Shrike Team #1: Fruits of Redemption

[jpholding]

It's going up this very moment....eat up. :teeth: There's also new material in the intro area and one revamped parody item.

[Darth Executor]

:banana: I'm off to read it now.

[Darth Executor]

Cliffhanger... :thumbd:

Good story though. And Eidolon looks hilarious with his hood off.

[jpholding]

Cliffhanger... :thumbd:

Get used to it. :hehe: RP2 will end with a triple cliffhanger now that I've made some changes...

Good story though. And Eidolon looks hilarious with his hood off.

Well hey...he sure didn't anticipate being immortal, did he? :wink: I think it's too convenient that some of these immortal being characters out there just happen to look like they're imposingly immortal. Before he became immortal, Eidolon was just an everyday joe out for eternal life, and that's what he looks like -- just a typical schlep who would otherwise be watching sports on the televisor if he hadn't happened to do the original sin thing one day. :teeth: Why should he be imposingly perfect just because he can't be killed? Hence the scene in the park with Brom.

[Darth Executor]

Get used to it. :hehe: RP2 will end with a triple cliffhanger now that I've made some changes...

:no:

Speaking of Brom, he looks awesome in the new team pic. Much better than the old one.

[jpholding]

:no:

Well, the better news is that I'm getting faster at this stuff...and RP3 will wrap up all three of the cliffhangers there...

ST#1 though is a longer story that will take at least 4 editions to finish. It'll take that long to tie together all the elements.

Speaking of Brom, he looks awesome in the new team pic. Much better than the old one.

I'll have to say that I had much less in this one that I was displeased with artwise. The old skills are coming back slowly. What I have of RP2 so far (up to page 18) is looking darned good. Oh heck...it's tradition; here's page 1. It's about a month and a half after the end of the last story and Snowdrop and Brimstone are wrapping up their Range Patrol training.

[Darth Executor]

ST#1 though is a longer story that will take at least 4 editions to finish. It'll take that long to tie together all the elements.

I'm guessing there won't be any new members joining meanwhile.



I'll have to say that I had much less in this one that I was displeased with artwise. The old skills are coming back slowly. What I have of RP2 so far (up to page 18) is looking darned good. Oh heck...it's tradition; here's page 1. It's about a month and a half after the end of the last story and Snowdrop and Brimstone are wrapping up their Range Patrol training.

Hmm, I'm thinking of drawing another fan art piece. I haven't felt like doing anything during the past week since I've been sick and the cold is worse than usual. No Sheila this time though, I'm thinking of drawing either Eidolon or Brom.

[jpholding]

I'm guessing there won't be any new members joining meanwhile.

Yep. Expect to see Tyk-Jyn Rayana only after this storyline is wrapped up, say about ST5 or 6. Then Molinist in 6 or 7. That's also about the time Claw of Vengeance will start....and by the way, expect Shrike Team 4 or 5 to be a full crossover with Range Patrol...all 8 of the current members from both teams in one setting.

No Sheila this time though, I'm thinking of drawing either Eidolon or Brom.

I bet I can guess which you'll do. :teeth:

Back tomorrow.

[Darth Executor]

I bet I can guess which you'll do. :teeth:


I bet you can't. :rasberry:

[jpholding]

Awful quiet in here! :hehe: I'd better liven things up. Here's a little game for everyone reading the story. I've inserted a couple of allusions to Range Patrol #1 in Shrike Team #1 -- they could be verbal or visual. Let's see if you can find them. :wink:

[Darth Executor]

Awful quiet in here! :hehe: I'd better liven things up. Here's a little game for everyone reading the story. I've inserted a couple of allusions to Range Patrol #1 in Shrike Team #1 -- they could be verbal or visual. Let's see if you can find them. :wink:

I'm guessing they're more subtle than "Readers of the first Range Patrol story will recall "rights of speech" as something mentioned by Annabelle Ketterling (Snowdrop)."

[jpholding]

I'm guessing they're more subtle than "Readers of the first Range Patrol story will recall "rights of speech" as something mentioned by Annabelle Ketterling (Snowdrop)."

Yep. They do not involve any of the social commentary notes, nor commonplace references such as the one Felicity made to Sanslorians. (By the way, do expect to see a Sanslorian -- or two -- in the next story.)

[Darth Executor]

I've got a new game to play so I'll look some more later. I did find this though:

http://www.tektoonics.com/intro/shriketoon1/shriketoon1-25.html

http://www.tektoonics.com/intro/rangtoon1/rangtoon1-34.html

Where both Brom and Annabelle are commenting on never having seen that fruit before (although it seems to be a different fruit).

[jpholding]

Where both Brom and Annabelle are commenting on never having seen that fruit before (although it seems to be a different fruit).

Correct. :thumb: Although, the fruit Brom holds IS the same as the one Sevrin holds (without the stem), and the one Annabelle holds is the same one that is in Brom's basket (which he later mixes up with the selalighi's fruit).

I'm going for a haircut. We'll see if anyone else can find one...

[LilPunkishOfTerror]

Hmm, who's that in the audience behind the contestants on page 44? :smile:

[jpholding]

:hehe:


(by the way, too darned long line at the haircut place)

[Darth Executor]

Hmm, who's that in the audience behind the contestants on page 44? :smile:

Sheila looks kinda crosseyed. :hrm:

[jpholding]

Sheila looks kinda crosseyed. :hrm:

Of course. She has no idea how she got all the way on the other side of the world. :lol:

[Christy]

Hmm, who's that in the audience behind the contestants on page 44? :smile:

I don't see anybody from Range Patrol in there

[Darth Executor]

I don't see anybody from Range Patrol in there

Sheila is there. At least in body anyway. :lolo:

[{Tim}]

Oh it's up already! That was quick. :wink:

Now to go read it...

[jpholding]

So far no one seems to be making any connections with the story hints I dropped in. :teeth: Good. Wouldn't want it to be TOO easy...

[Darth Executor]

So far no one seems to be making any connections with the story hints I dropped in. :teeth: Good. Wouldn't want it to be TOO easy...

You said a couple. I got one and Punkish Got one so I assumed there aren't any more. :teeth:

[jpholding]

You said a couple. I got one and Punkish Got one so I assumed there aren't any more. :teeth:

:duh: Gah. Sorry, not those. I mean hints about what the future stories will include. Like your guess about Sheila being Hearthstone's Virgin Mary.

Those two allusions were all, though.

[Darth Executor]

:duh: Gah. Sorry, not those. I mean hints about what the future stories will include. Like your guess about Sheila being Hearthstone's Virgin Mary.

Those two allusions were all, though.

Well, the only thing I know for sure is that whatever device is keeping Hearthstone's weather calm is gonna get busted. I'm also curious about the barbarian Brom. Does he time travel and become some sort of leader in the past?

[JSDileo]

It's going up this very moment....eat up. :teeth: There's also new material in the intro area and one revamped parody item.

It was OK. It had a good plot and good animation, but the dialogue was a bit cheesy at parts. It was good overall.:yes:

[TuckEverlasting]

I just finished reading it. :thumb:

-loved the way the detective looked
-'I'm an Athlete First Class'... sounds funny
-loved the picture of S'Nay through the fish-eye lens
-the buccaneer captain looks cool
-the pun! LOLOLOLOLOL :ahem::rofl:

[Darth Executor]

It was OK. It had a good plot and good animation, but the dialogue was a bit cheesy at parts. It was good overall.:yes:

Brom's comment about ninjas was by far the cheesiest part.

[TuckEverlasting]

Brom's comment about ninjas was by far the cheesiest part.

Those comments are what makes it good! The minute it takes itself too seriously is when I stop reading it. :thumbd:

[{Tim}]

Those comments are what makes it good! The minute it takes itself too seriously is when I stop reading it. :thumbd:
:yeahthat:

Since when did hearthstone have garlic, anyway? Meh, I guess it's just the 'closest translation'... :tongue:

Oh yeah, and I would *love* to see what that pun would be in their own language. I find it hard to imagine something "much worse" than that... :ahem: :lol:

[jpholding]

Well, the only thing I know for sure is that whatever device is keeping Hearthstone's weather calm is gonna get busted. I'm also curious about the barbarian Brom. Does he time travel and become some sort of leader in the past?

Plus two for you, sonny. :thumb: I don't mind cuz the story's so complex little bits like that hardly give away anything. You, however (Darth) already know who one of the players in that drama is/will be because of your contribution to the RP storyline.

As for the ninja thing, I put it in because someone here linked to that "kill a mockingbird" thing when I said I'd include pirates. Remember that? :wink:

It was OK. It had a good plot and good animation, but the dialogue was a bit cheesy at parts

Anything in particular? My use of cheese tends to correspond more or less to satiric allusions to something else. :teeth: As above.


loved the way the detective looked

Det. Tyra will be around for at least two more stories. And she (like much of what is in the story) is not all she seems. :wink:


Since when did hearthstone have garlic, anyway? Meh, I guess it's just the 'closest translation'...

Gee, so someone took the trouble to translate the Wingdings? :lol: I wondered if that would happen. All except for Chi Chi's initial greeting can be back-translated into something, but the garlic one is the only one with any sort of humorous intent.

Oh yeah, and I would *love* to see what that pun would be in their own language. I find it hard to imagine something "much worse" than that

Well, it has to do with the shape of the ideograms. :rasberry:

[Christy]

Sheila is there. At least in body anyway. :lolo:

Well, I didn't think it looked like Sheila. She looks like she has a perm and thinner face. I was just thinking that it was another Elapine :uhoh: :doh: :shrug: :blush:

[Darth Executor]

Plus two for you, sonny. :thumb: I don't mind cuz the story's so complex little bits like that hardly give away anything.


I got a lot more than a couple of bits out of the new one, actually. I just haven't put the pieces together yet.

[{Tim}]

Gee, so someone took the trouble to translate the Wingdings? :lol: I wondered if that would happen. All except for Chi Chi's initial greeting can be back-translated into something, but the garlic one is the only one with any sort of humorous intent.:ahem:
Actually, the first thing Chi Chi said was, "jjskw0 sjwma jfghjw9oe". :tongue:

Although, I wonder a little about p.67 (talking about the unlimited favour token)... closest I can tell, he says "sos you have one of those". :huh: Did I translate it wrong?

Well, it has to do with the shape of the ideograms. :rasberry:
:lol:


As for the ninja thing, I put it in because someone here linked to that "kill a mockingbird" thing when I said I'd include pirates. Remember that? :yes:
That's why I liked it.

[jpholding]

:
Although, I wonder a little about p.67 (talking about the unlimited favour token)... closest I can tell, he says "sos you have one of those". :huh: Did I translate it wrong?

Should be "wow you have one of those". :stunned: As for the other, I didn't get the idea to hide messages in the Chet'lyn's speech until after Chi Chi's first comment. We're not done with the Chet'lyn, either, by the way...not by a longshot! :thumb:



I'm making tremendous progress on inking of RP #2. Up to page 30 already, of what turns out to be only about 70 (dunno how I'm miscounting on these!); though on many of the 70 it's two rows of panels rather than just one, so it's actually near as long as the first one if not longer.

Coloration is slower...I just did page 6 (taking the day off from work today mostly) which includes the Sheila baby pic that I have as my current avatar.

[jpholding]

A few thoughts on the ST #1 story, since I have some time here...

The oldest part of the story is the page where Brom gets beaned by the plant. I built the rest of it around that scene well over 20 years ago back when Brom was still a bird and not a raccoon/Prycene. Back then he was a type of bird called a peppershrike. It's not hard to see how I've still used the word to design some of the characters' names, including his sister. :teeth:

Eidolon originally wasn't part of the tale back then. As the story evolved he first appeared at the midway point of the larger story (in what would now be late in Shrike Team #2, after the Von Lucre issue was resolved). Putting him in from the very start is another step in how the story has changed.

Von Lucre I had cast at first as a pig rather than a Tilkrig. I didn't have any conception of the Tilkrig species back then, either. It's easy to see how much Range Patrol concepts have helped remold the original story, and also ironic since Sheila and her group are only recent creations, of the last few months. The whole RP series has been dovetailed into the older ST concepts.

The giant robot was originally a strong henchman of Von Lucre's. That needed to go because it begged the obvious question, "Why doesn't he just have his own guy enter the athletic contest?" Having the robot supplied by the Cartel is of course a newer element.

The hardest plot mechanism to work out was getting the selalighi's fruit in Brom's hands. The idea evolved from him being a boorish sort who ate the fruit after getting beaned, as a sort of snide retort to Felicity; to him having a couple of pieces of "normal" fruit in his pockets he just happened to have for lunch; to the current idea of the fruit basket as a gift from Von Lucre. The irony is far stronger now and also serves to emphasize Von Lucre's egotistical pettiness.

Having the Tilkrig girl come to Brom at the end was a last minute change, a good one, I think, that allowed for further insight into Von Lucre's treatment of those he held in subjection. I was originally going to have the Chet'lyn go find Brom, but that left it open for them to volunteer to be on the rescue mission with or without Brom's consent or advice. It's also not the last we'll see of the Tilkrig girl; she'll be back for an interlude in Shrike Team #2.

Anyone out there want to suggest a name for her, by the way? :teeth:



In other news....colored p. 16 of RP #2, and up to p. 40 inking. There will be a sort of tribute to Winace in the section I'm working on, since he liked rabbits so much, and before he left us, said some positive things about my toons: An Elapine named Raglen will play a key role in the story.

[JSDileo]

Hey JP,

I assume you still want examples of cheesy lines in Shrike team.:teeth: Sorry for waiting to respond 'til so late. Anyways, I can't really think of specific examples.:outtie: I just remember that there were some parts where I went, "That's kinda corny." I understand that the part with Eidolon was intended to be funny, and it was genuinely humorous. :yes:

[Darth Executor]

Anyone out there want to suggest a name for her, by the way? :teeth:


LakeGeorgeMan :teeth:

[Darth Executor]

Oh yeah, you get to pick what I should draw next:

1) Necromancer Eidolon
2) Evil Annabelle
3) Titan Bimf (if you want this one, you'll also have to pick between a fire, lighting or earth theme)

I'll get around to doing all of them eventually though.

[jpholding]

I assume you still want examples of cheesy lines in Shrike team.:teeth: Sorry for waiting to respond 'til so late. Anyways, I can't really think of specific examples.:outtie:

Aw thanks a lot. :glare: Have some cheese. Limburger. :poke:


Oh yeah, you get to pick what I should draw next:

1) Necromancer Eidolon
2) Evil Annabelle
3) Titan Bimf (if you want this one, you'll also have to pick between a fire, lighting or earth theme)

Oh for pete's sake man, you keep touching on ideas close to ones I already have (1 and 2). :rant: :lol: Do 3 then and make it an earth theme, since he can already eat rocks and metal.

[Darth Executor]

Oh for pete's sake man, you keep touching on ideas close to ones I already have (1 and 2). :rant: :lol:

I'm curious to see how you'd draw Eidolon as a necromancer actually. Any chance of seeing it soon or is it part of a story?

Do 3 then and make it an earth theme, since he can already eat rocks and metal.

Ok. *grumbles and tries to remember what his earth titan looks like*

[JSDileo]

Aw thanks a lot. :glare: Have some cheese. Limburger. :poke:

Hey, I said it was good overall; it had good plot and good animation, and some cheesy dialogue. I'll make sure not to be honest next time.:ahem:

[jpholding]

Hey, I said it was good overall; it had good plot and good animation, and some cheesy dialogue. I'll make sure not to be honest next time.:ahem:

:teeth: Bwah! I WANT honesty but I can't improve unless I have a target to shoot at. :hehe: Now ya got it so I'll look back at it and wonder where the cheese is, and that'll drive me CUCKOO!



I'm curious to see how you'd draw Eidolon as a necromancer actually. Any chance of seeing it soon or is it part of a story?

It's part of a story a LONG way down the road...it won't be as a necromancer in particular, but you touched on something I do have in mind...

[JSDileo]

:teeth: Bwah! I WANT honesty but I can't improve unless I have a target to shoot at. :hehe: Now ya got it so I'll look back at it and wonder where the cheese is, and that'll drive me CUCKOO!

Woops! :hehe: My work here is done. :hehe::teeth::hehe::tongue::hehe::tongue::hehe::tongue::hehe::teeth::hehe:


OK, this is off-topic, but I was wondering, do you have any recommendations for commentaries of the books of Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah? Just wondering.:yes:

[Christy]

Was "he can stuff himself with sald oil" one of them? :blush:

[ShadowLands]

It's going up this very moment....eat up. :teeth: There's also new material in the intro area and one revamped parody item.
I know it's a rather late comment, but the newest story is great. Looking forward to reading more.

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1001.html

Revamped page 1 only. No new narrative material but did add establishing shots and clean it up generally.

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1002.html

Redid page 2. Added some establishing shots but otherwise the story is unchanged.

[jpholding]

Redid page 3. No new narrative or changes.

[The Curtmudgeon]

You could have at least posted a link... :rock:

The (yeah, I know how to navigate there but you have posted links before) Curtmudgeon

[Spheniscine]

I believe "two but hood" should be "two-bit hood"...

[jpholding]

I believe "two but hood" should be "two-bit hood"...

Praise M'kai for copy and paste....

[JonLanceBarker]

Praise M'kai for copy and paste....

:hehe:

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1004.html

Redid page 4....no new narrative.

[Leonhard]

Nifty! I really wish there was a way to do a comparison ala before and after. Btw, is it possible that you could send me a frame of the old thimble nosed Annabelle?

[jpholding]

Nifty! I really wish there was a way to do a comparison ala before and after. Btw, is it possible that you could send me a frame of the old thimble nosed Annabelle?

II'm emailing you the old p. 4 graphics...where was the old Annabelle at?

[Leonhard]

II'm emailing you the old p. 4 graphics...where was the old Annabelle at?

Well you quickly widened her nose, but try the first meeting between her and Sheila, I think the frame where she warns her about not getting too close to her (speaking in her own tongue) and the one where she's looking dubiously at the hoverboard offered to her.

Thanks for the old images, you really did some good improvements. Nice going JP! :thumb:

[Andius]

Mmmhhh, I do sorta miss the old look of Lady Hornacek when she had pointed eye ends. Really gave her a more dashing look. Admittedly though, the way JPH draws her now is definately more fitting with bigger and rounder eyes.

Btw, good job on the new angles, and angle corrections for the characters, especially the ones where Lady Hornacek's honker totally dissapeared when looking from the front. :P

[jpholding]

Well you quickly widened her nose, but try the first meeting between her and Sheila, I think the frame where she warns her about not getting too close to her (speaking in her own tongue) and the one where she's looking dubiously at the hoverboard offered to her.



I think I know what you mean but I may not have that exact pic. Sample on the way.

[Leonhard]

Hmmm, yes that's basically it. Thanks JP. I also found a another thimble nosed Annabelle (http://www.tektoonics.com/snowdrop1b.jpg).

[jpholding]

No, no update to ST #1; but I decided it was time to mention my new project, as has been noted by my avatar, and I didn't see a need to start a new thread for it.

You can actually blame Richard Carrier for this one. :hehe:

Thanks to him, I found out that you can publish with lulu.com free; they turn all expenses over to buyers. So I'm taking advantage of that to do a project I've had in mind for a while.

Some have noted that the last avatar looked like something out of Seuss. Correct. My project is titled Green Cheese and Haiku, and it's a parody of -- well, you know. The whole thing is done in haiku format (3 lines: first and third lines, 5 syllables; 2nd line, 7 syllables -- rhyming not required, but I did mostly make the first and third lines rhyme) If you're one of those people who wished Sam would have just shut up and left the poor guy alone, you'll like this one.

Here's a sample below. I hope to have all the inks done by the end of next week....then I can get back to working on Hearthstone again.

BTW, Hearthstone subbers are getting a free preview of the whole book. :hehe:

[T-Shirt Ninja]

I like it, JP. :thumb:

[Darth Executor]

well, you know.

I don't. :huh:

[jpholding]

I don't. :huh:

You don't know Green Eggs and Ham? :twitch:

[Darth Executor]

You don't know Green Eggs and Ham? :twitch:

Not by name.

Hey, I didn't grow up in NA, gimme a break. :rasberry:

[Andius]

OOOoooOOooo.

I so can't wait. Having grown up with Dr. Suess when I was a kid. ^^

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1005.html

Revamped page 5.

[Andius]

Aaww, one of my favorite lines are gone... :bawl:

"If you think are still able to stand up to me. Let this serve as a reminder as to why you are NOT!! (BBBAAAMM)

What warranted such leniency in words towards Gen'a'too?

[jpholding]

Aaww, one of my favorite lines are gone... :bawl:

"If you think are still able to stand up to me. Let this serve as a reminder as to why you are NOT!! (BBBAAAMM)

What warranted such leniency in words towards Gen'a'too?

Meh....I figured he was talking too much. :uhoh:

[Andius]

Meh....I figured he was talking too much. :uhoh:

Mmhhh, fair enough.

Actions do speak for themselves. Especially when there is energy being projected towards wreaking righteous havoc, hehe.

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1006.html

Redid part of page 6. I thought a couple of panels looked good enough to keep.

[The Curtmudgeon]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1006.html

Redid part of page 6. I thought a couple of panels looked good enough to keep.

Fifth panel: "Go on it" should probably be "Go on in".
Eighth panel: "keep in mind you that there are ..." should technically be "keep in mind, you, that there are ..."

The (pesky little commas) Curtmudgeon

[jpholding]

Fifth panel: "Go on it" should probably be "Go on in".
Eighth panel: "keep in mind you that there are ..." should technically be "keep in mind, you, that there are ..."

The (pesky little commas) Curtmudgeon

Actually the "you" shouldn't even be there.

How come you missed that 3-4 years ago? :rasberry:

[The Curtmudgeon]

Actually the "you" shouldn't even be there.

How come you missed that 3-4 years ago? :rasberry:

I actually debated this time whether it was worth reporting or not, so obviously "last time" I decided it wasn't.

The (IOW, I didn't miss it, I merely missed reporting it) Curtmudgeon

[Andius]

The guard definately has a more intimidating look, but still not enough to have Brom make him look like a fool in the end, hehehe.

Revamp is definately comin around really well.

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/shriketoon1/shriketoon1007.html

Redid page 7...no new material.

[Andius]

I like the change in her awakening, definately adds a more dramatic tone. As a matter of fact, the whole thing now feels a tad darker and mysterious, and it definatley works. Did you play around with the darker lighting? :)

Keep up the awesome work JP.

[jpholding]

I like the change in her awakening, definately adds a more dramatic tone. As a matter of fact, the whole thing now feels a tad darker and mysterious, and it definatley works. Did you play around with the darker lighting? :)

Perhaps so. I was just getting my feet wet again when I did the early version; I think it's just my instincts kicking in.

New version of the latest project on the way to you BTW,

[Andius]

Perhaps so. I was just getting my feet wet again when I did the early version; I think it's just my instincts kicking in.

New version of the latest project on the way to you BTW,

Well, it works wonderfully. I mean hey, I think I would feel the same if I would wake up to find my house being turned into a mess, and not knowing how it occurred, and being incapable to recall it at all, all would seem dark and mysterious by my reckoning.

EDIT: Project recieved. :)