Anyone else OCD in anyway relate?

[Shadow Phoenix]

Thursday, I'm at the Wal-Mart I work at. I had put a game on hold and paid $5 down and had a receipt on a card to show I had, but lo and behold, something happened and the receipt is missing. My Mom handled it last so I kind of suspect she accidentally did something with it.

They accepted it anyhow since I was the only one who did that and I got my game and I called the lady who gave the Okay to give my thanks. However, just out of the blue, I started wondering, "What if you really didn't get a receipt? What if you really were wrong and were a thief?"

Now notice this, I have no reason to be thinking something like this. I have no evidence that I was lying and I have all the evidence that I wasn't, such as the personal testimony of the saleslady who remembers me coming up and getting a receipt. I didn't wonder too long, but for awhile, I knew I had an irrational belief and could not understand why.

I had to take my Dad's car in today to get the oil changed. I open the garage door which is by no means see-through, and for some strange reason, as I prepare to back out, I begin wondering if I have really opened the door. I can look out the back mirror and see sunlight behind me, yet for some strange reason, that fear shows up.

And as I pull into the place to get the oil changed, I start wondering if I closed the garage door. That doesn't last long, and in fact, none of these did, but they all happened. It just seems so odd to be rational on so many levels, but to be irrational on this one.

It's kind of a double-edged sword if you're an apologist. On the one hand, it makes you analyze your arguments more and more and everything gets fine-tuned. On the other hand, every little doubt or criticism or anything seems to become a personal obsession in some way. It's the problem of analyzing arguments, which is good, but analyzing everything else way too much, a negative.

So there's some of my personal situation. Yes. I do have a counselor before anyone asks who does promote me highly on my path and is the leading person pushing my going to Seminary.

So does anybody else have any thoughts?

[Piebald]

I have an obsessive thought process that I will share here. It is absolutely bizarre but I am serious. Try not to laugh too hard :smile:

When I was about 9 years old, I read a book by Dahl called "The Witches." at the end of the book we find out that witches in America turn people's children into hot dogs and then laugh as the parents eat them.

Since then, every once in a while, I can't finish food because I am too "scared" that I am eating a loved one.

Yes, I know, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. :smile:

That obsession thought has ruined lots of meals, believe me.

Edited to Add:

I also have the classic worrying about hurting people, particularly loved ones.

And yes, I know this thread will get used against me at some point :smile:

[$cirisme]

Wow, that sounds like me more than once. I'm kind of the absent minded professor, and every now and again I will obsess over something... like you did with the garage door.

[Sheepdog]

i try not to think too hard.

but sometimes i don't try hard enough at not thinking too hard. :demure:

[{Tim}]

Well, sometimes, occasionally, I do that sort of thing... like I'm about to go out the door and I worry whether I really do have my keys, even though I just put them in my pocket a minute ago.

[dizzle]

Yes that is typical OCD behaviour. You are much younger than me, and I used to have that kind of thing very terribly when I was younger, and only occasionally now in middle age. But when I was a late teenager it was horrible. And also when I was about eight or nine it was really bad. I have OCD as long as I can remember, and I am interested in studies of such as me whether this is nature or nurture. I can think of a great deal in my very young days that could have caused such a malfunction but we are also to quick to blame our parents on everythng (though I guess if it is nature it is still their fault!)

I will not publicly relate the incidences of my teenage years as it will certainly be used against me by classless people.

[$cirisme]

The typical OCD sufferer performs tasks (or compulsions) to seek relief from obsessions. To others, these tasks may appear simple and unnecessary. But for the sufferer, such tasks can feel critically important, and must be performed in particular ways for fear of dire consequences and to stop the stress build up. Examples of these tasks: repeatedly checking that one's parked car has been locked before leaving it; turning lights on and off a set number of times before exiting a room; repeatedly washing hands at regular intervals throughout the day.

Ok, car thing, check. Does it help if you go out to visit it regularly just to double check it's still locked? :shifty:

This is weird:

OCD rituals are often bound up with intricate detail — detail that may seem arbitrary to outsiders. A smoker with OCD, for instance, may argue with themself that quitting cigarettes is possible only on the 13th or 27th of a month, and only when they are in possession of four cigarettes at noon.

Most OCD sufferers are aware that such thoughts and behavior are not rational (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationality), but feel bound to comply with them to fend off fears of panic or dread. Because sufferers are consciously aware of this irrationality but feel helpless to push it away, OCD is often regarded as one of the most vexing and frustrating of the major anxiety disorders.

Uhh, this is sounding more and more like me...


Equally frequently, these rationalisations do not apply to the overall behavior, but to each instance individually,: for example, a person compulsively checking their front door may argue that the time taken and stress caused by one more check of the front door is considerably less than the time and stress associated with being burgled, and thus the check is the better option. In practice, after that check, the individual is still not sure, and it is still better in terms of time and stress to do one more check, and this reasoning can continue as long as necessary.


:sigh:



OCD is different from behaviors such as gambling addiction and overeating. People with these disorders typically experience at least some pleasure from their activity; OCD sufferers do not actively want to perform their compulsive tasks, and experience no tangible pleasure in doing so.

(all from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCD))

[Jade]

Ok, the last time I was in the hospital the doctor diagnosed me as having OCD, but I'm not sure that I see it. The closest behavior I can associate with OCD is related to the keys issue. Before I lock/shut my car door, not only do I have to check my pockets for the keys but I have to physically clamp my hand on the keys. Maybe I'm not cognitively aware of other things, but that's the only thing I can think of. Does that sound like OCD to you, or does it sound normal?

[technomage]

Ok, the last time I was in the hospital the doctor diagnosed me as having OCD, but I'm not sure that I see it. The closest behavior I can associate with OCD is related to the keys issue. Before I lock/shut my car door, not only do I have to check my pockets for the keys but I have to physically clamp my hand on the keys. Maybe I'm not cognitively aware of other things, but that's the only thing I can think of. Does that sound like OCD to you, or does it sound normal?

Jade, I honestly can't tell ... because there's nothing on this thread that seems all that out of the way or abnormal.

[$cirisme]

Jade, I honestly can't tell ... because there's nothing on this thread that seems all that out of the way or abnormal.
According to Wikipedia, they think that OCD is actually quite common.

[technomage]

According to Wikipedia, they think that OCD is actually quite common.

Which could also mean that it's overdiagnosed.

[dizzle]

I most definitely have had it all my life. There is one particular thing that I did as a teenager that I thought was so crazy that I never even told anyone until last year when I read on the Internet that it wasn't that uncommon and is a near perfect indicator of OCD. Most sufferers though have it as a periodic issue not permanent, meaning they could have it for a year, and then never again. I am one of the rarer ones in which definite symptons were there from childhood.

I am not sure it is overdiagnosed though - maybe now, but certainly not when I was younger or I would have been diagnosed at an age where intervention could have made a radical difference in my life. But what happens is as a child you share all the things that are bothering you and parent chalk it up to childish nonsense. As you grow older, you realize that it is wierd (I grew up without the Internet) so you hide it, and then there is no reason for a diagnosis. Maybe it is being overdiagnosed in this generation but certainly not mine. I really wish I could share three really bad ones I had when I was much younger but I have learned the hard way that predatory types on the Internet exploit such things. I have a lot of fruitful private conversations though with some who thought they were the only one.

When I was "officially" diagnosed, my doctor, after hearing my story from childhood up to then to explain why I had self-diagnosed myself, had tears in her eyes as she said that it is an out and out shame that some of those things were obvious and nobody intervened, and that I had carried the burden of shame for so long but overcame it through sheer will to be a success intelligent professional and positive contributor to society.

[technomage]

I am not sure it is overdiagnosed though - maybe now, but certainly not when I was younger or I would have been diagnosed at an age where intervention could have made a radical difference in my life.

No, I mean now--like ADHD was overdiagnosed there for a while in the late 90s. OCD is something that wasn't even considered for children/teenagers back when we were growing up--"Oh, it's just a phase, he/she will outgrow it." :ahem:

I really wish I could share three really bad ones I had when I was much younger but I have learned the hard way that predatory types on the Internet exploit such things.

And frankly, the folks who do that are despicable--but you're absolutely correct to not give them any more bait.

[Piebald]

Jade, I honestly can't tell ... because there's nothing on this thread that seems all that out of the way or abnormal.
You haven't read my post :ack:

I tend to think that everyone has traits of personality disorders or things like obsessive thinking, just in varying degrees. It is only when these traits or thoughts get too "strong" that you have a full fledged "disorder" that you need to see a doctor about.

[technomage]

You haven't read my post :ack:

Actually, I had ... and to me, that seems perfectly understandable.

I have an irrational fear of general anesthetic--the thought of being put under for any operation absolutely frightens the willies out of me. My wife has harrangued me for years about considering knee replacement surgery (at least, she did until she saw the x-rays ... theres not enough bone mass to support the artificial joints). Being twilighted doesn't bug me ... that's how I had my teeth out. But a general anesthetic? I'm completely and totally convinced that I'll never wake up.

I tend to think that everyone has traits of personality disorders or things like obsessive thinking, just in varying degrees. It is only when these traits or thoughts get too "strong" that you have a full fledged "disorder" that you need to see a doctor about.

And for my part, unless it interfered with my life, I wouldn't consider them a problem. For instance, if your particular thought interfered with meals once a wewek or more often, maybe it's a problem ... but you're the one who has to make that evaluation.

Either way, my prayers for all of us who suffer from this.

[Piebald]

General Anesthetic never really bothered me except for the horrible feeling afterwords...

However, in a week or so, I am going to have to have my blood taken from my arm. I am scared to death of it. The weird thing is, it's not really the needle that bothers me. It's the claustrophobic "squeezing" of my arm, and knowing that they are trying to squeeze blood into my arm. I am feeling anxiety just describing this :frown:

[$cirisme]

Which could also mean that it's overdiagnosed.
No, no....what I mean is: They say that known cases are about 2 to 3% of the population, but the number those affected by it could be much higher.

[Sheepdog]

General Anesthetic never really bothered me except for the horrible feeling afterwords...

However, in a week or so, I am going to have to have my blood taken from my arm. I am scared to death of it. The weird thing is, it's not really the needle that bothers me. It's the claustrophobic "squeezing" of my arm, and knowing that they are trying to squeeze blood into my arm. I am feeling anxiety just describing this :frown:

that just gave my the willies!

[Rubia Warren]

Now notice this, I have no reason to be thinking something like this. I have no evidence that I was lying and I have all the evidence that I wasn't, such as the personal testimony of the saleslady who remembers me coming up and getting a receipt. I didn't wonder too long, but for awhile, I knew I had an irrational belief and could not understand why.


I dunno if I am OCD or something, but I do this constantly and it drives me nuts. I mean it really really is a suffering point for me. If I am with someone and they can't seem to find something, I automatically get frantic inside. Oh no.... they prolly think I stole it.... they HAVE to know that I didn't..... oh crap. What if I stole her money and I just can't remember doing it? What if I did it on accident? (even though I don't do stuff like that) so then I'll tell the person, "I didn't steal your 5 dollar bill you are looking for. I swear I didn't. I wouldn't do that to you. I'm sorry you can't find it you have to believe me" and then they look at me weird and go, "Uhh... roobz? I didn't think you did? Why you so worked up? dang. Look, it's right here, I found it."
Same thing happens when someone's secret gets out or something. I will freak out and think: oh crap. They need to know that I am not the one who let the cat outta the bag. She's just gotta know. Oh crud. What if I told everybody about it and even exagerrated some parts, and I just don't remember doing it?
So then I go to that person crying, "You just GOTTA believe me- I didn't tell anyone any of the stuff I knew. I dunno how it got out but I SWEAR it wasn't me." then they go, "Uhh.... r00bz, I didn't think you did, or anything. Chill out."

You know what is the worst? When I panic like that and freak out over it, and when I blurt out that I didn't do it and someone sees me really trippin about it, when they joke around, "Dang. Chill out rubia. I never accused you of doing it. Why are you freaking out so bad? Got a guilty conscience or something? Hmmm?"
Oh that sends me over the edge. Then I really freak out. Oh it's hopeless! Now they REALLY think I did it!! And I will just spend tons of time being upset and swearing even more that I didn't do it.

I dunno why I have such a guilty conscience over stuff I haven't even done, but I have done that since I was a little kid. When something comes up missing, or somebody does something shady but nobody knows who did it, I for some reason obsess about it and either fear that it was me (for no good reason, and not able to recall doing it), or I fear that they THINK I did it.

[Piebald]

I dunno why I have such a guilty conscience over stuff I haven't even done, but I have done that since I was a little kid. When something comes up missing, or somebody does something shady but nobody knows who did it, I for some reason obsess about it and either fear that it was me (for no good reason, and not able to recall doing it), or I fear that they THINK I did it.


Parents or siblings blame ya for stuff a lot?

[Piebald]

that just gave my the willies!
I have to go through with it in 16 hours :what:

[Rubia Warren]

Parents or siblings blame ya for stuff a lot?
No, which is why it's so weird to me. :huh:
Good luck getting your blood drawn. :flowers: Hopie it all goes well.
My husband freaks out if he has to get his drawn too. :frown:

[Sahfed Guru]

If you guys/gals cannot see this behaviour as abnormal, then I must be the abnomal one on this particular thread.

I analize everything, however I do not questions such common things, like did I close the door, or did I put the tooth paste cap back on. If you find your self leaving work just to check the stove or something, you might have OCD to the point it will be bothersome in your life.

Personally I do not have OCD, but I do obsess over things like...

If I come accross something I do not understand, I will obsess over it until I come up with an answer. I remember being in school learning multiplication. For some reason my teacher did not teach us the mechanics of multiplication, rather she only had us memorise the problems. It drove me nuts not understanding why 5x5 =25, so I ask, why?

She explained the mechanics to me and all was well.

I had a very hard time accepting vowels. It just was not logical to me, I would ask why is it spelt opperation and not awperation. Why do we just not spell it how it sounds I would ask. They just said, it is the way it is. Man that bugged me all my life until Later in life I solved why. English is stollen from other langauges thus why words are spelt funny, gnostic, knowledge, etc.

I have an obsession with things making sense, having answers for everything, but not about things like did I close the door.