jpholding
January 4th 2006, 02:42 PM
After this three more categories: 1) for non-Christian religious person; 2) person indeterminate beliefs (if I have no idea if the person is atheist or what) and a website award. But here are the atheist ones. It was very hard to pick just 6. Try to keep only the entry itself in mind and not other stupid stuff these people may have said.
Jim Eisele on Theistic Atheists:
You think that you want to go to heaven when you die. Well, so does an atheist. Who’s to say that an atheism god doesn’t exist?
Brooks Trubee Joins the Society for the Analogically Impaired:
The following was taken from the May issue of "J.P. Holding's" Screwballs of the month feature. In it, "Holding" makes a strange comparison: Dan Barker was a Christian preacher who lost his faith in Christianity and waited a few months before announcing his loss of faith to his friends, his neighbors and his congregation (Barker admits he didn't have the courage to do so). "Holding" compares this situation to Nazi concentration camp guards realizing that murdering Jews was wrong but then continuing to murder Jews for months regardless. It would seem that Holding is comparing a person preaching Christianity to Nazis murdering Jews. Just as the person in this instance who preaches Christianity and knows it is wrong but continues doing it, the Nazis in Holding's example who murder Jews and know it is wrong but continue doing it.
Johnny Skeptic Solves the Loaves and Fishes Miracle:
What miracles? Today, millions of Christians disagree as to what constitutes a miracle healing. People living back then most certainly would not have had a better chance of discerning what constitutes a miracle healing. Regarding the feeding of the 5,000, if anything happened at all, and there aren't any good reasons at all to assume that something did happen, a tunnel might have been dug in order to transport the food up into a tent.
Farrell Till Punishes J. P. Holding:
James Patrick Holding is a phony name used by ________, who began using it while he was still working as a librarian at Lake Correctional Institute near Clermont, Florida. I have long suspected that _____ had a dishonest motive for using this phony name, but I won't recount now my reasons for suspecting this. Here, I just want to inform readers that Brett Palmer used _____'s "penname" throughout the article below, because he told me, as he also said in a footnote at the end of his article, that he wanted to focus on the issue of the biblical record of Jericho's destruction and not on irrelevant matters pertaining to _____'s name. Readers will see that Palmer was very civil throughout his reply to _____, so despite my policy of using _____'s real name, I am allowing this article to be posted here. If _____ replies to it in his usual sarcastic, insulting way, I will edit the article to remove his "penname" and replace it with his real one, and I will not allow future articles that reference him to be published unless his real name is used. If ______ wants to conduct himself civilly, I will gladly reciprocate, but if he ants to give us just more of the same, I will be glad to show him that I have some talent for sarcasm too.
Mike Ledo on Foot Fetishes:
In the story of Uriah, David tells Uriah to go home and "wash his feet." Jesus washes the feet of the apostles. I think that pretty well sums it up without going into any detail. ;)
Sharon Mooney Imitates Mojo Jojo:
In case you missed it Dee Dee, scientists have repeatedly stated the rabbit does not "chew" on that pellet. That's all a cud is, is a wad of something chewed on --like chewing tobacco. The pellet is swallowed whole. Caecal pellets have nothing in common with "cud chewing". They're not chewed. If the rabbit set there and chewed and chewed and chewed on the pellet, it would be called cud chewing. But it does not do that.
Jim Eisele on Theistic Atheists:
You think that you want to go to heaven when you die. Well, so does an atheist. Who’s to say that an atheism god doesn’t exist?
Brooks Trubee Joins the Society for the Analogically Impaired:
The following was taken from the May issue of "J.P. Holding's" Screwballs of the month feature. In it, "Holding" makes a strange comparison: Dan Barker was a Christian preacher who lost his faith in Christianity and waited a few months before announcing his loss of faith to his friends, his neighbors and his congregation (Barker admits he didn't have the courage to do so). "Holding" compares this situation to Nazi concentration camp guards realizing that murdering Jews was wrong but then continuing to murder Jews for months regardless. It would seem that Holding is comparing a person preaching Christianity to Nazis murdering Jews. Just as the person in this instance who preaches Christianity and knows it is wrong but continues doing it, the Nazis in Holding's example who murder Jews and know it is wrong but continue doing it.
Johnny Skeptic Solves the Loaves and Fishes Miracle:
What miracles? Today, millions of Christians disagree as to what constitutes a miracle healing. People living back then most certainly would not have had a better chance of discerning what constitutes a miracle healing. Regarding the feeding of the 5,000, if anything happened at all, and there aren't any good reasons at all to assume that something did happen, a tunnel might have been dug in order to transport the food up into a tent.
Farrell Till Punishes J. P. Holding:
James Patrick Holding is a phony name used by ________, who began using it while he was still working as a librarian at Lake Correctional Institute near Clermont, Florida. I have long suspected that _____ had a dishonest motive for using this phony name, but I won't recount now my reasons for suspecting this. Here, I just want to inform readers that Brett Palmer used _____'s "penname" throughout the article below, because he told me, as he also said in a footnote at the end of his article, that he wanted to focus on the issue of the biblical record of Jericho's destruction and not on irrelevant matters pertaining to _____'s name. Readers will see that Palmer was very civil throughout his reply to _____, so despite my policy of using _____'s real name, I am allowing this article to be posted here. If _____ replies to it in his usual sarcastic, insulting way, I will edit the article to remove his "penname" and replace it with his real one, and I will not allow future articles that reference him to be published unless his real name is used. If ______ wants to conduct himself civilly, I will gladly reciprocate, but if he ants to give us just more of the same, I will be glad to show him that I have some talent for sarcasm too.
Mike Ledo on Foot Fetishes:
In the story of Uriah, David tells Uriah to go home and "wash his feet." Jesus washes the feet of the apostles. I think that pretty well sums it up without going into any detail. ;)
Sharon Mooney Imitates Mojo Jojo:
In case you missed it Dee Dee, scientists have repeatedly stated the rabbit does not "chew" on that pellet. That's all a cud is, is a wad of something chewed on --like chewing tobacco. The pellet is swallowed whole. Caecal pellets have nothing in common with "cud chewing". They're not chewed. If the rabbit set there and chewed and chewed and chewed on the pellet, it would be called cud chewing. But it does not do that.