How far would you go?

[A Cup of No]

For christian couples who are committed to having a pure and pleasing relationship to Christ, how far physically is too far? I always figured more than kissing would be crossing the line, wondering what other opinions are.

[Ryokan]

I am not really sure... :shrug: Fortunately, I married, so i just do what comes naturally. :blush:

[A Cup of No]

rofl

[norwegen]

For christian couples who are committed to having a pure and pleasing relationship to Christ, how far physically is too far? I always figured more than kissing would be crossing the line, wondering what other opinions are.I'm with ryokan. If Christian couples who are committed to having a pure and pleasing relationship to Christ want children, kissing isn't nearly far enough.

[A Cup of No]

no no, I mean people who *aren't* married LOL

[54ball]

For christian couples who are committed to having a pure and pleasing relationship to Christ, how far physically is too far? I always figured more than kissing would be crossing the line, wondering what other opinions are.




All I'm sure of, is that the less physical a couple is, the less clouded the decision to marry or not is. As far as drawing a line goes, I'd say kissing is a good place to stop. Actually I'd like to recommend not even doing that, although I also live in the real world and realize it's easy for a guy who's been married 16years to tell single people they shouldnt kiss. :)

[Little Shepherd]

Holding hands, kissing, hugging, and that cuddling that you might do in front of a fire during a ski trip. That stuff's okay. If you get to 2nd base, though, you've gone way too far.

[A Cup of No]

What's second base? *ignorant*

[Alien]

I think unmarried Christian couples should have their genitals surgically removed and placed in deep freeze, to be reattached only after marriage.

That should do it, I think.

If that is too drastic, how about wearing boxing gloves all the time?

Or maybe spraying local anesthetic over the whole body every day?

Hey, I'm on a roll here! :lol:

[Ryokan]

What's second base? *ignorant*
It is generally covered by a bra or reinforced halter top. I can definitely say i think it is okay, though. After that, I don't know... Better to err on the side of caution, I guess. Its a personal decision.

[Teallaura]

The further down the hill you get, the harder it is to climb back up.

I agree with LS for the most part. Basically, if you wouldn't be willing to do it in front of her parents, you probably shouldn't go that far. I know that sounds prudish, but the hotter and heavier it gets, the less likely you are to stop. There's a big difference between hormones at idle and hormones in drive. Once in drive, it's not that big a leap to 'pedal to the metal' - and a morning full of regret because you failed to keep the commitment you made.

Have you read Steve Atterburn's (sp) "Every Man's Battle"? I hear it's pretty good and deals with these kinds of issues. Just a thought.

[themuzicman]

For christian couples who are committed to having a pure and pleasing relationship to Christ, how far physically is too far? I always figured more than kissing would be crossing the line, wondering what other opinions are.
I usually answer this question by saying that sexual stimulation, especially via touch, should be avoided. Now, the begs the question of what sexual stimulation is. Obviously petting is crossing the line, however, when it comes to kissing, you need to ask yourself whether the kiss is one of affection, or one designed for stimulation.

I'll leave the rest to you.

Michael

[TuckEverlasting]

I usually answer this question by saying that sexual stimulation, especially via touch, should be avoided. Now, the begs the question of what sexual stimulation is. Obviously petting is crossing the line, however, when it comes to kissing, you need to ask yourself whether the kiss is one of affection, or one designed for stimulation.

I'll leave the rest to you.

Michael
Michael, I'd POTD that if :jaltus: hadn't bungled the reinstatement of my powers. :argh:

[Shadow Phoenix]

I'd also add that I do not think you can totally deny the physical aspect of a relationship.

[TuckEverlasting]

I'd also add that I do not think you can totally deny the physical aspect of a relationship.

What do you mean, Nick?

[themuzicman]

Michael, I'd POTD that if :jaltus: hadn't bungled the reinstatement of my powers. :argh:
You could just send me the pearls :whistle:

[Spinyn00bman]

Have you read Steve Atterburn's (sp) "Every Man's Battle"?

I have


I hear it's pretty good and deals with these kinds of issues. Just a thought.

It is.

Would be a good one to pick up CoN.

It is also good for married dudes (such as myself).

[Ryokan]

I am with Nick. Anything besides a peck on the cheek is an inherently sexual act.

[themuzicman]

I am with Nick. Anything besides a peck on the cheek is an inherently sexual act.
It is? What about cultures such as India, where men hold hands and kiss each other on the lips?

Michael

[Ryokan]

It is? What about cultures such as India, where men hold hands and kiss each other on the lips?

Michael
In our culture it is. Some cultures don't kiss at all. In some cultures Breasts arem't sex objects. But if I get to "second base" in our culture, is that not inherently sexual as well?

[Gabby]

It is? What about cultures such as India, where men hold hands and kiss each other on the lips?

Michael

Parents kissing their children (young and old) on th lips is a common thing here in some parts of Canada, especially for mothers.

[TuckEverlasting]

You could just send me the pearls :whistle:

I don't *have* any. :no:

[Amazing Rando]

What's second base? *ignorant*

:shocked:

[A Cup of No]

I figured that was second base, but I thought it was a little more. Anyway, I have read Every Man's Battle. Thanks for all the responses guys.

[RumTumTugger]

Michael, I'd POTD that if :jaltus: hadn't bungled the reinstatement of my powers. :argh:

Tuck, Your Pick is noted. :wink:

[DawnBat]

For christian couples who are committed to having a pure and pleasing relationship to Christ, how far physically is too far? I always figured more than kissing would be crossing the line, wondering what other opinions are.

I think it depends, from couple to couple. My lady is one of those with the physical touch love language, so she had a hard time accepting that I care until she taught me to hug (I'm not normally very touchy). At the same time, we have decided, for now, that kissing on the lips is out of bounds. At the moment, it is the "next big thing", and what's the "next big thing" after that? I'm not sure, but I would rather be rabidly hoping for a kiss then rabidly hoping for more than a kiss, so we will wait on that one.

The basic principle I am using, then, is I don't want to go beyond a kiss, so I set the boundary just before that level I can acceptably go to, so that I am tempted to do something I wont regret as much, instead of being tempted to do something that I will.

I started with the principle that she may end up being someone else's wife, so I ought to treat her as I would want other guys to treat my wife. But I have discovered that I get irritated when other guys even talk to her. I let my irritation slide, since I know that it would be bad and wrong for me to act on it, but since I want to talk to her, my feelings on the matter are not a good measure of how I should act. :lol:

[themuzicman]

I think it depends, from couple to couple. My lady is one of those with the physical touch love language, so she had a hard time accepting that I care until she taught me to hug (I'm not normally very touchy). At the same time, we have decided, for now, that kissing on the lips is out of bounds. At the moment, it is the "next big thing", and what's the "next big thing" after that? I'm not sure, but I would rather be rabidly hoping for a kiss then rabidly hoping for more than a kiss, so we will wait on that one.

The basic principle I am using, then, is I don't want to go beyond a kiss, so I set the boundary just before that level I can acceptably go to, so that I am tempted to do something I wont regret as much, instead of being tempted to do something that I will.

I started with the principle that she may end up being someone else's wife, so I ought to treat her as I would want other guys to treat my wife. But I have discovered that I get irritated when other guys even talk to her. I let my irritation slide, since I know that it would be bad and wrong for me to act on it, but since I want to talk to her, my feelings on the matter are not a good measure of how I should act. :lol:
I think you've hit the nail on the head in regards to the fact that there is a progression to the physical side of a relationship, and that any couple that arrives at the stage where sexual stimulation is the next step should either marry or break up, because biology is going to push you in that direction until you go there.

Michael

[DawnBat]

I think you've hit the nail on the head in regards to the fact that there is a progression to the physical side of a relationship, and that any couple that arrives at the stage where sexual stimulation is the next step should either marry or break up, because biology is going to push you in that direction until you go there.

Michael
Aye. But I also think that it tends to accelerate, the farther you go. I am now a firm believer in hugs, and small kisses on the cheek. But oh! how much I long for longer hugs and kisses, and to kiss her lips... she has very nice lips, or at least they look very good.

It is taking most of what I have, along with her agreement and the help of friends to keep from kissing her. If I went ahead and did, I don't think I would have the strength to hold back from the "next step". So, even though I think a kiss would be morally acceptable, it would be unwise.

If I do decide to marry the lady, it would be two or three years at least before I could. It is acceptable to go slowly.

[BronzeArcher]

:shocked:

I didn't know either. All the baseball sex terminology I know is "score" and "home run"....... guess how many Christian friends I have!

I wouldn't know any (because I just don't talk about it with anyone, coming from a semi-traditional Chinese family), if guys on the bus weren't so loud. :eww:

[DawnBat]

I didn't know either. All the baseball sex terminology I know is "score" and "home run"....... guess how many Christian friends I have!

I wouldn't know any (because I just don't talk about it with anyone, coming from a semi-traditional Chinese family), if guys on the bus weren't so loud. :eww:
Thanks to Wikipedia:

First Base = Kissing
Second = Groping the privates
Third = Full Nudity or non neital-to-genital sex
Home Run = Obvious.

Many of my friends would have a hard time deciding which was sadder... that I need Wikipedia to figure that out, or that I have been dating for almost five months without reaching first base. But as I said, if I hit the ball, I am afraid I will keep running.