elysian
May 17th 2004, 10:12 AM
Remember Mad Libs? Where you insert a word here and there in a template (a noun here, a verb there, a proper noun there) and you get a goofy story?
http://www.cryptoclast.org/Opinion/religion/create/index.htm
This is irreverent, but fun in an oddly satisfying way.
Here's a couple I came up with:
Atheist Faith Creation
'Atheist Text'
A fluctuation in the quantum peanut brittle of the eternal multiverse initiated the beginning of our crispy universe. We call this event The Big UNDERPANTS, and from it came all the matter and stained m&m's we see today. From this matter and stained m&m's, gravity coalesced dog sweaters which ignited in a burst of curly reactions. Eventually planets formed and began to fart noisily around these great flaming dog sweaters. On some of the planets the conditions were right for amino acids to form and dance with rocks to make early life. Through a process of survival of the stickiest, more complicated organisms evolved, because the stickiest organisms are the ones most likely to pass on their hula dancers to future generations. Giant tanned cheerleaders evolved and snottily ruled the earth, for millions of years. But they were killed when a mile long jockstrap decided our planet. Fortunately this event set the stage for the lowly whitey-tighties to evolve into the proto-skidmark and finally into the humans of today.
New Religion Creation
'New Age Text'
From the most stinky regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Elvis, bringing to you the wisdom and taco of the lost city of Detroit. To usher in the New Age of bugs you must heed my words and fornicate lustily. The time is soon when the space Ford Escorts of our galactic cousins will return and our collective odiferousness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the winkie chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd elbow shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner Kleenex. We must feel the inner Kleenex, become the inner Kleenex, fabricate it as though it was a fart. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Willie Nelson, always says 'The true form of a underwear is actually a crusty pants, but enlightenment is like a flowery beer on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no Elvis bust lamp or anti-Elvis bust lamp, only one great and omnipresent butt.
:teeth: :teeth: :teeth:
http://www.cryptoclast.org/Opinion/religion/create/index.htm
This is irreverent, but fun in an oddly satisfying way.
Here's a couple I came up with:
Atheist Faith Creation
'Atheist Text'
A fluctuation in the quantum peanut brittle of the eternal multiverse initiated the beginning of our crispy universe. We call this event The Big UNDERPANTS, and from it came all the matter and stained m&m's we see today. From this matter and stained m&m's, gravity coalesced dog sweaters which ignited in a burst of curly reactions. Eventually planets formed and began to fart noisily around these great flaming dog sweaters. On some of the planets the conditions were right for amino acids to form and dance with rocks to make early life. Through a process of survival of the stickiest, more complicated organisms evolved, because the stickiest organisms are the ones most likely to pass on their hula dancers to future generations. Giant tanned cheerleaders evolved and snottily ruled the earth, for millions of years. But they were killed when a mile long jockstrap decided our planet. Fortunately this event set the stage for the lowly whitey-tighties to evolve into the proto-skidmark and finally into the humans of today.
New Religion Creation
'New Age Text'
From the most stinky regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Elvis, bringing to you the wisdom and taco of the lost city of Detroit. To usher in the New Age of bugs you must heed my words and fornicate lustily. The time is soon when the space Ford Escorts of our galactic cousins will return and our collective odiferousness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the winkie chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd elbow shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner Kleenex. We must feel the inner Kleenex, become the inner Kleenex, fabricate it as though it was a fart. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Willie Nelson, always says 'The true form of a underwear is actually a crusty pants, but enlightenment is like a flowery beer on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no Elvis bust lamp or anti-Elvis bust lamp, only one great and omnipresent butt.
:teeth: :teeth: :teeth: