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JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 04:39 AM
Dee Dee is working on the guidelines for this forum, so this will be redundant once that's completed. But, since the forum is new, I wanted to personally welcome you and tell you a little bit about the theme here.

Perissos Resources on TWeb is designed to serve as a "Minute Clinic," where you may ask questions and receive my response. Think of this forum as a Christian "Dear Abby." I'm a licensed Pastoral Counselor and Certified Christian Life Coach, so my responses come from this perspective.

Please remember this forum is not intended as a full-service counseling solution and should not be considered a replacement for crisis intervention, medical care, or psychological/psychiatric advice. The reader is fully responsible for their response to anything read here and is encouraged to seek appropriate local resources appropriate for their health and wellness needs.

Your comments to those posing questions should be respectful and gracious at all times, though these threads aren't intended for lengthy discussion and certainly not or debate.

So, who would like to step us with the first question? The counselor is in!

Catholicity
01-22-2014, 05:36 AM
Great Lucy is offering counseling.

Teallaura
01-22-2014, 06:00 AM
I hear voices in my head that keep telling me to send you all my money. should I ignore them or unplug the loudspeakers you set up?

Cow Poke
01-22-2014, 06:56 AM
Can I borrow a nickel?

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 07:49 AM
I hear voices in my head that keep telling me to send you all my money. should I ignore them or unplug the loudspeakers you set up?

Teallaura:

Voices in the head may be a sign of serious psychosis. Please do not ignore this symptom. I urge you to consult a psychiatric professional as quickly as possible. In the meantime, please remember that God can and does perform miracles. If you send me all your money, I'll put in a good word for you. :wink:

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 07:51 AM
Can I borrow a nickel?
This is :spam: and a blatant misuse of this forum.

:offtopic: :stop: :matrixed:

Cow Poke
01-22-2014, 07:53 AM
Teallaura:

Voices in the head may be a sign of serious psychosis. Please do not ignore this symptom. I urge you to consult a psychiatric professional as quickly as possible. In the meantime, please remember that God can and does perform miracles. If you send me all your money, I'll put in a good word for you. :wink:

Which just goes to show -- I needs hep!

Cow Poke
01-22-2014, 07:54 AM
This is :spam: and a blatant misuse of this forum.

:offtopic: :stop: :matrixed:

Wow, THAT was weird -- I tried to quote the above, and quoted Teal instead!!!!! But I STILL needs hep, and needs a nickel to pay fer it.

Cow Poke
01-22-2014, 07:56 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMFuLtyj_vk

rogue06
01-22-2014, 08:09 AM
I hear voices in my head that keep telling me to send you all my money. should I ignore them or unplug the loudspeakers you set up?
Those are actually my squirrels whispering in your ear and telling you to send me your bacon. I can't blame you for misunderstanding it though. "Squee-skwik, squeeetk, squeek" does sound a lot like "Squee-squik sqeeeetk, squeek" to the untrained ear.

Teallaura
01-22-2014, 08:23 AM
Oh no, I added the squirrels to my new coat last week. Could you send about ten more? I'm almost finished...

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 08:28 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMFuLtyj_vk

Was I yelling at you? I can't remember on account of I'm totally charmed and goofily grining at that video. Here's a nickel!

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 08:29 AM
Just to be clear, I'm going to allow spam in this forum in this thread and this thread alone.

Do not test me. :matrixed:

Trout
01-22-2014, 09:17 AM
Dearest Jardin:

Sometimes when I'm watching television I see people in night clubs and at parties really enjoying themselves and I'm usually home alone, brushing my cats, wondering why I exist.

Is this normal?

Love,

Trout

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 10:17 AM
Dearest Jardin:

Sometimes when I'm watching television I see people in night clubs and at parties really enjoying themselves and I'm usually home alone, brushing my cats, wondering why I exist.

Is this normal?

Love,

Trout

Dear Trout:

"Normal," is a difficult term, wouldn't you agree? I encourage you to remember your identity is in Christ and, as such, you are in this world but not of it. In that regard, I would have to say that it is perfectly "normal" not to feel "normal," because you are not a citizen of this world. Rejoice, I say, in your doubts of normalcy.

It is also important to note that God has given us dominion over all the creatures of the earth and, as such, the amount of time spent brushing your cat is directly related to the size of your reward in heaven.

I trust your concerns have been allayed.

Blessings,

Lynn

mossrose
01-22-2014, 10:26 AM
Dear Trout:

"Normal," is a difficult term, wouldn't you agree? I encourage you to remember your identity is in Christ and, as such, you are in this world but not of it. In that regard, I would have to say that it is perfectly "normal" not to feel "normal," because you are not a citizen of this world. Rejoice, I say, in your doubts of normalcy.

It is also important to note that God has given us dominion over all the creatures of the earth and, as such, the amount of time spent brushing your cat is directly related to the size of your reward in heaven.

I trust your concerns have been allayed.

Blessings,

Lynn

Man. I would have just told him to go and get a life.

That's why you are able to charge a nickel for advice, I guess!

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 10:33 AM
Man. I would have just told him to go and get a life.

That's why you are able to charge a nickel for advice, I guess!

It's my gift, Mossy. I give the glory to God.

mossrose
01-22-2014, 10:34 AM
It's my gift, Mossy. I give the glory to God.

Yeah!

Trout
01-22-2014, 10:34 AM
Dearest Jardin:

Thanks for the great advice on cat brushing. I'm feeling much better.

I do have a second question:

I've a trip to Canada planned later in the summer; what precautions should I take to assure my safety?

I know Canadians have the highest crime rate among similarly sized third world countries.

Thanks in advance.

Trout

JardinPrayer
01-22-2014, 10:40 AM
Dearest Jardin:

Thanks for the great advice on cat brushing. I'm feeling much better.

I do have a second question:

I've a trip to Canada planned later in the summer; what precautions should I take to assure my safety?

I know Canadians have the highest crime rate among similarly sized third world countries.

Thanks in advance.

Trout

Glad I could help, Trout!

With regard to your second question, however, I must say that this topic is outside my area of expertise. Having never traveled to Canada myself, I must honestly say that the extent of my knowledge on the region is limited solely to what I have read about it on TWeb. That said, the best advice I can offer on that basis alone is that you should immediately cancel your trip. I hear north Florida is lovely in late summer.

Your comment about the crime rate is alarming, and somewhat fascinating. This is purely conjecture, but I have to wonder if Canada's overall rejection of the gospel and Christianity in general have something to do with their crime problem.

I have, however, met one or two (but, not more than two) very nice Canadian people. We should pray for Canada and hold onto hope!

Lynn

mossrose
01-22-2014, 10:42 AM
Dearest Jardin:

Thanks for the great advice on cat brushing. I'm feeling much better.

I do have a second question:

I've a trip to Canada planned later in the summer; what precautions should I take to assure my safety?

I know Canadians have the highest crime rate among similarly sized third world countries.

Thanks in advance.

Trout

Go and get a life!