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Animal Husbandry 101 Guidelines

Greetings Animal Lovers!

Welcome to Animal Husbandry 101, this is the place for all things animal.

Did you get a new pet? Tell us about it.Do you have a question about pet care? Ask it here. Are you thinking about getting a pet? Let us know.

There are a great many animal lovers at Tweb anxious to hear about and join in the fun.

In addition to the regular set of rules called the DECORUM, others rules will be enforced here as well.

1) Please keep all pets on a leash.
2) Please clean up after those pets that aren't quite paper trained.
3) Gerbils are not good pets. It's a long story

Thank you and let the games begin.
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How to wash a cat.

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  • How to wash a cat.

    1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
    2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
    3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
    4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
    5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
    6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
    7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
    8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
    9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.



    Sincerely,

    Sparko's Dog


  • #2
    Unless the cat drowns. Animal abuse!







































    I kn0w it is only a joke!
    If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

    Comment


    • #3
      Sorry folks, apparently I left my computer logged on to tweb and my dog Taz decided to take advantage. I would NEVER condone such a way to wash a cat. Never. Nope.

      The proper way to wash a cat is to use a front-loading washing machine.

      1456841-bigthumbnail.jpg

      Comment


      • #4
        First you have to get a cat.
        Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Jedidiah View Post
          First you have to get a cat.
          They usually just wander by your house every now and then.

          But this thread was meant to help out people such as Teal, who already own them. LOTS of them. At least that is what my dog told me after I chewed him out for posting the thread. He just wanted to be helpful he said.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Jedidiah View Post
            First you have to get a cat.
            I'd rather have bacon.
            The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Sparko View Post
              1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
              2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
              3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
              4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
              5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
              6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
              7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
              8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
              9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.



              Sincerely,

              Sparko's Dog
              As a minister of the Gospel, and believing in Baptism by total immersion, I hereby affirm and decree that this method is also acceptable for the Baptizing of a cat, as it is one of the very few ways in which a minister can baptize a cat and live to tell about it. The agitation of the water in the terlet will sufficiently wet all parts of the cat to satisfy, in principle, the "total immersion" requirement.

              So commode it be.
              The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                As a minister of the Gospel, and believing in Baptism by total immersion, I hereby affirm and decree that this method is also acceptable for the Baptizing of a cat, as it is one of the very few ways in which a minister can baptize a cat and live to tell about it. The agitation of the water in the terlet will sufficiently wet all parts of the cat to satisfy, in principle, the "total immersion" requirement.

                So commode it be.
                Or you could wear full body armor. Or sedate the cat first.
                If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Christianbookworm View Post
                  Or you could wear full body armor. Or sedate the cat first.
                  What fun is THAT?
                  The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My cat actually is fairly well behaved. So how to wash Cath's Cat.

                    Turn on the tub and get a pitcher.
                    Grab several bathroom towels and close you and the cat in the bathroom door behind you
                    Fill the pitcher up and use one hand to hold cat in place.
                    Pour water over cat.
                    keeping one hand on cat grab shampoo (Johnson's baby is fine)
                    Scrub cat down using both hands, keep one hand on cat place pitcher under water and rinse cat
                    refill pitcher leave one hand on cat and rinse
                    repeat until cat is rinsed.
                    Grab towels and immediately wrap cat up turn water off.
                    Dry cat.
                    Open door let him streak through the house.
                    He's never scratched me. or anyone else.
                    A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
                    George Bernard Shaw

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Catholicity View Post
                      My cat actually is fairly well behaved. So how to wash Cath's Cat.

                      Turn on the tub and get a pitcher.
                      Grab several bathroom towels and close you and the cat in the bathroom door behind you
                      Fill the pitcher up and use one hand to hold cat in place.
                      Pour water over cat.
                      keeping one hand on cat grab shampoo (Johnson's baby is fine)
                      Scrub cat down using both hands, keep one hand on cat place pitcher under water and rinse cat
                      refill pitcher leave one hand on cat and rinse
                      repeat until cat is rinsed.
                      Grab towels and immediately wrap cat up turn water off.
                      Dry cat.
                      Open door let him streak through the house.
                      He's never scratched me. or anyone else.
                      then call 911 and find towels to stop the bleeding.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Sparko View Post
                        then call 911 and find towels to stop the bleeding.
                        If he were actually mean and scratched me I would do that
                        A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
                        George Bernard Shaw

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I had a cat once many years ago. He left me and moved three miles down the road. He killed the neighbors cat, took over his female, and lived as a feral in the Alaskan interior for some years. Needless to say I did not bathe that cat. We did not even have indoor plumbing out there in the wilderness.
                          Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I never liked cats. Ever. My kids, when they were young, wanted a cat. We lived on a ranch, and I said "the only reason you need cats is if you have rats". My littlest one took me by the hand, and led me out to the barn to show where rats had nibbled through some feed bags. She had me.

                            I let them each have a cat (total two) and told them those cats had better earn their living. Not only did the rat problem disappear, but every once in a while, I'd hear a scratching at the back door, and there would be Oreo on the back porch standing over a still writhing snake, paw on its head, as if to say "see THERE?" Or Bosco would be there with a half-conscious mouse, batting it back and forth with his paws, showing me "I could kill it at any time, ya know?"
                            The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                              As a minister of the Gospel, and believing in Baptism by total immersion, I hereby affirm and decree that this method is also acceptable for the Baptizing of a cat, as it is one of the very few ways in which a minister can baptize a cat and live to tell about it. The agitation of the water in the terlet will sufficiently wet all parts of the cat to satisfy, in principle, the "total immersion" requirement.

                              So commode it be.
                              So for sprinklers like Lutherans do you think using a fire hose would be acceptable?

                              I'm always still in trouble again

                              "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                              "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
                              "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

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