How Long does it take?

[kendal]

I am wondering hpw long it takes on average to get over a broken heart after a break up with someone you have loved very much?
:eek:

[silasjones]

I am wondering hpw long it takes on average to get over a broken heart after a break up with someone you have loved very much?

I'd say that's a pretty impossible thing for anybody to answer but yourself. It's not like there's some cut and dry formula for figuring that out, you know. ;-)

Everyone's different. I suppose it depends entirely on how able you are to forgive? The end of a relationship is something very hurtful, and I think the reason many people feel resentful about breakups or things of the sort is that they feel they didn't deserve it.

Maybe a little context would help?

[mentored1]

I am wondering hpw long it takes on average to get over a broken heart after a break up with someone you have loved very much?
:eek:

Well met kendal...

Indeed as it was already mentioned - it depends on you. I've had a number of those myself and can only say if you learn from it - what part you played in particular - the ache will at least mean something and give you something you can carry forward. You'll never fully dispose of it, emotions are like that, but the nature of the baggage is in your control. Carry it with the right perspective and it will enhance future relationships.

Reflect on what it was that you loved and why you were loved and do away with all the childish infatuation, consider what that love REALLY consisted of. A great many aspects of love are empty - don't carry those bags with you, they're burdensome. How your memories of that love shape your next attempt is wholly up to you.

Take care and best wishes

[Jimmy Higgins]

I'd say that's a pretty impossible thing for anybody to answer but yourself. It's not like there's some cut and dry formula for figuring that out, you know. ;-)Actually there is one.

t(mourning period in days) ~ t(dating length in days) * Y * .137 / t(breakup time in weeks)

Y is the tricky part. It's based on the personality of the person who dumped and the person who was dumped. There are log charts where you map the two values together to get the value of Y. There are new peer reviewed studies coming out now that take into account how the the attitude on the breakup was for both people by introducing an adjustment for the Y variable. The newest equation is...

t(mourning period in days) ~ t(dating length in days) * Yadj * .154 / t(breakup time in weeks)

As you can see, the 0.137 was adjusted up to 0.154 due to new study findings.

Good luck with the recovery.

[Xmansmommy]

Hello Kendal. I'm sorry to hear your going through a breakup. I know how painful they can be so my heart goes out to you. As others have already said, there are many factors that play a part in how long the process takes.

I too have experienced several break-ups. For me the time frame varied based on the seriousness or lack of in the relationship. On how long the relationship lasted. On whether or not the reality of the relationship was how I envisioned it (which oftentimes wasn't :doh:). On whether or not I sufficiently dealt with my role in the break up of the relationship. On whether or not I simply took the time to mourn the loss or not.

There are many, many more but those were some of the major issues that I personally had to deal with in order to heal and move on in my life. If you take the time to evaluate exactly what happened and take time to mourn, I believe that you will find that although it hurts you can indeed heal from it. As others have said, much of this depends on you. But either way, it will definitely take time.

[silasjones]

Actually there is one.

wtf? no way, lol.

[kendal]

:hug: Thanks for all your honest replies!

You are a great help!!! I had a boyfriend and we broke up last June.
His sister said he had taken his ex girlfriend back but I didn't believe
her because she's lied to me before and she didn't like me and I wasn't
very fond of her either.
I decided to ask my ex boyfriend if it was true,if he did take his ex girl
friend back,but he would not ever tell me!!!
I asked him through e-mail.
He did e-mail me one day when I had found some genealogy records
about his family,and since I had a paid subscription I asked him if he
wanted me to send them to him. He said yes,to go ahead and send
them to him,and he said he was doing ok,and glad that I was too,so
i did send him the records,and asked him later on again if he took her
back,again he wouldn't tell me a thing.
I found out on my own that he did take her back,and she's pregnant.
She already has a child with him and she wanted him back when I was
with him. We had a big fight,and he kept saying that I wouldn't leave my
ex because we live in the same house for financial reasons and we have
children to think about. He didn't trust me. I guess I understand that,but
lying to me I cannot understand that.
to make a long story short,I was having a hard time with all of this until I
found out he did take her back,and now I feel so relieved to have an answer
and like I am free.
Thank you all very much for helping me get through the next few days until I got the truth!
You are good people!!!:wink:

[weighman]

:hug: Thanks for all your honest replies!

You are a great help!!! I had a boyfriend and we broke up last June.
His sister said he had taken his ex girlfriend back but I didn't believe
her because she's lied to me before and she didn't like me and I wasn't
very fond of her either.
I decided to ask my ex boyfriend if it was true,if he did take his ex girl
friend back,but he would not ever tell me!!!
I asked him through e-mail.
He did e-mail me one day when I had found some genealogy records
about his family,and since I had a paid subscription I asked him if he
wanted me to send them to him. He said yes,to go ahead and send
them to him,and he said he was doing ok,and glad that I was too,so
i did send him the records,and asked him later on again if he took her
back,again he wouldn't tell me a thing.
I found out on my own that he did take her back,and she's pregnant.
She already has a child with him and she wanted him back when I was
with him. We had a big fight,and he kept saying that I wouldn't leave my
ex because we live in the same house for financial reasons and we have
children to think about. He didn't trust me. I guess I understand that,but
lying to me I cannot understand that.
to make a long story short,I was having a hard time with all of this until I
found out he did take her back,and now I feel so relieved to have an answer
and like I am free.
Thank you all very much for helping me get through the next few days until I got the truth!
You are good people!!!:wink:
Appreciate your good forture, you found out in time. Next time find one without children

[kendal]

yes,I will try to. I am very blessed that the truth came out. His girlfriend calls me many bad names and she's actually got the nerve to be mad and angry at me when she was trying to get him back while I was with him. She calls me filthy names. I sent my daughter to drop off some of his things and to ask for my things back,and he refuses to give my things back,and claims he threw some of them away. While my daughter was there his girlfriends told her I was all these bad names,ect..... and she hasn't met me,we only spoke on the phone one time when I was with him,and she was with another guy. I was nice to her so it's crazy she'd be calling me names,ect......
she thinks I want him back,but I told him If he was with KC again I won't ever take him back,and I won't!
I am blessed to be free of this man,amen.
Thanks for your kindness and advice!!!:smile:

[quaist]

@kendal: I'm sure you did the right thing, and I wish you good luck, may the next relationship be better. Just ignore his girlfriend (KC?), I know such persons too, don't take them serious, because that's what they want. :wink:

[kendal]

yA', i BELIEVE YOU ARE CORRECT!
SHE DOESN'T SEEM HAPPY. SHE IS CALLED KC. HER REAL NAME IS
KEIRSTEN SHE SAYS.
SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AT ME AND SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE
DID TO MAKE ME NOT LIKE HER,BUT HER ANGER MAY BE CAUSED BY HER
UNHAPPINESS?
i AGREE WITH YOU HOWEVER. THANKS FOR YOUR HONESTY!

[Timothy Leary]

Every heart is different.

[carissakayb]

A very long time :( X 56755

[kendal]

Yes, it can take awhile,I agree with that for sure after this experience,but it helped knowing the truth after all the months that went by.

Every heart is indeed different,this is also very true too!
Thanks for your help everyone!
I am doing much better now,and I am happier.

[vballer8]

I think that the time period all depends on how much you loved the person and how important he or she was in your life. I think that if you truly loved someone then you never fully get over the loss because your heart carries that little chunk of love with it throughout life. It helps you to grow and to remember great memories. You never know, maybe your paths will cross again.

[vballer8]

this is a continuation of my last post, i sent it before i was done and didnt get to finish my thought....:) what i wanted to say was in general to anyone or any situation that when you love someone to never give up hope if you want to be together because some day your paths may cross again...it is all up to God and his plan for your live.

[kendal]

this is a continuation of my last post, i sent it before i was done and didnt get to finish my thought....:) what i wanted to say was in general to anyone or any situation that when you love someone to never give up hope if you want to be together because some day your paths may cross again...it is all up to God and his plan for your live.


Your post is very kind,and very uplifting! It is very positive.
I really don't feel the same for him anymore. He has made that
impossible. He's not a man I could ever trust again,but I did love
him greatly.I believe there are many times when people truly love
one another,they find each other again however. It is always best
to see the brighter side,especially when both people were in love
with each other,because that means there is hope for the future.
In my case,this man is very repulsive to me. "The only " way I
could ever believe in him again is if he truly desired a relationship
with honesty and wisdom,and decided to be a good and fair person.
I have changed the way I feel about him,but if he were a good man,
I'd at least think about being his friend.
He was very bad,and did alot of mean and hurtful things.
he has to get past himself and desire help,but I know I am not the one
who can help him.
Thank you so much though,for your kind words and your ray of sunshine
in these wise words of yours,because many times it does happen this
way! In my case,not,but in many cases it does,and it will again!
Many blessings to you always!!! :smile:

[quaist]

kendal, I'm glad to hear you feel a bit better now. I think you should give everything time, be patient. Don't get into a friendship/relationship with him too soon, because the feelings between him and you are too big at the moment. Just wait, and don't get attached to him too soon, because then the desire won't stop. A person can do very mean things to you, but if your heart isn't attached to this person, it won't hurt you very much. The most important thing now is: Time.

I pray for you, good luck, sunshine. :wink:

[kendal]

kendal, I'm glad to hear you feel a bit better now. I think you should give everything time, be patient. Don't get into a friendship/relationship with him too soon, because the feelings between him and you are too big at the moment. Just wait, and don't get attached to him too soon, because then the desire won't stop. A person can do very mean things to you, but if your heart isn't attached to this person, it won't hurt you very much. The most important thing now is: Time.

I pray for you, good luck, sunshine. :wink:

Thanks so very much!
Yes,I agree with you 100%!!!
I can use all the prayers I can get,too!
Thank you,you have touched my heart,
and i know God is with you!!!
May he bless you mightily,and all those
here who have been so kind to me,and
gave me answers to this difficult question.
Many blessings sent to all of you!:smile: