for ex-Christians: Can it be hard to leave, or why is it hard to leave?

[autoartist]

I am curious--as I question my own faith--, why can it be so difficult to leave Christianity?

[LGM]

I am curious--as I question my own faith--, why can it be so difficult to leave Christianity?

Well first off...if you're a Christian...you're not supposed to be posting in this forum. But you'll find that naturalists here are much more accepting of Christians speaking their minds in our forum...then vice versa.

It is difficult to leave Christianity just like it is difficult to leave any religious cult or gang or political organization or job...

...because you have a lot invested in it. Because it provides you support and fellowship. Because you can be ostracized for leaving it by friends and family who are still a part of it. Because you have nothing to replace it.

"naturalism" isn't a religion. We don't have churches or rituals or holidays or hymns to sing off-key. We do have critical thinking skills, and skepticism, and we don't have to defend the mythology of our ancestors as "sacred", or rationalize why we believe the unbelievable.

[Beanieboy]

I'm not sure I understand the question.
Why can it be so difficult?
It's complicated.

Take me.
I was raised in a Christian home.
I went to Sunday school, vacation bible school, kawanis, Lenten services, Good Friday Services, my whole family and relatives sang, "Praise God, from whom all blessings flow" before eating, my family prayed before every meal, I went to a Lutheran College, I know a lot about the bible...

So, it's what I have engrained in me.
Secondly, I'm in my 40s, and my mother STILL asks me where I go to church, my sister married a missionary and asks me about how my faith is going, my family thinks I am going to hell...

It's not like deciding to give up meat, or deciding what to have on your pizza.
You are dealing with the culture you grew up with, the fear instilled within you, the guilt, and social pressure, while still trying to remain true to yourself.

[Rusty T]

B/f I answer, can I post here? I'm in the "I really don't know, and I really don't care" stage. I guess I'm an apathetic agnostic. Can one be agnostic toward agnosticism?

rusty

[Mentalist]

I've never been a Christian, or religous at all, but lots of people find change difficult, some people find it more difficult than others and of course the bigger the change the more difficult it can be. Things with emotional attatchment and time investment are especially hard to let go of. It's hard enough clearing the junk out the cupboards sometimes not alone overturning a long held belief and social system. Some Christians think that atheists must have a very bleak outlook on life, and that being an atheist means you have no purpose anymore, and so the thought of crossing over can be unsettling. There is also the fear that you could be wrong and that de-converting will end you up being BBQed by a guy in a red PVC suit with horns and a tail, and the peer pressure of those around you if you are i na strong Chrsitian commnuity. Those are my thoughts at least, I'm sure it's rather different for different people.

What is it that worries you?

The thought you might be wrong and Christianity was in fact true?
Peer pressure from those around you to remain a Christian?
That atheism is an unattractive prospect to you?

[Mentalist]

B/f I answer, can I post here? I'm in the "I really don't know, and I really don't care" stage. I guess I'm an apathetic agnostic. Can one be agnostic toward agnosticism?

rusty

I suppose that is possible, in the sense that you coulld believe that is is impossible to know either way whether agnoticism towards god is correct or not. I don't mind you posting here, but I'm only new and I don't make the rules, whatever they are.

[C. D. Ward]

I don't make the rules either, Rusty, but I think we should welcome input from anyone, regardless of where they stand on the "God - No God" continuum.

I would much prefer a "no preaching" area devoted to Naturalism than a "no theist" one anyway.

OT: Paradigm change is never easy, especially when the person undergoing the change has held to a particular paradigm for a long time. For myself, the transformation from believer to unbeliever took several years. I wouldn't necessarily say that it was painful, but it was certainly not easy.

[Rusty T]

Okay, having been through the 'de-conversion' process b/f, long ago . . . and in a way still in it. . . it's hard, especially if you are coming from a faith background that puts a lot of emphasis on avoiding the pit of hell :)

Pretty soon you'll find that some friends will become more concerned about your eternal fate than with you in general. Just remember that this is their way of showing their love and concern - even if it can be annoying as heck. If you have an aversion to being pitied, prepare yourself.

rusty

[Seasanctuary]

As others have said, it's mostly a social loss. Christianity is a good excuse to hang out with a bunch of people you otherwise wouldn't.

[bandecoot]

B/f I answer, can I post here? I'm in the "I really don't know, and I really don't care" stage. I guess I'm an apathetic agnostic. Can one be agnostic toward agnosticism?

rusty

I dont mind if you post tizz. so if it means anything you are invited to post ,by me, for the duration of the thread. But you really should ask the OP who has no right to post here ....so its a legal quagmire.

Any Mods looking in. Lets just pretend this thread is invisible. fair enough?

[Beanieboy]

There's also the condescending, pitying way people look at you, like you are some kind of waif who lost his job, and if you would only see it like them...

It's a lot to deal with, but often, it feels like Santa Claus. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, but once you find the suit in your parents' closet, the Santa Claus you believed in, and the one that is, are very, very different.

But when people tell me to go back and believe, I feel like my 5 yr old brother is looking at me, telling me that he sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm a wake and when I've been bad or good, and if i don't believe, I won't get any presents.

But maybe we grow out of the need to receive presents and simply learn to give.

So, it's harder to go back than it is to leave.

[Minnesota]

autoartist

I was a twice baptized Christian, first as a Mormon and than, after going through two years of confirmation classes, a Lutheran. Fortunately, I had a questioning mind and was never so indoctrinated as to loose sight of Christianity's many failings and faults. So for me it was a no-brainer and very easy to step away from it. Faith has its place in the world, but when it comes head to head reason and fact it will always come in a distant third. Some people can't abide such a battle and are driven by need to side with faith, where as I welcome whatever claims it may present, because I'm fairly well versed in its assertions and how they are sometimes twisted, and have learned how to deal with them.

If you find it difficult to leave Christianity perhaps you're not ready. Don't do what you think is necessary, do what suits you. To me, Christianity has only one saving character--it gives strength to endure to those too weak to otherwise do so. Of course the same can be said of other religions, so in this respect Christianity is not at all unique.

If you are still looking for help in shedding Christianity I suggest you might start with Bertrand Russell's Why I am not a Christian, an older book, but one of the better ones.

[Kulindrichnus]

Some Christians think that atheists must have a very bleak outlook on life, and that being an atheist means you have no purpose anymore, and so the thought of crossing over can be unsettling.

The more I think about it the more I am sure that this bleak outlook is the reality. A lot of us talk about the wonder of nature and feeling a sense of awe; even Dawkins talks in this way. But I wonder if Dawkin's awesome universe isn't simply a product of Russell's terrifying one.

The reality of the universe is that it is terrifying, purposeless, and if you get hit by a bus tomorrow then that is the end of the road and it was just bad luck. But it won't make this any less true if we hide away in a faith. The trick is to understand that this is the way it is, and find a means by which to accept it. This is hard, extremely hard, and it is the reason why most of the world, particularly those that will go through it with the added burdens of poverty, are religious.

K

[SteveF]

The more I think about it the more I am sure that this bleak outlook is the reality. A lot of us talk about the wonder of nature and feeling a sense of awe; even Dawkins talks in this way. But I wonder if Dawkin's awesome universe isn't simply a product of Russell's terrifying one.

I manage to combine the two. I feel a sense of wonder/awe towards nature, but also terror that this feeling (and all my others) are very much finite.

[Ishmael]

There are many many stories of deconversion and the issues surrounding it at infidels.org and ex-christian.net, both will be helpful. I am actually reading a book about it, as I am still going through the whole process of decoversion and am happy to talk about my thoughts and feeling regarding the process.

I don't agree that that only loss is social, though that is true.

Anyway, the book is Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell. It's not a great book imo, but it does help one sort out thoughts and feelings.

[Beanieboy]

I sat on my balcony one summer night with girly drinks and talked to my Jewish neighbor about God. She said, "There HAS to be a God! I mean, otherwise, what is the point? Otherwise, who are your going to be accountable to?"

I said, "Let's imagine that you were somehow able to know for a fact that there was no God. Are you now going to start shooting heroin, or robbing banks, with the possibility of spending your life in jail? Are you going to start mistreating people for fun, simply because you don't have to worry about hell?"

"No," she said.

Would you really act ANY differently if there were no God? I mean, let's say that there is no God, so you are going to lie, and steal from friends, and be rude. That would mean that no one would want to be your friend, and you would isolate yourself. Now, if there were a God, you don't do those things because you don't want to isolate yourself, and need friends, not because it angers God."

"I suppose," she said. "But then life would be meaningless."

"Is friendship meaningless? Is enjoying chocolate cake meaningless, or hearing the birds, or dancing to a song you love, meaningless? Even if there is something after this, it's more of THIS. So, if you are acting like this life is just a bus stop until the Heaven Bus comes, you are simply going to have more of this life there, and have wasted what you have here now."

I've never understood why people look at this life and think, "You mean, THIS is it? It can't be. There has to be more to it."

But what do you think "Eternal life" is? Is more life.

I doubt that if there were an afterlife, that it will be angel servants waiting on us hand and foot while we eat chocolate cake for dinner, and sit on our fat behinds. That's how people see it - always summer, never tired, no work, no darkness, everything easy - all the things that our human bodies crave - sloth and gluttony.
But nothing good in life is easy, so why would a place of all goodness be easy?

It will be doing more of this, so if this life isn't much for you, if you aren't happy with this gift that God gave you, to simply be alive, and your unique soul, you are really going to be disappointed with the afterlife.

[Mentalist]

The more I think about it the more I am sure that this bleak outlook is the reality. A lot of us talk about the wonder of nature and feeling a sense of awe; even Dawkins talks in this way. But I wonder if Dawkin's awesome universe isn't simply a product of Russell's terrifying one.

The reality of the universe is that it is terrifying, purposeless, and if you get hit by a bus tomorrow then that is the end of the road and it was just bad luck. But it won't make this any less true if we hide away in a faith. The trick is to understand that this is the way it is, and find a means by which to accept it. This is hard, extremely hard, and it is the reason why most of the world, particularly those that will go through it with the added burdens of poverty, are religious.

K

I don't find the universe terrifying, maybe it helps that I've never thought otherwise, I'm not sure. Just because I have no reason to believe it was created or that there's anything controlling the universe doesn't mean I think it's bleak. Just because it's vast, cold, mostly empty and no one's in control doesn't scare me, I agree with Dawkins in that it's fascinating. The biggest drawback, I think, to my comparatively short life is not that it will have had no ultimate purpose or that I'm scared of death but that I we will miss so much of what is still to be learnt and discovered about the universe.

Regarding the percieved purposelessness of life. I just don't see the desire to have an authoritarian figure providing some ultimate purpose though, I'm quite happy with the fact the only meaning my life has is the meaning I give it.

Also, is is percieved that giving up god requires losing some sense or ultimate system of morality or justice. I accept that morality is subjective but I don't think the goddies do any better, the Euthyphro dilemma and divine command theory show the futility of trying to claim an objective morality system. The fact that Christians have tended to follow cultural changes when it comes to morality demonstrates that being a goddite doesn't seem to provide an ultimate moral compass. I also don't have an ultimate justice system, unless the fact that everyone dies counts. The justice system of Christianity is horrific though so there's not much reason not to drop that except for the selfish thought that you're currently on the good side of it of course :wink:

[autoartist]

Thank you all for the responses, links, and books.
I will investigate more.

I am sorry to have started this thread, but if you think about it is there a better place for this thread? I need help so I came to the place I thought best. But hey if it makes ya'll feel better I am not a christian I just like crosses..... :) I changed my sign.

Why I find it hard for me:

My mind says there is no god, but my heart/emotions says there is.
Ofcourse I think it has to do with my past, being Christian. Like some have said it is a shedding process and I guess that is what I am going through.

Also I ask myself if I don't have Christianity how will I have hope? How can I help someone who is hurting, as far as comforting them. Perhaps that is why I find it hard to leave. Sometimes I think I should just call myself Christain but live like the normal American Christian if you know what I mean. Like not practice it but just say I am....I know it seems kind of wack.

I think back when I got saved, about the experiance I had. My mind says I made that up some how, even though I wasn't going through anything bad or expecting it at that youth meeting one Friday night. My emotions say that it meant something and that it was real. What can I say I can't explain it (the night I got saved). I am not an emotional person. Note: I was saved 14 years ago.

[Ishmael]

Thank you all for the responses, links, and books.
I will investigate more.

I am sorry to have started this thread, but if you think about it is there a better place for this thread? I need help so I came to the place I thought best. But hey if it makes ya'll feel better I am not a christian I just like crosses..... :) I changed my sign.

Why I find it hard for me:

My mind says there is no god, but my heart/emotions says there is.
Ofcourse I think it has to do with my past, being Christian. Like some have said it is a shedding process and I guess that is what I am going through.

Also I ask myself if I don't have Christianity how will I have hope? How can I help someone who is hurting, as far as comforting them. Perhaps that is why I find it hard to leave. Sometimes I think I should just call myself Christain but live like the normal American Christian if you know what I mean. Like not practice it but just say I am....I know it seems kind of wack.

I think back when I got saved, about the experiance I had. My mind says I made that up some how, even though I wasn't going through anything bad or expecting it at that youth meeting one Friday night. My emotions say that it meant something and that it was real. What can I say I can't explain it (the night I got saved). I am not an emotional person. Note: I was saved 14 years ago.

You seem to have a romantic connection to Christianity. Anyway, the Christian stock reply to your dilemna in the last paragraph would be that your mind is playing tricks on you and that your heart knows the truth.

The truth is that you had an emotional experience that can be explained a number of ways, and you know that -- but that does not mean there is no god imo. For me, the fact that the Christian god cannot exist is self-evident although I am not an Atheist, I tend to have Diest tendencies instead. So it's not like leaving Christianity (or any other silly Theism) is a one-way ticket to Atheism.

[mentored1]

Hail and well met auto...

Your heart and emotions are the primal parts of your character, the parts closest to your "animal" - that instinctive being that wants to survive, that hungers to be alive. It is no surprise that such a part wants to reach for something to ensure its survival when the body stops being alive.

It's easier to deal with thoughts and ideas in oneself than it is to deal with emotions and passions - particularly those closest to our biological drives. Thus Christians war with lust: the battle of the sexual drive against the mores on sexual promiscuity. Thus they war with anger: the natural tendency to desire retribution or emote one's rage...

The emotion, passionate part of you will hold out a while - I've been agnostic for over a year now and I still feel the tug of guilt and the fear of damnation from my stint as a Christian. But as you mentioned your head knows better, you see things wrong with the picture...

You didn't make anything up - the conscious experience of Salvation is a very real experience: you did have it, after all. But remember and ask yourself what physical sensation, what evidence, did you receive that convinced you it was real? The evidence was only in feeling, in passion. I used to tell people that the "spirit bore witness" that night. Those things are internal and only have meaning when you lend your thoughts to them.

The drive to live past death is natural and wanting that to the point of causing a struggle within yourself is not delusional (IMHO). Letting go of that desire, that vision, is akin to the "animal" in you facing the distinct possibility of its own non-existence, its end. The mind creates the images needed to sustain Faith, lends its abilities to your emotions, and when you shut that feed down how can it be anything but confusion and troubling?

Take care and best wishes

Thank you all for the responses, links, and books.
I will investigate more.

I am sorry to have started this thread, but if you think about it is there a better place for this thread? I need help so I came to the place I thought best. But hey if it makes ya'll feel better I am not a christian I just like crosses..... :) I changed my sign.

Why I find it hard for me:

My mind says there is no god, but my heart/emotions says there is.
Ofcourse I think it has to do with my past, being Christian. Like some have said it is a shedding process and I guess that is what I am going through.

Also I ask myself if I don't have Christianity how will I have hope? How can I help someone who is hurting, as far as comforting them. Perhaps that is why I find it hard to leave. Sometimes I think I should just call myself Christain but live like the normal American Christian if you know what I mean. Like not practice it but just say I am....I know it seems kind of wack.

I think back when I got saved, about the experiance I had. My mind says I made that up some how, even though I wasn't going through anything bad or expecting it at that youth meeting one Friday night. My emotions say that it meant something and that it was real. What can I say I can't explain it (the night I got saved). I am not an emotional person. Note: I was saved 14 years ago.

[XaositectCrayon]

Hail and well met auto...

Your heart and emotions are the primal parts of your character, the parts closest to your "animal" - that instinctive being that wants to survive, that hungers to be alive. It is no surprise that such a part wants to reach for something to ensure its survival when the body stops being alive.

It's easier to deal with thoughts and ideas in oneself than it is to deal with emotions and passions - particularly those closest to our biological drives. Thus Christians war with lust: the battle of the sexual drive against the mores on sexual promiscuity. Thus they war with anger: the natural tendency to desire retribution or emote one's rage...

The emotion, passionate part of you will hold out a while - I've been agnostic for over a year now and I still feel the tug of guilt and the fear of damnation from my stint as a Christian. But as you mentioned your head knows better, you see things wrong with the picture...

You didn't make anything up - the conscious experience of Salvation is a very real experience: you did have it, after all. But remember and ask yourself what physical sensation, what evidence, did you receive that convinced you it was real? The evidence was only in feeling, in passion. I used to tell people that the "spirit bore witness" that night. Those things are internal and only have meaning when you lend your thoughts to them.

The drive to live past death is natural and wanting that to the point of causing a struggle within yourself is not delusional (IMHO). Letting go of that desire, that vision, is akin to the "animal" in you facing the distinct possibility of its own non-existence, its end. The mind creates the images needed to sustain Faith, lends its abilities to your emotions, and when you shut that feed down how can it be anything but confusion and troubling?

Take care and best wishes

taking that into consideration, to anyone who do believe in souls their's no evidence that conciousness comes from the soul and not the brain. It would be a stretch to just assume without proper evidence that when you die your soul will have your conciousness without your body.

[autoartist]

taking that into consideration, to anyone who do believe in souls their's no evidence that conciousness comes from the soul and not the brain. It would be a stretch to just assume without proper evidence that when you die your soul will have your conciousness without your body.
Daaaa-ang, I want to say you guys are freeking good, real good.
I have enjoyed the responses from you all, thank you.

I just want to bring out this for it is so true as I think back.

You didn't make anything up - the conscious experience of Salvation is a very real experience: you did have it, after all. But remember and ask yourself what physical sensation, what evidence, did you receive that convinced you it was real? The evidence was only in feeling, in passion. I used to tell people that the "spirit bore witness" that night. Those things are internal and only have meaning when you lend your thoughts to them. frm: mentored1

Yes, the only evidence I had was a sensation, no natural real evidence to convince me. Perhaps that is my answer to that day.

I am doing ok. One thing for sure this can be daunting (decon).
I am not sure what I believe but I lean towards no god based on the evidence I see and know.

Like I told my boss, No the Bible isn’t enough for me nor is testimonies of others (Christians). After all Evangelicals claim God is a personal God.

Should I present my argument for the non-existence of God (esp. God of the Bible) in another thread? I call it the “Pen Argument.”

a.

[Mithras]

Welcome, auto! I just joined the boards myself, and de-converted fully around 3 months ago. You'll fine that atheism isn't as bad as it's been made out to be- it's very demonized, especially in american culture.

Example: I was joking around with a cook at work the other night, an older woman in her late thirties, and for my tip one of my tables had left me a religious tract. I looked at it and chuckled and shot it like a basketball into the trashcan (I made it :P). She said, "It never hurts to touch up on that stuff a little more. Where do you go to church?" "Well, I don't. I'm an atheist." She just looked at me for a moment, as if she couldn't believe a perfectly nice, moral guy could be an atheist. Her response? "Oh, well I'm sure you'll grow out of it."

Don't be scared, auto. Embrace reason, embrace logic, and create your own purpose in life. You don't need to be scared of Hell in order to motivate yourself to be good, and in time you'll realize that all along you were believing in some pretty wild stuff. All that led me to my deconversion was critical analysis of my beliefs and logical reasoning.

The social aspect can be quite a big thing, however. The only people in my family that know are my three siblings, although the last time I was together with my whole family I was still agnostic. Coming out to devout family members and telling them you don't believe or a follow something that is a cornerstone of their life is quite intimidating, but I plan to make a stand before too much longer.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM or IM me, I'd be more than willing to help you with anything.

[autoartist]

Welcome, auto! I just joined the boards myself, and de-converted fully around 3 months ago. You'll fine that atheism isn't as bad as it's been made out to be- it's very demonized, especially in american culture.

Example: I was joking around with a cook at work the other night, an older woman in her late thirties, and for my tip one of my tables had left me a religious tract. I looked at it and chuckled and shot it like a basketball into the trashcan (I made it :P). She said, "It never hurts to touch up on that stuff a little more. Where do you go to church?" "Well, I don't. I'm an atheist." She just looked at me for a moment, as if she couldn't believe a perfectly nice, moral guy could be an atheist. Her response? "Oh, well I'm sure you'll grow out of it."

Don't be scared, auto. Embrace reason, embrace logic, and create your own purpose in life. You don't need to be scared of Hell in order to motivate yourself to be good, and in time you'll realize that all along you were believing in some pretty wild stuff. All that led me to my deconversion was critical analysis of my beliefs and logical reasoning.

The social aspect can be quite a big thing, however. The only people in my family that know are my three siblings, although the last time I was together with my whole family I was still agnostic. Coming out to devout family members and telling them you don't believe or a follow something that is a cornerstone of their life is quite intimidating, but I plan to make a stand before too much longer.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM or IM me, I'd be more than willing to help you with anything.
Cool thank you very much.

Yes I feel just fine. I still go to church isn't that crazy...hee hee.
I go to church for my wife. I like spending time w/ her. Our pastor give sermon notes where we fill in the blanks. I fill in the blanks and also write all kinds of arguments against what he preaches on. It is kind of fun.

Though I am scared sometimes that I will not be able to make sense of a bad experience (you know loss of health, wife, etc.)

I guess I ask myself how will I go on. W/ Christianity I just said it is God's will and he will take care of me or I have heaven to look forward to where there is no pain etc..

[Cliodna Emerges]

Though I am scared sometimes that I will not be able to make sense of a bad experience (you know loss of health, wife, etc.)

I guess I ask myself how will I go on. W/ Christianity I just said it is God's will and he will take care of me or I have heaven to look forward to where there is no pain etc..

Hello, AA~

Welcome! As a recent deconvert myself, I may understand how you feel. I wonder if you have looked into other spiritual paths? I think many people who leave Christianity have the same concerns initially, as far as how they will go on, etc. I feel much more at ease since leaving the faith (like leaving Plato's analogized cave) but that is probably because I still feel that there is a 'source'; I just don't have a particular title for the divine. Agnosticism is a comfortable position for me, and I find solace in the tenets of various belief systems.

[autoartist]

Hello, AA~

Welcome! As a recent deconvert myself, I may understand how you feel. I wonder if you have looked into other spiritual paths? I think many people who leave Christianity have the same concerns initially, as far as how they will go on, etc. I feel much more at ease since leaving the faith (like leaving Plato's analogized cave) but that is probably because I still feel that there is a 'source'; I just don't have a particular title for the divine. Agnosticism is a comfortable position for me, and I find solace in the tenets of various belief systems.
Wuts up Skye,

I was thinking, Buddhism or Shinto.
I am not sure if I will need a faith. I lean towards no god at all.

But, I know that people of faith (just some religion not refering to Christian but it is included too) seem to do better in life and handle things better. One thing for sure is I believe in statistics and math--of course you have to know about how the data was gathered--but that is what the statistics say.

[XaositectCrayon]

Daaaa-ang, I want to say you guys are freeking good, real good.
I have enjoyed the responses from you all, thank you.

I just want to bring out this for it is so true as I think back.

frm: mentored1

Yes, the only evidence I had was a sensation, no natural real evidence to convince me. Perhaps that is my answer to that day.

I am doing ok. One thing for sure this can be daunting (decon).
I am not sure what I believe but I lean towards no god based on the evidence I see and know.

Like I told my boss, No the Bible isn’t enough for me nor is testimonies of others (Christians). After all Evangelicals claim God is a personal God.

Should I present my argument for the non-existence of God (esp. God of the Bible) in another thread? I call it the “Pen Argument.”

a.
I'd be weary of what I said... I had recently found out that there is only slightly more evidence that the material world holds the mind (after bringing it up in apologetics) and we have no way of dealing with the immaterial (I believe it exists you may not. let's leave it at that).

I still believe they came about quite innocent of each other and ALL life shares some immaterial to them (no different than say a material organ as far as I am concerned). I'm still no theist for I believe if there is purely immaterial beings (or even beings that are mostly immaterial) they probably only played minor parts in humanity.

wow I throw my beliefs around as much as a Christian... not that I am hammering it down anyones throat. I guess it is because I dont have a phrase like Islam or Discordianism that people just "get" at the outset.

[XaositectCrayon]

Wuts up Skye,

I was thinking, Buddhism or Shinto.
I am not sure if I will need a faith. I lean towards no god at all.

But, I know that people of faith (just some religion not refering to Christian but it is included too) seem to do better in life and handle things better. One thing for sure is I believe in statistics and math--of course you have to know about how the data was gathered--but that is what the statistics say.
I do vaguely remeber some talk of an ancient cult that thought god could be revealed through mathmatics. Possibly they were diesticly inclined.