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TheWall
11-03-2016, 01:53 PM
I am in a bind.

My family does not believe and as my faith grows stronger I inevitably come into contact with their unbelief. It has lead my family into screaming matches. It is horrible.

When they see I have or am reading the bible they say I believe a myth. When I say I want to read Narnia they say "Aslan is Jesus thats it." They have said I am insane.

I want to leave at some point. Get my own house. Get a job. Find a church.

I need some prayer. I need some advice.
If I stay I am like a candle to be snuffed out. If I leave my grandparents will take care of me but my family will be even more antoginistic


I want to see my family come to faith.
I am unsure of what to do.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 02:00 PM
I feel I should point something out. I plan on moving out at some point anyway. So should I try to move out later or earlier?

It is bearable at home but it is just that. Bearable.

Bill the Cat
11-03-2016, 02:21 PM
Doesn't sound like they respect you very much. It's hard living under that kind of scrutiny. Best to exit gracefully before it gets too bad, IMHO

Cow Poke
11-03-2016, 02:27 PM
Pray for Wisdom.
Seriously

And start the Proverbs Bible Reading Program! :smile:

No matter what day of the month it is -- today is the third -- read that chapter of Proverbs.

If you get out of the habit, no problem - just pick up your Bible, turn to the chapter of Proverbs corresponding to whatever the day of the month is.

I'll be praying for Wisdom for you, and I'm contemplating sharing a story that you might appreciate.

robrecht
11-03-2016, 02:35 PM
Do not sever or irreparably harm relationships with your family. Learn to smile at their attempts to help you see things the way they do. It is motivated by their love for you just as is also your desire for their conversion. In the end, your forbearance, patience, and active love for them in the million little things of daily life will have more impact on them than most anything else. As you reach out to them with love and respect, they too will learn to better respect your choices and faith. It may take a while and you may never see the fruits of your devotion to them, but I suspect you will, and God will bless you immensely with much wisdom and and grace for your patience.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 02:43 PM
Proverbs reading program? Its brilliant. It also fits well with my current reading the bible in a year goal.

I to pray for wisdom. I pray for my daily bread or rather our daily bread.

I in no way want to burn the bridge to my family. My behavior will be the best shot I have.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 02:51 PM
Thank you guys.

Hey CP you sais you had a story right? I think we should hear it

One Bad Pig
11-03-2016, 02:56 PM
I would recommend that you get a job and find someplace else to stay, if only so you can become financially independent (and if living at home is stopping you, go to church). You could still spend time with your family, especially on holidays, but it would give you a better environment.

Cow Poke
11-03-2016, 02:57 PM
OK, for what it's worth....

We had a girl in our youth group who faithfully attended Church, and was just a joy to be around.
One day she showed up with what seemed to be an unusual amount of makeup. I had a feeling she was hiding some abuse, but she insisted she fell in her bedroom and hit her bedpost.

A couple weeks later, she had a cracked lip, and bruising around her mouth. Another fall - no worries, all is well!

The next time, she was wearing dark glasses, and when I tried to talk to her, she wouldn't look at me. I knew for sure she was being abused.

My wife and I took her to another room, where she opened up - her Mom had left several years earlier, and she lived alone with her Dad. He was a drinker. She said "when he's sober, he's a good guy, and we get along great". But, apparently, when he's drinking, he comes home, and if she hadn't done the dishes exactly right, or put them away exactly right, or made the beds or put her school books just so, he would fly into a rage and scream at her, and slap her.

It was heartbreaking to hear her story, and I had already been told by an older couple in my Church "if she needs a place to stay, we'll be glad to let her live with us". (My wife and I were just a young couple then, with a newborn baby in a small apartment)

When I offered Linny the opportunity to move in with some loving "grandparent" types, she just started sobbing. What she said next was absolutely incredible.

She said, "I know my daddy loves me, and he's good to me when he's sober. He doesn't know Jesus, and he's mad at the world. I just know that some day he'll come home sober, and he'll want to talk, and if I'm not there, there won't be anybody to tell him about Jesus".

Wow - talk about a dilemma! I was concerned for her safety and well being, but her conviction to be a witness to her father was unshakeable.

I wish the story had a happy ending, but he ended up getting in a fight in a bar, got beat up really bad, and died a few weeks later from complications, including broken ribs, cirrhosis of the liver and damaged kidneys. (I don't remember all the details)

Linny, of course, was heartbroken, but she said, "I know I did everything I could possibly do to be a witness to him".

That was a very powerful testimony in my life, because I had been through some ugly teenage rebellion, and was, for a short time, incredibly disrespectful of my own good Christian parents, and caused them great grief and misery.

For months, my last thought each night before going to bed was "I deserved her dad, and she deserved my good Christian parents".

I'm not telling you what to do, brother - you know how tough it is in your home, I don't.

This story with Linny occurred over about a year, and there were times she told me her Dad wouldn't allow her to come to Church activities.

I remember telling her, "make it a game -- try to figure out what he'll want you to do, and do it before he has to ask. Make the beds, clean up the dishes, do the laundry... all the stuff you know he'll look for, and do it 'as unto the Lord'. And when he's sober, or you think you can reason with him, tell him, "Daddy, I did the dishes, the laundry, put all the (whatever....), so, would you mind if I went to the youth meeting tomorrow night?"

She told me once, "I was going down the hall to my bedroom, and I heard him talking to somebody on the phone - he was saying 'no, I think she must be into drugs or something because her whole personality is WAY different, and I can't figure it out". She laughed when she told me that.

This was all... probably... about 40 years ago. I hadn't heard from her in ages, but about 3 or 4 years ago she found me on Facebook. She's a beautiful woman with a good Christian husband, a couple of good kids, and she made me cry just telling me how much she enjoyed our youth ministry, and that God saw her through all her pain and sorrow.

rogue06
11-03-2016, 03:00 PM
I would recommend making sure that you can make it on your own financially before moving out. You don't want to find yourself in the position of having to ask to move back in.

Cow Poke
11-03-2016, 03:02 PM
Proverbs reading program? Its brilliant. It also fits well with my current reading the bible in a year goal.

I to pray for wisdom. I pray for my daily bread or rather our daily bread.

I in no way want to burn the bridge to my family. My behavior will be the best shot I have.

"Wisdom" is, as far as I can tell, the only thing the Bible commands us to "get" --- Get wisdom, get understanding... and, the promise that, if we lack wisdom, ask God, and he'll give it to us liberally.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 03:06 PM
I agree wholeheartedly on getting a job. My college schedule is designed for a job. I think I need to get serious and talk to my grandpa about that. He can help me find a job.

rogue06
11-03-2016, 04:00 PM
I agree wholeheartedly on getting a job. My college schedule is designed for a job. I think I need to get serious and talk to my grandpa about that. He can help me find a job.
A wise choice appropriate for a discussion involving wisdom :smile:

robrecht
11-03-2016, 04:07 PM
Yes, it is always good to be self-supporting. I wish more people would realize this and embrace hard work and productivity. Not everyone is in a position to do this, of course, but as soon as you can, it will afford you the opportunity to grow in wisdom and stature at an accelerated rate.

rogue06
11-03-2016, 04:17 PM
Yes, it is always good to be self-supporting. I wish more people would realize this and embrace hard work and productivity. Not everyone is in a position to do this, of course, but as soon as you can, it will afford you the opportunity to grow in wisdom and stature at an accelerated rate.
One aspect of that wrt to TW's situation is that parents just don't tend to take what their children say all that seriously while they are still living under their roof. You need to show that your a mature, responsible adult before that will ever change.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 04:17 PM
You know getting a job could help me show them hiw much I have matured.

If I can show them that level of responsibility they might take me more seriously

rogue06
11-03-2016, 04:18 PM
One aspect of that wrt to TW's situation is that parents just don't tend to take what their children say all that seriously while they are still living under their roof. You need to show that your a mature, responsible adult before that will ever change.


You know getting a job could help me show them hiw much I have matured.

If I can show them that level of responsibility they might take me more seriously

Posted at the same time . Okay, that was just a wee bit spooky. :uhoh:

TheWall
11-03-2016, 06:24 PM
Mindmeld moment.

rogue06
11-03-2016, 07:42 PM
Mindmeld moment.
Ah yes. Like that Vulcan thing Dr. Who used on Frodo in Star Wars :yes:

TheWall
11-03-2016, 08:01 PM
Thank you Rogue. I need a chuckle.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 08:46 PM
I read proverbs today. Perhaps for the first time ever. I can not be sure. Great stuff.

Thank you for the advice cp.

TheWall
11-03-2016, 08:47 PM
Thank God I have brothers and sisters in faith as great as you guys.

mossrose
11-03-2016, 08:52 PM
:hug:

Sparko
11-04-2016, 06:59 AM
have a serious sit down talk with your parents.

start out by asking them if they love you (they do)
Then tell them how you feel when they mock your faith. Tell them that if they love you they need to stop mocking your faith and trying to get you to stop believing. That you will never stop, it is part of you and you need them to give you respect if they really love you.

TheWall
11-04-2016, 07:54 AM
Sparko that is perhaps one of the best and the most risky things I have ever considered.

It aill take tome planning to pull it ofc and not have it self destruct.

Sparko
11-04-2016, 08:00 AM
Sparko that is perhaps one of the best and the most risky things I have ever considered.

It aill take tome planning to pull it ofc and not have it self destruct.well if you want them to respect you as an adult and take you seriously, at some point you will need to confront them about it, like an adult. Just be respectful and let them know how their negativity is hurting you and your relationship with them because you do love them and respect them and just want the same in return.

What's the worse that can happen? They laugh at you and mock your faith? They are already doing that.

rogue06
11-04-2016, 08:04 AM
I'm getting the impression that your parents are very liberal and would embrace you if you were gay accepting that it was part of who you are but cannot abide the fact that you're Christian.

TheWall
11-04-2016, 08:08 AM
You guys make some good points.

TheWall
11-04-2016, 08:13 AM
My mom is not a liberal but I do get your point. She has some wacky ideas about spirituality and the bible.

mossrose
11-04-2016, 09:41 AM
I'm getting the impression that your parents are very liberal and would embrace you if you were gay accepting that it was part of who you are but cannot abide the fact that you're Christian.


That's exactly what I told Mr. mossy when I shared TW's situation with him.