed by the Mars Rover in 2012 causing a sensation (and great shame to the NSA)

16085


Like most spectacular findings that emerge on the Internet, a photo that appears to reveal a rat or squirrel on Mars has resurfaced and is being reported this week by many mainstream media outlets. Reports are based on undated findings from the site UFO Sightings Daily which showed "evidence" that rodents could possibly exist on Mars.


Source (http://www.zdnet.com/pictures/was-a-squirrel-discovered-on-mars/)


Fortunately most have dismissed it 16086

Ckukkkit Chittilk was summarily drummed outta of the NSA despite pleas of "Oh come on guys. Who woulda expected to be photographed on Mars?" :no:

Sparko
05-31-2016, 11:54 AM
There is plenty of air on Mars. Here is Master Po's great-great grand niece up on the Red Planet just last month

16084



One of them got spotted and photographed by the Mars Rover in 2012 causing a sensation (and great shame to the NSA)

16085


Like most spectacular findings that emerge on the Internet, a photo that appears to reveal a rat or squirrel on Mars has resurfaced and is being reported this week by many mainstream media outlets. Reports are based on undated findings from the site UFO Sightings Daily which showed "evidence" that rodents could possibly exist on Mars.


Source (http://www.zdnet.com/pictures/was-a-squirrel-discovered-on-mars/)


Fortunately most have dismissed it 16086



Ckukkkit Chittilk was summarily drummed outta of the NSA despite pleas of "Oh come on guys. Who woulda expected to be photographed on Mars?" :no:
the air on mars has no oxygen. But it does have the same red dirt as Georgia. But that is because Georgia used to be part of Mars before the civil war.

Chrawnus
05-31-2016, 08:48 PM
Slingshots were never used as part of roguetech's space program. Well, at least not lately.

We also started giving them their own spacesuits.

16082

Fake.


16083

Faaaaaaaaaake!


There is plenty of air on Mars. Here is Master Po's great-great grand niece up on the Red Planet just last month

16084



One of them got spotted and photographed by the Mars Rover in 2012 causing a sensation (and great shame to the NSA)

16085


Like most spectacular findings that emerge on the Internet, a photo that appears to reveal a rat or squirrel on Mars has resurfaced and is being reported this week by many mainstream media outlets. Reports are based on undated findings from the site UFO Sightings Daily which showed "evidence" that rodents could possibly exist on Mars.


Source (http://www.zdnet.com/pictures/was-a-squirrel-discovered-on-mars/)


Fortunately most have dismissed it 16086

Ckukkkit Chittilk was summarily drummed outta of the NSA despite pleas of "Oh come on guys. Who woulda expected to be photographed on Mars?" :no:

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!! THIS IS ALL FAKE, SQUIRRELS HAVE NEVER BEEN TO SPACE, THIS IS ALL PHOTOSHOPPED!!!! :rant:

rogue06
06-01-2016, 12:06 AM
Poor Crawfish.

Next you'll say this is fake too

16098

:ahem:

Sparko
06-01-2016, 05:34 AM
You broke crawfish. You need to fix him, or replace him.

Cerebrum123
06-01-2016, 05:38 AM
You broke crawfish. You need to fix him, or replace him.

I don't think he would want to be "fixed".


:outtie:

Trout
06-01-2016, 06:00 AM
I'm not dead, just hungover real bad.

mossrose
06-01-2016, 06:35 AM
So, you wish you were dead, then.

Meh Gerbil
06-01-2016, 06:37 AM
So, you wish you were dead, then.
Mossy knows about hangovers!

mossrose
06-01-2016, 06:39 AM
Mossy knows about hangovers!

Just from that song, "Wasn't That a Party?"

Trout
06-01-2016, 06:39 AM
Mossy knows about hangovers!

Ive seen her in action around booze. Scary.

mossrose
06-01-2016, 06:40 AM
Ive seen her in action around booze. Scary.


Oh, you guys.

Meh Gerbil
06-01-2016, 06:41 AM
Ive seen her in action around booze. Scary.
You don't have to take care of your liver when you've got free health care.