JardinPrayer
May 26th 2003, 03:26 PM
I'd like to share an experience I recently had and invite the rest of you to comment on it and/or share similar experiences.
The term "angel" means messenger of God. I believe that can take a number of forms. I've never met anyone who has seen a glowing fellow with wings appear before them, so my guess is that God isn't using that form at the moment. :angel:
Recently, however, I believe I encountered an angel. I suffer from borderline bi-bolar disorder. That is to say I'm prone to deep depressions when not on medication and don't really go all the way to manic on the other end of the scale. Once a depressive episode kicks in, it can take days for my brain chemistry to regulate and for me not to feel hopeless again.
I had joined my church choir and was in training for about 6 weeks. We have hundreds of songs and I had to learn the alto part to the 30 - 40 most popular. Easter Sunday was the first time I was privileged to minster to our congregation in this manner.
We are often taught in my church that we should expect enemy attacks whenever we do something for God. Easter night, the episode kicked in as a result of a rare and fierce arguement with my husband. That entire week after Easter was dominated by lots of sleeping, lots of crying, and lots of doubt things would ever get better. Then came the following Friday - the next time I was expected to stand on the platform and sing. I could not imagine doing it...I was certian I would get up there and just burst into tears...something I didn't want to do in front of the 500-800 people that show up for our Friday night services. I didn't even pray that week...I thought the depression itself was such a sin, God would not listen. Brain chemistry can be an amazing thing.
I had been in Christian chat on Yahoo! a few times and had given it up almost 2 years ago because of the inane converations and overly-judgemental population ("You're not a a 'fundie' or a 'penty' are you? 'Cause they're not welcome in this room") The only reason I can possibly image for going there that Friday afternoon was God moving in my life. I went into the first room and found the usual nonsense. With a sigh, I went to a second. Same thing. I decided the third room would be the deciding factor on whether or not I would stay.
There, I found mature individuals who were willing to carry on a cohesive conversation and offer support. In particular was a person who used the handle "goinghome2soon." I talked about my feeling of utter hopelessness and how I had even sat in front of a bottle of liquor and another bottle of pills two night before wondering why I didn't consume them both and experience sweet escape from the misery. She came back and said she was dying of cancer and had 4 months left. She was saved one month ago when her mother walked in on her contemplating the same fate I had described. her mother said to her, "Don't you think if God gave you 4 months, you should use them?" She received Jesus that night and decided the remainder of her time would be used in His service.
This woman told me she had no depression, anger, or fear about dying, so I should not either. She offered the perfect scripture for my situation and suggested I use it to pray before singing in church that night. Her words came across gentle, caring, perfectly appropriate...angelic. A couple of other chat voices echoed her supportive voice, but hers came through the loudest.
When the chat had wound down and I felt better and ready to pray, this woman sent me a PM and told me something that absolutely knocked my socks off. She was 15 years old! The maturity in her words would never have betrayed that. She added me to her buddy list but, for some technical reason we could not figure out, I could not add her to mine. Yahoo! said she did not have a Yahoo! account...impossible if you're chatting and using the instant messenger. (By the way, I was able to pray right after that, I sang with all my heart that night, and participated in the altar call that night, which happened to be fore people with feelings of hopelessness.)
I invited her to post her testimony on my Christian website and the next day, she emailed it to me - beautifully written without a single typo. I posted it the next day, but couldn't email her to let her know because, mysteriously, the email address she sent it from would not accept delivery.
Two nights later, she IMed me and we arranged an alternate email address. We had a lovely little chat with her mother standing nearby offering her thanks for posting the testimony. My angel was lively, energetic, positive and looking forward to the next 4 months.
Three days later, she sent a short email saying she was on her way to the doctor to find out how close the cancer was to consuming her heart. There was a somewhat more restrained (frightened, perhaps?) tone in her writing. The next day, another short email said she did not expect to be with us on earth much longer as her heart was in imminent danger. She said she was exhausted and in some pain and needed to rest.
I replied to that email asking her to pass my email address along to her mother with a request that she let me know when my angel passed. I felt very close to her and needed to know that. I did not receive a reply to that email. Four days later, I sent an email simply saying, "How are you, angel?" A week later, I received an email from her mother in response to that. She told me my angel had gone to be with God - 3 and a half months ahead of the expected time - not from the cancer, but from a pneumonia she was too weak to fight. I sat there and cried my eyes out for an hour. :bawl: Then, I began to realize that this wonderful and precious person had been exactly where I needed her to be at exactly the right moment. Then, she was gone. The thought carried a feeling of profound significance.
I honestly believe God used this brief life to touch hand-picked people. Her mother and I have begun a correspondence. My angel's father had been unsaved until he watched his daughter faithfully attend services and participate in church functions regardless of her pain or exhaustion. One day, he gave her a box to open. It contained a pair of men's shoes. When she looked at him for explanation, he said, "These are the shoes I'm going to wear when I go to church with you tonight." He accepted Jesus into his heart that night. My angel's parents have a 1-year-old son who will now be raised in a Christian household. Both parents may publish testimonies on my site as well.
I will always consider her a messenger of God. I feel her as a part of God when I pray sometimes...a distinct presence, tiny and huge at the same time. She is smiling...always.
Do you have an angel? Does this story evoke anything in you?
The term "angel" means messenger of God. I believe that can take a number of forms. I've never met anyone who has seen a glowing fellow with wings appear before them, so my guess is that God isn't using that form at the moment. :angel:
Recently, however, I believe I encountered an angel. I suffer from borderline bi-bolar disorder. That is to say I'm prone to deep depressions when not on medication and don't really go all the way to manic on the other end of the scale. Once a depressive episode kicks in, it can take days for my brain chemistry to regulate and for me not to feel hopeless again.
I had joined my church choir and was in training for about 6 weeks. We have hundreds of songs and I had to learn the alto part to the 30 - 40 most popular. Easter Sunday was the first time I was privileged to minster to our congregation in this manner.
We are often taught in my church that we should expect enemy attacks whenever we do something for God. Easter night, the episode kicked in as a result of a rare and fierce arguement with my husband. That entire week after Easter was dominated by lots of sleeping, lots of crying, and lots of doubt things would ever get better. Then came the following Friday - the next time I was expected to stand on the platform and sing. I could not imagine doing it...I was certian I would get up there and just burst into tears...something I didn't want to do in front of the 500-800 people that show up for our Friday night services. I didn't even pray that week...I thought the depression itself was such a sin, God would not listen. Brain chemistry can be an amazing thing.
I had been in Christian chat on Yahoo! a few times and had given it up almost 2 years ago because of the inane converations and overly-judgemental population ("You're not a a 'fundie' or a 'penty' are you? 'Cause they're not welcome in this room") The only reason I can possibly image for going there that Friday afternoon was God moving in my life. I went into the first room and found the usual nonsense. With a sigh, I went to a second. Same thing. I decided the third room would be the deciding factor on whether or not I would stay.
There, I found mature individuals who were willing to carry on a cohesive conversation and offer support. In particular was a person who used the handle "goinghome2soon." I talked about my feeling of utter hopelessness and how I had even sat in front of a bottle of liquor and another bottle of pills two night before wondering why I didn't consume them both and experience sweet escape from the misery. She came back and said she was dying of cancer and had 4 months left. She was saved one month ago when her mother walked in on her contemplating the same fate I had described. her mother said to her, "Don't you think if God gave you 4 months, you should use them?" She received Jesus that night and decided the remainder of her time would be used in His service.
This woman told me she had no depression, anger, or fear about dying, so I should not either. She offered the perfect scripture for my situation and suggested I use it to pray before singing in church that night. Her words came across gentle, caring, perfectly appropriate...angelic. A couple of other chat voices echoed her supportive voice, but hers came through the loudest.
When the chat had wound down and I felt better and ready to pray, this woman sent me a PM and told me something that absolutely knocked my socks off. She was 15 years old! The maturity in her words would never have betrayed that. She added me to her buddy list but, for some technical reason we could not figure out, I could not add her to mine. Yahoo! said she did not have a Yahoo! account...impossible if you're chatting and using the instant messenger. (By the way, I was able to pray right after that, I sang with all my heart that night, and participated in the altar call that night, which happened to be fore people with feelings of hopelessness.)
I invited her to post her testimony on my Christian website and the next day, she emailed it to me - beautifully written without a single typo. I posted it the next day, but couldn't email her to let her know because, mysteriously, the email address she sent it from would not accept delivery.
Two nights later, she IMed me and we arranged an alternate email address. We had a lovely little chat with her mother standing nearby offering her thanks for posting the testimony. My angel was lively, energetic, positive and looking forward to the next 4 months.
Three days later, she sent a short email saying she was on her way to the doctor to find out how close the cancer was to consuming her heart. There was a somewhat more restrained (frightened, perhaps?) tone in her writing. The next day, another short email said she did not expect to be with us on earth much longer as her heart was in imminent danger. She said she was exhausted and in some pain and needed to rest.
I replied to that email asking her to pass my email address along to her mother with a request that she let me know when my angel passed. I felt very close to her and needed to know that. I did not receive a reply to that email. Four days later, I sent an email simply saying, "How are you, angel?" A week later, I received an email from her mother in response to that. She told me my angel had gone to be with God - 3 and a half months ahead of the expected time - not from the cancer, but from a pneumonia she was too weak to fight. I sat there and cried my eyes out for an hour. :bawl: Then, I began to realize that this wonderful and precious person had been exactly where I needed her to be at exactly the right moment. Then, she was gone. The thought carried a feeling of profound significance.
I honestly believe God used this brief life to touch hand-picked people. Her mother and I have begun a correspondence. My angel's father had been unsaved until he watched his daughter faithfully attend services and participate in church functions regardless of her pain or exhaustion. One day, he gave her a box to open. It contained a pair of men's shoes. When she looked at him for explanation, he said, "These are the shoes I'm going to wear when I go to church with you tonight." He accepted Jesus into his heart that night. My angel's parents have a 1-year-old son who will now be raised in a Christian household. Both parents may publish testimonies on my site as well.
I will always consider her a messenger of God. I feel her as a part of God when I pray sometimes...a distinct presence, tiny and huge at the same time. She is smiling...always.
Do you have an angel? Does this story evoke anything in you?