Sheila Rangslinger's Range Patrol #1: "Cold Reception"

[jpholding]

Well, here it is --

http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/hearthstone.html

There's rough edges to be had but it's done and ready for a look. The main page here also includes links to "world almanc" stuff on Hearthstone in which the discussions with Sheila were a big help. Enjoy!

[LilPunkishOfTerror]

Oh my,

That's a fantastic story! I love it! Can I join Sheila's fanclub?

Punkish

[jpholding]

That's a fantastic story! I love it! Can I join Sheila's fanclub?


You can be President since you asked first. :teeth: That means you get to take her out for dinner. Ask Tuck for any advice.

Since you're President she's put on the posh frock.

[TuckEverlasting]

You can be President since you asked first. :teeth: That means you get to take her out for dinner. Ask Tuck for any advice.

Since you're President she's put on the posh frock.

Hey!!!! :glare: She didn't wear the posh frock for me! I guess that means any advice I give you is most likely worthless. :hrm:


Anyway, I thought the comic was awesome, too! To be honest, I didn't think I would like it much, just because I don't really like that kind of thing in general. But it had lots of my kind of humour in it and it didn't seem to take itself too seriously, so I ended up really liking it! I can't wait for the next one... and I hope you continue to intersperse cultural lessons and things like that - I really liked that.

[Piebald]

I mentioned this to you in PM, but here it is again for posterity :smile: :

I liked it a lot!

Before I mentioned how one of the characters looked kind of insincere or sarcastic. This is what I meant:

[attachment=1]

I think his half-lidded eyes are what seems to give an air of insincerity (to me).

There were also a couple times when you were inconsistent with their "morphology"

e.g.:

[attachment=2]

Sheila's nose seems a little too long in this shot.

But other than these mild constructive criticisms: Bravo. The story was fantastic. There were a couple scenes (i.e. the "shatter" scene and the "equilibrium" scene) which were particularly awesome.

I can't WAIT for the next issue.

[Lazy Agnostic]

It's good to know what our donations actually go to underwrite, Mr Barker.

LA, you are, one way or another, going to stop following another member around to dredge up irrelevencies and obsessions.

[Piebald]

It's good to know what our donations actually go to underwrite, Mr Barker.

[attachment=1]

[dizzle]

I thought I had already deleted his post and when I saw it again, I thought perhaps I was mistaken. I was not. I deleted LA's post, and he decides that he shall just post it again. Until my Admin team can review LA is suspended from the site.[

EDIT TO ADD: LA has told me that he could not see when posts were deleted, I was under the mistaken impression that a user could. However, the admin team is still under review of the temporary suspension.

[dizzle]

Carry on with the toons

[Tobias Reiper]

I'm confused. It says on one part of the site that long distance communication isn't possible (other than the beginnings of an internet), but she was using a fax machine on one page.

[TuckEverlasting]

I'm confused. It says on one part of the site that long distance communication isn't possible (other than the beginnings of an internet), but she was using a fax machine on one page.

:stop: nitpicking!

[Tobias Reiper]

:stop: nitpicking!

Sorry if it's considered nitpicking, but continuity is very important to me.

[TuckEverlasting]

You probably prefer Star Trek:TNG over TOS, don't you... :doh:

[Piebald]

Do you recall where you saw the part about the communication limitations and where you saw the fax machine?

[Tobias Reiper]

Do you recall where you saw the part about the communication limitations and where you saw the fax machine?

It's on the social page under technology, but it says waveform, so I guess I misunderstood.

And Tuck, what exactly is TOS? I never could get into sci-fi in general, except for Star Wars, so Star Trek is the only one I recognize.

[TuckEverlasting]

Never mind. Carry on, then. :aye:

[jpholding]

Hey!!!! :glare: She didn't wear the posh frock for me! I guess that means any advice I give you is most likely worthless. :hrm:

Huh? She says she WENT wearing it for you. :glare: Did you maybe show up at the wrong place?

I can't wait for the next one... and I hope you continue to intersperse cultural lessons and things like that - I really liked that.

I'm into page 4 of the first Shrike Team story and it will actually be a little heavier on the cultural elements because it takes place in the Eastern lands where everyone is agonistic. There are issues of class interaction (particularly, the "right of speech" Annabelle alluded to), favor and grace, and even a case of silence as a means of shaming someone. And that's just the first four pages!



Before I mentioned how one of the characters looked kind of insincere or sarcastic. This is what I meant:

I'd like any other views on this. I have to admit (maybe it's just me) that I can't see it as Hamster does.

There were also a couple times when you were inconsistent with their "morphology"

Heavens, I know. There are places where the scale of the characters with each other is wrong. It's one thing I have problems with, even if I keep reference drawings handy. I don't think I'll be able to "cure" that "problem"...I never could when I did this before.

There were a couple scenes (i.e. the "shatter" scene and the "equilibrium" scene) which were particularly awesome.

Here's a background story on the "shatter" part...I wanted to think of a way that all four of the present team members could contribute to Sevrin's demise. The big problem was what to do with Beamer and Bimf. At first I was going to have them just stand there with Sheila warning them to stay away because they could accidentally get frozen too, but that seemed too trite and I didn't like the idea of both of them frozen in action instead. Sevrin's bomb was a sort of prop to solve that, but it ended up being helpful because it also gave him a broader plan to force the law enforcement officials he knew would come to get him, to transmit his message to Annabelle. Sometimes I add props that become even better parts of the story after I think of them. Annabelle's "foot in the back" of Sheila was another example. I had a devil of a time with that scene and wondering how Sheila and Annabelle could best confront Sevrin.


I'm confused. It says on one part of the site that long distance communication isn't possible (other than the beginnings of an internet), but she was using a fax machine on one page.

I didn't explain it, but there is what we would regard as a primitive sort of underground telegraph (by wire) system. Don't get used to it, though...or that building. :wink:

[Piebald]

:yes:

The scene where she says "I state publically that I owe you nothing," or something to that effect was really cool.

Regarding the half-lidded eyes, take it with a grain of salt. I have an avoidant personality disorder and part of it is that I am really sensitive about slight body language that doesn't mean anything; it sometimes causes me to interpret some harmless gestures or expressions as "negative." I didn't think it would carry over into fiction, but looking back, I've made similar mistakes with many characters in comic books, TV, and movies :lol:

[jpholding]

Regarding the half-lidded eyes, take it with a grain of salt. I have an avoidant personality disorder and part of it is that I am really sensitive about slight body language that doesn't mean anything; it sometimes causes me to interpret some harmless gestures or expressions as "negative." I didn't think it would carry over into fiction, but looking back, I've made similar mistakes with many characters in comic books, TV, and movies :lol:

Oh...that's interesting....my wife is legally blind and has had similar issues. When she finally got glasses that raised her vision to 20/40 she was asking me often what it meant when a person did this or that with their face.

If we ever meet in person I'll have to make sure I take a sedative so I'm not as animated as I usually am. :hehe:

The "owe you nothing" phrase came as a secondary idea to the "foot in the back" prop.







BTW Fatty? TOS means The Original Series. It threw me off once too.

[Shadow Phoenix]

Well Done JP. I quite enjoyed it. Is it going to be in book form soon?

I did think Annabelle's handling of Servin in public was interesting. I know you said that was a part of the culture, but hasn't that kind of remained with us in some ways? I can recall several movies and such where the hero clearly explains why he's doing what he's doing in pounding the bad guy at the end.

Overall though, I loved it. I do hope you go to book format.

[jpholding]

Well Done JP. I quite enjoyed it. Is it going to be in book form soon?

Thank you. Book format is too expensive and the market is too filled right now, so...not that I can see.

I know you said that was a part of the culture, but hasn't that kind of remained with us in some ways?

Perhaps, but how we look at it is different. I think most of us would either think the person was being too emotional (which is indeed what we think of dyadic peoples often!) or think there was some sort of show to watch.

[Cynic Sage]

I've been reading your comic. It's very good. However, it is my nature to criticize so here goes.


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-1.html

I find it rather odd that in the last panel Shelia isn't making eye-contact with Beamer. It's looks like she's a five year-old performing in a Christmas Pageant glancing to her parents to be reminded of her lines.


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-2.html

In the first panel here we have a significant action (the throwing of the rang) sharing the panel with a speech bubble. This, coupled with the lack of speed-motion lines, causes the reader to think that the boomerang is either not moving very fast or is simply hovering in middair.


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-3.html

So Beamer is a technological genius but he has trouble telling the difference between office stationary and multi-grain? :huh:


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-4.html

Shelia's facial expression and body language in the first panel seem to imply to the reader that Shelia is stupid rather than surprised and inquisitive. Perhaps slight squinting or usage of eyebrows would be more effective.

http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-5.html

Simmilar "dumb-blonde sterotype" expression as in last page. Speed lines would have helped, but good job on the "camera angle", it gave the impression of movement.


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-6.html

First and second panel = VERY GEWD! In the third panel Shelia has a slightly zombie-ish look on her face.


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-7.html

Good stuff. Thought-bubbles to a better job of sharing a panel with motion than speech-bubbles do.


http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-8.html

Good. Although I would have had accompanied the "THERE!" in a panel containing a shot of Snow/Annabelle's position (without exactly showing her) from a distanced perspective from Shelia's position.

http://www.tektonics.org/toongallery/rangtoon1-9.html

Awesome Mutant Ice Power < Curved throwing-stick.

[attachment]

Well that's all for now. I strongly reccomend checking out Will Eisner's Comics and Sequential Art (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0961472812/qid=1131051683/sr=2-2/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_2/104-1293278-6379939?v=glance&s=books) as well as Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics: the Invisible Art (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006097625X/qid=1131051638/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-1293278-6379939?v=glance&s=books).


































HA HA! :grin: I just did what Farrell Till, Doubting John, Robyn Banks, and Jimbo were never able to do. I JUST SKOOL'D JP HOLDING! :yipee: :woohoo: :joy:

[jpholding]

I've been reading your comic. It's very good. However, it is my nature to criticize so here goes.

Peh. As long as they grow less as you get farther along it won't bug me. After not doin' this stuff for 15 years I'm glad there's this LITTLE. I showed later pages to my friend http://www.robsmithjr.com and he praised the storytelling in particular.

Beamer. It's looks like she's a five year-old performing in a Christmas Pageant glancing to her parents to be reminded of her lines.

Wanted to get a frontal view of both characters.

So Beamer is a technological genius but he has trouble telling the difference between office stationary and multi-grain? :huh:

Yeah. A lot of geniuses are like that. Einstein. Slippers. Snow. :lol:

I'll keep this on record as I do hope to redraw some of the earlier pages sometime.

[ShadowLands]

Excellent story, I'll be waiting for the next installment.

[jpholding]

Hey Johnny, uh, two things --



Awesome Mutant Ice Power < Curved throwing-stick.

Well, yeah, but remember:

Awesome Mutant Ice Power Wielded By Inexperienced and Stressed Out Subject < Curved Throwing Stick Wielded by Fully Trained and Experienced Law Enforcement Officer

It happens! :lol: But you wait until Annabelle and Brett get their Range Patrol training next story. You'll see some awesome power, all right....enough to wipe out...heh heh....no, you'll just have to wait.... :tongue:



Well that's all for now. I strongly reccomend checking out Will Eisner's Comics and Sequential Art (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0961472812/qid=1131051683/sr=2-2/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_2/104-1293278-6379939?v=glance&s=books) as well as Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics: the Invisible Art (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006097625X/qid=1131051638/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-1293278-6379939?v=glance&s=books).

McCloud might be of use. I'm not sure Eisner is going to serve well for an anthropomorphic genre, though? I mean I can't see Carl Barks doing a scene like the one you posted with Scrooge McDuck, Launchpad and Daisy Duck... :twitch:

[Cynic Sage]

Well, yeah, but remember:

Awesome Mutant Ice Power Wielded By Inexperienced and Stressed Out Subject < Curved Throwing Stick Wielded by Fully Trained and Experienced Law Enforcement Officer


I know, hence my use of the term "PWNED!" as in "Shelia PWNED Annabelle".

McCloud might be of use. I'm not sure Eisner is going to serve well for an anthropomorphic genre, though?

Eisner's book isn't as much about drawing style as it is about the layout, usage of panels, character's body language, and "camera angle" type stuff used to tell a story. I found it a great read and very helpful to me. :thumb:

I mean I can't see Carl Barks doing a scene like the one you posted with Scrooge McDuck, Launchpad and Daisy Duck... :twitch:

True, I guess to each his own. Is Carl Barks one of you favorite artists? I myself am really into Rumiko Takahashi's work as well as the later work of Osamu Tezuka. Is there anyone else whose style you like?

[jpholding]

I know, hence my use of the term "PWNED!" as in "Shelia PWNED Annabelle".

Aw heck. I must be too old to know what that means. Anachronized and only 37. :rant:

Is Carl Barks one of you favorite artists?

He's the one person my friend (http://www.robsmithjr.com) said my material most looked like when I asked him. Rob went to the Joe Kubert School for cartoonists and so got some of the professional training I never bothered with. He's familiar with a wider range of artists than I have ever been, so I'll take the identification with Barks as authoritative.... :smile:

Is there anyone else whose style you like?

This is a tough call. I like bits and pieces of what I see from numerous artists. I try to pick up what I can and make use of it in my own technique. Sometimes it works....

Some people I like but don't know the name of. With the Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 2 game there is a "sketchbook" feature and whoever drew those (I guess he/she would be in the credits) was awesome, but their style is one I wouldn't readily want to imitate.

I think you'll find that the Shrike team opener will have far fewer problems. :teeth: (Working on page 6 now, BTW.) In addition to getting back to this after a 15 year hiatus, Range Patrol #1 had me experimenting with so many different things and with new technology options that I'm not surprised a vet reader like you can find problems. I always liked to redraw my older comics when I learned how to do things better, and I expect it'll be the same now...only at least I can more efficiently copy and paste parts of the drawings worth preserving and not have to redo the whole page.

[Darth Executor]

I really didn't like the small fonts you decided to stick with. Other than that it was well worth the wait. :thumb:

[jpholding]

I really didn't like the small fonts you decided to stick with. Other than that it was well worth the wait. :thumb:

Thank you...do you mean though the fonts I ended up with? I tried a few different sizes through the whole process.

[Darth Executor]

Thank you...do you mean though the fonts I ended up with? I tried a few different sizes through the whole process.

Yeah, the ones you ended up with. Then again it could also be my peculiar eyesight (I wear prescription sunglasses almost all the time since my eyes are more sensitive to light than most people).

[jpholding]

That's interesting, because I have an aversion to bright light but can read eyestrain script with no problem and can read in light most people think is inadequate. I can't count how many times my grandmother would see me reading and say, "Don't you want a light on???" :ahem:

Signing off for the weekend (likely)...

[Darth Executor]

That's interesting, because I have an aversion to bright light but can read eyestrain script with no problem and can read in light most people think is inadequate. I can't count how many times my grandmother would see me reading and say, "Don't you want a light on???" :ahem:


Oh, I can do that too (provided I'm wearing glasses or the item is close enough for me to see). The problem is that I was not aware of this most of my life and my eyesight has gotten worse, I'm guessing due to "overexposure". I do enjoy the "night vision" ability though. I also enjoy the reactions I get from people who see me walking around with sunglasses at night.

[jpholding]

Got up to page 9 of the first Shrike Team tale this weekend. Interesting lesson in how Hearthstone accommodates the divergent needs of its races, as a Tilkrig detective's office has pipes hanging from the ceiling that allow her to swing around to her various office stations. Nowhere but Hearthstone, I think, will you see a police detective have to climb on top of a file cabinet to reach the top drawer. :lol:

I'll be scanning some of these in at the end of the week and hopefully be able to color and post a few samples.

[jpholding]

My friend who does scans is sick this weekend so that puts things off a week. :thumbd:

[jpholding]

I'd like to ask if mods will move this thread to my section (tektonics.org) as I expect I may be using it again soon.

[jpholding]

I'd like to ask if mods will move this thread to my section (tektonics.org) as I expect I may be using it again soon.

Can I ask again?

[JB]

Can I ask again?

:haha:

[{Tim}]

Can I ask again?
Done. :teeth:

[jpholding]

Thank you. :thumb:

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1025.html

Four redone pages.

I've thought of a new, more comic ending for RP #1, too. That'll come in a month or so. :hehe:

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1029.html

Four reworked pages. There's a good deal of the older art still in this one. Oddly, I was happier with some of the stuff of Sevrin than I was some of the other characters.

[Frogwarrior]

In page 29, Sheila's inner monologue...
shouldn't that be "barrage OF repeater rifles?"

Also, you still have at the top of page 33 the scene that was expanded at the bottom of page 32.

Good update! :thumb:

[jpholding]

Thankee. :bow:

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1034.html

Redid art on four pages. No new narrative this time but there will be next time for the last revision.

[Frogwarrior]

Huh. It leads from page 38 directly to the insider. 'Course, by modifying the address bar, I can get to page 39, but...

[jpholding]

Huh. It leads from page 38 directly to the insider. 'Course, by modifying the address bar, I can get to page 39, but...

Whoops...thanks.

I had to redo the pagination again. I expect by the last revise it may have 40-41 pages total; then I can redo the menu too.

[Teallaura]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1029.html

Four reworked pages. There's a good deal of the older art still in this one. Oddly, I was happier with some of the stuff of Sevrin than I was some of the other characters.


Page thirty five. She's facing away - so where are her ears?

[Teallaura]

:thumb: Big improvements in dialog!

[jpholding]

Page thirty five. She's facing away - so where are her ears?

Her hair's tied, so they're hidden inside.

Thank you for the compliment on the dialogue. :smile:

[Teallaura]

It's really much better - a lot more mature and informative. Less 'super friends' type over expression and much more natural.

Really, a great job! :thumb:

[Teallaura]

Toward the bottom, paragraph beginning: "The Northeastern landmass..." Second to last sentence 'lawlessness' - missing an s.


On a lighter note, did you really mean to name the female Tilkrig advisor to Prycus L'Nai? :lmbo: I guess that makes her a perching porch, huh?

Sorry, but it was just too funny... :rofl:

[Spheniscine]

Huh? I don't get it.

[Teallaura]

A lanai is a type of (usually) screened porch. Also called a Florida room.

[Spheniscine]

I see. XD

[jpholding]

On a lighter note, did you really mean to name the female Tilkrig advisor to Prycus L'Nai? :lmbo: I guess that makes her a perching porch, huh?

Sorry, but it was just too funny... :rofl:

I lives in FL and I never heard it called that... :huh:

What was the page number of that other? Same as before? Thank you. :smile:

[Teallaura]

:doh: Sorry - helps if I tell you where it was, huh?

http://www.tektoonics.com/hearthhistory.html

History v4, fourth paragraph, toward the end.



It's more common on the West Coast and originates in Hawaii. We always called them 'Florida rooms' around here and I hadn't heard the term myself until a few years ago (HGTV does have some uses). It was still funny - but obviously most guys won't get it.

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1037.html

New art on pages 37-40. No change to the storyline.

[The Curtmudgeon]

:doh: Sorry - helps if I tell you where it was, huh?

http://www.tektoonics.com/hearthhistory.html

History v4, fourth paragraph, toward the end.



It's more common on the West Coast and originates in Hawaii. We always called them 'Florida rooms' around here and I hadn't heard the term myself until a few years ago (HGTV does have some uses). It was still funny - but obviously most guys won't get it.

I guess that's like the old Mississippi River paddle-wheelers having a "Texas deck" even though the Messy Hippy River doesn't go particularly near God's Country(tm). People from outside Florida call these things "Florida rooms", and Floridians wonder why.

The (JPH -- let's start a Florida custom of calling them "Hawaiian rooms") Curtmudgeon

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1041.html

Last scene (4 pages) redone. Mrs H is workin' a bit late so I got it done today.

Also 4 new races in the Ethnology:

http://www.tektoonics.com/hearthpeoples.html

The Bro'marg are just for you, Darth. :rasberry:

[Teallaura]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1043.html

The text in the older panels isn't as crisp as the newer ones - really noticeable.

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtooninsider1.html

Second to last paragraph: "it's own" should be "its own"

[The Curtmudgeon]

Also 4 new races in the Ethnology:

http://www.tektoonics.com/hearthpeoples.html

The Bro'marg are just for you, Darth. :rasberry:

"Melacapra" is mispelt "Melacpara" in the first line of their text.

The (yeah, I should put this in the Problems thread, but I'm lazy) Curtmudgeon

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/rangtoon1/rangtoon1043.html

The text in the older panels isn't as crisp as the newer ones - really noticeable.


Yeah, that'll have to wait... :sigh:

[Sinclair]

Sorry to bring this up again, but I was rereading the series from the beginning. I must say that although the very first scenes where Beamer is thinking to himself is incredibly cute and lovely, it kinda spoils the surprise in RP #5 (at least it was a surprise for me back then, though I probably suspected as early as the end of RP #4).

[jpholding]

Sorry to bring this up again, but I was rereading the series from the beginning. I must say that although the very first scenes where Beamer is thinking to himself is incredibly cute and lovely, it kinda spoils the surprise in RP #5 (at least it was a surprise for me back then, though I probably suspected as early as the end of RP #4).

Yeah, I did decide to project the whole thing back to the beginning, to increase the suspense over the next few stories. When I rework RP #2 and #3 I may do a few more such hints.

For new readers of course there won't be a surprise to spoil, just a little more angst. :hehe: