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Sparko
03-21-2017, 12:26 PM
I have noticed that poor Gerbzie has been desperate to get advice lately, and has started a couple of threads on the matter. So in the tried and true tradition of tweb (stealing a thread and turning it around for your own amusment) I have decided to start this thread GIVING advice. I am great at telling people what to do, so just ask away. anything. Anything at all.

Hello? is this thing on? *tap*tap*

firstfloor
03-21-2017, 12:34 PM
I have noticed that poor Gerbzie has been desperate to get advice lately, and has started a couple of threads on the matter. So in the tried and true tradition of tweb (stealing a thread and turning it around for your own amusment) I have decided to start this thread GIVING advice. I am great at telling people what to do, so just ask away. anything. Anything at all.

Hello? is this thing on? *tap*tap*What advice would you give to someone who earnestly desires to assassinate God and what sort of ‘weapons’ would be most effective in your opinion? Thanks.

Sparko
03-21-2017, 12:37 PM
What advice would you give to someone who earnestly desires to assassinate God and what sort of ‘weapons’ would be most effective in your opinion? Thanks.

I would try a snowball. That will maximize your chances.

Reasoning:

A snowball has zero chance of getting anything done in hell, thus the saying, "A snowball's chance in hell"
Therefore, Given that the opposite of hell is heaven and God lives in heaven, it would be logical that a snowball would have the maximum effect there and give you your best chance.

Meh Gerbil
03-21-2017, 12:46 PM
What advice would you give to someone who earnestly desires to assassinate God and what sort of ‘weapons’ would be most effective in your opinion? Thanks.
Get Tassman to argue morality with him.
He'll suicide.

Sparko
03-21-2017, 12:48 PM
Get Tassman to argue morality with him.
He'll suicide.

Hey! I am supposed to be giving the advice in this thread! :glare:

But good answer. It could work.

OK, you can be my co-adviser.

Meh Gerbil
03-21-2017, 01:16 PM
OK, you can be my co-adviser.:smug:

guacamole
03-21-2017, 05:31 PM
I'm thinking of a career change from teacher to hired gun. What gun should I get first? Also, if my holster needs to match my shoes, do I get more shoes or the same colored holsters?

Thnx,
desperado

Sparko
03-22-2017, 05:52 AM
I'm thinking of a career change from teacher to hired gun. What gun should I get first? Also, if my holster needs to match my shoes, do I get more shoes or the same colored holsters?

Thnx,
desperado

I suggest a flame thrower instead of a gun. It will help to melt the snowflakes in your classrooms.

guacamole
03-22-2017, 06:53 AM
A flamethrower! Egads! I never thought of that. I'm a fire for hire. I love it.

Thanks Sparko,
Guacamole

Sparko
03-22-2017, 07:10 AM
I am pretty good at this advice thing. I should start a newspaper column like Dear Abby.

guacamole
03-23-2017, 07:59 AM
At work, during lunch, we sometimes play "other people's problems" and read advice columns on line to read...well...other people's problems, and then to laugh or cringe at the advice being given out. Do people actually write in looking for serious advice, or is this really some sort of fiction?

The slate advice column is often, unintentionally, hilarious.

fwiw,
guacamole