write me a cow poem (AKA semmie's spam thread)

[semmie]

that's right.

write me a cow poem.

five pearls to the most original!

[themuzicman]

Producing beverage that's divine,
Is the beloved bovine.
If you really want to know how,
You'll have to ask your friend, the cow.

[semmie]

:lol:

[Xavier]

Moo moo moooo moo,
Mooo moo moo-moo,
Mooooooo Moo Moo.

Moo moo moo moo,
Mooo moo moo,
Moooooooo Moo!

[themuzicman]

I bet you put a lot of thought into that, didn't you, X... :doh:

[Xavier]

Well actually... I tired to balance the various cow noises through the poem.

Basically, I wanted different amounts of OO sounds while maintaining a poem-like structure...

:hehe:

[themuzicman]

:ahem:

[semmie]

Moo moo moooo moo,
Mooo moo moo-moo,
Mooooooo Moo Moo.

Moo moo moo moo,
Mooo moo moo,
Moooooooo Moo!
:lmbo:

i dunno, muz...that was pretty good.

[sylas]

write me a cow poem.

five pearls to the most original!

I don't think you can send pearls to Gary Larson; but this thread would be incomplete without this cow poem.


Distant Hills

The distant hills call to me.
Their rolling waves seduce my heart.
Oh, how I want to graze in their lush valleys.
Oh, how I want to run down their green slopes.
Alas, I cannot.
Damn the electric fence! Damn the electric fence!


sorry sylas that word is not allowed

[semmie]

:lol: i've read that before! i love it! thanks, sylas!

[Teallaura]

...A...A
.cow of
..such..very
...........very great cowness, found::
...........in only the greatest of cows::
...........oh the joy to know such fine .::
............beauty and the grace that.... ::
............is the..............joy of an .......::
.............ode................bovine ..........::
.............too.................fine ............::
...............is...................mine ..........()
...............O,...................cow ...........
..............O...................cow!

[Dracula Girl]

...A...A
.cow of
..such..very
...........very great cowness, found::
...........in only the greatest of cows::
...........oh the joy to know such fine .::
............beauty and the grace that.... ::
............is the..............joy of an .......::
.............ode................bovine ..........::
.............too.................fine ............::
...............is...................mine ..........()
...............O,...................cow ...........
..............O...................cow!
This one totally deserves some pearls.

[semmie]

is that it? no one else wants to write me a cow poem?

[themuzicman]

Can we do more than one>?

[semmie]

sure!

[wfaber]

There was an old cow by the bay
who got more depressed day by day
'til she held her head high
and looked up to the sky
and let the chips fall where they may.

[semmie]

very nice. :smile:

[One Bad Pig]

contemplative
ornery
wistful

[semmie]

:teeth:

[themuzicman]

headline: Pig serenades cow.

[semmie]

:hehe:

[Swardus]

There she stood in the dairy,
Being so awfully contrary,
She was not contented
when the farmer lamented
"I'll guess I'll have you medium rarey."

[semmie]

:stunned:

well! i know who's NOT winning the pearls! :wink:

[mossrose]

This is not mine, I learned it when I was a little girl, a very long time ago, don't know who thought it up. My great-aunt gave me a little porcelain purple cow, and I still have it, and I think she taught me the poem.

"I've never seen a purple cow,
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you here and now,
I'd rather see than be one."

I guess I used to think that was totally hilarious. Go figure.

:hehe:

[semmie]

:lol:

thanks, moss! i like that.

[Sacrificial Ram]

I like Ogdan Nash'es

A cow is of bovine ilk. One end the moo, the other the milk.

[themuzicman]

"Cow judges to be most attractive animal to other species. Pig, Ram serenade Cows. News at 11."

[Xavier]

I've never seen a purple cow

I have... There's a local sandwich shop called the Purple Cow and there's a giant out in front... :teeth:

I'll take a picture if I rememeber next time I'm by there.

[mossrose]

I have... There's a local sandwich shop called the Purple Cow and there's a giant out in front... :teeth:

I'll take a picture if I rememeber next time I'm by there.
:lol:

Weird southerners.....

[Xavier]

:teeth:

[Ice Angel]

Cows are so very lovely
I bet they have a better life than me.
To graze in the green green grass all day
How lovely it is to lay in the pastures or hay!

It's so great to hear
A cow coming near
And wonderful to teach the little ones
To MMMMMOOO so clear!

How lovely it is to be a bovine dear!

[themuzicman]

"Cows feel the love from above... News at 6"

[Swardus]

A gentle lady of the pasture
Standing in a sea of grass,
Raising her head, she turns to gaze
towards Bethlehem Road where strangers pass.


As twilight yields to evening's urging,
This lady retires to her simple abode.
Little did she know she'd witness
The greatest story ever to unfold.


This gentle lady of the stable
Welcomes in her weary guests,
Yielding to them hay and manger.
A Child is born! You know the rest.


So who is this observer, so meek and low,
Blessed by our Lord's coming? A humble cow.

I promised you a better poem...no pearls required. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[One Bad Pig]

That was good. :thumb:

[semmie]

you guys are awesome...

[Teallaura]

Wow, Swardus, really good...:thumb:






No fair having a pro compete! :brood:

[Swardus]

Thank you for your comments! Sorry, but I'm not a professional. I have some copyrighted (secular) songs that are two decades old, but that's as far as I ever gotwith them.

[semmie]

this is a hard decision.

i might have to get someone else to judge...

[One Bad Pig]

I suggest :rtt:.

[semmie]

alright, folks, the results are in!!

as suggested by piggy, i asked rumtumtugger to make the final decision since i am too fond of cows to choose between any of these fine poems (and yes, they are all wonderful poems).

and the winner...based on originality and content...is...

...

(drumroll, please)

...

SWARDUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

congrats. :teeth:

[One Bad Pig]

:woohoo: Congratulations, Swardus!

[RumTumTugger]

And it was a tough decision but I could only go with one.

Wonderful poems everyone. Well done :thumb:

[Dracula Girl]

Disclaimer: No actual cows were harmed in the cooking up of this poem.

Buttercup the cow
Always so high brow
She gave a strong kick
And her skin was thick

When day had begun
She stood in the sun
By the big branch
On the old ranch

Back in the days
After her graze
In steak we’d delight
Eating well that night

[semmiesbrothers]

roses are red, cows are stinky, i held in a fart, with my pinky

[semmie]

do NOT type another poem, jeremiah

[semmiesbrothers]

cows, cows the magical meat, the more you eat, the better the treat, if you die before you finish, at least you had a good meal!

[semmie]

:whack:

hush, jer

[semmiesbrothers]

now i sit me down to eat, i pray oh lord you'll bless this meat, if it's rancid, or even rotten, i pray oh lord. i won't be forgotten. for as i eat, this delicious meat, i feel more alive, now get me the pie.

[semmie]

:no:

you're such a dork.

:hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

:ahem: Such a wonderful family you have.

[semmie]

you have no idea...

[One Bad Pig]

:lol:

[semmie]

:teeth:

[One Bad Pig]

:eh:

[semmie]

:flowers:

[One Bad Pig]

:demure:

[semmie]

:fencing:

[One Bad Pig]

:hug:

[semmie]

aww

:hug:

but i like the fencing smiley. :fencing:
it reminds me of the princess bride!

[One Bad Pig]

:fencing: It is a cool smilie. :yes:

[semmie]

i know. :teeth:

[One Bad Pig]

I got my grandparents to watch the Princess Bride when I visited them for Easter.

[semmie]

i remember you saying that. it's a good movie.

speaking of which, i watched Monty Python & the Holy Grail the other day...

[Taushina]

Cows cows
they're so yummy
Cows cows
they fill my tummy

Some are brown
some are black
some are brown and white
some are black and white

It doesn't really matter
because they're all
yummy....and they fill my tummy

their milk tastes pretty good too

mmmmm
the end thank you thank you

[semmie]

:lol:

good job, taushina!

[One Bad Pig]

i remember you saying that. it's a good movie.

speaking of which, i watched Monty Python & the Holy Grail the other day...
Also a good movie, which I haven't watched in far too long.

[semmie]

it was funny...i definitely laughed...but, it wasn't as good as i expected, to be honest.

[One Bad Pig]

I like British humour.

[semmie]

i liked the guy who got his arms and legs cut off...he was pretty funny.

[One Bad Pig]

:yes:

[semmie]

and the "ni" thing was hilarious...

[One Bad Pig]

I really like the plague scene (and the frenchmen).

[semmie]

hehe...yeah, the frenchmen were good.

[One Bad Pig]

The bridge was pretty good, too. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

[semmie]

hehe. yeah.

but other than it being funny, it was really stupid.

[One Bad Pig]

:no: Dumb and Dumber was really stupid.

[semmie]

yes, it was.

[Glenn P]

that's right.

write me a cow poem.

five pearls to the most original!There once was a cow called Ned.
We ate him and now he is dead.

[One Bad Pig]

I don't like all that many movies, actually.

[One Bad Pig]

There once was a cow called Ned.
We ate him and now he is dead.
:rofl:

[semmie]

:lmbo:

[semmie]

wait!

that was mean.

:brood:

[One Bad Pig]

:haha:

[semmie]

:tongue:

[One Bad Pig]

I think this thread needs a name change.

[Shema]

one cow,
two cow,
dead cow,
blue cow

[semmie]

shema-- :smile:

piggy-- what do you suggest?

[One Bad Pig]

cows are purple
cows are neat
waters burble
at my feet

hither smile!
hither laughter!
a country mile
hangs from the rafter.

[semmie]

:thumb:

you guys all rock...with your poetry.

i don't really write anymore. i couldn't rhyme with "cow" or "udder" or "moo" if my life depended on it. :tongue:

[One Bad Pig]

shema-- :smile:

piggy-- what do you suggest?
I would just add "AKA semmie's spam thread"

[semmie]

okie dokie

[One Bad Pig]

okie dokie
:thumb:

[semmie]

thanks, piggy.

i think i have to go soon. :frown:

[Xavier]

Bummer

[One Bad Pig]

'sokay. I gotta go to sleep soon as well.

[semmie]

major bummer.

i was just about to kick y'alls butts in these last poster threads. :tongue:

[Shema]

Cows are black,
Cows are white,
Cows are fun to tip at night

[One Bad Pig]

:thumb: Good one!

[Xavier]

:hehe:

[semmie]

:lmbo:

that was good!

actually, i think that's my favorite of all the cow poems.

[Xavier]

:frown:... It's not even in Cow.

[Shema]

Cows taste very good
Cook a cow on a skillet
Yum cow, nourish me

(Cow Haiku)

[Shema]

(Cow limerick)

There once was a cow from nantucket...

nahh..

[semmie]

:frown:... It's not even in Cow.
:hug:

i'm sorry. yours was the best poem in cow.

[One Bad Pig]

:cow:

[semmie]

moo

[Xavier]

:hug:

i'm sorry. yours was the best poem in cow.
:teeth:

:wink:

[One Bad Pig]

:sheepdog:

[Xavier]

:jezz:

[One Bad Pig]

:xavier:

[semmie]

moo

[Swardus]

You moo to who,too?

[semmie]

right. exactly.

[One Bad Pig]

Moo.
Moooo?
MooOOoo!
MOOoo.
Moo.

[semmie]

:yes:

now you've got it, piggy!!

[One Bad Pig]

:woohoo:

[semmie]

:yipee:

[One Bad Pig]

:highfive:

[semmie]

:flowers:

[ATizzle]

good job taushina you're the best

[semmie]

hi ATizz...welcome to Tweb!

you gonna try your hand at the cow poetry? :cow:

[One Bad Pig]

:cow:

[semmie]

mooOOOOOoooo

[One Bad Pig]

:woohoo: The cowgirl's back!

[Glenn P]

Mary had a little cow, her father shot it dead.
It followed her to school the next day, between two slices of bread.

[One Bad Pig]

:twitch:

[Glenn P]

OBP, why do I get the feeling this thread is just your avenue to use every smilie that you possibly can?

[semmie]

:stunned:

:lol:

[One Bad Pig]

OBP, why do I get the feeling this thread is just your avenue to use every smilie that you possibly can?
:hrm:

[semmie]

:hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

:hairxmm:

[semmie]

:lol:

[One Bad Pig]

:bonk:

[semmie]

:lmbo:

[One Bad Pig]

I forgot I had some of these smilies. :hehe:

:twister:

[Arnold]

The tractor went pow so the cow pulled the plow and the sow went wow!


As told by the cat - meow!

[semmie]

:hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

:inquisition:

[semmie]

:hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

:chomp:

[semmie]

HA!!

i like that one!

[One Bad Pig]

:cool: I got that one from :luv:

[semmie]

she's got good taste. :teeth:

[One Bad Pig]

:princess:

[semmie]

right.

[One Bad Pig]

I thought so.

[Arnold]

Oh moo me a blue moon tune about the cup running off with a spoon.


As sung by the cow - moo!

[semmie]

arnold! :smile:

this is awesome.

[One Bad Pig]

oom ooooom oom oom ooooooooooooooom oom

[semmie]

dyslexic are we? :smile:

[Arnold]

Lol!

[semmie]

:hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

dyslexic are we? :smile:
:no: I was trying to write cow country music. :frown: It seemed funny at the time.

[Arnold]

Country music - the white man's blues - or the cow's blue moos.

[One Bad Pig]

:cow::poke:
:cow::girl:

[semmie]

cow poke eye?
cow girl?

[Arnold]

cow poke eye?
cow girl?

Oh now I get it. :ahem:

(I'm about as swift as a dairy cow before the morning milking...)

[Glenn P]

There once was a cow called Blake
He made a delicious steak

[Arnold]

Ymmmm!

[One Bad Pig]

cow poke eye?
cow girl?
:no: Close. cow poke.

[semmie]

There once was a cow called Blake
He made a delicious steak
:glare:

[Arnold]

I don't think semmie likes steak Theonomy. Maybe BBQ'ed ribs...

Mmmmmm...

[semmie]

ooooh....actually, i do like bbq ribs...

and i'm not fond of steak, though once in a great while i crave it.

don't ever repeat any of this, arnold...:glare:

[One Bad Pig]

*takes notes*

[semmie]

:uhoh:

[Glenn P]

Cows are great, cows are neat
Cows are yummy 'cos they're made of MEAT

[One Bad Pig]

:uhoh:
:hehe:

[semmie]

Cows are great, cows are neat
Cows are yummy 'cos they're made of MEAT
:lmbo:

you're gonna get yourself in trouble...you'll have a cow riot on your hands, and you won't know what to do...

and i'll just laugh. :hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

:lol:

[Arnold]

ooooh....actually, i do like bbq ribs...

and i'm not fond of steak, though once in a great while i crave it.

don't ever repeat any of this, arnold...:glare:

Never heard a word... :whistle:

[One Bad Pig]

:cow:
:cow:
:cow:

[semmie]

what the heck...?

[Arnold]

It's a cow highway, commonly known as a cowway - toll = one moo...

[One Bad Pig]

Fun with cows. :hehe:

[Glenn P]

There once was a cow called Daisy
We ate her because she was lazy

There once was a cow called Vince
We ground him up into beef mince

There once was a cow called Bill
He made a nice BBQ grill

There once was a cow called one bad pig
We bashed him to death and then chopped up his carcass into little pieces and hid him in the walls. We can still hear his mournfull moo at midnight.

[semmie]

There once was a cow called one bad pig
We bashed him to death and then chopped up his carcass into little pieces and hid him in the walls. We can still hear his mournfull moo at midnight.
:lmbo::woohoo:

[Arnold]

Lol!

[One Bad Pig]

There once was a cow called Daisy
We ate her because she was lazy

There once was a cow called Vince
We ground him up into beef mince

There once was a cow called Bill
He made a nice BBQ grill

There once was a cow called one bad pig
We bashed him to death and then chopped up his carcass into little pieces and hid him in the walls. We can still hear his mournfull moo at midnight.
:eww: The Vogons write better poetry than that!

[Glenn P]

But can the vogons do THIS? :b_bow:

[semmie]

:cow:

[One Bad Pig]

But can the vogons do THIS? :b_bow:
:no: The Vogons can vaporise your post to make way for an interweb highway, though. :hehe:

[semmie]

:broccoli:

(i'm going to win)

[One Bad Pig]

:cow:

[semmie]

:cow:

[One Bad Pig]

:cow:

[semmie]

:cow:

[One Bad Pig]

:cow:

[semmie]

look at the cool new trick i learned:


:cow:

[One Bad Pig]

:cool:

[Arnold]

Mooo-cool

[One Bad Pig]

Where there's a will, there's a way.
Where there's a cow, there's a milkmaid.

[Arnold]

Or a milking machine.

[One Bad Pig]

milkmaids are better.

[semmie]

i want a bumper sticker that says:

STOP SEXUAL HARASSMENT
don't milk cows

[Arnold]

Did the cow tell you that - or the milkmaid?

[Arnold]

i want a bumper sticker that says:

STOP SEXUAL HARASSMENT
don't milk cows

I think that is udderly ridiculous!

[One Bad Pig]

i want a bumper sticker that says:

STOP SEXUAL HARASSMENT
don't milk cows
:lol:

[semmie]

the actual quote is more blunt than this...but i don't think i need to say it in the presence of so many fellas...

[One Bad Pig]

:hrm:

[semmie]

:shrug:

[Arnold]

It doesn't have to be mooore blunt - I'm cowed already.

[One Bad Pig]

:doh:

[semmie]

:ahem:

[One Bad Pig]

cow
cowing
cowed

[Arnold]

Cow-pie - watch your step...

[semmie]

cow

[One Bad Pig]

Cow-pie - watch your step...
Thanks

[semmie]

someday cows will rule the world

[Ice Angel]

Wow....look at all the cow puns.

[semmie]

when cows rule the world, cow puns will be illegal

[One Bad Pig]

That would be cowardly of them.

[semmie]

:glare:

we'll come up with a special punishment just for you, piggy...

[One Bad Pig]

:rofl:

[semmie]

jenn (ice angel) says we'll make you clean up all the cow dung... :tongue:

[One Bad Pig]

:brood:

[semmie]

:lol:

sorry...she's the boss, piggy

[One Bad Pig]

:eh: It's your thread.

[Ice Angel]

I'm the boss!!!!???!?!?!
*Evil laugh and evil grin*
Better get on my good side Sr. Pig.....otherwise you'll be cleanin cow dun with your hand!
MMMMwwwwwaaaaahhhhhhh!

[semmie]

but...uh...she's psycho.

[Arnold]

That's psycow.

[semmie]

:no:

ice angel is not allowed to participate in cow events--not even puns. please refrain from doing so, or in the future, you will be banned from the cow kingdom.

[One Bad Pig]

:whew:

[semmie]

:yes:

so behave.

[One Bad Pig]

:ponder:

[semmie]

:whip:

[One Bad Pig]

:egad:

[semmie]

:hehe:

[One Bad Pig]

:bow:

[semmie]

:thumb:

[One Bad Pig]

:uneasy:

[semmie]

:violin:

[Ice Angel]

How many ppl are gonna have to be reported to The Great Glop Cow for bad cow puns?

[One Bad Pig]

I feel odd bowing to a faceless cow.

[semmie]

jenn--lots.

pig--we've got a shovel for you.

[One Bad Pig]

Why not let it decompose in place?

[Ice Angel]

No shovel.....he has to use his hands!

[semmie]

that's really cruel, jenn.

piggy...you'd better get on her good side, or you'll be doomed when the cows take over...

[One Bad Pig]

She has a good side?

[semmie]

:stunned:

uh oh! hahahaha! wait until jenn reads that!!!

[Ice Angel]

I have many good sides.
Especially considering the other 6 personalities I have.

[semmie]

:no:

don't laugh...she's not joking...

[One Bad Pig]

I have many good sides.
Especially considering the other 6 personalities I have.
Only 6?

[semmie]

oh dear...:no:...

[Ice Angel]

Well...the counsil is made up of 6 ppl.
So...if you count me...I have 7.

[One Bad Pig]

:shrug: I am :ddw: (along with the rest of the leadership team) :hehe:

[semmie]

you guys both need help.

[One Bad Pig]

:smug:

[Ice Angel]

You mean like dating service help?

[One Bad Pig]

Dating? What's that?

[Ice Angel]

Oh how I miss dating. Goin out with a guy, hanging out and having fun. But I miss the cuddling, snuggling, and kissing more though. =(