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View Full Version : Silence, Loaded Questions, and not knowing what to do.



TheWall
11-27-2016, 07:43 PM
I often find that when my faith comes to clash with my family I am always put on the defensive. They jump down my throat and attack me. They tease me with blasphemous songs and crude and often intellectually slips hod jokes. When I am silent they think I am unwilling or beaten by their questions. They accuse me of bad etiquette despite their ad hominid and badgering. I dare not repay them with evil. When I arguever though they think I am pulling things from thin air like a magician. Yet they spread lies and misinformation like a disease.

They know I am transformed yet refuse to see Christ as the root of the transformation. Perhaps they think I am just acting as if I am holier than thou. I pray I don't give that I pressing to anyone.

The spirit often moves me when I don't know what to do. It tells me at times to be silent and reminds me the pain and mocking will not be forever. It compelling me to learn and fight against what tempts me. It compelling me to pray for them. Oh how I pray they can one day see the light.

I wish I knew how I could show them the truth of Christianity. I wonder am I coward?

Faber
11-27-2016, 08:07 PM
Your silence probably speaks louder than words could ever speak. Living the Christian life is showing them the truth of the Gospel. Keep living it and don't give up.

TheWall
11-27-2016, 08:17 PM
You know Faber I read something similar when I read a book by Ravi Zachariah. He talked about how Jesus'said silence before pirate and the San hedging said volumes.

I must admit I often use something Jesus himself said in saying things like " you have said so" but yeah the silence says a lot. My soul cries out and sometimes I literally do cry.

Sparko
11-30-2016, 09:41 AM
Before I was a Christian (long before) there was a Christian at work. He never preached or tried to convert anyone, but he was openly Christian, would tell anyone who asked, prayed at lunchtime before eating, and behaved in a very humble, Christianlike manner.

People used to mock him, including me, not really mean mocking, but mocking nonetheless. Yet even then I felt guilty about it, and eventually stopped. Years later, his attitude still influenced me and I wanted to be like him. He made me open to becoming a Christian years later. All without saying a word, and never complaining about the mocking. I wonder where he is now? I would love to thank him.

RumTumTugger
11-30-2016, 11:12 AM
I often find that when my faith comes to clash with my family I am always put on the defensive. They jump down my throat and attack me. They tease me with blasphemous songs and crude and often intellectually slips hod jokes. When I am silent they think I am unwilling or beaten by their questions. They accuse me of bad etiquette despite their ad hominid and badgering. I dare not repay them with evil. When I arguever though they think I am pulling things from thin air like a magician. Yet they spread lies and misinformation like a disease.

They know I am transformed yet refuse to see Christ as the root of the transformation. Perhaps they think I am just acting as if I am holier than thou. I pray I don't give that I pressing to anyone.

The spirit often moves me when I don't know what to do. It tells me at times to be silent and reminds me the pain and mocking will not be forever. It compelling me to learn and fight against what tempts me. It compelling me to pray for them. Oh how I pray they can one day see the light.

I wish I knew how I could show them the truth of Christianity. I wonder am I coward?

Honey, you not responding in kind and remaining silent will have it's influence. if you keep striving to live the christian life it will show the lies to be what they are. and one day they will ask you what truely transformed you.

That you pray for your family shows your transformation.

You are not a coward infact in remaining silence to unjust accusations and remaining true to Jesus's example shows your courage.

as always you will be in my prayers

Littlejoe
11-30-2016, 12:20 PM
You've gotten some good advice so far...building on what has already been said, respect of someone, IMHBAO, has to do with what I like to call Frame. This is a principle that took me many, many years to learn...It took a lot of years just to realize that I need it, then more time to cultivate it. I certainly didn't have at your age. But, you can start now, and improve with every passing day. Frame in your life, is similar to context in a quoted Bible verse...where it comes from and what it defines and how it defines it. You certainly need to continue to not respond strongly or negatively to their taunts and digs...but learn to develop a...nonchalant-ness about it. You are impervious to their crap. Think "Luke Cage", hardly anything can even hurt him, it just bounces off, he doesn't back down...he just calmly smiles or tosses the offender aside. You develop that in your personality (not physically). Look up the concept of A&A, (agree and amplify) React to blasphemous songs and digs with a eye roll and a little laugh...then say, "do you talk to you mother with that mouth" and smile real big...and with a shrug of your shoulders. Let it roll off. Water off of a ducks back, It's like dealing with a bully, they want you upset, scared, on your heels....don't go there. I don't know you well enough to point you to the correct analogy...but it's about holding your Frame like Captain Picard facing down the Romulans, Thor facing down the Ice Giants, no fear, no yelling, just calm assurance, and a wry smile. like this:

1988919890

Calm gentle assertiveness is what you want in your frame. Don't let them upset you...then you are in their Frame. You are in control so stay in your Frame...don't let them drag you into their Frame. Whoever maintains Frame is in control of the room, the conversation, the relationship. Be the Captain of the House...I hope this makes some sense.

TheWall
12-04-2016, 05:01 PM
Huh. Wow.

Cool. They are talking about zoroaster right now. I wish she would realize how unhistorical they are being. For now I just sit back, relax, and pretend and imagine how C.S Lewis would react to them.

Littlejoe
12-04-2016, 05:14 PM
Huh. Wow.

Cool. They are talking about zoroaster right now. I wish she would realize how unhistorical they are being. For now I just sit back, relax, and pretend and imagine how C.S Lewis would react to them.
Yep! That'll work. Just like C.S. Lewis, their weird idea's don't faze you...I can imagine C.S. Lewis being right in the middle of that discussion calmly correcting their misstatements and eventually leading them around to the Gospel. :thumb:

TheWall
12-04-2016, 05:31 PM
They make me more annoyed than anything.

TheWall
12-04-2016, 05:31 PM
I say that not because they are annoying but because misinformation annoys me.

37818
12-15-2016, 02:01 PM
Your silence probably speaks louder than words could ever speak. Living the Christian life is showing them the truth of the Gospel. Keep living it and don't give up.

How does living the Christian life show the gospel (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)?

Faber
12-15-2016, 05:21 PM
It's not difficult.

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. (1 Corinthians 15:3)


Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart. (2 Corinthhians 3:3)

37818
12-16-2016, 05:32 AM
It's not difficult.

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. (1 Corinthians 15:3)


Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart. (2 Corinthhians 3:3)

None of that does. Where in doing all that is the light (Matthew 5:13-16)? What did the Apostle minister (2 Corinthians 3:3)?