EGAD - Endtimes Generalized Anxiety Disorder - TheDoorMagazine

[dizzle]

TheDoorMagazine (http://www.thedoormagazine.com)

Could You be Suffering from …?

http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/images/article_images/egad.jpg

Endtimes Generalized Anxiety Disorder?


By Randall F. West

Diagnostic Criteria

Endtimes Generalized Anxiety Disorder (EGAD) has a clear set of symptoms. Ask yourself the following:

:teeth: Do you worry excessively about the number of events or activities surrounding Israel? Has this occurred more days than not, for at least six months? Do you find yourself getting up at 3 a.m. to watch Fox News for late-breaking bulletins about the rebuilding of the temple?

:teeth: Do you find it difficult not to think about the Antichrist, especially while eating six-grain wheat bread?

:teeth: Is worrying about the endtimes causing you problems socially, at work, or in deciding whether to buy the four- or the twelve-pack?

:teeth: Do you have restlessness or feelings of being on the edge of eternity?

:teeth: Do you tire easily of conversations that do not mention the end of the world, or at least the 70 weeks of Daniel?

:teeth: Are you having problems concentrating, or does your mind go blank? Did you have to read this sentence twice? Did you have to read this sentence twice?

:teeth: Are you irritable? Do you just want to reach out and muss up Benny Hinn’s hair?

http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/images/article_images/endtimes_gad.jpg

:teeth: Are you aware of excessive muscle tension in those around you as you wave your uzi in the air shouting, “The end is near!”?

:teeth: Are you having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Do you persistently dream of Hal Lindsey in apocalyptic pajamas?

If you answered “Yes” to the first three and “Yes” to any of the rest, you meet the diagnostic criteria for EGAD and would benefit from professional help. If your situation doesn’t quite fit the description, but you are bothered by the symptoms, please still consider seeking help from your physician, spiritual care provider or Family Bookstore sales clerk.

In addition to EGAD, people may have other types of anxiety such as Pentecostal panic disorder, social liberal phobia (fear of social situations involving people who read Sojourners magazine), and agoradeiphobia (fear of meeting God outdoors).

Although all of these situations can be successfully treated, this notice focuses on EGAD. (Um, don’t look now, but I think you just missed the Rapture.)


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(www.TheDoorMagazine.com) or call 1-800-597-3667.

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Notice - The featuring of a particular ministry does not constitute endorsement of every single item or point of view published by said ministry by each and every member of TheologyWeb leadership. We strive to have a varied cross-section of representations of differing opinions on secondary Christian issues. The only requirement for the featuring of a particular ministry is that said ministry subscribes to the essentials artictulated in the TheologyWeb statement of faith found here in our Mission Statement (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/mission/)

[dizzle]

Okay guys this is a bit of a change of pace for us. I thoroughly enjoy TheDoor's satire and humor (except when it is my views being gored :lmbo:) and so I am pleased that we are gong to be featuring some of their pieces regularly on our home page. For the next few weeks we will be featuring different Door pieces so that you can get a taste of what they are about. I am a subscriber to the mag and if you like satire that helps us learn not to take ourselves so seriously and exposes some of the charlantry that masqueres under the banner of Christianity, consider subscribing as well.

[truthman]

I like how they have satire on all of Christendom, not just one little sect.

I loved their make funs of Hinn, Robertson and Hagee.

truthman

[dizzle]

I like how they have satire on all of Christendom, not just one little sect.

Yes me too. I don't always agree, but I can live with that and it helps me to see the ridiculousness in some things I take too seriously even if I ultimately disagree on some level. There is a need and place for that. I laugh so much though when reading it I just knew we had to feature them. I have heard about TheDoor since even before I was a Christian.

This EGAD article really cracked me up even more so cause "egad!" is such a popular expression here.

I just renewed my subscription, and if anyone here has not checked them out, get a subscription and try them out. It is a humorous change of pace.

[Solly]

Egad!!

[weighman]

Its obvious those that make fun have no knowledge of the Eternal Kingdom and no
hope to enjoy it.

[dizzle]

Its obvious those that make fun have no knowledge of the Eternal Kingdom and no
hope to enjoy it.

How nice of you to stop by and damn us. You come around again soon you here?

[dizzle]

Its obvious those that make fun have no knowledge of the Eternal Kingdom and no
hope to enjoy it.

[weighman]

I have no desire to damm you nor critisize your Humor, Only to understand it.

[dizzle]

I have no desire to damm you nor critisize your Humor, Only to understand it.

Which of course you did with your thorough and well-thought out post.

Oops, another log on my eternal flame. Oh the humanity!


Oops, I just went and check my Sourpuss Annotated Bible and you are right.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not have a sense of humor and must never point out the ridiculous things that the brethren can sometimes do, for you are only allowed to be the laughing stock of the heathen. Now go thee therefore and buy a Testamint for fresh minty breath with which to bless others.

[TCapp]

re: the OP.....

:hehe:

[Jeiel]

Well I do think it's funny.
Except, why would anyone want to mess with Hinn's hair, or even make a joke about messing with his hair? :shrug:

[Pilgrim]

All I can say is that it is official...Theologyweb is now the coolest Christian site on the entire WWW. The link with the Door Magazine is one of the best moves ever. The Door has been one of my personal favorites for years. Thanks Dee Dee for making this connection!

By the way Dee Dee, your response to Wedge is indeed worthy of The Door! You should send them a copy of the exchange!

[Em7add11]

Well I do think it's funny.
Except, why would anyone want to mess with Hinn's hair, or even make a joke about messing with his hair? :shrug:
Have you seen his hair??? :teeth:

[dizzle]

Hey thanks Pilgrim!!! The next few weeks we are gong to feature a few more Door humor pieces and hope to continue a relationship with them.

[Pilgrim]

Hey thanks Pilgrim!!! The next few weeks we are gong to feature a few more Door humor pieces and hope to continue a relationship with them.
This whole thing inspired me to renew my subscription to The Door. It had lapsed in the last year but after reading through the web site I remember just how funny the thing is. Though not as funny since Yaconelli et al. turned over the reigns. Still side splittin' stuff though.

[kofh2u]

I like how they have satire on all of Christendom, not just one little sect.

I loved their make funs of Hinn, Robertson and Hagee.

truthman

Satire?
Oh,... I thought they were serious.

I had hoped to read about the "medication" of Isaiah 60 and the recovery in that treatment as described by Zachariah.
Oh. well.... just christians jokin' sr'd i see

When are we going to start to build up the walls (Isaiah 60) of the Promised Land for all... Jew, Christian, and resident peoples?

We all know that the present world condition focuses on the problem of The Promised Land, an issue concerning peace and prosperity, do we not?

We all know that terrorism in Israel has become Terrorism everywhere.

We all know the whole issue is religious, in its context.

When do the 2 billion rich Christians spent whatever it takes?
Whatever it takes to make 2 million PLO and 7 million Jews live in a vacation wonderland of the Holy Land?

Christianity represents 2 billion cutomers for travel to Israel. Where are the churches on organizing this?

Where are the PLO jobs for hospitality? Where is Disney, Mac Donald, et al...

Where is the endless body of visitors and all the the wealth they bring when they visit to see this holiest of holy places?

Zech. 14:19 This shall be the punishment, total obsolescence, of Egypt and all Islam, and the punishment of all Christian denominations that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

Zech. 14:20 In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the LORD’S house shall be like the bowls before the altar.

Zech. 14:21 Yea, every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the LORD of hosts: and all they that sacrifice shall come and take of them, and seethe therein: and in that day there shall be no more the Canaanite-like disbeliever in the house of the LORD of hosts.

[Pilgrim]

Satire?
Oh,... I thought they were serious.

I had hoped to read about the "medication" of Isaiah 60 and the recovery in that treatment as described by Zachariah.
Oh. well.... just christians jokin' sr'd i see

When are we going to start to build up the walls (Isaiah 60) of the Promised Land for all... Jew, Christian, and resident peoples?

We all know that the present world condition focuses on the problem of The Promised Land, an issue concerning peace and prosperity, do we not?

We all know that terrorism in Israel has become Terrorism everywhere.

We all know the whole issue is religious, in its context.

When do the 2 billion rich Christians spent whatever it takes?
Whatever it takes to make 2 million PLO and 7 million Jews live in a vacation wonderland of the Holy Land?

Christianity represents 2 billion cutomers for travel to Israel. Where are the churches on organizing this?

Where are the PLO jobs for hospitality? Where is Disney, Mac Donald, et al...

Where is the endless body of visitors and all the the wealth they bring when they visit to see this holiest of holy places?

Zech. 14:19 This shall be the punishment, total obsolescence, of Egypt and all Islam, and the punishment of all Christian denominations that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

Zech. 14:20 In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the LORD’S house shall be like the bowls before the altar.

Zech. 14:21 Yea, every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the LORD of hosts: and all they that sacrifice shall come and take of them, and seethe therein: and in that day there shall be no more the Canaanite-like disbeliever in the house of the LORD of hosts.
Err...that's just...it's like...what?

Are off your meds today Koph?

[Pilgrim]

Satire?
Oh,... I thought they were serious.

I had hoped to read about the "medication" of Isaiah 60 and the recovery in that treatment as described by Zachariah.
Oh. well.... just christians jokin' sr'd i see

When are we going to start to build up the walls (Isaiah 60) of the Promised Land for all... Jew, Christian, and resident peoples?

We all know that the present world condition focuses on the problem of The Promised Land, an issue concerning peace and prosperity, do we not?

We all know that terrorism in Israel has become Terrorism everywhere.

We all know the whole issue is religious, in its context.

When do the 2 billion rich Christians spent whatever it takes?
Whatever it takes to make 2 million PLO and 7 million Jews live in a vacation wonderland of the Holy Land?

Christianity represents 2 billion cutomers for travel to Israel. Where are the churches on organizing this?

Where are the PLO jobs for hospitality? Where is Disney, Mac Donald, et al...

Where is the endless body of visitors and all the the wealth they bring when they visit to see this holiest of holy places?

Zech. 14:19 This shall be the punishment, total obsolescence, of Egypt and all Islam, and the punishment of all Christian denominations that come not up to keep the feast of tabernacles.

Zech. 14:20 In that day shall there be upon the bells of the horses, HOLINESS UNTO THE LORD; and the pots in the LORD’S house shall be like the bowls before the altar.

Zech. 14:21 Yea, every pot in Jerusalem and in Judah shall be holiness unto the LORD of hosts: and all they that sacrifice shall come and take of them, and seethe therein: and in that day there shall be no more the Canaanite-like disbeliever in the house of the LORD of hosts.
Oh , now I get it. Yes, all those "rich" Christians. Damn them all right? Like those filthy rich Christians living in shacks in Appalachia? Or how could we forget those extravagant Christians living in mud shacks in Africa? Oy, the horror.

I guess the rich hotel and club owners in the Gulf of Elot (Israel) taking me for 5 dollars an orange juice could really use some more cash to make things better eh?

[NormATive]

Thanks Dee Dee for posting that article. The Door Magazine is probably the best magazine in print today. :thumb: It's writers are the most urbane, witty, talented, winsome, intelligent, articulate, well-rounded, polite, wealthy, well-groomed, socially adept, mentally sharp, spiritually tuned, buff, sweet-breathed, group ever assembled for the task. :yes:

In fact, studies (4 out of 5 dentists) have shown that subscribing to The Door will improve your IQ by 70 points! Your spouse will jump your bones, the dog will clean up his/her own poop, the planets will align, and that infernal continental drift will subside. :deal:

Those who don't subscribe will have dire consequences :egad: of a most unspeakable nature.

Norm A. Tive
:cool:

[Pilgrim]

Why do I get the feeling the Norm is getting paid by The Door?

Seriously though, one of the funniest cartoons I have seen in my life was in the door. It's a drawing of a wall in a men's rest-room. It's a dirty sort of head and Just over the urinal is written, "for a good time call 555-1234...My husbands at Promise Keepers again."

A fell off my chair laughing.

[kofh2u]

Oh , now I get it. Yes, all those "rich" Christians. Damn them all right? Like those filthy rich Christians living in shacks in Appalachia? Or how could we forget those extravagant Christians living in mud shacks in Africa? Oy, the horror.

I guess the rich hotel and club owners in the Gulf of Elot (Israel) taking me for 5 dollars an orange juice could really use some more cash to make things better eh?


Hey, saying the Christians are rich wasn't my idea.

AND, I do wonder why Christians aren't pro-active on the end times issue since Israel has been reestablished as predicted.


Rev. 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am a rich large denominational church, and increased with good tithes, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretchedly without secularly acceptable scripture confirmations, and entrapped miserably in erroneous doctrine, and poor in a declining membership, and trapped in blind dogma, and nake and unprotected from the ever growing Age of Enlightment:

[dizzle]

Hey, saying the Christians are rich wasn't my idea.

AND, I do wonder why Christians aren't pro-active on the end times issue since Israel has been reestablished as predicted.


I am very proactively saying that modern Israel has zero to do with prophecy.

[Pilgrim]

Spot on Queen Dee. At anyrate, if even Christ says he doesn't know the time and day then our best course of action is to take Christ's advice to live each day as if it could be the day. You know, so we don't get surprised by the thief or have no oil in our lamps for the grooms return?

[Pilgrim]

Oh and by the way, it's a bit dangerous to confuse a secular Israeli nation state with an Israelite one, dontcha think?

[NormATive]

I am very proactively saying that modern Israel has zero to do with prophecy.
Couldn't agree with you more, Dee.

I would go one further: Zionism doesn't really have much to do with Judaism. Right this very moment, in downtown Jerusalem, there is a cabbal of Orthodox Rabbis praying for the end of the secular, Zionist state.

But, hey! Did you order your subscription to The Door yet? :deal: It's full of heady articles on this subject! :woohoo:

Norm A. Tive

[kofh2u]

Couldn't agree with you more, Dee.

I would go one further: Zionism doesn't really have much to do with Judaism. Right this very moment, in downtown Jerusalem, there is a cabbal of Orthodox Rabbis praying for the end of the secular, Zionist state.

But, hey! Did you order your subscription to The Door yet? :deal: It's full of heady articles on this subject! :woohoo:

Norm A. Tive

Yes. You got me there.

In Israel, 50% of the Jews are secular. About 25% are Orthidox Jews who would have a theocracy set up not too different from the one in the days of Jesus.

The Jews you mention, about have of the remaining quarter of tge population are certain that we are in the end times. They know enough that the Messiah must come and set up the kingdom of Israel, not they, themselves.

Boy, are they right!

Isa. 60:8 Who are these that fly as a cloud from the Americas, and as the doves of peace to their cathedral windows?

Isa. 60:9 Surely the isles of the New World shall wait for me, and the ships of Tarshish first from North America, to bring thy sons of Abraham from far, their silver and their gold with them, unto the name of the LORD thy God, and to the Holy One of Israel, because he hath glorified thee in Christianity.

Isa. 60:10 And the sons of strangers from the Americas shall build up thy walls, and their kings shall minister peace unto thee: for in my wrath I smote thee in Holocaust, but in my favour have I had mercy on thee.

[NormATive]

Yes. You got me there.

In Israel, 50% of the Jews are secular. About 25% are Orthidox Jews who would have a theocracy set up not too different from the one in the days of Jesus.
I would say that 85 - 90 % of Jews in Israel are secular. But, I could be wrong. I've not read any censuses lately. But, secular in the sense that we - you and I - are secular. Meaning, our government is intentionally non-sectarian in its approach to governing. It's quite possible to be a practicing Christian or Jew in a secular society without fear of reprisal, or without gaining any special favour for holding those religious beliefs.

I'm not sure I know what you mean by the second half of your statement. The Orthodox Jews would go back to the Mosaic model, not the era of the Second Temple during Jesus' time.

The Jews you mention, about have of the remaining quarter of tge population are certain that we are in the end times. They know enough that the Messiah must come and set up the kingdom of Israel, not they, themselves.
Well, I've read that it is less than one half of one percent of the population of Jerusalem, but yeah; they believe we are indeed in the "last days" - a completely different concept from "end times" as Christians understand that term, btw.

Boy, are they right!

Isa. 60:8 Who are these that fly as a cloud from the Americas, and as the doves of peace to their cathedral windows?

Isa. 60:9 Surely the isles of the New World shall wait for me, and the ships of Tarshish first from North America, to bring thy sons of Abraham from far, their silver and their gold with them, unto the name of the LORD thy God, and to the Holy One of Israel, because he hath glorified thee in Christianity.

Isa. 60:10 And the sons of strangers from the Americas shall build up thy walls, and their kings shall minister peace unto thee: for in my wrath I smote thee in Holocaust, but in my favour have I had mercy on thee.
You've lost me here. Please 'splain what in the Sam Hill (:noid: -Norm cleaning up his act) you're talking about. :huh:

Norm A. Tive

[dizzle]

Yes. You got me there.


The Jews you mention, about have of the remaining quarter of tge population are certain that we are in the end times.

and they are just as certainly wrong as their forebears were on the promised Messiah.



They know enough that the Messiah must come and set up the kingdom of Israel, not they, themselves.

Really? You trust them on this when they don't know enough to know that the Messiah has already came? Strange. And do you mean the "kingdom" that Daniel 2 states would come in the first century? That one? The one that Jesus says He came to bring? That one?

Are you just pulling our leg?

[NormATive]

and they are just as certainly wrong as their forebears were on the promised Messiah.
I wouldn't say the Jews are "wrong" about their expectations for Messiah. They are anticipating a different thing entirely than what we find in Jesus. Christianity rejected the First Testament description of Messiah (as an earthly, political saviour; i.e., human who is anointed by G-d for the task).

We have taken our own, Christian, understanding of what Messiah means, and forced that definition on the Jews. I think after 5,000 years of experience, they pretty much know what they believe.

IMO, we have to stop trying to convince Jews that what they really meant by Messiah is Jesus. Or, perhaps we should stop referring to him in Jewish terms.

But, hey; aren't we straying :offtopic: ? You can find an in-depth discussion on post-exhilic, pre-hensile, millenialisiticisimiticom, zionisticisimsismsimic in the next issue* of The Door Magazine.

*actually, I'm lying.

Norm A. Tive

[Lostdog]

I see this place isn't immune to the wandering-topic syndrome either!

(Norm has a habit of doing that over at The Door Magazine Chat Closet...stop by and see us sometime! - The Door Magazine Shameless Plug Dep't)

It was The Door (then called The Wittenberg Door) that allowed me to see the lighter side of my faith. I stole a copy from my Youth Pastor and ordered my first mag at age 17...been subscribing ever since (there was a 3 year hiatus due to marriage and lack of fundage!)

Being one who was called a smart-ass by his own father, I knew I'd found a home in the Door. They were smart-asses too. So, take yourself a little less serious when you read it but open yourself up for what you may miss as you are laughing. Some of the articles are deadly serious beneath all the froo-frah.

Eric ;)

[ilkhani'tus]

Yes me too. I don't always agree, but I can live with that and it helps me to see the ridiculousness in some things I take too seriously even if I ultimately disagree on some level. There is a need and place for that. I laugh so much though when reading it I just knew we had to feature them. I have heard about TheDoor since even before I was a Christian.

This EGAD article really cracked me up even more so cause "egad!" is such a popular expression here.

I just renewed my subscription, and if anyone here has not checked them out, get a subscription and try them out. It is a humorous change of pace.

I'll give you this...this is the only christian board that I've heard of where the MODS themselves actually link to, and post articles from religious satire magazines!

Lord knows (pun not intended, and unavoidable, really) certain other boards I know of would NEVER do that!


<random comments deleted because I keep breaking my own rules about posting while drunk>

(Yes, that last was a joke!)

[kofh2u]

and they are just as certainly wrong as their forebears were on the promised Messiah.



Really? You trust them on this when they don't know enough to know that the Messiah has already came? Strange. And do you mean the "kingdom" that Daniel 2 states would come in the first century? That one? The one that Jesus says He came to bring? That one?

Are you just pulling our leg?


DD,
Hi....
No, I trust the Word.

That this particular sect of Jews, they represent politically, 25% of the population... in that they look forward to the coming of the messiah they are not wrong, true?

And, yes, I do mean that kingdom that Jesus brought in the 1st century and the one that is still here, today.

I also refer to the 1000 year reign of that kingdom under the theocracy Universal Catholicism:

Rev. 20:1 And I saw mentally, as it were, an angel, a psychic aspect to my thinking, come down from heaven of thoughts in my mind, having the key of social evolution for the bottomless pit of time and a great chain of social restraint was in his hand.

Rev. 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, the subtle cultural system of exploitive sexual mores, that old serpent, paganism, which is the Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan, and bound him, the dragon, throughout the 1000 years of the Dark Ages,

Rev. 20:3 And cast him into the bottomless pit of time, and shut him up, inhibiting the sexual freedom and adolescent license, and set the seal of the Cross upon him, that he, the dragon of that subcultural should deceive the nations of Western Europe no more, till the Dark Age of one thousand years should be fulfilled: and after he, the dragon of paganism, must be reinstituted a little season of @500 years.

[dizzle]

Where in the world are you getting that mangled text?

[$cirisme]

Good heavens that is a terrible translation.

[NSMinistries]

Okay I know my Bibles and I need to know the translation of that one.

[apple]

DD,
Rev. 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, the subtle cultural system of exploitive sexual mores, that old serpent, paganism, which is the Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan, and bound him, the dragon, throughout the 1000 years of the Dark Ages,

Rev. 20:3 And cast him into the bottomless pit of time, and shut him up, inhibiting the sexual freedom and adolescent license, and set the seal of the Cross upon him, that he, the dragon of that subcultural should deceive the nations of Western Europe no more, till the Dark Age of one thousand years should be fulfilled: and after he, the dragon of paganism, must be reinstituted a little season of @500 years.

The Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan? My goodness! Satan/the Devil is supposed to be the enemy of mankind. For 2,000 years, or should I say 3,000 years, mankind has been fighting against something known as Satan or the Devil. Billions of people worship a God hoping He will protect them from this monstrous being, this gargoyle. Satan/the Devil is the name we give the "thing" that is the destroyer of mankind and you say it is sex!?!? My goodness! Your post is screaming, "Therapy, my man, therapy." :-(

[Dave G]

Not to speak for kof, but his translation is the Freudian bible translation.

[apple]

Not to speak for kof, but his translation is the Freudian bible translation.

I have written to the publishers requesting a copy. Can't wait to check it out!

[kofh2u]

Not to speak for kof, but his translation is the Freudian bible translation.



Thankz for making the point.

As far as apple's comment , there is not attempt to deny nor negate either of the two archetpal members of man's sevenfold psyche.

He mistakes healthy Libido and sane Anima in our mind and manifest in collective social behaviors with the madness of EXCESS:

"The Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness.."

It is the Devil side of the feminine principle, the Anima, which aids in the whoredom in our economic and social life. It is the LICENSE that is wrong, not the psychic apparatus. The Libido is the psychic drive, hunger and taste and smell and all our carnal activity. Libido is not to be stifled nor eliminated. It is the gluttony of sexual extremism, lust, that needs regulation by Conscience and the reality ptinciple inherent in the Self.

Excess and license is what we are looking at here in these verse of Revelation.

Note:

Rev. 17:2 With whom (the political powers), the kings of the earth, have committed (themselves to a sexually misdirected economic system of) fornications, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her (porno-sexually exploitation by) fornications.

Rev. 17:3 So he carried me away (in the spirit of thought), into the
wilderness (of my imagination) and I saw (as if) a woman, (those who have institutionalized a system of sexual seduction into a failed matrimony), sit upon a scarlet coloured beast (of a brazen and corrupt sexually misdirected economic system), full of names of (Pagan) blasphemy, having seven heads, (which existed in (1) Egypt, (2) Assyria, (3) Babylon, (4) Persia/Mede, (5) Greece, (6) Rome (7) the whole of Western Culture to follow) having ten horns upon these seven heads:
(1. Anarchy, 2. Lombard-Vandalism, 3. Papacy, 4. Charlemagne, 5. Holy
Roman Empire, 6. Italy, 7. Spain, 8. France, 9. Britain, 10. Nazi Germany).

Rev. 17:4 And the woman, (symbolizing those who have Institutionalized a system of sexual seduction into a failed matrimony), was arrayed in (recognizable hues of) purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls (of her courtships and divorces), having a golden cup in her hand, (a sacramental place in the order of religion), full of abominations (of abortions, STD, even gay marriage), and the filthiness of her (sins of adolescence of her numerous) fornications (before choosing the victim of her marriage):

[Rayado]

:huh:

Since when was Freud a theologian? And if memory serves me correctly, wasn't he kind of out to get rid of theism in general?

And DD & Cir are right, that is a legendarily bad translation. "Bad" doesn't even begin to describe it.

Loved the article, btw. :hehe: I recently subscribed, and really enjoyed the March/April issue.

Loved DD's response to Weighman even more. :haha:

[kofh2u]

:huh:

Since when was Freud a theologian? And if memory serves me correctly, wasn't he kind of out to get rid of theism in general?

And DD & Cir are right, that is a legendarily bad translation. "Bad" doesn't even begin to describe it.

Loved the article, btw. :hehe: I recently subscribed, and really enjoyed the March/April issue.

Loved DD's response to Weighman even more. :haha:

I suspect Freud was a Jewish coward who may have understood more about theology than he wished to admit.

In 1920, church attendance in America was almost 100%, and there was not much more toleration for theological freedom of free speech than available around the time of the Inquisition. Of course, I exaggerate, to be sure.

But, to suggest the angels of scripture are mental constructs, either in our psyche or in the collective social behavior would have had consequences for that guy, in that day.

According to the date of the first edition of The Freudian Bible Translation and Interpretation, Freud was long dead when it was written and published.

Nevertheless, the secular factual knowledge Freud and Carl Jung first brought to our modern attention is strangely, too strangely analogous to the seven spirits mentioned in Rev 1:4

Rev. 1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars (the sevenfold angels of the psyche: Id, Libido, Ego, Anima, Self, Harmony, Superego): and out of his mouth went a two-edged sword (cutting both secular and theological wisdom): and his countenance was as the sun (of rationality) shineth in his strength (of factual knowledge).

[dizzle]

:looney:

[Rayado]

I suspect Freud was a Jewish coward who may have understood more about theology than he wished to admit.
I doubt it. Freud wouldn't have known theology if it had bit him on the face.

But the Jewish coward part?!

In 1920, church attendance in America was almost 100%, and there was not much more toleration for theological freedom of free speech than available around the time of the Inquisition. Of course, I exaggerate, to be sure. :huh:

But, to suggest the angels of scripture are mental constructs, either in our psyche or in the collective social behavior would have had consequences for that guy, in that day. :help:
Is there a translator around who could take a stab at interpreting this?

According to the date of the first edition of The Freudian Bible Translation and Interpretation, Freud was long dead when it was written and published.I can tell. I'm surprised it wasn't laughed out of existence.

Nevertheless, the secular factual knowledge Freud and Carl Jung first brought to our modern attention is strangely, too strangely analogous to the seven spirits mentioned in Rev 1:4*fastens seatbelt*

Rev. 1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars (the sevenfold angels of the psyche: Id, Libido, Ego, Anima, Self, Harmony, Superego): and out of his mouth went a two-edged sword (cutting both secular and theological wisdom): and his countenance was as the sun (of rationality) shineth in his strength (of factual knowledge).
:twitch:
Quite frankly, this interpretation of Revelation should be :matrixed: by all Christians who have even a passing interest in their beliefs. Heck, they attribute human (albeit psychoanalytic) characteristics to the Spirit of God at Rev. 1:16! This clearly misinterprets the verse (so badly that I, of all people, can recognize), not to mention the entirety of Biblical text.

It would be quite a laugh, if you weren't being serious.

[kofh2u]

[QUOTE=Fëanor]I doubt it. Freud wouldn't have known theology if it had bit him on the face.

But the Jewish coward part?!

:huh:

:help:
Is there a translator around who could take a stab at interpreting this?

I can tell. I'm surprised it wasn't laughed out of existence.

*fastens seatbelt*


:twitch:
Quite frankly, this interpretation of Revelation should be :matrixed: by all Chris

1) Don't think that I disagree with you.
Any person who interprets scripture from Genesis one on,... in the way all twelve present major denominations do,... would see no reason to be objective in their criticism.
Simple ridicule, even a good scourging and maybe a crown of thorns well deserved should suffice as a reply. For sure!

2) However, the Freudian Bible Translation and its composite accompaning bracketed Interpretation starts right off with the idea that: "man in the image of God" is not a physical reflection of God, but a mental ability to abstractly reflect upon God. The premise is carried consistently and flawlessly throughout,that man, in knowing His creation, knows the Creator, a powerful mantra of Christianity.



Gen. 1:26 And God, (The Universal Force, the macrocosmos), said, Let us, (the Natural Laws), make man,(a conscious mind, to model us, Universe, the microcosmos, in order that our image might be modeled after our own orderly organization): and let him (that conscious mind,) have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

Gen. 1:27 So God (The Universal Force) created man (an abstract mind in his own image, enabled to image The Universal Force, abstractly and mathematically), so created God (The Universal Force) him; male and female created he them.

[Rayado]

But it's completely eisegetical in its' reading of Freud into the Bible. That alone is enough to make me more than a little suspicious of it...

[kofh2u]

But it's completely eisegetical in its' reading of Freud into the Bible. That alone is enough to make me more than a little suspicious of it...


How so?

[Rayado]

How so?

:twitch:
Here, for starters.

I also refer to the 1000 year reign of that kingdom under the theocracy Universal Catholicism:

Rev. 20:1 And I saw mentally, as it were, an angel, a psychic aspect to my thinking, come down from heaven of thoughts in my mind, having the key of social evolution for the bottomless pit of time and a great chain of social restraint was in his hand.

Rev. 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, the subtle cultural system of exploitive sexual mores, that old serpent, paganism, which is the Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan, and bound him, the dragon, throughout the 1000 years of the Dark Ages,

Rev. 20:3 And cast him into the bottomless pit of time, and shut him up, inhibiting the sexual freedom and adolescent license, and set the seal of the Cross upon him, that he, the dragon of that subcultural should deceive the nations of Western Europe no more, till the Dark Age of one thousand years should be fulfilled: and after he, the dragon of paganism, must be reinstituted a little season of @500 years.

Thousand year reign of Catholicism?
Chain of social evolution?
An angel reduced to a psychic phenomenon?
The Millenium being the Dark Ages?
"Libidinal lustfulness" of Satan?
Western Europe, in Scripture?

Rev. 1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars (the sevenfold angels of the psyche: Id, Libido, Ego, Anima, Self, Harmony, Superego): and out of his mouth went a two-edged sword (cutting both secular and theological wisdom): and his countenance was as the sun (of rationality) shineth in his strength (of factual knowledge).

Id? Libido, ego, etc., read into Scripture 1,900 years after it was written?
Sun of rationality? Strength of factual knowledge?

It's reading into Revelation what, quite frankly, is not there, nor was intended to be there.

This is nothing more than reading one's own beliefs & thoughts (or in this case, psychoanalysis) into the existing text. What Bible verse says to do this, III Eisegesis 10:1?

And I'm not even going to touch the "doctored" Isaiah passages.

[apple]

Mr. Kofh and/or the Freudian Bible translators could certainly use a Freud analysis. I have never seen such a sexual hangup. To think someone or someones wrote the Bible and the main message is about sex and sex being the destruction or the catalyst of world destruction because of excess is totally mind boggling.

On the other hand we live in a time where parents would rather see their children die from disease than counsel the use of and offer condoms.

Still waiting for my copy of the Freudian Bible. It will replace the booklet "1001 Dirty Jokes" currently hanging in the lavatory.

[kofh2u]

:twitch:
Here, for starters.



Thousand year reign of Catholicism?
Chain of social evolution?
An angel reduced to a psychic phenomenon?
The Millenium being the Dark Ages?
"Libidinal lustfulness" of Satan?
Western Europe, in Scripture?



Id? Libido, ego, etc., read into Scripture 1,900 years after it was written?
Sun of rationality? Strength of factual knowledge?

It's reading into Revelation what, quite frankly, is not there, nor was intended to be there.

This is nothing more than reading one's own beliefs & thoughts (or in this case, psychoanalysis) into the existing text. What Bible verse says to do this, III Eisegesis 10:1?

And I'm not even going to touch the "doctored" Isaiah passages.

1) Yes, but I said how so that this is your reaction... you specified no particularberror only reiterate that this is not the 1000 years you would suggest, that the "seven stars in his right hand" are not psychic "angels" ... for instance.

You fail except to be offended in such interpretation... offering none ypurself nor faulting the reasonableness of The Freudian Bible Translation and Interpretation.

2) Remember the Galilleo Affair.

Rev. 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am a rich (large denominational church), and increased with goods (and tithes), and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretchedly (without secularly acceptable scripture confirmations, and entrapped miserably in erroneous doctrine), and poor in (a declining membership, and trapped in blind dogma), and nake (and unprotected from the ever growing Age of Enlightment):

[Rayado]

1) Yes, but I said how so that this is your reaction... you specified no particularberror only reiterate that this is not the 1000 years you would suggest, that the "seven stars in his right hand" are not psychic "angels" ... for instance.Actually I specified a small list of things I percieve as erroneous (for what it's worth).

You fail except to be offended in such interpretation... offering none ypurself nor faulting the reasonableness of The Freudian Bible Translation and Interpretation.Offended? Me, offended? :lol: No, I'm not offended by it, but I'm not particularly pleased with it.

But calling it "reasonable?" In light of the mountains of valid Biblical research? :huh: Why do you uncritically accept this interpretation, when so many here who know Scripture don't touch it?

2) Remember the Galilleo Affair.

Rev. 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am a rich (large denominational church), and increased with goods (and tithes), and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretchedly (without secularly acceptable scripture confirmations, and entrapped miserably in erroneous doctrine), and poor in (a declining membership, and trapped in blind dogma), and nake (and unprotected from the ever growing Age of Enlightment):
Case in point.

What we have here (as with most of the rest of the FBT) is the use of a 20th Century interpretation to pigeonhole Scripture to speak of an event 1500 years into the future from when John wrote it for his audience. Basically what the FBT has done is 'out-Gnostic' the Gnostics when it comes to Scripure.

(edit: DD, I apologize for dragging this thread :offtopic: and onto the FBT.)

[Keith Rex]

I think the big problem is fear of no end times - that it is going to go on like this FOREVER! It was a big relief to know that it would soon be all over when the USSR and the UN were threatening to start a cosmic battie and all that - yet so many years after and the USSR is dead and the UN is dying. Could it be that there is never ever going to be an end time and in the far distant future we are just going to all die of boredom and that will be all there is?