"Mixed Marriage" and alike.

[Laughlyn]

'Afternoon all.

Had a discussion, recently, regarding one christian disowning his relationship with a nonbeliever. My initial reaction was quoting Paul (1 Cor. 7:14), and a fierce debate regarding the interpretation of that very verse was of course the result.

I got e-mails stating how "dangerous" it was for a christian, to be engaged in a relationship with people of other faiths, and was hammered with the notion that Paulus really meant church-sanctioned marriages, in which the believer was not to divorce the unbeliever. This of course begs the question how a nonbeliever would be engaged in such a relationship - but now I'm wondering how y'all see this issue.

Can a christian engage in a marital relationship with people of other faiths - and what do the Bible really teach of this?

[James Peter]

I don't see why a christian would want to be. Does being in such a relationship free you to have your entire life centered around Christ? The answer has to be a resounding 'no'. A Christian's life should be entirely based around and upon God and that isn't possible if your partner does not share your priorities and convictions. The same limitations apply in a relationship with a christian who is merely more worldly/less dedicated (however you want to spin it) than you. If the relationship is going to hinder your work for the Kingdom then its not a good idea.

The thrust of the passage that you bring up is dealing with existing relationships. If you convert to the faith then you shouldn't divorce your spouse because they won't also convert. Thats an entirely different kettle of fish to encouraging interfaith marriages.

[Laughlyn]

But if you are already involved in such a relationship, like the couple which triggered this discussion, and as I am myself, I would argue that the passage I cite, and those on the same topic would not support the christian part abandoning his/her other.

[nomad]

Definitely not.

The two prongs are: If you are already married, stay married. Period.
But if you are not married, and desire to be, marry a believer.

I do not think it is law, but it is certainly a good idea.

One other thing... according to 'the rise of christianity' (rodney stark), it wasn't unheard-of in the early days for a wife, especially upper class ones, to get saved, and then their husbands follow along later...

[Cowthulu]

Got to be a tough decision. I have a friend who is a non-practicing Muslim who is married to a Christian woman. They do a lot to honor the traditions of each other. In some ways though it seems like they treat their faiths as culture instead of religion.

[Darth Executor]

I'd say no. You can do it if you want but it's gonna cause a lot of trouble and if you do it, the trouble better be worth it.

[nyaminche]

The immediate Scripture that springs to mind is "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" II Cor 6:14.

Read this as you will, whether or not it is directly applicable as a command not to mix-marry, the imagery is extremely descriptive and very telling.

Christian marriage entails a degree of unity, support, and joint service to God that is just not possible in a mixed marriage. A mixed marriage is a yoke - a heavy burden that brings you down and , rather than supporting you, requires you to support it.

As DarthExecutor points out, you may be willing to bear this yoke. But it won't be easy and the burden won't be light.

Perhaps you might want to swing by the Naturalist forum and read (remember, theists can't post there) their thread on "Would you marry a Christian?".

The bottom line I got from it is that the one thing that Theists and non-Theists alike see eye to eye on is that strong, active faith and atheism are not compatable. Which, unsurprisingly, stacks right up with Scripture.

[Laughlyn]

The immediate Scripture that springs to mind is "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" II Cor 6:14.

Read this as you will, whether or not it is directly applicable as a command not to mix-marry, the imagery is extremely descriptive and very telling.

Christian marriage entails a degree of unity, support, and joint service to God that is just not possible in a mixed marriage. A mixed marriage is a yoke - a heavy burden that brings you down and , rather than supporting you, requires you to support it.

As DarthExecutor points out, you may be willing to bear this yoke. But it won't be easy and the burden won't be light.

Perhaps you might want to swing by the Naturalist forum and read (remember, theists can't post there) their thread on "Would you marry a Christian?".

The bottom line I got from it is that the one thing that Theists and non-Theists alike see eye to eye on is that strong, active faith and atheism are not compatable. Which, unsurprisingly, stacks right up with Scripture.

Thanks for your reply, a thoughtful one.
Still, it seems that there are no "thumb rules" for this issue; if the one disbelieving part in such a "mixed couple" shows sincere interest and respect for the other parts' faith, the yoke in question might just not be for very long. ;) Just a thought.

[James Peter]

Then why not wait until they are saved before entering into a romantic relationship with them Laughlyn? Why does being married make it more likely that they'd change their mind than simply being close friends with them?

[Laughlyn]

Then why not wait until they are saved before entering into a romantic relationship with them Laughlyn? Why does being married make it more likely that they'd change their mind than simply being close friends with them?
Well, not that it necessarily must change ones mind, but in a life long romantic relationship you tend to accept and somewhat adopt the other parts' worldview, so I guess it could of course work both ways - still, that has little to do with your question.

But I'd say you cannot always really choose this way. I for one had little choice, me and my fiancee stumbled into our relationship, and chose to be faithful to one another, with little regard to each others religious belief. And, to make this a personal issue indeed - :) - I cannot find it especially constructive to put such a relationship on "hold", and thus risking what has been built up, until the beliefs of the parts are aligned.

Thanks for your reply.

[James Peter]

Now that the situation is personal I hope that this doesn't seem like an attack but the two questions that spring to mind are:

1) Is it appropriate to 'stumble into' a relationship? I don't know exactly what you mean by the phrase but every possibility that comes to mind would be considered inappropriate in and of itself.

2) Is acting without regard to your own religious beliefs ever appropriate? Again, I'm not convinced.

Whilst its always a possibility that someone might change their beliefs when it comes to something as fundamental as the rest of your life I have to wonder why the relationship you have at the moment is considered so much more valuable than everything in the future that you may have to sacrifice to keep it.

[nyaminche]

Going back to your original passage (1 Cor 7) Laughlyn, I think it's useful to point a couple things out.

Firstly, Paul does not claim his advice to be "Gospel truth". He says that this is his own opinion/advice. Read that as you will, but I think that it should be a reminder that this is an opportunity to use discernment when acting in love. If there was one thing that was always right, Paul probably would have said it (as in verse 10).

As has been referred to earlier in this thread, Paul is definately talking about existing marriages and is referring to divorce. Marriage is sacred in God's eyes and breaking it (divorce) is a special issue.

What strikes me is the justification Paul provides for divorce, which under normal circumstances is not permitted (from the Lord (v.10,11)) in a marriage w/ a believer and a non-believer.
Paul says not to divorce... If if the non-Christian can agree to live together.
The time to break off the marriage that you are already in, is if they can't handle it.

You can't apply this wholesale to any kind of relationship, as marriage is quite different.

Well, not that it necessarily must change ones mind, but in a life long romantic relationship you tend to accept and somewhat adopt the other parts' worldview, so I guess it could of course work both ways - still, that has little to do with your question.


The decision to marry a non-Christian is different entirely. You speak the truth when you say that in a marriage you will tend to accept and somewhat adopt the other person's worldview. You may convert the other person, you may not.

They may cause you to lose your faith, or they may not.

Either way, how does this compare with finding someone with whom you can freely grow in understanding of God's plans and ways? Of his infinite love and grace?

If you believe the person you're in a relationship with will never change their beliefs, then you have to seriously consider the consequences of trying to live as one with them for the rest of your life.

James Peter makes a point which I agree with... If you believe that the person you're going to marry can truly change their beliefs, why not pray and wait until this change happens to become married?

It doesn't mean that you have to destroy anything. It probably does require quite a bit of patience, discretion and love. But God can provide that.

[Laughlyn]

Now that the situation is personal I hope that this doesn't seem like an attack but the two questions that spring to mind are:

1) Is it appropriate to 'stumble into' a relationship? I don't know exactly what you mean by the phrase but every possibility that comes to mind would be considered inappropriate in and of itself.

2) Is acting without regard to your own religious beliefs ever appropriate? Again, I'm not convinced.

Whilst its always a possibility that someone might change their beliefs when it comes to something as fundamental as the rest of your life I have to wonder why the relationship you have at the moment is considered so much more valuable than everything in the future that you may have to sacrifice to keep it.

Well, since english isn't my native language, I probably use terms in a slightly different manner than you normally expect - and therefore I seem to be vague and imprecise at best. By "stumbling" I simply mean an unplanned event, and thus, there hardly is any relationship you do not stumble into.

In any situation, when you relate to other people, befriend them and such, you rarely take regard to any religious beliefs in the early stages - at least that's my experience.

I thank you for your concern, of course - but the question is definitely not whether I consider this very relationship more important than the one with God, but rather what you are supposed to demand of your significant other in such a situation. I must conclude that there are few general guidelines for these things, and that if we keep hold of our faith, He is merciful.