Ashamed for not being more vocal about my beliefs

[hierogrammate]

This is both a prayer request and an effort to vent off steam about a personal issue that often eats me up inside.

My concern could be summed as follows: I feel deeply ashamed for not having the courage to "defend" Christianity from those who make fun of it and see it as an "easy target." I feel unworthy of calling myself a Christian, and wonder if the faith (pistis) I tell myself I have is real, or just something I tell myself to avoid falling into nihilism.

To give a specific example: there's this group of friends that I have... We meet periodically to play cards or RPG games. I cannot say categorically that all of them are like that...maybe some just keep quiet like me (though I know that a couple of them are atheists...one of them the kind of atheist that believes in ghosts and extra-terrestrials, though :ahem: ), but the casual way in which some of them say things I find offensive, even blasphemous, is tearing me up inside.

It hurts me when I hear them speaking of the Creator and his Word like that (from stuff like calling the Bible "mythology," to absurd logical puzzles like "Can God make a stone so heavy that not even He can lift?", to profanities when they get upset at something or other that I will not repeat here). I just try to ignore them until the comment dies down and everything goes back to normal. I don't want to start an argument, especially when emotions may cloud what I might say (I'm quite passionate with things that are close to my heart). I feel like a coward for not speaking out and say, at the very least, that I am deeply offended by such and such comment, and that I expect the same respect that I freely give them. I fear being mocked for what I believe. Maybe I fear being challenged (or seen as a "religious nut") and not being able to reply coherently for being either emotionally clouded or simply due to my lack of self-esteem. It's hard for me admitting to be such a pansy, being a man and all that. :blush:

Hmm... I suprised myself last week when I "dared" to reply to "the Bible is just another mythology" comment with "But not for those who are Christians." Trust me, for someone like me who is quite hermetic with my beliefs, the mere articulation of those words was an event of cosmic proportions. :)

This is getting long-winded. I'm not the kind of person that asks others to pray for me... it feels kind of selfish of me to ask for that when there are other people with worse problems than I... but I feel I need to ask for it. I need God to grant me wisdom, courage, and especially maturity to deal with this.

Edwin

====================
P.S. I am also affected by issues similar to those posted by JawaMan here:

http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23043

I'm thoroughly sympathetic with what he's going through.... But I refrained from adding that issue here to keep the post as focused as possible...

[luv1another]

heiro :hi:
I can honestly say that I know some of what your going through... I too don't stand up to people etc.
But I think it takes a wise person to work out the times to say something and the times not to as well and its hard to find a good balance... atheists and other beliefs do not go by Christian rules they can not sin as such because is disobeying Gods authoriy... atheists don't know God to disobey him. So we can not judge them by our biblical principles.
so when they are making fun of God etc its to them nothing it's like making fun of a wooden spoon.
however if you are offended by it then you should say so politely... not get all defensive just say something like excuse me that offends me. and if they are using Gods name as a cuss word simply ask if they would please not talk like that... you would be surprised how many people will act diffrently if asked politely... sure some won't but do you need to associate with people who can not respect your needs?

and I think I also need to take my advice here :smile: but I know I have a problem with confrontation... I always avoid it if possible.
now sometimes thats a good thing... but others I wish I had said something.

Dont be too hard on your self though... you see you can also live like Christ and do what he asked and love 1 another (yes thats where I get my screen name :smile: ) and people will automatically see something diffrent about you :smile: and people will automatically act diffrent around you... and some people may even become christians from just watching how you do things.

anyway enough of my rambling :smile:
oh and never ever feel bad about asking for prayer... the bretheren (bro's and sis's in Christ) are called to encourage and lift each other in prayer... even things that seem silly to you at the time is important... nothing is too small or unimportant to ask prayer for. If it bothers you it should hold great importance to all your bro's and sisters in Christ.
((((((((((((((((( Edwin ))))))))))))))))))))))

Father I thankyou for Edwin, I ask father that you would help them to focus on you and not what others may think or their prideful nature but totally on you and what you want in any given situation. I ask that you would give them the confidence and strength they need to speak out when you want them to and the wisdom to know when to hang back. Lord I ask that you would draw edwin closer to you each day. I ask this in Jesus name amen

[Cleombrotus]

This is both a prayer request and an effort to vent off steam about a personal issue that often eats me up inside.

My concern could be summed as follows: I feel deeply ashamed for not having the courage to "defend" Christianity from those who make fun of it and see it as an "easy target." I feel unworthy of calling myself a Christian, and wonder if the faith (pistis) I tell myself I have is real, or just something I tell myself to avoid falling into nihilism.

To give a specific example: there's this group of friends that I have... We meet periodically to play cards or RPG games. I cannot say categorically that all of them are like that...maybe some just keep quiet like me (though I know that a couple of them are atheists...one of them the kind of atheist that believes in ghosts and extra-terrestrials, though :ahem: ), but the casual way in which some of them say things I find offensive, even blasphemous, is tearing me up inside.

It hurts me when I hear them speaking of the Creator and his Word like that (from stuff like calling the Bible "mythology," to absurd logical puzzles like "Can God make a stone so heavy that not even He can lift?", to profanities when they get upset at something or other that I will not repeat here). I just try to ignore them until the comment dies down and everything goes back to normal. I don't want to start an argument, especially when emotions may cloud what I might say (I'm quite passionate with things that are close to my heart). I feel like a coward for not speaking out and say, at the very least, that I am deeply offended by such and such comment, and that I expect the same respect that I freely give them. I fear being mocked for what I believe. Maybe I fear being challenged (or seen as a "religious nut") and not being able to reply coherently for being either emotionally clouded or simply due to my lack of self-esteem. It's hard for me admitting to be such a pansy, being a man and all that. :blush:

Hmm... I suprised myself last week when I "dared" to reply to "the Bible is just another mythology" comment with "But not for those who are Christians." Trust me, for someone like me who is quite hermetic with my beliefs, the mere articulation of those words was an event of cosmic proportions. :)

This is getting long-winded. I'm not the kind of person that asks others to pray for me... it feels kind of selfish of me to ask for that when there are other people with worse problems than I... but I feel I need to ask for it. I need God to grant me wisdom, courage, and especially maturity to deal with this.

Edwin




Edwin,

I think your response was entirely appropriate in that it was proactive and not reactive. A defensive posture is rarely a "winning" strategy. (Not that it is about "winning") Never go on the defensive if at all possible.
There are many reasons why we do not "speak up", some worse than others, but the least effective are those which are performed compulsively, that is, because we feel it is our "duty" or that we are required to do so. Adopting an attitude of choosing our battles helps much.
Most times I think we hold back because we are unsure of the best approach to take or are unsure of our ability to answer the objections we assume will be forthcoming. In those cases an attitude of research is helpful. In other words, jump in anyway and see what you can learn. Remember, in John 6 Jesus said "Gather up the fragments left over that nothing may be lost" We learn something each time we attempt to share God's Word, sometimes it's what NOT to do next time. Experience is the best teacher.
But overall I would caution you about allowing yourself to feel guilty about not saying anything. That usually leads to an unreal approach in witnessing. It is not our "job" to get people to believe; it is our privilege to be able to learn how to be effective in showing them the choice they themselves are required to make.
Rather than defending yourself, look at these occurrences as opportunities to take hold of the conversation to your advantage. When it does not go correctly, don't be afraid to drop it. But above all, learn. Never stop learning how best to make Jesus known.

And remember that the battle belongs to the Lord; not you.


Regards,
Cleombrotus

[hierogrammate]

To Cleombrotus and luv1another:

Thanks for your advice, thoughtfulness, and prayers. It helped me to put things in perspective...*sigh*

I apologize if I took so long to answer but, well, after posting this issue I felt so embarrassed that I avoided the forum until now. It's unnerving the way one can open oneself in media such as these (especially for someone of my introspective nature), and then, *bwam*, I realize that this will, indeed be read by others, and it is not merely a note added to my personal journal on my PC. :blush:

Well, at least I was man enough to come back and look at what I wrote and the replies it generated.

Again, thanks :teeth:

Edwin