NSMinistries
September 27th 2003, 10:48 PM
My Personal Battle with Understanding How Big God Really Is
As I come to the conclusion that my first realization about how faith works is flawed it has brought me to my knees in earnest prayer. Faith and being human have been opposite ends of the poles since the fall of man. Our earthly desires and wants tend to get into the way of where we should let God take control of how we live our lives. Personally, I would love to see God just take control and work His wonders through my life. As I have come to understand just because we want something, God will not take our free will away to do what He wants, and why should He. God can do all things whether we are there to do it or not.
My struggle with this problem has been an ongoing thing for several years now. I work in an environment that is not wholly conducive to the Christian faith even though I work in a Christian part of the market. My job has me taking calls for a book distribution center in the USA. Most calls are in the Christian market and I have no problems servicing these client’s needs knowing these books and other products are going out to meet the needs of serving Christ in one way or another. The problem simple put is taking the calls for the secular market when they are asking for product that goes against my God, my commitment to Christ and the teachings of the Bible. These products have no value to promoting Christ or a moral lifestyle. Now I am not saying there is not any value from books that are not wholly Christian. These are not the products I have issues with. The products I have trouble selling are the pornography books, books on why we should have sex with children, how to grow your own drugs, or occult books leading those unaware down a path they should not face.
Where do we cross the line on these kinds of products? Is it all right to sell them to adults just because they have the free will to choose to use these items? Many I have talked to seem to think it is all right to sell the items to others because they are the ones that choose to ignore Christ and the Bible by using them, so it is not my responsibility to decide what products I sell at my job. Others tell me to stand for what I believe in outside of work and leave my Christian convictions at home when it is time to go to work.
I have been in prayer over this for so long I have sometimes wondered if God doesn’t want to give me an answer so that I am forced to come to a decision about it myself. I have brought up the subject with my employer and have been run through the mill about it. No compromise could be found to satisfy the employer or myself. So far refusing to order the products and skirting around the subject I have managed to keep my job. I have been told on no certain terms if and when I get caught I will be fired. Where I work as with most places that use computers so they have the technology to capture our calls and screens for “Customer Service Issues.” These captured calls are sometimes not listened to for several weeks and are graded to let us know how we are doing. I have had the grace not to have had one of these types of situations recorded and lead to my dismissal. This has placed great pressure on me personally due to the fact I could go into work the next day and be dismissed for a call two or three weeks prior. I have noticed the depression gets heavy on my heart when I dwell on the idea that next week could be the day I have to find another way of supporting my family. Even though my family has said how proud they are for standing my ground, I still feel that it would disappoint them if I lost this job. I really do not have any other qualifications to support us and it would come as a sever blow to us. My parents support what I am doing but they know how hard it is to go forward with my convictions. The thought of disappointing anyone of these people carries a weight on my shoulders that I wish God would knock it off just because I am suffering. I know that is not the way it is and I will keep plugging along. Even if I do slip and let books by unintentionally I still am doing what I feel is right. May God Bless and give me the strength I need to carry the torch of His truth to a world full of darkness.
Article I wrote in 2002 (http://www.christianity.com/partner/Article_Display_Page/0,,PTID19179|CHID624306|CIID1453942,00.html)
As I come to the conclusion that my first realization about how faith works is flawed it has brought me to my knees in earnest prayer. Faith and being human have been opposite ends of the poles since the fall of man. Our earthly desires and wants tend to get into the way of where we should let God take control of how we live our lives. Personally, I would love to see God just take control and work His wonders through my life. As I have come to understand just because we want something, God will not take our free will away to do what He wants, and why should He. God can do all things whether we are there to do it or not.
My struggle with this problem has been an ongoing thing for several years now. I work in an environment that is not wholly conducive to the Christian faith even though I work in a Christian part of the market. My job has me taking calls for a book distribution center in the USA. Most calls are in the Christian market and I have no problems servicing these client’s needs knowing these books and other products are going out to meet the needs of serving Christ in one way or another. The problem simple put is taking the calls for the secular market when they are asking for product that goes against my God, my commitment to Christ and the teachings of the Bible. These products have no value to promoting Christ or a moral lifestyle. Now I am not saying there is not any value from books that are not wholly Christian. These are not the products I have issues with. The products I have trouble selling are the pornography books, books on why we should have sex with children, how to grow your own drugs, or occult books leading those unaware down a path they should not face.
Where do we cross the line on these kinds of products? Is it all right to sell them to adults just because they have the free will to choose to use these items? Many I have talked to seem to think it is all right to sell the items to others because they are the ones that choose to ignore Christ and the Bible by using them, so it is not my responsibility to decide what products I sell at my job. Others tell me to stand for what I believe in outside of work and leave my Christian convictions at home when it is time to go to work.
I have been in prayer over this for so long I have sometimes wondered if God doesn’t want to give me an answer so that I am forced to come to a decision about it myself. I have brought up the subject with my employer and have been run through the mill about it. No compromise could be found to satisfy the employer or myself. So far refusing to order the products and skirting around the subject I have managed to keep my job. I have been told on no certain terms if and when I get caught I will be fired. Where I work as with most places that use computers so they have the technology to capture our calls and screens for “Customer Service Issues.” These captured calls are sometimes not listened to for several weeks and are graded to let us know how we are doing. I have had the grace not to have had one of these types of situations recorded and lead to my dismissal. This has placed great pressure on me personally due to the fact I could go into work the next day and be dismissed for a call two or three weeks prior. I have noticed the depression gets heavy on my heart when I dwell on the idea that next week could be the day I have to find another way of supporting my family. Even though my family has said how proud they are for standing my ground, I still feel that it would disappoint them if I lost this job. I really do not have any other qualifications to support us and it would come as a sever blow to us. My parents support what I am doing but they know how hard it is to go forward with my convictions. The thought of disappointing anyone of these people carries a weight on my shoulders that I wish God would knock it off just because I am suffering. I know that is not the way it is and I will keep plugging along. Even if I do slip and let books by unintentionally I still am doing what I feel is right. May God Bless and give me the strength I need to carry the torch of His truth to a world full of darkness.
Article I wrote in 2002 (http://www.christianity.com/partner/Article_Display_Page/0,,PTID19179|CHID624306|CIID1453942,00.html)