Anything your God can do, mine can do better . . .

[Rusty T]

So there!

[yxboom]

No it can't!

[FirstSunday33ad]

Today @ 12:40 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=94302#post94302)
tizzidale:

So there!

Really? Prove it.

[Rusty T]

My God has written a thoroughly understandable revelation to man about man. . .

It simply reads, "What the hell have I done?" See how wonderfully simplistic and understandable. And honest too.

tizzi

[FirstSunday33ad]

Today @ 01:11 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=94337#post94337)
tizzidale:

My God has written a thoroughly understandable revelation to man about man. . .

It simply reads, "What the hell have I done?" See how wonderfully simplistic and understandable. And honest too.

tizzi

This only shows how weak your god really is. It creates and then is mystified by its own creation. It asks (who?) "what have I done?" Clearly it can not foresee the consequences of its own actions.

It sounds more like a teenager than a god.

Sorry, your god loses. :lol:

[$cirisme]

It sounds more like a teenager than a god.

Complete with language, too! The only thing it needs to do, misspell every other word, lowercase the "I", and throw in some |-|4X0r to make the transformation complete.

:lol:

[Rusty T]

My God weak?! How dare you! I can't believe you just said that. How utterly offensive. . . He forgives you though.
You know not what you do.

See, as your God mucked everything up and blames mankind - my God is utterly depressed about his muck-making. In my opinion - a much better perspective for an almighty being to have.

tizzi

[Ryokan]

mine plays football

[FirstSunday33ad]

Today @ 02:16 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=94437#post94437)
tizzidale:

My God weak?! How dare you! I can't believe you just said that. How utterly offensive. . . He forgives you though.
You know not what you do.

See, as your God mucked everything up and blames mankind - my God is utterly depressed about his muck-making. In my opinion - a much better perspective for an almighty being to have.

tizzi

You mean "as man mucked everything up and blamed God, don't you?" :huh:

Besides, your depressed god is hardly "better" if he can't even create without mucking things up. Sounds like you god is a bit of a :dufus:.

[Rusty T]

I didn't say he was a perfect God, just better than yours. . .

tizzi

[jpholding]

Tizz,

Does your god offer t-shirts and mugs?

[Rusty T]

Yeah, he has t-shirts that say, "Me Big Chief, You Little Indian."

tizzi

[Sher]

Yesterday @ 12:49 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=94311#post94311)
yxboom:

No it can't!

::::whoosh:::: goes this joke over everyone's head ...

[Solly]

How old are you Sher?

Tizzi, does this mean that your god creats the worst possible of all worlds, or does he issue patches every so often, like Microsoft.

[FirstSunday33ad]

Today @ 09:44 AM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=95173#post95173)
Solly:

How old are you Sher?

Tizzi, does this mean that your god creats the worst possible of all worlds, or does he issue patches every so often, like Microsoft.

:lol:

Tizzie's god is even worse the MicroSoft.

He's not perfect, a teenager, depressed, mucks things up and doesn't understand why it does the things it does.

That isn't a god, its a candidate for rehab.

[Solly]

Hello

I want to speak to you today about a very needy subject. Someone who has trouble just getting through the day.

This person needs your help.

He is Tizzidale's god.

Please send what help you can to:

GODISNOWHERE AVE
Centre of the universe Ville
Reality 12850-1500

Thank you.

[Rusty T]

You guys have really hurt my God's feelings. He was a little angry earlier, but I believe his yoga calmed him down. Perhaps if your God tried some of that he wouldn't need to kill so many people. Perhaps my God and your God can get together sometime.

Well, my God admits to his errors. He shakes his head sometimes and laughs, and laughs. . . and then weeps. He understands he mucked everything up, but against your God's urgings ("Dude, just blame it on the humans! It's easy!) he's just gonna step up and take responsibility.

And rehab! Don't let me get started. Jehovah said, "Come on, you'll enjoy it. I get to blame everything on my mother anyway." Well, my God went, but got stuck on the first step. . . . something about "We admit we are powerless over our creation--- that our creation has become unmanageable"

And speaking of patches. . . Jesus v1.0 didn't work so well for your God, so I hear he's coming up with v1.2 in beta this summer.

tizzi

[FirstSunday33ad]

Today @ 12:24 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=95314#post95314)
tizzidale:

You guys have really hurt my God's feelings. He was a little angry earlier, but I believe his yoga calmed him down. Perhaps if your God tried some of that he wouldn't need to kill so many people. Perhaps my God and your God can get together sometime.

Well, my God admits to his errors. He shakes his head sometimes and laughs, and laughs. . . and then weeps. He understands he mucked everything up, but against your God's urgings ("Dude, just blame it on the humans! It's easy!) he's just gonna step up and take responsibility.

And rehab! Don't let me get started. Jehovah said, "Come on, you'll enjoy it. I get to blame everything on my mother anyway." Well, my God went, but got stuck on the first step. . . . something about "We admit we are powerless over our creation--- that our creation has become unmanageable"

And speaking of patches. . . Jesus v1.0 didn't work so well for your God, so I hear he's coming up with v1.2 in beta this summer.

tizzi

Poor little guy, all those internal doubts and contradictions, and we go and make fun of him.

Tell him that the true God - you know, the Father, Son & Holy Ghost - loves everyone, even those with inflated opinions of themselves. Tell him, that even though he is incapable of making it through this world on his own, there is Someone to help him. Tell him that if he accepts Christ as his saviour, admits his sins, repents of his pride and follows the Lord, he too will know the peace that passes understanding.

Tell him not to give up hope; there is mercy for all - even him. All he needs do is reach out and take it.

[Rusty T]

Now why did you have to go and do that for? It wasn't enough that he was depressed, was it? Inflated opinions? "There are no other Gods, before me?" Now that really teed off my God - but deep breathing usually helps.

tizzi

[jpholding]

If it makes him feel better I'll order 3 t shirts. 2 extra large and one that will fit my poodle.

[Rusty T]

Sorry, poodles are one of his deepest regrets. . . .

[jpholding]

They shouldn't be. Why? Did one bite him?

Did he also forget that poodles and other modern dogs are products of human breeding? :huh:

I'm not sure I want that t shirt now. I may order it and get a bowl of guacamole delivered. :eww:

[Rusty T]

Well, of course he realizes poodles are the result of breeding, but he does feel indirectly responsible. You know . . . how your God is indirectly responsible for all the suffering that "man" has created. But at least my God feels bad about those poodles.


Now guacamole he's proud of.

tizzi

[jpholding]

Today @ 05:41 AM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=95786#post95786)
tizzidale:

Well, of course he realizes poodles are the result of breeding, but he does feel indirectly responsible. You know . . . how your God is indirectly responsible for all the suffering that "man" has created. But at least my God feels bad about those poodles.


Now guacamole he's proud of.



I'm sorry, but I cannot worship a god who is so indifferent to poodles. My selfish needs are far more important. :eww:

[Solly]

I dunno though, JP, he might have something there....:poke:

[Rusty T]

My God said it's okay if you don't worship Him . . . he doesn't get his jollies from human genuflection.

tizzi

[jpholding]

Today @ 03:26 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=96061#post96061)
Solly:

I dunno though, JP, he might have something there....:poke:

Is it contagious? :whack: Be nice. Toby is sick today.

Tizz, what does your god get jollies from? It isn't Grade B movies starring Ronald Reagan, is it?

[dublczek]

The problem with being a god is that you have no one to pray to. - Terry Pratchett -

[Rusty T]

Tizz, what does your god get jollies from?

Well, He usually just reads your posts for a good laugh . . . nah, just kidding there. He really REALLY likes to read the Left Behind series. I think he even has read into the future the next 20 books.

tizzi

[jpholding]

Today @ 12:10 AM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=96713#post96713)
tizzidale:



Well, He usually just reads your posts for a good laugh . . . nah, just kidding there. He really REALLY likes to read the Left Behind series. I think he even has read into the future the next 20 books.

tizzi

My posts ARE funny. :huh: Well, your god and I do agree on the Grab Your Left Behind books. As a preterist I find them theologically goofy. As a lit major I find them worthy of use for my poodle's bathroom breaks. :eww:

[Rusty T]

JP
My posts ARE funny. :huh: Well, your god and I do agree on the Grab Your Left Behind books. As a preterist I find them theologically goofy. As a lit major I find them worthy of use for my poodle's bathroom breaks. :eww:

Funny "Ha, ha?"or funny queer? Sorry, my God told me to ask you that. Now's He snickering in my ear. He's wierd sometimes. But at least He's not as easy to piss off as Jehovah - otherwise I couldn't give Him wedgies all the time.

tizzi

[Warcraft3]

Today @ 11:24 AM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=97384#post97384)
jpholding:



[quote]My posts ARE funny.

I must admit I do often find JPs stuff to be humorous.

And you really have to love the flaming between Till and Holding also. Its good stuff.


Russ

[Sher]

05-13-2003 @ 09:44 AM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=95173#post95173)
Solly:

How old are you Sher?

Thirty-something :teeth: ... but what does that have to do with everyone apparently missing Boom's joke linked to this song ...

ARTIST: Irving Berlin
TITLE: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
[From Annie Get Your Gun]

I'm superior, you're inferior
I'm the big attraction, you're the small
I'm the major one, you're the minor one
I can beat you shootin', that's not all

[Chorus]
Anything you can do, I can do better
I can do any thing better than you
No you can't, Yes I can, No you can't
Yes I can, No you can't, Yes I can, yes I can

http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/anything.htm

[Rusty T]

I got the reference to the song, but I didn't think it was a joke. Sorry. I thought you had some insight I didn't have - now I feel better about myself.

tizzi