To Spank or Not to Spank

[Jade]

I'd like to generate a discussion on spanking.

What do y'all think? Is spanking a good idea or a bad one? Why?

[yxboom]

I think situation dictates.

Some children who are more inclined to being unruly of course it would be doing more harm not to. Other children who quiver at an angered tone of their parent would be borderline abuse since the child's will was broken long before any corporal punishment. The purpose of spanking is to deter bad behaivor so it shouldn't be ruled out but by no means a first line of defense.

[Pilgrim]

It's also a matter of cognitive development. At young ages children can not be reasoned with because they have not developed the capacity for abstract or logical thinking.

Positive and negative reinforcement is the only means of teaching. It follows Kohlbergs stages in large part. Of course they may or may not mean actual spanking for any given child.

[luv1another]

I would say as YxBoom said it depends on the situation and the child. I have 3 children and all have diffrent personalities. one of my girls all you have to do is get a grumpy voice on and tell her off and she runs to her room crying .... its very rarely I smack her I think maybe 2 or 3 times in her whole 5 years of life :smile:
I also have an older girl 11yrs who hardly ever got smacked, she hardly ever did anything naughty as a small child. I also have a boy he is the middle child I could yell at him or tell him off or ban Tv or send him to his room till Im blue and he just keeps doing what he wants when he wants to. The only thing that works with him is a smack with the wooden spoon. Dont get me wrong I don't beat him I smack only on his bottom with pants on and only one smack occasionally 2 if the first one fails to work.
I think people can go over board and thats not good.
My own father was like that sometimes he would get angry and wouldnt know when to stop smacking.. I remember going to school with whelps from the rubber belt he had I had to go swimming and I was in year 8 at school, I had about 8 black and blue whelps on my back and legs... the kids told me to go to the police and dob my dad in.... so I know that people can be obsessive in their control of children and go over board with discipline.
I believe it can be a fine line at times between discipline and abuse... and anyone who smacks children should never do so when they are angry. send the child to their room if you are angry, calm down and then go in a calm frame of mind discuss what the child did wrong with them and then smack the child.
anger is never benificial to discipline.
children are a gift from God he has loaned them to us to bring up, for us to teach and raise don't abuse that gift.

in Christs Love
Luv1another

[Bill the Cat]

Dr. Kevin Lehman handles spanking in his book "How to make children mind without losing yours" It changed the way I parent drastically.