Redneck Haiku

[dizzle]

From Credenda Agenda : http://www.credenda.org/issues/14-4adullam.php



Redneck Haiku

Beauty

Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

Gathering

In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

[Alden]

:lol:

[Ryokan]

:xmm:

[Patroclus]

Simply marvelous!

[flipper]

Redfaced redneck cop,
Hat in dust. "Durn them Duke boys!"
Basset sympathy.

[flipper]

Irony? Women's work
Says Earl, slyly. But his pig
Is named Ned Beatty.

[Sher]

:lol:

mine:

Finding these funny
Or hitting too close to home
Might be a redneck

[dizzle]

:rofl:

[Patroclus]

Sherbear, that was too good.

Flipper, amazing as always.

[Woman]

Trailer park gourmet
Vienna sausage sandwich
On white Rainbow bread

[Woman]

His name wrote in gold
On Daddy's prized possession
Brand new bowling ball

[Woman]

Childhhood memories
Me hiding under the porch
With Ernie's coon dog

[Woman]

Last night for supper
Mama made "pasta" salad
Laugh - I thought I'd die!

[Woman]

Next Christmas I'll do
Hand crocheted toaster cozies
With hot-pink angels

[Woman]

Dale talks funny now
He went to city college
And thinks he's sooo smart

[Woman]

Grandma couldn't read
the words from 23rd Psalms
She knew them by heart

[Woman]

Tanya's new prom dress
Designer original
And it ain't store bought

[Woman]

Earl won't eat omlettes,
Scrambled eggs with potted meat
is fancy enough!

[Woman]

If I close my eyes
I can hear Daddy's mouth harp
play Rock of Ages

[Sher]

These are great!

[Patroclus]

An empty shotgun
Roadsigns with holes in winter
Brail for blind drivers

[Ric]

Sounds like my neighbors!

[Woman]

Patroclus - yours are more lyrical...I'll try to raise the bar a bit. :idea:

[Woman]

From an old hope-chest
A cedar scented gun-rack
Daddy's creation

[Patroclus]

Thanks for the compliment Woman... er... Ma'am.

Snake in the crab grass
A fractured, fallen fishbowl
Momma's pet is loose

[Woman]

Secure in her love,
mama's blessings grinned out from
four dirty faces

[Woman]

Fine, delicate taste
wrapped in sunshine's own color -
Le Velveeta cheese

[Patroclus]

Shotguns, gas and beer
Bought at once for good clean fun
Here in Arkansas

[Woman]

Northern Idaho
God's land where all men belong...
to the NRA

[Patroclus]

Congratulations!

http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?postid=36734#post36734

[Socrates]

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal
and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with
Haiku poetry messages. They're used to
communicate a timeless message, often
achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful
insight through extreme brevity. Here are
16 actual error messages from Japan:

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed. I am the
Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

[Patroclus]

Socrates, all of those are beautiful! I want that software.

[Woman]

The philosopher
Has the heart of a poet.
Socratic surprise.

:bow:



WOW - those Japanese haikus are wonderful. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes I lament the fact that Westerners are so keen on compartmentalizing everything. I just love that the East has managed, even in this tiny way, to integrate their technological genius with an ancient art form.

How about sharing some of your own pieces? :teeth:


For Socrates

Synapses flashing.
Poetry and compassion,
No goo to you this...

:wink:

[Patroclus]

Japanese Haiku
Trashing Microsoft Doo-doo
So, who writes this stuff?

[Woman]

Patroclus - I started another thread for non-redneck haiku. Is that okay?

[Patroclus]

That is great!

[Woman]

Hey Socrates,

Do you have any more of those? They really are great!

[Joe Corleone]

The dogs under my doublewide

are scratching their fleas again

the walls vibrate as soft rain falls.


The beer cans in the driveway

glow in the moonlight

sniffed by a passing armadillo.


Depressed for weeks

upon learning Rush Limbaugh

was a draft dodger back then.


Family reunion this weekend

means I get annual chance to meet

available women again.


She blamed me

for losing winning Powerball ticket

on way to Lottery headquarters.


Too many transmissions

in front yard

make wife mad and homeless rats happy.


Having an affair with wife's sister

can cause major changes

in sleeping arrangements.


Kids need dental work bad

but gun safe not full yet

and need new pickup too.


G-Dubbya looks like he

would make a show-nuff good

hunting and drinking buddy.

[Joe Corleone]

Overdraft notices must be mistake

I guess not....cancelled checks show how

wife sent entire tax refund to Benny Hinn.


The speedboat I bought with my wife's inheritance

sure is a great bimbo pickup machine

when I'm out on the lake alone.