New christians cleaning up there life

[shadrach]

Now, obviously Im very new to these forums, but I have a very important question; well, important to me.

My fiancee and I accepted Christ back in May. Now we have been living together since July of last year, long before we were saved. The wedding is tentatively planned for spring......Now are we truly just living against God's Will, or does he make provisions for situations from before you became a believer? There is a vast # fo reasons its just not vibale for us to split and then come back together when married, I just dont want to get into all of them right now. More than anything, I mean, Im 31 years old, there is NO way that I can fix 31 years fo mistakes in 2 months.

[yxboom]

Now, obviously Im very new to these forums, but I have a very important question; well, important to me.

My fiancee and I accepted Christ back in May. Now we have been living together since July of last year, long before we were saved. The wedding is tentatively planned for spring......Now are we truly just living against God's Will, or does he make provisions for situations from before you became a believer? There is a vast # fo reasons its just not vibale for us to split and then come back together when married, I just dont want to get into all of them right now. More than anything, I mean, Im 31 years old, there is NO way that I can fix 31 years fo mistakes in 2 months.
wouldnt the simple solution be, get a license from the state and hold the ceremony in Spring?

[wfaber]

It's hard to give advice on just the information you gave. Have you thought of getting married now, but still having an official ceremony later?

[bar Jonah]

Shadrach, holding a ceremony doesn't make you married in God's eyes.

If the two of you are life-committed, and you have consummated your relationship, then as far as I can tell, biblically, you are married.

Now, whether you ahve a marriage ceremony or not, if you two split and have "relations" with someone else, then regardless of a ceremony or not, you would have committed adultery at that point.

But at this point, you are life-committed, and your marriage is consummated. I see no basis in scripture for saying that you must have a ceremony at this point. I definitely think you should! You don't want to be a stumbling block to others! But are you required to, biblically? Not really, no. Heck, are you considered "common law" married?

I'm all for not having sex until the marriage ceremony today, btw. For one thing, the appearance of impropriety, which is nothing to sneeze at. However, you are already committed and consummated. The marriage ceremony is a celebration of that union. Not the true start of that union. You're already "one flesh" as it says in Genesis, are you not?

[Meat Matrixed]

:wink: THEIR lives, not THERE lives. :wink: They're putting their shoes over there. :wink:

[furay]

Is it really necessary to quibble over petty things like grammer or spelling, when this man is baring his soul? A little tact can go a long ways.

shadrach: I'm afraid I have no answers for you, but I will pray. Have you talked to your Priest (or Pastor, etc. depending on what tradition you're coming from) about it? That would be my only advice... to consult with him. Take care.

:wink: THEIR lives, not THERE lives. :wink: They're putting their shoes over there. :wink:

[wfaber]

Is it really necessary to quibble over petty things like grammer or spelling. . . .
NO!!! MUST . . . RESIST . . . URGE . . . . DON'T . . . SAY . . . IT. . .
You misspelled "grammar."

[Zxcv Bnm]

Now, obviously Im very new to these forums, but I have a very important question; well, important to me.

My fiancee and I accepted Christ back in May. Now we have been living together since July of last year, long before we were saved. The wedding is tentatively planned for spring......Now are we truly just living against God's Will, or does he make provisions for situations from before you became a believer? There is a vast # fo reasons its just not vibale for us to split and then come back together when married, I just dont want to get into all of them right now. More than anything, I mean, Im 31 years old, there is NO way that I can fix 31 years fo mistakes in 2 months.First of all, there is a biblical distinction between marriage and sex. Having sex does not make you married.

Second, if you are serious about your new relationship with God, then it's time to review your relationship with your fiancee--in other words, if you're still having sex, then stop! This is good for at least two reasons: 1. It lets you and your fiancee know that you both indeed have a desire above all else to live a life pleasing to the Lord. 2. It will build trust between you and your fiancee that will be critically important when you are together in marriage.

Also, take time with your fiancee to pray together. Pray for each other, with each other, to God, that He will give you strength, wisdom, and courage to live God-honoring lives, both now and after you become married.

Third, consider carefully your reasons for not splitting, then coming back together when married. Whatever they are, the inconvenience and hassle of this will be easy compared to the trouble you will have in your marriage later if you give in to the temptation to continue in pre-marital sex now. Although continuing to live together (dwelling) in the same house may not be a sin, it will likely cause temptation that will be difficult to resist.

Finally, in fixing 31 years of mistakes, you've made a good start by accepting Christ. Sin separated us from God, but Christ, by his death and resurrection, restores our relationship to God. Through Jesus Christ there is forgiveness of our mistakes, and he then enables us to live our lives in a way that pleases God.

You may find it helpful to spend some time every day in reading the word of God (the bible) and in prayer. Start small, just a few minutes a day, until it becomes habit. The benefits of this are great: 1. builds your relationship with the Lord, in spending time together with him. 2. helps keep your mind on things that are good and pure. 3. you discover the will of God for your life--how to live a holy life, pleasing to God. 4. And encourages you trust God, even (especially) when things start to feel hopeless.

It's also helpful to find other Christians that you can trust, to whom you can hold yourself accountable. Pray for them, and let them pray for you.

My heart is filled with joy that you and your fiancee have accepted Christ, and that you desire to please God in what you do. I pray that you both continue and grow in the faith.

[shadrach]

Thanks so much for the advice and encouragement. Marriage was the issue I was worried about not sex; that we already know about. There is just some financial hurdles we have to cross for the wedding plans. We are actually anxious to get it done, so that we can truly be a family.