"Science is useless" Joke

[mossrose]

Here is a good place for this one. If it has been posted elsewhere, please forgive me. Or if I have posted it here mistakenly, ditto.


All the scientists had decided that God was useless, not needed anymore, and generally dead. They decided to prove it to God and to the world, so they chose to have a contest.

They came to God and said, "We have decided that humans don't need you anymore. They only need science. To that end, we have come up with a test. If you win, you can stay. If you lose, you have to go away."

God said, "Alright. What is the contest?"

The scientists said, "We can now make a man. All of our efforts have gone into scientifically creating a human being. We will make a man, and you can make a man, and the best man will win."

God agreed. The scientists began by taking a handful of dirt out of the garden. God said, "Wait a minute. Get your own dirt."

[Passant]

:rofl: That was pretty good!

[Gilgaron]

I heard that joke once :smile:

I responded that the scientists should then have proceeded to have sex, but the person telling the joke didn't appreciate that method of creation, I suppose. :shrug:

[mossrose]

Even if the scientists had taken you up on your suggestion, they still aren't using their "dirt", but the building blocks that God created. So it is a moot point you make.

[Gilgaron]

In the parameters of the joke, God didn't seem to mind them reaching for the dirt with their bodies, so I think their bodies must be their personal property.

Not even a chuckle, though? Tough crowd :shocked:

[Alien]

I thought it was funny.

*Totally off topic*

A male and female scientist landed on a distant planet that was inhabited by friendly little robots. They showed the scientists a factory where new robots were assembled. They then asked the scientists how new humans were made. The scientists explained, but the robots were puzzled and asked for a demonstration. The scientists decided to comply, in the interests of interplanetary good will. Afterwards, the puzzled robots asked "So, where is the new human?" The scientists replied "Oh, that takes nine months". One robot looked really puzzled and asked "So what was all the hurry at the end?"

[mossrose]

If you would like to start your own thread with an off-colour joke, I would appreciate it. If you have a FUNNY scientist joke that is NOT sexually suggestive, then feel free to post it here.

[Gilgaron]

Haha, that is a funny one there.

[Didaktylos]

mossrose: If you have a FUNNY scientist joke that is NOT sexually suggestive, then feel free to post it here.

OK - I'll take the bait.

A Surgeon, a Civil Engineer and an Economist are having an argument as to which of their respective professions is the oldest.

Quoth the Surgeon: "When God made Eve, He started by taking out one of Adam's Ribs - first example of surgery."

The Civil Engineer replies: "Ah - but didn't He previously create Heaven and Earth from chaos? Civil Engineering, wouldn't you agree?"

"Good point," comments the Economist, "but where do you think the chaos came from?"

[DunnySaze]

Three scientists are riding in a car in Scotland down a country lane. They stop the car at a fence and just then a black sheep crosses in front of them.

First Scientist: "This shows that sheep in Scotland are black."

Second Scientist: "No, you are overgeneralizing. This only shows that at least one sheep in Scotland is black."

Third Scientist : "Gentlemen, I have to say you are both overgeneralizing. This merely shows that there is at least one sheep in Scotland that is black, on one side."

[sylas]

07-28-2003 @ 10:47 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=161404#post161404)
mossrose:
All the scientists had decided that God was useless, not needed anymore, and generally dead. They decided to prove it to God and to the world, so they chose to have a contest.

They came to God and said, "We have decided that humans don't need you anymore. They only need science. To that end, we have come up with a test. If you win, you can stay. If you lose, you have to go away."

God said, "Alright. What is the contest?"

The scientists said, "We can now make a man. All of our efforts have gone into scientifically creating a human being. We will make a man, and you can make a man, and the best man will win."

God agreed. The scientists began by taking a handful of dirt out of the garden. God said, "Wait a minute. Get your own dirt."

Jokes often are intended to carry a more serious point beneath the immediate humour, and this joke is no exception.

The lesson seems (to me) to be that God underlies all of creation. Any process, any substance, anything we apply is there by God's creative power already applied.

In the first story of creation in Genesis, the driving force is God's spoken word. God commands, and it is so. Living creatures and vegetation, for example are commanded to come forth from the Earth, and from the Waters.

The intended lesson of the joke would seem to be that even if science can uncover or even replicate some the processes by which life comes forth, this cannot be taken as making God unnecessary.

I do not know if this is what mossrose intended; but it would be a good lesson to bear in mind in some of the science discussion areas. If someone really believes God is over and under and behind and before all of the natural world, then discussions about details of how old, and what natural processes have or have not occurred, and what natural processes can or cannot do, are questions which are not illuminated by representing one history of events and processes as omitting God.

Cheers -- Silas

[Queen]

A male and female scientist landed on a distant planet that was inhabited by friendly little robots. They showed the scientists a factory where new robots were assembled. They then asked the scientists how new humans were made. The scientists explained, but the robots were puzzled and asked for a demonstration. The scientists decided to comply, in the interests of interplanetary good will. Afterwards, the puzzled robots asked "So, where is the new human?" The scientists replied "Oh, that takes nine months". One robot looked really puzzled and asked "So what was all the hurry at the end?"

Oh My..... Gilgaron :lmbo: :lmbo: :lmbo:

Great joke!!!! Bwaaaahaahahahaaaahahaaa

All the scientists had decided that God was useless, not needed anymore, and generally dead. They decided to prove it to God and to the world, so they chose to have a contest.

They came to God and said, "We have decided that humans don't need you anymore. They only need science. To that end, we have come up with a test. If you win, you can stay. If you lose, you have to go away."

God said, "Alright. What is the contest?"

The scientists said, "We can now make a man. All of our efforts have gone into scientifically creating a human being. We will make a man, and you can make a man, and the best man will win."

God agreed. The scientists began by taking a handful of dirt out of the garden. God said, "Wait a minute. Get your own dirt."

:lmbo: :lmbo: :lmbo: Mossrose, I love it....GREAT JOKE.....Thank you both for the laugh!!!!!


Oh My Goodness...all those jokes are great!!!! I have to tell that economist joke to my hubby....... :lmbo: :lmbo:


:rofl: :lmbo: :rofl: :lmbo: :rofl: :lmbo: :rofl: :lmbo: :rofl:

Stop it you guys...My face hurts!!!!

Lots of....bwaaahahaaa love...hahahaha and......BWaahahaaaa sunshine,
Queen :lmbo: :lmbo: :lmbo:

[Amazing Rando]

10-23-2003 @ 05:20 AM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=252948#post252948)
silas:



Jokes often are intended to carry a more serious point beneath the immediate humour, and this joke is no exception.

The lesson seems (to me) to be that God underlies all of creation. Any process, any substance, anything we apply is there by God's creative power already applied.

In the first story of creation in Genesis, the driving force is God's spoken word. God commands, and it is so. Living creatures and vegetation, for example are commanded to come forth from the Earth, and from the Waters.

The intended lesson of the joke would seem to be that even if science can uncover or even replicate some the processes by which life comes forth, this cannot be taken as making God unnecessary.

I do not know if this is what mossrose intended; but it would be a good lesson to bear in mind in some of the science discussion areas. If someone really believes God is over and under and behind and before all of the natural world, then discussions about details of how old, and what natural processes have or have not occurred, and what natural processes can or cannot do, are questions which are not illuminated by representing one history of events and processes as omitting God.

Cheers -- Silas

Absolutely excellent point Silas. That is the Biblical view after all- God is the creater AND sustainer of life and all natural processes. He authored the natural laws that govern the universe.

[EdJones]

The Scriptures are the only true science book.

[sylas]

Today @ 05:05 PM post located here (http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=267020#post267020)
EdJones:

The Scriptures are the only true science book.

Actually, I think the proper inference is just the reverse.

The bible is not a science book.

Science books are about reporting examination of the natural processes and phenomena of the natural world, and the conclusions drawn from such examination. Not all observation and inference is scientific, and science is not the only way to look at things. But for certain kinds of questions, the "scientific method" is the most appropriate and effective way we have for answering them.

Those questions which are explored by science are not a major focus of the bible, and the methods used in science are not the basis for the affirmations of the bible.

The joke illustrates that even if scientists were able to make life from non-living things; they would still be using materials and processes and the existing natural world, and cannot be said to be making a new creation or proving God is unnecessary.

Cheers -- Silas

[mossrose]

:yeahthat:

:genius: