Before my sister in laws diagnosis of stage 4 cancer in January of this year, my husband and his sister spoke once every few months. Since her diagnosis this has changed drastically (which I assume is normal). He calls daily, more than 5x a day, for 10-30 minutes per call these past 6 months. (I saw the usage on the bill, I was curious/nosy) (I try to tell myself this is not excessive, she is sick).To some (or many, or everyone) I may sound very callous right now I know and have no excuse. But I 'feel' this may not be very 'healthy'. Am I crazy? I'm not jealous but there are times when I'm trying to call him and instead of calling me back he's calling her on his work break and doesn't call me at all saying 'we live together, if it's an emergency leave me a message'. Nice. I feel his preoccupation is his sisters illness and his "family" (mother, father, sister).
I think it's not unusual that a sibling lean on another sibling because of an illness. (however stressful it is to a marriage) He has become much closer to his mom and father too because of this disease...which again, must be typical.
The taking away from our marriage and family time with the phone (extensive) calls and trips to visit is something I should deal with how exactly?? I'd like to learn to be less selfish because I know no one is going to say I'm right. (Because I feel I'm being selfish but sometimes I need him too)
Thanks.
ps- my adult siblings and I are very independent from our parents, polar opposites of my husbands family. I don't know that I would call a sibling daily even if they were ill just because it's not how we are. But, I can't say for sure.
I think it's not unusual that a sibling lean on another sibling because of an illness. (however stressful it is to a marriage) He has become much closer to his mom and father too because of this disease...which again, must be typical.
The taking away from our marriage and family time with the phone (extensive) calls and trips to visit is something I should deal with how exactly?? I'd like to learn to be less selfish because I know no one is going to say I'm right. (Because I feel I'm being selfish but sometimes I need him too)
Thanks.
ps- my adult siblings and I are very independent from our parents, polar opposites of my husbands family. I don't know that I would call a sibling daily even if they were ill just because it's not how we are. But, I can't say for sure.
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