The Role of men in the Neo Pagan faith

[Cu Mhorrigan]

I was curious,, in a christian chat room I listened as they proceeded ad nauseum to define the family as the MAN being the head of the household and the female is to be subservient to the male.
I was curious to hear the pagan view point on the roles of men and women in the family relationship?

[tmancour]

I was curious,, in a christian chat room I listened as they proceeded ad nauseum to define the family as the MAN being the head of the household and the female is to be subservient to the male.
I was curious to hear the pagan view point on the roles of men and women in the family relationship?


Good question! In my own interfaith relationship (hardcore secular humanist) I see the family -- generally speaking -- to have two people at the core (usually man and woman -- your mileage may vary.) As to which one is the "Head of Household" . . .

My wife makes more money than I do. She has more education. She has a more demanding and stressful career. She pays the bills. She balances the checkbook and makes the budget. Definately the breadwinner.

Me? I do all the cooking (DO NOT LET MY WIFE COOK). I clean. I hold down a full time (reasonably well-paying but not spectacular) job with little chance at advancement. I do the yardwork, the car maintenance, the laundry, the grocery shopping. I get the kids up for school, bathed, dressed, and usually I'm the one taking them and picking them up. I change all the baby's diapers. Definately the Homemaker.

I'd like to think that we have an evolved, non-traditional relationship. Anything big, we discuss and come to a concensus. Or we fight about it until one or the other gives in, following carefully pre-determined rules of engagement.

So the answer is, she's the head of household when it is most appropriate for her to be (taxes, bank loans, etc.) and I am head of household when it is most appropriate for me, during bake sales and at most family gatherings where it is expected that I assume that role.

It ain't always smooth sailing, and we occasionally get our feelings hurt (she over her lack of homemaking skills, largely fueled by her mother. Me over how much money I make, largely fueled by my own ego. But after 14 years, we've worked most of the bugs out.

Arion

[Timothy Leary]

Well, wouldn't the "pagan" view encompass so many faiths that you're bound to get almost every answer possible?

[technomage]

Well, wouldn't the "pagan" view encompass so many faiths that you're bound to get almost every answer possible?

Neo-Pagan" is a much more restrictive term than "pagan." :wink:

For me, I'll have to get my reply tomorrow ... I'm worn out.

[tmancour]

Well, wouldn't the "pagan" view encompass so many faiths that you're bound to get almost every answer possible?


For the purposes of discussion, let us limit ourselves to modern North American Neo-Pagans, which encompass Wicca, Asatru, Druidism, and related emergent earth religions.

Arion

[technomage]

As for the role of men ... I'm not sure that things can universally be divided on gender roles. In some respects, my wife is a lot more of the "stereotypical guy" than I am--she works on the car, does most of the repair work around the house, that kind of thing. It was only a couple of weeks ago I learned to cook steaks on a grill. (And they were GOOD!)

When it comes to working as a priest, I tend to be much more the emotionally supportive of the two. She's not Wiccan, precisely--she's got her own Pagan path that she's comfortable with--but she's more the "Here's a practical plan to deal with the problems," while I tend to be the "I understand your pain."

I think the role of men and women is a lot more an individual decision than a straight reification on gender lines.