Reactions from family, friends, and strangers.

[Bagger_Vance]

I live in the South where it is just assumed that you are a protestant christian. You are looked at as an alien around here or even worse as dangerous for being a skeptic. Yes these are the people that think God will "strike you down" or might even curse the city for your existence. Anyway I find it interesting to gague reactions from people and see just how agnostics/atheists are perceived by the larger public.

My most common reaction is the wide-eyed look like they are seeing a rare creature at the zoo. They instantly start a barrage of unanswerable questions from a position of superiority like a George Bush speech "so where do you think we come from, monkeys?" and "so what is the purpose of life then?" as if my reluctance to offer opinion as definitive fact means I've lost.

I'm sure it is different depending on where you grew up so I was wondering how you other skeptics are received when you reveal that you don't believe in God?

For me family is a bit of a touchy subject on the issue. That is probably different in other regions but for me I don't discuss the issue at all with my father. We have a cease fire on the subject to preserve peace but it no doubt strained our fellowship. Any of you have family ties broken by breaking with the religion of the family??

[XaositectCrayon]

I live in the South where it is just assumed that you are a protestant christian. You are looked at as an alien around here or even worse as dangerous for being a skeptic. Yes these are the people that think God will "strike you down" or might even curse the city for your existence. Anyway I find it interesting to gague reactions from people and see just how agnostics/atheists are perceived by the larger public.

My most common reaction is the wide-eyed look like they are seeing a rare creature at the zoo. They instantly start a barrage of unanswerable questions from a position of superiority like a George Bush speech "so where do you think we come from, monkeys?" and "so what is the purpose of life then?" as if my reluctance to offer opinion as definitive fact means I've lost.

I'm sure it is different depending on where you grew up so I was wondering how you other skeptics are received when you reveal that you don't believe in God?

For me family is a bit of a touchy subject on the issue. That is probably different in other regions but for me I don't discuss the issue at all with my father. We have a cease fire on the subject to preserve peace but it no doubt strained our fellowship. Any of you have family ties broken by breaking with the religion of the family??

midwest is a mix... some do that above... others dont really care... some just try and preach

my family is cool with it but I havent told my aunts/uncles/grandparents

[BeHereNow]

I got the same reactions as you did when I lived in North Carolina. The shock, the condescendence, the pity, the I'll-pray-for-yous.. Like you, my family and I have basically closed the book on the subject in order to preserve the peace. They flip out when the topic comes up because their beliefs are so strong, they can't fathom dissent, especially from their own offspring.

Now that I'm in Korea, it's pretty normal to be an atheist. Generally, the main reaction I get is surprise because the perception here is that every American is a Christian. But I've met far more atheists here than I did in NC.

[Mentalist]

Most people where I live in England are completely apathetic to the whole subject of religion. Atheism is quite common, though I think apathetic deistic sentiments are more so, of the actively religous people they almost always keep their religous beliefs to themselves and I've never felt I've had any different treatment for being an atheist. I don't remember anyone ever saying they would pray for me, nor would it be well recieved if they did. Anglicanism, the most popular sect here, is generally considerably more respectful of other beliefs than many views I see on thie forum for example.

[Bagger_Vance]

I got the same reactions as you did when I lived in North Carolina. The shock, the condescendence, the pity, the I'll-pray-for-yous.. Like you, my family and I have basically closed the book on the subject in order to preserve the peace. They flip out when the topic comes up because their beliefs are so strong, they can't fathom dissent, especially from their own offspring.

Now that I'm in Korea, it's pretty normal to be an atheist. Generally, the main reaction I get is surprise because the perception here is that every American is a Christian. But I've met far more atheists here than I did in NC.

I've had people cry because they think I'm going to hell and one person said I was possessed by a demon. And I'm not kidding at all. My dad got really angry that I would dare to question him because in the Bible as you know the father is supposedly the ruler of the house. Pffft. It is sad that we can't even talk about it. To be honest I rarely speak with them anymore because they are always talking about the good lord and trying to re-convert me.

Co-workers are funny as well because they'll sort of gang up on you and have like a barrage of questions that no one could answer to throw at you. I've definitely lost friends over the whole thing and it was them cutting me off not the other way around because I don't care what religion you are but for them it is a matter of utmost importance. I sense that religious people for the most part put a lot more emphasis on changing you. I could tell how some friends, family, and co-workers would just let it eat at them that I didn't believe what they believed as for my part I don't try to change anyone I just let it be. Now that is a bit of a stereotype I know. Some agnostics/atheists are ideological converters themselves but for my area it is the exact opposite.

[mentored1]

Well met folks...

The sentiments here definitely show the pervasiveness of theism in Americans... Whether they practice 'religiously' or not it seems to deny, nay even to question God's existence, is a cultural warning flag... :shrug:

At least the horror-awe cocktail we've experienced means we're not alone! I got it multiple times... Leaving the Roman Catholicism that my family is steeped in at age 14... Questioning and more or less becoming agnostic toward the God of the Bible I learned as a young man in a fundamentalist Baptist church - and still being married to the woman I wed in that faith. I get those looks and 'pray for you' comments from every angle, every day. Wife, family, friends - you name it, I got it.

I've yet to have a prolonged conversation about the nature of agnosticism and faith with anyone of faith in my family or friends! It's hard to get past the "I'll pray for you" or the fact that once you start explaining your position and reasons for it there is a curtain that gets pulled down between the eyes and the brain that blocks any more illumination from reaching the "prayer" closet inside.... :shrug:

Take care - keep the fai... hmmm... :demure:

[Seasanctuary]

As far as I know, everyone in my family thinks Christianity is just obviously true. Thus, I'm more of a truant Christian who skips Church in their eyes than someone with a legitimately different worldview.

People I meet at work tend to respond similarly to the fellow who says, "Oh my lucky stars, a Negro!" in Blast from the Past. What a curious creature!

[Minnesota]

In Macon Georgia the wife of one of the couples who lived next door was actually afraid of me. Sweet little innocent, southern belle that she was, she was excruciatingly naive in so many ways.

[Barry Desborough]

In Macon Georgia the wife of one of the couples who lived next door was actually afraid of me. Sweet little innocent, southern belle that she was, she was excruciatingly naive in so many ways.

With that avatar, you're surprised? :smile:

[XaositectCrayon]

wow I must be lucky... the only real problem I ever had was from a friend at work.

wow, she's deep into the whole YEC thing. I tell her I never said it was all rubbish. I just dont believe in fairy tails...

she's the kind who claims that any study beyond the bible is a waste of time though...

[Alchemist]

I'm kind of a double-agent. My family thinks I'm good Catholic. That I go to Church every Sunday, believe the creed ect ect.

I even go to Church with my family if I can't come up with a reason to go to "evening mass" at another church (as in my friends house for about 90 minutes). I'm 18 and will still be living at home atleast for about 5 or 6 more months. If I tell my family I don't believe in God, they would freak out. My brothers probably would get over it pretty quickly but my parents are a different story. My mother would think I was going to hell and "brainwashed" by those liberal professors at college (despite the fact that I lost my faith my senior year in highschool) and my father would think I was an irrational idiot who was also going to hell.

So in order to keep the peace, and prevent having to pay rent before I get my own apartment, I pretend I still believe.

Its a different story when it comes to my friends. I've told my closest friends and they don't seem to care much. At school at at AFROTC I'm openly agnostic. I have only had one person try to re-convert me and at the end of the discussion he instead just had a much better understanding of what agnosticism and skepticism were all about. He hasn't bothered me about the "god issue" since. Other than that my lab partner had a "You're not an atheist are you?" moment when I made a joke about not having a soul. I then explained my viewpoint and said that I respected people of faith. Since then she's not really brought it up and doesn't seem be an issue with her.

I live in Florida and go to USF. Florida is in the south, but it is not "THE South" like Georgia, North Carolina, or Alabama are. We have alot fewer hicks/rednecks and most of them live near the border of Georgia anyhow.

[bandecoot]

It has never really come up. Most of my family have never mentioned their religious affiliations to me. My mother was a Christian and she never asked me either. I have no idea if she assumed I was or not.

No stranger has ever asked me anything about religion except for people who go door knocking. They dont ask me anything however, they want to tell me things.

I guess that the culture here is indifferent to religion in general.

Christians Here tend to clump together in Cliques, there are a few suburbs like that in the City I live in. Places where you cant throw a stone without it bouncing off 3 churches before it hits the ground. I don't live in any of those suburbs so I rarely meet anyone who would care if I go to a church or not.

Despite jokes to the contrary Evangelical Christians and Non theists dont seem to go to the same places for socialising. At least they dont here. So its rare I even meet a Christian.

[HRG_new]

It has never really come up. Most of my family have never mentioned their religious affiliations to me. My mother was a Christian and she never asked me either. I have no idea if she assumed I was or not.

No stranger has ever asked me anything about religion except for people who go door knocking. They dont ask me anything however, they want to tell me things.

I guess that the culture here is indifferent to religion in general.

Christians Here tend to clump together in Cliques, there are a few suburbs like that in the City I live in. Places where you cant throw a stone without it bouncing off 3 churches before it hits the ground. I don't live in any of those suburbs so I rarely meet anyone who would care if I go to a church or not.

Despite jokes to the contrary Evangelical Christians and Non theists dont seem to go to the same places for socialising. At least they dont here. So its rare I even meet a Christian.

Over here (Austria), the majority is nominally Roman Christian in the sense that they have been baptized, married in Church and pay their church taxes, but should rather be called apatheists. No social barriers at all divide believers from unbelievers.

Two months ago, a very close and dear friend of mine died from pancreatic cancer; she had been an active and believing RC. Of course I went to her burial mass. Of course I spoke with her relatives, which included the officiating priest. Of course they knew I am an atheist.

And of course no one said any word about it.

[SteveF]

My parents are atheist and so don't care. Most of my friends are atheists so obviously they don't care either. My friends who are religious are either a) the vague English religious sorts and so don't care or b) strongly religious but also English and therefore laid back about such matters and so don't care. In fact, I've never met anyone in the UK who found my atheism in any way notable. Such people do exist here and ae growing but most people are very tolerant.

[Kulindrichnus]

In fact, I've never met anyone in the UK who found my atheism in any way notable.

I have. A mate of mine's girlfriend, who is the basic CofE type but pretty convinced about it, decided to try and point out all the good reasons to believe, the very first time she met me. Bad move. I don't think she had tried tackling the sort of atheist that you find on places like TWEB before, and the result was not pretty. In fact, I was supposed to be best man at their wedding, but was ruled too atheist for the role.

Of course, I'm pretty militant and approach religious people either on the basis that they're ignorant or that they're insidious self-promoters or both, so my atheism is likely to put me in these sort of situations more often.

K

[SteveF]

I have. A mate of mine's girlfriend, who is the basic CofE type but pretty convinced about it, decided to try and point out all the good reasons to believe, the very first time she met me. Bad move. I don't think she had tried tackling the sort of atheist that you find on places like TWEB before, and the result was not pretty. In fact, I was supposed to be best man at their wedding, but was ruled too atheist for the role.

Of course, I'm pretty militant and approach religious people either on the basis that they're ignorant or that they're insidious self-promoters or both, so my atheism is likely to put me in these sort of situations more often.

K

I guess some people are just different; these things are as likely a matter of personality as theology A friend in my office is a strong CofE person (sings in the Choir, husband training to be a priest etc), but she is pretty down to earth and doesn't get worked up about my occasional blasphemous outbursts. In fact, I would never have know about her faith, were it not for the fact that I asked.

Still, as I say, things are undoubtedly growing. Check this out:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4793198.stm

We may be at the tail end of rationalism.

[Rusty T]

It's best to keep your skepticism to yourself here in the great state of Mississippi. While in college I wrote a guest column for the campus paper explaining how I had been discriminated against for my lack of religious conviction. It definitely had an angry tone to it because I had just been told by a group of life-long friends that I couldn't move into a house with them (as planned) because I no longer believed in God. The article stirred up a hornets nest and I received phone calls and letters from all over - apparently the article made its rounds in the surrounding area. I was told that the devil was oppressing me, that I was going to hell, etc. I even became a staple guest speaker in one professor's Comparison of Religion class, which even made me more of an oddity on campus.

Down here, 'different' is frowned upon. I've learned that Mama was right when she told me to never talk about politics or religion.

rusty

[Kulindrichnus]

:no:

[BeHereNow]

I live in Florida and go to USF. Florida is in the south, but it is not "THE South" like Georgia, North Carolina, or Alabama are. We have alot fewer hicks/rednecks and most of them live near the border of Georgia anyhow.

Hey I graduated from the same college. :highfive:

I wonder... how many classes do you have in COOPER HALL? I swear that building was the bane of my college experience. It's the ugliest, most run-down on campus, and approximately 90% of my classes took place there. About ten years ago, there was a popular local band called My Pal Trigger that had a song dedicated to how awful that building is.

Other than that, though, I liked the college a lot. Great staff, nice campus, decent parking.