Depression

[luv1another]

I know there is thread about soldiers commiting suicide in here already well this isnt about that this is about depression...
first off it would be good to get as much information down in this thread as possible for those that think maybe they have it, or know someone with it...second I want to tell my story... I am not on pills yet but I want to write this out for those who have been or those who might go through some of the begining to end stages...I want to try and show people its not something we make up...no I dont think I have it as bad as some other people do or have had... I would like to hear those stories too... any info help that you could give others who may be going into depression would be great as well.

my story

ok for me I still struggle with the thought I have depression...like I said I am not on pills yet but I think I may be close.
when did it start~ hmm thats a good question we all have ups and downs in life...we all have down days and times we struggle for maybe a week or so.
well the first time I ever thought O killing myself was when I was maybe 13 or 14 I guess I dont think I had depression then tho it was just growing up with things happening in my life and in the past that I didnt know how to cope with I think...

meh I then really didnt have any real depression till after my kids were born....sure like I said I had times when I was down times when I did absolutely nothing and stuff but I didnt think about killing myself at those times.... so back to after my kids were born... after the first I was fine then after the second there were times I couldnt cope I didnt tell anyone I just used to take the kids and go visit someone from church or go to the shops with the kids or something like that...I volunteered at the red cross shop etc all to stay out of the house basicly where I felt trapped and alone. honestly at the time I didnt think I had any problem after all its normal to feel down most the time when you have small children right? also at about this time is when my marriage began to get bumpy too...you see hubby was working from about 6am - about 7pm so he would come home eat and go to bed...

well I took on stuff in the church so I was out maybe 4 nights a week...meh hubby nearly left so the pastor sent me to a counsellor ( I had been a Christian all of about 2 or 3 years at this stage)...I went and the counsellor saw me once or twice told me I was doing the right things and I didnt need to go back. great. wasnt long after that I had thoughts of how to go about killing myself ( if your a christian I still believe this was a spiritual attack tho and if your interested you can ask me more)...

ok I was fine for about 3 years just your usual ups and downs kinda thing... ok well after mum died in december 2000 I found things begining to get worse ( before that everytime I was down I could pick up the phone and say hey mum and talk for 5 or 10 minutes...I think thats what stopped it from getting worse...mum never knew I was down when I rang) I still had no idea what depression really was.

recently I found out dad has cancer and will die with about a year could be tommorrow he is 79 but on top of marriage problems yet again and still grieving over mum and other stresses I have had. things have got increasingly worse...
go back to a few years I would have months usually coming up to december like nov, dec, jan, where I had more down than up times and this has become gradually more and more... recently a friend did a test on me that phsyciatrists do to see how bad your depression is... I scored as severe clinical depression... how do I know it was right?
well for straters my marriage counsellor said I seemed prone to depression and recommended I see a doc and get a refferal to see him as an indiviual patient...I did this yesterday the doc was going to give me pills but said I should see the counsellor first because pills take 3 weeks to start working and you need to stay on them a year at least :sigh:

now going back about a year now I have been cyclic ,meaning I would go a few weeks on an up kinda mood, things went ok people cared I coped with anything in front of me fine...then suddenly my poor friends would be bombarded with do you care type texts...no one cared ( in my eyes, from my POV) no one would miss me, everyone would be better off without me etc etc etc.... no this was not luv1another needing attention and doing it the quickest way possible.

at this time it was like a cloud would come over me almost like eeyore and his little rain cloud that follows him but this dark cloud would drop over me things just wernt the same its hard to explain even right now while in a fairly up mood... you mind goes cloudy and your still you but your not in a way, you function and those around you may think your happy even, you smile you laugh at bad jokes and whatever else unless you tell someone or actually allow others to see it, they dont...I go to church or bible study or whatever and no one even knows its like kaz is happy...but those I confide in (very few) know they cope with the calls and texts and pms etc, they are the ones who basicly keep me going, stop me from harming myself.

you know I thought it was normal that people thought of killing themselves I really did, I thought the normal person you and everyone else had thoughts of killing themselves...my friend told me a few days ago, NO only 10% or something of the population do...

anyway this cloud makes your brain kinda fuzzy it stops you concentrating, someone may tell you something and you cant remember later... your concentration goes...work or things that you could do, you leave... like letter writing even when I was away I would leave letters for a week because I couldnt focus on what to write back, I will leave pms or emails for 2 or 3 weeks sometimes before I can think about what I should say in return... or I just cant deal with it and leave it for when I can. (unless its urgent or part of my mod duties then I can force myself to do it) my house it looks like a dump for up to 2 weeks sometimes because I cant focus it overwhelms me to think of doing anything, I am tired constantly no matter how much sleep I get... now this is while this cloud is there... when it lifts I have a fairly neat house...you could time it to the day as to when it goes because that day I usually have a burst of energy I clean and stuff and my house looks great (for a day LOL) also when the cloud lifts I can get 7 hours of sleep a night and function quite well at times I get 5 or 6 and do well and concentrate... on depression days no way I could get 9 hours sleep and feel like I had 2.

today I was thinking only a few years ago I would ask how could someone who seemed yto have it all, or someone who had a great family, or someone who had a great future in front of them, or someone with so many friends etc kill themselves...what a waste etc...what made them do it what was the reason... you know what I bet their reason would have sounded trivial to the normal population.

I understand so much better now... that cloud I was talking about it takes away things...it takes away the truth and swaps it for a lie... it steals from you the positive and replaces it with negative... you truly believe you are hopeless, you believe no one cares, you believe everyone would be better off without you around you honestly believe it, you may not want to and maybe there is something some small little light that says its not true but you quickly quash it.

the person if you talk them and say you care would admit you do but you have to tell them over and over its like it has to be repeated it doesnt sink in... to you it seems repititious you go I told you thi 20 minutes ago but to them its a life line its something that says maybe its worth being here even tho everything else seems dark and opressive.

the sports star may think he can never make he believes a lie something somehow that has been planted in his mind... the truth is swapped for a lie... the beauty queen thinks she is ugly or fat or that in a couple years no one will know her and so it doesnt matter swaps a truth for a lie, the young man newly married who finds out he cant have kids after him and his wife have been trying for years and its his wifes desire the things she most wants... believes he cant make his wife happy so she hates him, he cant have kids so he isnt a man...he swaps the truth for a lie... it doesnt take much.

I admit when the cloud comes over I see the lies as truth the truth is blurred it really is its hazy and its not that I want attention or that I need people to tell me they care constantly itsthat I am believeing things that arnt true and cant see the truth through the fog that covers my brain.

these people dont want to hurt others, they cant think of others when they are depressed its hard to remember birthdays or anything it sucks it really does.

meh I dont know what else to say or how to say it... I was shopping today and had a bad session of time and when it stopped I thought people need to try and see what its like I need to try and explain as best I can from my small perspective to give people some insight while I can.

I didnt do this to get pity or to even let you know whats going on with me...I did so that others will see it is real, so people will see others suffer through it to and they arnt alone, to show anyone can get it, to give a small perspective to those who dont know and may have someone around them who is starting to be depressed or is depressed.
I just think that so many people dont share their suffering and so others dont have a clue...I want others to be aware that the people next to them may have depression and they could save a life by just being there for them :shrug:

I dont speak for everyone, I hope they will speak for themselves...these are my thoughts and my experiences I am sure others are slightly diffrent.

[dizzle]

I completely understand Luv. I too suffer with bouts of clinical depression.

It is not true though you have to be on the meds for a year. I never have, and have had good years in between. Right now I am not on any, and I think one of the issues has been solved. I get insomnia easy when depression is kicking in and then the loss of sleep ups the depression. My doctor and I have figured out that as long as I sleep enough I can without meds keep the depression manageable without those meds. So I am on Ambien which does not for me have terrible side effects the anti-depression meds had and I have been without any anti-depression meds for about a year now with I think six years since the ones before that and am doing pretty well.

Also I have found that the exercise I am doing is helping quite a bit.

[okcitykid]

I know there is thread about soldiers commiting suicide in here already well this isnt about that this is about depression...
first off it would be good to get as much information down in this thread as possible for those that think maybe they have it, or know someone with it...second I want to tell my story... I am not on pills yet but I want to write this out for those who have been or those who might go through some of the begining to end stages...I want to try and show people its not something we make up...no I dont think I have it as bad as some other people do or have had... I would like to hear those stories too... any info help that you could give others who may be going into depression would be great as well.

my story

ok for me I still struggle with the thought I have depression...like I said I am not on pills yet but I think I may be close.
when did it start~ hmm thats a good question we all have ups and downs in life...we all have down days and times we struggle for maybe a week or so.
well the first time I ever thought O killing myself was when I was maybe 13 or 14 I guess I dont think I had depression then tho it was just growing up with things happening in my life and in the past that I didnt know how to cope with I think...

meh I then really didnt have any real depression till after my kids were born....sure like I said I had times when I was down times when I did absolutely nothing and stuff but I didnt think about killing myself at those times.... so back to after my kids were born... after the first I was fine then after the second there were times I couldnt cope I didnt tell anyone I just used to take the kids and go visit someone from church or go to the shops with the kids or something like that...I volunteered at the red cross shop etc all to stay out of the house basicly where I felt trapped and alone. honestly at the time I didnt think I had any problem after all its normal to feel down most the time when you have small children right? also at about this time is when my marriage began to get bumpy too...you see hubby was working from about 6am - about 7pm so he would come home eat and go to bed...

well I took on stuff in the church so I was out maybe 4 nights a week...meh hubby nearly left so the pastor sent me to a counsellor ( I had been a Christian all of about 2 or 3 years at this stage)...I went and the counsellor saw me once or twice told me I was doing the right things and I didnt need to go back. great. wasnt long after that I had thoughts of how to go about killing myself ( if your a christian I still believe this was a spiritual attack tho and if your interested you can ask me more)...

ok I was fine for about 3 years just your usual ups and downs kinda thing... ok well after mum died in december 2000 I found things begining to get worse ( before that everytime I was down I could pick up the phone and say hey mum and talk for 5 or 10 minutes...I think thats what stopped it from getting worse...mum never knew I was down when I rang) I still had no idea what depression really was.

recently I found out dad has cancer and will die with about a year could be tommorrow he is 79 but on top of marriage problems yet again and still grieving over mum and other stresses I have had. things have got increasingly worse...
go back to a few years I would have months usually coming up to december like nov, dec, jan, where I had more down than up times and this has become gradually more and more... recently a friend did a test on me that phsyciatrists do to see how bad your depression is... I scored as severe clinical depression... how do I know it was right?
well for straters my marriage counsellor said I seemed prone to depression and recommended I see a doc and get a refferal to see him as an indiviual patient...I did this yesterday the doc was going to give me pills but said I should see the counsellor first because pills take 3 weeks to start working and you need to stay on them a year at least :sigh:

now going back about a year now I have been cyclic ,meaning I would go a few weeks on an up kinda mood, things went ok people cared I coped with anything in front of me fine...then suddenly my poor friends would be bombarded with do you care type texts...no one cared ( in my eyes, from my POV) no one would miss me, everyone would be better off without me etc etc etc.... no this was not luv1another needing attention and doing it the quickest way possible.

at this time it was like a cloud would come over me almost like eeyore and his little rain cloud that follows him but this dark cloud would drop over me things just wernt the same its hard to explain even right now while in a fairly up mood... you mind goes cloudy and your still you but your not in a way, you function and those around you may think your happy even, you smile you laugh at bad jokes and whatever else unless you tell someone or actually allow others to see it, they dont...I go to church or bible study or whatever and no one even knows its like kaz is happy...but those I confide in (very few) know they cope with the calls and texts and pms etc, they are the ones who basicly keep me going, stop me from harming myself.

you know I thought it was normal that people thought of killing themselves I really did, I thought the normal person you and everyone else had thoughts of killing themselves...my friend told me a few days ago, NO only 10% or something of the population do...

anyway this cloud makes your brain kinda fuzzy it stops you concentrating, someone may tell you something and you cant remember later... your concentration goes...work or things that you could do, you leave... like letter writing even when I was away I would leave letters for a week because I couldnt focus on what to write back, I will leave pms or emails for 2 or 3 weeks sometimes before I can think about what I should say in return... or I just cant deal with it and leave it for when I can. (unless its urgent or part of my mod duties then I can force myself to do it) my house it looks like a dump for up to 2 weeks sometimes because I cant focus it overwhelms me to think of doing anything, I am tired constantly no matter how much sleep I get... now this is while this cloud is there... when it lifts I have a fairly neat house...you could time it to the day as to when it goes because that day I usually have a burst of energy I clean and stuff and my house looks great (for a day LOL) also when the cloud lifts I can get 7 hours of sleep a night and function quite well at times I get 5 or 6 and do well and concentrate... on depression days no way I could get 9 hours sleep and feel like I had 2.

today I was thinking only a few years ago I would ask how could someone who seemed yto have it all, or someone who had a great family, or someone who had a great future in front of them, or someone with so many friends etc kill themselves...what a waste etc...what made them do it what was the reason... you know what I bet their reason would have sounded trivial to the normal population.

I understand so much better now... that cloud I was talking about it takes away things...it takes away the truth and swaps it for a lie... it steals from you the positive and replaces it with negative... you truly believe you are hopeless, you believe no one cares, you believe everyone would be better off without you around you honestly believe it, you may not want to and maybe there is something some small little light that says its not true but you quickly quash it.

the person if you talk them and say you care would admit you do but you have to tell them over and over its like it has to be repeated it doesnt sink in... to you it seems repititious you go I told you thi 20 minutes ago but to them its a life line its something that says maybe its worth being here even tho everything else seems dark and opressive.

the sports star may think he can never make he believes a lie something somehow that has been planted in his mind... the truth is swapped for a lie... the beauty queen thinks she is ugly or fat or that in a couple years no one will know her and so it doesnt matter swaps a truth for a lie, the young man newly married who finds out he cant have kids after him and his wife have been trying for years and its his wifes desire the things she most wants... believes he cant make his wife happy so she hates him, he cant have kids so he isnt a man...he swaps the truth for a lie... it doesnt take much.

I admit when the cloud comes over I see the lies as truth the truth is blurred it really is its hazy and its not that I want attention or that I need people to tell me they care constantly itsthat I am believeing things that arnt true and cant see the truth through the fog that covers my brain.

these people dont want to hurt others, they cant think of others when they are depressed its hard to remember birthdays or anything it sucks it really does.

meh I dont know what else to say or how to say it... I was shopping today and had a bad session of time and when it stopped I thought people need to try and see what its like I need to try and explain as best I can from my small perspective to give people some insight while I can.

I didnt do this to get pity or to even let you know whats going on with me...I did so that others will see it is real, so people will see others suffer through it to and they arnt alone, to show anyone can get it, to give a small perspective to those who dont know and may have someone around them who is starting to be depressed or is depressed.
I just think that so many people dont share their suffering and so others dont have a clue...I want others to be aware that the people next to them may have depression and they could save a life by just being there for them :shrug:

I dont speak for everyone, I hope they will speak for themselves...these are my thoughts and my experiences I am sure others are slightly diffrent.

Its real, I believe it, my wife suffers from it and has been taking medication for years. It happens to a lot of women, my wife explained it to me about three times, something to do with hormones, but my mind just doesn't maintain technical stuff very well. She tried once to go off the medication, that didn't work out to good.

I like how you describe how a truth becomes a lie.

What the soldiers suffer from is a little different. They see and experience the most horrible things and some will be able to walk away from it and some will not. A good percentage of them will be haunted by these visions their whole life. Sometimes a sound will trigger it, sometimes just nothing at all. Each will suffer this in different degrees. After a time this wears them out, they can't live with it anymore, some will commit suicide if they don't get help first.

This is a good article of a soldier - you've all seen his picture
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/01/29/MNGMHGVCEV1.DTL

They had to discharge him, but he did get help and he discribes his suffering.

[TuckEverlasting]

Its real

Yes, and I think that right there is something people need to be made aware of: depression is a real medical condition. It's not just 'all in your head' and it's just going to 'go away' if you don't get help. Too many people don't understand that, and think that a person complaining of depression just needs to 'buck up' and 'snap out of it'. You can't, any more than you can just shrug off cancer through sheer willpower.

Because of that, depression is something that needs to be talked about. Let me put an asterisk beside this:

****Too many people get depression and don't even realize that that's what's wrong with them****

because people in general seem to have this reluctance to talk about it. If you think you have it - talk about it!

[Swardus]

Depression? I've spent most of my life in a state of depression, counterpointed with major anxiety -mostly in the form of social anxiety disorder. It's like forever drowning except when your head bobs up above the water and you can catch your breath. The longest bout -the most resent- has lasted almost fifteen years! I've been taking medication for about 9 or 10 of that. The irony is, I grew up in the sixties and seventies "drug free". I even hated to take aspirin. The last twenty-five tears of my life I've be a "tea-tottler". Now, I take just enough perscription drugs to help me to make it from morning to night, and then I take some to help me sleep. And I'm beginning to fear that I am slipping. This has proven to be the "thorn in my side" which I have to make due with, and I am growing weary of it. God has fortunately blessed me with a good sense of humor which has kept me going. But things aren't as funny anymore. So, how am I doing? I'm just "doing". That's all! Feel blessed all!

[Clarice]

More and more of humanity is suffering from increasing depressions and anxieties. If all only knew what was going on in them and in this world that causes the malaise and anxiety and sadness and anger.

The problem is not with the person, but with this world. This world is fallen and is hell for a child of God. This world is not a safe place for children. Why I hardly allow my physical children out to play in it! Why do we think that it is God's choice that His children play here? If it were, He certainly would not have sent His Son to rescue us.

Let me repeat. The problem is not with you or me or any person, but with the world. The solution to depression is not medication, or learning to cope - which is just how the lords of this world want their prisoners to respond, but in learning the truth of your imprisonment as a child of God.

Jesus came to save the captives. And He meant what he said. We are prisoners, captives, being held unknowing in an evil, awful world. Even the best here is tricks from the captors (the enemy - the minions and principalities of evil in the fallen heavens) to convince us that this place is not so bad, and that the problem is really us!

You are not the problem. The world is.

Find the Truth and be free.

Any who love this world, or anything in this world, do not have the Love of God in them. - John



clarice

[Dave G]

More and more of humanity is suffering from increasing depressions and anxieties. If all only knew what was going on in them and in this world that causes the malaise and anxiety and sadness and anger.

The problem is not with the person, but with this world. This world is fallen and is hell for a child of God. This world is not a safe place for children. Why I hardly allow my physical children out to play in it! Why do we think that it is God's choice that His children play here? If it were, He certainly would not have sent His Son to rescue us.

Let me repeat. The problem is not with you or me or any person, but with the world. The solution to depression is not medication, or learning to cope - which is just how the lords of this world want their prisoners to respond, but in learning the truth of your imprisonment as a child of God.

Jesus came to save the captives. And He meant what he said. We are prisoners, captives, being held unknowing in an evil, awful world. Even the best here is tricks from the captors (the enemy - the minions and principalities of evil in the fallen heavens) to convince us that this place is not so bad, and that the problem is really us!

You are not the problem. The world is.

Find the Truth and be free.

Any who love this world, or anything in this world, do not have the Love of God in them. - John



clarice

I feel the need to disagree here, Clarice...Clinical depression is chemical, an imbalance in the brain. A person can cause major damage by telling an already depressed person not to take medication. I'm a diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic (not multiple personality, it means I see things and hear things that aren't there), and I have to take a lot of meds that make me sleepy most of the day. I'm working to the day when I can live medication free, but it won't happen with people telling me to pray more, or have more faith, etc. Praise God you don't have a mental disability.

[Jade]

Luv, I just want you to know that I’m praying for you and that my PM box and/or my snail mailbox is always open if you ever want to write. Take care. :hug:





because people in general seem to have this reluctance to talk about it. If you think you have it - talk about it!



Since this seems to be a thread intended for sharing (many pardons if I'm mistaken). **May include triggers or subject matter that may be emotionally hard to read.**



Also there are several different types of mood disorders; my account is just one type. I’ve definitely dealt with depression quite a bit in my life, but it’s hard to talk about just that side of things so I’ve included both sides. Sorry it’s long--I’ve always had trouble compacting stories.



My first bout of depression (at 15 years old --1990) lasted roughly 2 years. It gradually got worse and worse until I turned to a bottle of aspirin (fortunately the bottle wasn't full). I spent an evening in the E.R. and a night in the hospital. Some fast talking (and a few other factors) kept me from being transferred to a mental hospital. After several more months the depression eased and disappeared.



During the next 3 years, I'd have episodes of hyperactivity (that went contrary to my normal self) but when compared to others--not significant.



Then at college midway through the fall of 1995, I had moderate depression that interfered with how I felt and my energy levels. I missed classes and concentration worse that usual (I've never done well in the traditional lecture style classroom). I struggled through 2 semesters (failing all the way), transferred to another school, and failed that semester too.



Early in the summer of 1996 my depression eased and I got a job at the local library as a shelver. Things were going well; my self-esteem was healthy at least for a few months. At some point I crossed from being on even-keel to being on an uphill slope. I met a guy during my shift one day in August of 1996. He'd hardly said two sentences to me when he asked me out on a date. Now if you knew me really well, you'd know that caution is my middle name. This day however I jumped on it and accepted the date--to someone I knew nothing about; to someone who was tall (6 feet tall) and not at all frail. That day I was on cloud ten. It turned out that he was a nice guy, which was a good thing. Elevated moods lower inhibitions just as much as alcohol does. You start feeling that nothing can go wrong and that you can do just about anything. Of course you are still responsible for your actions, but it gets harder to ignore impulses and easier to give into temptations.



This man, Brother Vinny, and I had a short dating time, and a long engagement. My mood didn't continually stay up during this time, but neither did I have any significant depressions. And no, we didn't succeeding in waiting until marriage. In hindsight we should have moved the wedding date up, but we were waiting on my dad's blessing (and his aide in the wedding). As it was we married in March 1998. The next 6 1/2 years were relatively normal. Yeah, I had ups and downs, and I had the typical postpartum blues after the births of my three children. And I stayed pretty much even-keeled even in spite of the stresses of 3 children in 4 years.



Then in Early December my world came crashing down once more. But it was preceded by 2 nights of little sleep and 2 nights of no sleep. I spent my time either pacing the house or focusing on one of my various hobby research topics. I was having difficulty with restless legs at night, so I obtained a prescription to help. Perhaps it was this medicine, maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was just time for a cycle (most-likely a combination); then on the 5th day as if someone had flipped a switch, I was depressed and severely so (I was actually seeing pictures in my head filled with me hurting myself in different ways—not fun, and actually caused panic attacks). Into the mental hospital I went. This began a vicious cycle: 2 – 3 weeks depressed, 1 week normal, 1 week elevated. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II (which basically means my moods swing & energy levels from high to low, but the lows are more severe or more difficult than the highs) This continued from December 2004 until April 2005. I was on various different medicine combinations: anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety. Finally I was put on lithium which actually helps with both mania and depression. That did the trick and leveled me out.



I stayed on it for a full 7 months. Then I decided to go off the meds in December 2005. Yeah, most bipolars have difficulty staying on meds, especially when they feel well. But I couldn’t deal with the side effects much longer, so I went cold turkey—another no-no, if you want to avoid an upheaval. After the initial withdrawal period was over (about 2 weeks), I was stable once again, and this time without the help of medicine. And for another 7 months things were pretty calm. That brings us to about 3 months ago. I began to have ups and downs again –- each mood not lasting more than 3 days and oftentimes mood changes within a day. To deal with this I’ve decided to adjust my diet (cut out sugar which can mess with moods), add fish oil with can help with mild-moderate mood swings, loose weight to help boost my self-esteem, and get my sleep schedule consistent, which also seems to effect mood. If it gets severe again, I will go back on meds (hopefully avoid some of the meds that gave me the side-effects last time), but until then, I don’t want them.


"And that's the rest of the story" -- Paul Harvey

[Clarice]

I feel the need to disagree here, Clarice...Clinical depression is chemical, an imbalance in the brain. A person can cause major damage by telling an already depressed person not to take medication. I'm a diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic (not multiple personality, it means I see things and hear things that aren't there), and I have to take a lot of meds that make me sleepy most of the day. I'm working to the day when I can live medication free, but it won't happen with people telling me to pray more, or have more faith, etc. Praise God you don't have a mental disability.



Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond again, Dave G.

Yes, you are right. I spoke out in haste, so wanting others to find freedom from this suffering.

Sometimes we do need to take medications, herbs, special diets, etc to balance our inner chemistry so that we can then attempt to find the underlying problem (which relates back to our attempts to function in an insane world and our feelings of separation and abandonment by God), which is what causes the chemical balance to begin with. Some may not be able to do this, and not by reasons within their realm of responsibility, and so the best choice for them is to continue taking the medications for the entirety of their lives.

Some though may be able to find the way through the web of lies that that has entangled them in this fallen world.

I was stuck at my fundie church, which I loved, suffering from rollercoaster depression and insomnia, thinking for many years that things could be fixed using the typical means offered in the world and by the church - Bible study, counselling etc.

One day I awoke driven to ask for any help I could find. I ended up taking Mannatech products [I recommend Plus for any suffering from mild depression, insomnia, pms, menopause, or any other hormonal/chemical imbalance] and an anti depressent. Within weeks I was a new woman. And within a year, God changed everything.

Over the subsequent years, He taught me the truth about this world, and what was going on inside of me, and if I had not initially taken the medications, I would not have been strong enough, emotionally, mentally, and physically, to receive what was being given.

Once the truth of this world is realized and the underlying cause of our maladies, we can become free from them. Grace can free us.

I no longer take antidepressants and am at peace within - knowing that I am child of God and that this world is not His Kingdom - thus not my Home. And if I do have trouble functioning in it, it is understood why and I am not eaten up on the inside over it. Also I have learned the reasons for all the ego games that mankind play (because of their feelings of unworthiness and abandonment by God - which is Lucifer's lie), and no longer play along, and so am no longer hurt or burned by this world in the way that I had been.

This freedom allows us to be servants of God, no longer stuck in concern about ourselves.

Thank you again, for another chance to share.



clarice

[Dave G]

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond again, Dave G.

Yes, you are right. I spoke out in haste, so wanting others to find freedom from this suffering.

Sometimes we do need to take medications, herbs, special diets, etc to balance our inner chemistry so that we can then attempt to find the underlying problem (which relates back to our attempts to function in an insane world and our feelings of separation and abandonment by God), which is what causes the chemical balance to begin with. Some may not be able to do this, and not by reasons within their realm of responsibility, and so the best choice for them is to continue taking the medications for the entirety of their lives.

Some though may be able to find the way through the web of lies that have bound then to this fallen world.

I was stuck at my fundie church, which I loved, suffering from rollercoaster depression and insomnia, thinking for many years that i could fix things myself using the means offered by the church - Bible study, counselling etc.

One day I awoke driven to ask for any help I could find. I ended up taking Mannatech natural products [I recommend Plus for any suffering from mild depression, insomnia, pms, menopause, or any other hormonal/chemical imbalance] and an anti depressent. Within weeks I was a new woman. And within a year, God changed everything.

Over the subsequent years, He taught me the truth about this world, and what was going on inside of me, and if I had not initially taken the medications, I would not have been strong enough, emotionally, mentally, and physically, to receive what was being given.

Once the truth of this world is realized and the underlying cause of our maladies, we become free from them.

I no longer take antidepressants and am at peace within - knowing that I am child of God and that this world is not His Kingdom - thus not my Home. And if I do have trouble functioning in it, it is understood why and I am not eaten up on the inside over it. Also I have learned the reasons for all the ego games that mankind play (because of their feelings of unworthiness and abandonment by God - which is Lucifer's lie), and no longer play along, and so am no longer hurt or burned by this world in the way that I had been.

This freedom allows us to be servants of God, no longer stuck in concern about ourselves.

Thank you again, for another chance to share.



clarice

Thanks for clarifying, Clarice, I just didn't want anyone who is currently depressed and striving to follow Christ to despair.
I"m glad you are doing better.

[luv1another]

so guys is there anything that you can do to help bring your self up a bit? recently a doctor told me to think happy thoughts and I would be fine :doh:

like besides meds is anything else you do/ a few people have said excercise

[TuckEverlasting]

so guys is there anything that you can do to help bring your self up a bit? recently a doctor told me to think happy thoughts and I would be fine :doh:

like besides meds is anything else you do/ a few people have said excercise
Yeah, exercise/eating right/being healthier in general can help a bit.

[Darth Executor]

This topic reminds me that I should crawl into a counsellor's office sometime next week.

[Adam]

so guys is there anything that you can do to help bring your self up a bit? recently a doctor told me to think happy thoughts and I would be fine :doh:

like besides meds is anything else you do/ a few people have said excercise
If by "meds" you just mean prescribed pills, health food stores feature pills like DLPA, Sam-E, octacosanol, tyrosine, and for some people St. John's Wort (and other herbs) is good. The melatonin fad is over, but it is good for some people. These are all natural products or are themselves body substances. But you really should use prescribed anti-depressants if you need them.
Fresh air and sunlight is important, especially in the fall and winter. Full spectrum lamps are great if you live where you can't get Sun in the cold months.
Adam

[Karenee]

I'm so glad you posted, Luv. You know what I go through. Frankly, I'm about ready to let the doctor prescribe the meds now that they've decided I'm probably not physically ill. I'm so afraid it wouldn't help, though. What if it really is just me making wrong choices and not having enough faith? If I took meds and they didn't work, then that would be way worse. *wince* And I hate side-effects.

Thanks for sharing, m'dear.

Karen

[Swardus]

I'm so glad you posted, Luv. You know what I go through. Frankly, I'm about ready to let the doctor prescribe the meds now that they've decided I'm probably not physically ill. I'm so afraid it wouldn't help, though. What if it really is just me making wrong choices and not having enough faith? If I took meds and they didn't work, then that would be way worse. *wince* And I hate side-effects.

Thanks for sharing, m'dear.

Karen

Unfortunately, the first few months of going on meds can be a real "trip" -if you'll pardon that word. You will have to try different meds in different dosages and combinations to get the desired effect. It may also be recommended to you to receive counseling.

Check known side-effects to make sure you won't have too many. Quite often they will try to balance them with another perscription, so keep that in mind.

:pray: Above all, keep praying!

[Jade]

Tuck is right, exercise & eating right do help as much as any non-prescription method, maybe more.

In addition I've found that Fish oil AKA (Omega-3 Fatty Acid, at least I think that's the one has been shown to help some. (I'm currently taking a supplement that has Fish Oil, Borage Seed Oil, Flaxseed Oil, & Safflower Oil in it.

Try to make sure you're getting adequate sleep on a regular basis.

Another technique that can help, especially those who find their depressions usually occur in the winter months: Light therapy -- uses a spectum light. Light Lamps can be a little pricey. However being outside a couple hours in winter's noon-day sun can help too. Just take a book outside to read.

Also just read an article that mentioned that reading/talking faster can help elevate mood somewhat. :shrug: That should be safe enough to try.

[Swardus]

Ye Gads! Paxil CR is on hold by the manufacturer! Nothing terribly wrong has happened (yet).
I must keep in mind the words displayed on the cover of Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "Don't Panic!"

[dizzle]

Oh my. Perhaps it is word association triggered by this thread, but the last few days have been downright awful. I also have OCD though which triggers a lot of it, and my OCD has been acting up in different ways than it has in the past.

[JardinPrayer]

I have made no secret of my nearly lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder here at TWeb, Luv. I've described my very-nearly-successful suicide attempt in the bleak winter of 1994. So, here's my two cents' worth:

In the USA, suicidal ideation (thinking about killing yourself) is considered a "medical emergency," and those in that position are urged to get immediate attention (i.e. go to the emergency room). You have not said anything about actually attempting suicide, unless I passed over it reading too quickly, but please don't make the mistake of believing that thinking about it is a "safe" thing, particularly if it has plagued you for so many years.

I'm with Jade in having personal experience to back up the research that most bipolars and depressives have a tough time actually staying on their medication until or unless a psychiatrist or other medical professional instructs them otherwise. I've been on Lithium since 1994 and have taken myself on and off of it many times. Once it is completely out of my system, I'm always dismayed at the results and those around me are, too. I need to have my brain chemistry balanced with pharmaceuticals, period. Spiritual attack or not, the affliction is in the chemistry. If you can't cast it out with prayer and faith, then you'd better get to the doctor.

That said, I believe it was a wrong choice in medicine that led me to actually do something about killing myself rather than simply lay around thinking about it. Prozac is now in that class of drugs that come with a warning to watch for suicidal tendencies. A woman in my class at church just told us last week that she lost her 14-year-old daughter 2 months ago because of a Zoloft-induced suicide. So, if you don't trust your doctor, then get educated and have someone watching over you who is also educated. I found a very straightforward (occasionally too much so) website that brings it all together when trying to make sense of all the medication options. It's run by a renegade epileptic who is brilliant and firey and sometimes uses colorful language, but has really done his homework. It's called Crazy Meds (http://www.crazymeds.org). It may help you, too.

You asked what can be done to help you feel better.


Absolutely excercise. The funny thing, though, is that when you're depressive, that's the last thing you wanna do. That's why I don't. So, as good as that advice may be, it may not be the solution for you until you can get the chemistry balanced. Still, if you're motivated to give it a try...go for it!
Having someone you trust - or several someones - is crucial. Feelings of isolation can be overwhelming when you're depressed. I remember sitting and going through my address book over and over and looking at the names of people who love me and would have been there in a heartbeat had I picked up the phone, but always deciding they wouldn't care and so never trying to reach out. Whining and making yourself generally tiring to be around is sometimes a good way to test the limits of someone who might otherwise be a trustworthy friend. Pity parties don't serve either of you. Use those you trust to ask for a hand up, then accept it! Let them inspire and encourage you. Allow yourself to benefit from their love. (Ahem...Ms. Xena, you know how to contact me.)
Give it to God. Nothing can heal like the Great Physician and no one can comfort like the Holy Spirit. If you're going to pray, let me remind you that the psalms can be a wonderful resource when you are hurting - especially the ones that lament. I noticed recently that the psalms that do the best job of crying, "Woe is me," also invariably end with praise and worship. It's like you can see God working in the psalmist right there! Make your complaints to Him, and then open yourself fully to Him, inviting Him to work in you. Stay there until you feel a change. Keep God the center of your focus and remember that by His stripes, you are healed and the only reason you still suffer is because the devil is a liar.

That's all from this corner for the moment.

I love you, Luv.

Lynn

[Jade]

I totally agree with JP.

I did want to comment on this:



That said, I believe it was a wrong choice in medicine that led me to actually do something about killing myself rather than simply lay around thinking about it. Prozac is now in that class of drugs that come with a warning to watch for suicidal tendencies.


My therapist once explained that the reason for this is that SSRI's (Prozac, Paxil, etc.) have a sometimes have tendency to increase one's energy level before it lifts one's mood. Many who have suicidal ideation don't act on it simply because they don't have enough energy to do so.

Now a rabbit to chase:

If you start an SSRI and a few weeks later you start having quicker than normal (racing) thoughts or have lots more energy than your baseline (even-keel) self. Tell your doctor at once so he can evaluate you and adjust meds if necessary.

[JardinPrayer]

See, if two crazy people are in agreement, then you know it's good advice! :lol: (No offense, Jade!)

[Jade]

See, if two crazy people are in agreement, then you know it's good advice! :lol: (No offense, Jade!)

:rofl: No offense taken.

[Sevivon1913]

I completely understand Luv. I too suffer with bouts of clinical depression.

It is not true though you have to be on the meds for a year. I never have, and have had good years in between. Right now I am not on any, and I think one of the issues has been solved. I get insomnia easy when depression is kicking in and then the loss of sleep ups the depression. My doctor and I have figured out that as long as I sleep enough I can without meds keep the depression manageable without those meds. So I am on Ambien which does not for me have terrible side effects the anti-depression meds had and I have been without any anti-depression meds for about a year now with I think six years since the ones before that and am doing pretty well.

Also I have found that the exercise I am doing is helping quite a bit.

There was a very good documentary, by Stephen Fry, about it in the UK a fortnight ago called "The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive". Here is a website with some very good information from the programme and there is a *.pdf adobe acrobat reader format Booklet to read. It's mostly aimed at MANIC depression (bipolar), though.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/secretlife_index.shtml

[Swardus]

That said, I believe it was a wrong choice in medicine that led me to actually do something about killing myself rather than simply lay around thinking about it. Prozac is now in that class of drugs that come with a warning to watch for suicidal tendencies. A woman in my class at church just told us last week that she lost her 14-year-old daughter 2 months ago because of a Zoloft-induced suicide. So, if you don't trust your doctor, then get educated and have someone watching over you who is also educated. I found a very straightforward (occasionally too much so) website that brings it all together when trying to make sense of all the medication options. It's run by a renegade epileptic who is brilliant and firey and sometimes uses colorful language, but has really done his homework. It's called Crazy Meds (http://www.crazymeds.org/). It may help you, too.

I just checked out the site, and it does have helpful information. Thanks!

I'm still struggling through the parmaceutical Snafu 's (I hope I can use that word), and finally got something, though it is a less-affective, generic-of-a-generic (as it showed on the bottle) instead of the real thing. I was taking two of the 37.5mg 's and the generic stuff is only 30mg max. At two pills a day,that comes up 15mg short of my regular doesage -that is, assuming these don't have fillers.

I really hurt inside concerning the families of those on these drugs who have committed suicide. You could say: "There, but by the grace of God go I!" although I've never seriously considered that solution. Let me try to encourage those who struggle with this neuro-deficit in brain chemistry to hang in there until the day of Christ.

I think that it is because of being a Christian, I put the feelings of others before my own. So "copping-out" on others -even if I sometimes feel worthless to them- is like a built-in failsafe system. However, I do also try to look at everything from the Apostle Paul's perspective: "For to me, to live is Christ, but to die is gain.". And so I carry on for Christ's sake and not my own.

And besides that, if one truly believes what Paul also said in Ephisians : "I am crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live. Jesus Christ now lives in me." So one has already done the deed,... from a spiritual point of view.

[Piebald]

Psychiatric medication is an incredibly, incredibly serious thing. The closest I've ever come to a suicide attempt (literally in a bathroom, with an instrument) was when I was, without docter supervision, stopping taking my paxil. That was about 3 years ago.

Paxil helped a lot, but I have started tapering it down with professional supervision. Yes, it did help me overcome a lot of social anxiety and stave off depression, but it also removed joy that I used to find in things like television, videogames, and books.

I first tapered down from 60 to 40. Now I am tapering down from 40 to 20.

Even WITH doctor supervision I find that I am very easily provoked to having my feelings hurt, fall easily into depressive episodes (extreme sadness, even crying), and have faint manic episodes. I have not lost my mind and entered a bathroom contemplating ending it all, though.

But, you know . . . I've also started enjoying things again. I can't remember having as much fun and as much joy as I have in the last month.

I might try a different medication. My plan is to keep going with this rather low dosage of paxil unless the social anxiety/depressive episodes continue. Then I'm going to get off it completely and try something new.

Unfortunately the nature of these medicines is that doctors just have to try it out on a patient and see if it works. If it doesn't work, they stop taking it, try another medicine and see if that works. It's a lot of experimentation. I noticed this when I used to type psychiatric medical reports.

The best medicine for anyone with depression is this: A Strong Support System. In other words, people to lean on.

[cuja1]

luv1another,

I know what you are saying. I'm 29 years old now but I have suffered with depression for many of those years. There are a couple things that kept me holding on. One thing, and this is probably the most important was that I believe that if I kill myself, I will go to hell. That to me says that suicide is no solution at all. If I kill myself, I will go into an eternity of depression. If I hang on there is hope that it will all change. That is the other reason I could hang on; I believe that my circumstance will eventually change and I will have a whole new circumstance to be depressed about. No just kidding. Like you said, my mood would eventually swing around and things would be alright again.

Sometimes it's the fear of losing. So I've got a nice job, a care, and health insurance. But so what. Why waste my life worrying that I might lose it. If I have to be a bum and live on the streets then so be it. Most likely I will never be homeless, that is the extreme situation. My point is that if you can just let go of what you're hanging on to, you can feel alot better. God is the one that ultimately takes care of us anyway. He's not going to let you go hungry and naked.

Maybe I'm not talking to your circumstance, but these are the fears that I had.

As far as medication goes, I wouldn't deny anyone from taking it, but I have found that it caused my to do some strange things. I can go into that later if you would like.

I wish you all the best and I will say a prayer for you right now.

Jeff

[cuja1]

so guys is there anything that you can do to help bring your self up a bit? recently a doctor told me to think happy thoughts and I would be fine :doh:

like besides meds is anything else you do/ a few people have said excercise

I think exercise is great, it helps me a lot. The other thing I do is just weather the storm so to speak, take a hot bath, or try to do something else I enjoy. Sometimes you have to make time for yourself.

[luv1another]

thanks cuja :smile: nope those arnt exactly my circumstances...but its great your willing to talk...while your saying prayers Jade above really needs them check the chaplains office :sad:

thankyou to everyone who has contributed to this thread its good to know others do go through this and some things that have helped or not helped :hug:

[Rahab]

thanks cuja :smile: nope those arnt exactly my circumstances...but its great your willing to talk...while your saying prayers Jade above really needs them check the chaplains office :sad:

thankyou to everyone who has contributed to this thread its good to know others do go through this and some things that have helped or not helped :hug:

((((luv1another))))

The only comment I need to make is that under no circumstances should people who suffer of clinical depression and other mental disorders modify their dosage or attempt to "ween" themselves off their meds without medical supervision and approval. Diet, exercise, relaxation methods, support groups all contribute positively to behavior and thought balance. However, none are to replace the use of anti depressants, neuroleptics or anti psychotic drugs.

However, when it comes to non clinical depression caused by circumstances such as loss of a love one, loss of employment, divorce etc....... the temporary use of a mild anti depressant such as Cymbalta at low dose can be a self weening process once the person has regained the ability to recover from the emotional impact caused by the difficult circumstance.

My mother was first diagnosed as a manic depressive. Only later in her life was she properly diagnosed as a schizophrenic. Any variation of dosage would affect her tremendously. She attempted several times to ween herself off her meds. Each time, a relapse would occur propelling her into mental health care institutions for periods up to 3 months. During her relapse, she was in complete denial of her need for pursued and consistant medical treatment. She would experience "highs" of excitation, hyper activity, sense of ultimate achievements to reach, etc.... leading her to making choices where she endangered herself and others. On her last relapse (which I did not detect on time as she could be so convincing that everything was OK), she completed suicide not from a "low" but from a "high". She summarized her choice in her last letter to me as a statement of her freedom.

I cannot emphasize enough the vital importance for those diagnosed with any form of clinical depression to remain under close medical supervision and pursue the treatment prescribed by their physician.

Piebald mentionned people who support you. They are not only very important as a caring environment but also as those who can detect any possible upcoming relapse. The first signs being: a self decision to ween off meds or modify the dosage without medical advice. Relatives and friends are often those who will intervene before the worst may occur.

Many of us have to depend on the consistant and long term use of drugs when it comes to both mental and physical health. I think of clinical depression no differently than any other physical illness necessitating long term use. We have to make a commitment of accepting that we need help to insure our longevity and well being.

[God_is_personal]

Before I became a Christian, I never considered killing myself. But after I left the Catholic Church and became a Jesus Bible person and was interested in being personally guided by God, all the time, spiritually involved with Him > THEN was when the suicidal stuff got started. Maybe because I was more "spiritual" and so I could ALSO get more spiritually involved with Satan so he could effect me like this. Also, while I was just going along with him in my fake religious self-righteous posturing...he maybe didn't have any reason to want me dead!

But, in my case, when I got willing to get rid of myself, I'd offer the choice to God, and then I would get injected with love with a strong fix that would make that stuff "evaporate". And then I'd be sweetly and pleasantly sensing sharing with the Lord in love. After a couple of episodes of this and "shots", it seems my immunity got better. But STILL I could and can have suicidal and death wish stuff, of hoping to get out of lousy circumstances.

Circumstances - - that's what can have to do with the problem, I'd bet. We worry too much about our circumstances...how things look, including maybe your weight. But Jesus says, "'Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.'" (John 7:24)

So, obeying Jesus, I'd say, can help to overcome emotional problems. And PREVENTING is better. It can help to start off with confronting myself not to worry about the details of my life. But trust God. And if the self-criticizing stuff even starts, right away to be on this...even though it doesn't work, often enough for me. STILL at least confess how I fail and offer myself to You, LORD...and I offer the others of us, too.

Being caring about others can help a lot...to get our focus off how things are in our own lives...caring about people, instead of fussing about circumstances, what we look like....whatever. Even death in the family > Jesus said to be ready, didn't He? I have done "death drills" in preparation for ones close to me, in case anyone does die...like fire drills. Better to be ready, prevention is easier than pounds of cure????

There is so much in the Bible that can apply to helping us stay clear of such suffering. It IS awful, and SCARY to get like this and not be able to do anything about it, on our own. So, we need to be humble, to share the truth with others...but I need to be ready for how others WILL fail me; I have to be ready to forgive how certain ones will turn out to be insensitive, incapable...and LOVE them. Love is the best defense...a good offense of love is the best defense. Get busier loving, praying and getting with God so I am loving more.

Or little things can break me down...like arguing can make us weak so we then are more available to depression. I read a counselor's book saying how a set of depressed housewives reported that their depression trouble started soon after increased arguing in their marriages. And the Bible does say,

"Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14) Depression does at least include how we HAVE been complaining. So the Bible can help us a lot.

[Swardus]

((((luv1another))))

The only comment I need to make is that under no circumstances should people who suffer of clinical depression and other mental disorders modify their dosage or attempt to "ween" themselves off their meds without medical supervision and approval. Diet, exercise, relaxation methods, support groups all contribute positively to behavior and thought balance. However, none are to replace the use of anti depressants, neuroleptics or anti psychotic drugs.

I cannot emphasize enough the vital importance for those diagnosed with any form of clinical depression to remain under close medical supervision and pursue the treatment prescribed by their physician.

Piebald mentionned people who support you. They are not only very important as a caring environment but also as those who can detect any possible upcoming relapse. The first signs being: a self decision to ween off meds or modify the dosage without medical advice. Relatives and friends are often those who will intervene before the worst may occur.

Many of us have to depend on the consistant and long term use of drugs when it comes to both mental and physical health. I think of clinical depression no differently than any other physical illness necessitating long term use. We have to make a commitment of accepting that we need help to insure our longevity and well being.

I can't agree with you more, Rahab.

But even with a perscribed dose, Life can go on, and yet one no longer enjoys certain things that add spice to life. I have never gotten back to playing music as I once did. I've aken up drawing, though, which has a soothing effect and some satisfaction.

And, as in my case, I don't have much support and understanding from family members. I used to like to fix things, work on projects, and other such stuff, but now, not only can I not do these things, but I can't handle everyday tasks. I try to get things done, but I can get really down-in-the-dumps when I'm pushed along, or badgered for not doing things around the house. After this episode with my medicine, I can understand why some people will "take the easy way out". But, that's not me. God, bring me on home, but I will not dishonor You by taking matters into my own hands!

[neonmagek]

I know there is thread about soldiers commiting suicide in here already well this isnt about that this is about depression...
first off it would be good to get as much information down in this thread as possible for those that think maybe they have it, or know someone with it...second I want to tell my story... I am not on pills yet but I want to write this out for those who have been or those who might go through some of the begining to end stages...I want to try and show people its not something we make up...no I dont think I have it as bad as some other people do or have had... I would like to hear those stories too... any info help that you could give others who may be going into depression would be great as well.

my story

ok for me I still struggle with the thought I have depression...like I said I am not on pills yet but I think I may be close.
when did it start~ hmm thats a good question we all have ups and downs in life...we all have down days and times we struggle for maybe a week or so.
well the first time I ever thought O killing myself was when I was maybe 13 or 14 I guess I dont think I had depression then tho it was just growing up with things happening in my life and in the past that I didnt know how to cope with I think...

meh I then really didnt have any real depression till after my kids were born....sure like I said I had times when I was down times when I did absolutely nothing and stuff but I didnt think about killing myself at those times.... so back to after my kids were born... after the first I was fine then after the second there were times I couldnt cope I didnt tell anyone I just used to take the kids and go visit someone from church or go to the shops with the kids or something like that...I volunteered at the red cross shop etc all to stay out of the house basicly where I felt trapped and alone. honestly at the time I didnt think I had any problem after all its normal to feel down most the time when you have small children right? also at about this time is when my marriage began to get bumpy too...you see hubby was working from about 6am - about 7pm so he would come home eat and go to bed...

well I took on stuff in the church so I was out maybe 4 nights a week...meh hubby nearly left so the pastor sent me to a counsellor ( I had been a Christian all of about 2 or 3 years at this stage)...I went and the counsellor saw me once or twice told me I was doing the right things and I didnt need to go back. great. wasnt long after that I had thoughts of how to go about killing myself ( if your a christian I still believe this was a spiritual attack tho and if your interested you can ask me more)...

ok I was fine for about 3 years just your usual ups and downs kinda thing... ok well after mum died in december 2000 I found things begining to get worse ( before that everytime I was down I could pick up the phone and say hey mum and talk for 5 or 10 minutes...I think thats what stopped it from getting worse...mum never knew I was down when I rang) I still had no idea what depression really was.

recently I found out dad has cancer and will die with about a year could be tommorrow he is 79 but on top of marriage problems yet again and still grieving over mum and other stresses I have had. things have got increasingly worse...
go back to a few years I would have months usually coming up to december like nov, dec, jan, where I had more down than up times and this has become gradually more and more... recently a friend did a test on me that phsyciatrists do to see how bad your depression is... I scored as severe clinical depression... how do I know it was right?
well for straters my marriage counsellor said I seemed prone to depression and recommended I see a doc and get a refferal to see him as an indiviual patient...I did this yesterday the doc was going to give me pills but said I should see the counsellor first because pills take 3 weeks to start working and you need to stay on them a year at least :sigh:

now going back about a year now I have been cyclic ,meaning I would go a few weeks on an up kinda mood, things went ok people cared I coped with anything in front of me fine...then suddenly my poor friends would be bombarded with do you care type texts...no one cared ( in my eyes, from my POV) no one would miss me, everyone would be better off without me etc etc etc.... no this was not luv1another needing attention and doing it the quickest way possible.

at this time it was like a cloud would come over me almost like eeyore and his little rain cloud that follows him but this dark cloud would drop over me things just wernt the same its hard to explain even right now while in a fairly up mood... you mind goes cloudy and your still you but your not in a way, you function and those around you may think your happy even, you smile you laugh at bad jokes and whatever else unless you tell someone or actually allow others to see it, they dont...I go to church or bible study or whatever and no one even knows its like kaz is happy...but those I confide in (very few) know they cope with the calls and texts and pms etc, they are the ones who basicly keep me going, stop me from harming myself.

you know I thought it was normal that people thought of killing themselves I really did, I thought the normal person you and everyone else had thoughts of killing themselves...my friend told me a few days ago, NO only 10% or something of the population do...

anyway this cloud makes your brain kinda fuzzy it stops you concentrating, someone may tell you something and you cant remember later... your concentration goes...work or things that you could do, you leave... like letter writing even when I was away I would leave letters for a week because I couldnt focus on what to write back, I will leave pms or emails for 2 or 3 weeks sometimes before I can think about what I should say in return... or I just cant deal with it and leave it for when I can. (unless its urgent or part of my mod duties then I can force myself to do it) my house it looks like a dump for up to 2 weeks sometimes because I cant focus it overwhelms me to think of doing anything, I am tired constantly no matter how much sleep I get... now this is while this cloud is there... when it lifts I have a fairly neat house...you could time it to the day as to when it goes because that day I usually have a burst of energy I clean and stuff and my house looks great (for a day LOL) also when the cloud lifts I can get 7 hours of sleep a night and function quite well at times I get 5 or 6 and do well and concentrate... on depression days no way I could get 9 hours sleep and feel like I had 2.

today I was thinking only a few years ago I would ask how could someone who seemed yto have it all, or someone who had a great family, or someone who had a great future in front of them, or someone with so many friends etc kill themselves...what a waste etc...what made them do it what was the reason... you know what I bet their reason would have sounded trivial to the normal population.

I understand so much better now... that cloud I was talking about it takes away things...it takes away the truth and swaps it for a lie... it steals from you the positive and replaces it with negative... you truly believe you are hopeless, you believe no one cares, you believe everyone would be better off without you around you honestly believe it, you may not want to and maybe there is something some small little light that says its not true but you quickly quash it.

the person if you talk them and say you care would admit you do but you have to tell them over and over its like it has to be repeated it doesnt sink in... to you it seems repititious you go I told you thi 20 minutes ago but to them its a life line its something that says maybe its worth being here even tho everything else seems dark and opressive.

the sports star may think he can never make he believes a lie something somehow that has been planted in his mind... the truth is swapped for a lie... the beauty queen thinks she is ugly or fat or that in a couple years no one will know her and so it doesnt matter swaps a truth for a lie, the young man newly married who finds out he cant have kids after him and his wife have been trying for years and its his wifes desire the things she most wants... believes he cant make his wife happy so she hates him, he cant have kids so he isnt a man...he swaps the truth for a lie... it doesnt take much.

I admit when the cloud comes over I see the lies as truth the truth is blurred it really is its hazy and its not that I want attention or that I need people to tell me they care constantly itsthat I am believeing things that arnt true and cant see the truth through the fog that covers my brain.

these people dont want to hurt others, they cant think of others when they are depressed its hard to remember birthdays or anything it sucks it really does.

meh I dont know what else to say or how to say it... I was shopping today and had a bad session of time and when it stopped I thought people need to try and see what its like I need to try and explain as best I can from my small perspective to give people some insight while I can.

I didnt do this to get pity or to even let you know whats going on with me...I did so that others will see it is real, so people will see others suffer through it to and they arnt alone, to show anyone can get it, to give a small perspective to those who dont know and may have someone around them who is starting to be depressed or is depressed.
I just think that so many people dont share their suffering and so others dont have a clue...I want others to be aware that the people next to them may have depression and they could save a life by just being there for them :shrug:

I dont speak for everyone, I hope they will speak for themselves...these are my thoughts and my experiences I am sure others are slightly diffrent.
What you need to figure out, and this is not easy, is why you are depressed. Keep in mind that depression is not the problem, it is a symptom caused by something else. Sometimes people are unable to identify why they are depressed. If that is the case with you, I think the best thing to do is to go see a good psychologist if you are able to.

Pills can be helpful but they are no pills that will fix depression. What pills can do it make it a little easier for you to help your self. Which is exactly what you have to do, help your self. A psychologist would help you help your self. The reason I say that is because no one can get you out of depression. What someone can do is help you work on your self to get you out of it.

After you figure out what is causing the depression, you have to figure out a way to get rid of the cause or causes. Again, a good psychologist could help you with that.

If you see someone for your depression and they give you medication, tell the person immediatly if you notice anything odd. People can have adverse reactions to antidepressents. The adverse reactions are sometimes psychological rather than physical. Some (but not all) of the psychological adverse reactions that can occur are, a sense that nothing is real (like you are watching a movie), that people are out to get you or you keep checking the locks at night to make sure you REALLY locked the door after you locked it (paranoia).

If you tell the person that you may be having adverse reactions and some of those reactions seem bizzare to you, please realize that some of the actual reactions that people have to antidepressents are bizzare and he/she will not think you are "crazy" for letting him/her know.

I had to deal with depression my whole life. I have tried a few medications for it. Some of them simply didn't help, one did, and others I had adverse reactions to. Unfotunetly I am not entirely out of depression as of yet but I am doing far better than I was. None of the psychologists or psychiatrists that I saw were able to help me. However, I know that they helped others. I do not know why I was differant in that regard. I landed up having to do it all on my own which was very very difficult to do and it took many years before I showed any improvement. The good news for you is that, most people who see psychologists or psychiatrists who are dealing with depression can benefit from it so it is worth a try.

[neonmagek]

Before I became a Christian, I never considered killing myself. But after I left the Catholic Church and became a Jesus Bible person and was interested in being personally guided by God, all the time, spiritually involved with Him > THEN was when the suicidal stuff got started. Maybe because I was more "spiritual" and so I could ALSO get more spiritually involved with Satan so he could effect me like this. Also, while I was just going along with him in my fake religious self-righteous posturing...he maybe didn't have any reason to want me dead!

But, in my case, when I got willing to get rid of myself, I'd offer the choice to God, and then I would get injected with love with a strong fix that would make that stuff "evaporate". And then I'd be sweetly and pleasantly sensing sharing with the Lord in love. After a couple of episodes of this and "shots", it seems my immunity got better. But STILL I could and can have suicidal and death wish stuff, of hoping to get out of lousy circumstances.

Circumstances - - that's what can have to do with the problem, I'd bet. We worry too much about our circumstances...how things look, including maybe your weight. But Jesus says, "'Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.'" (John 7:24)

So, obeying Jesus, I'd say, can help to overcome emotional problems. And PREVENTING is better. It can help to start off with confronting myself not to worry about the details of my life. But trust God. And if the self-criticizing stuff even starts, right away to be on this...even though it doesn't work, often enough for me. STILL at least confess how I fail and offer myself to You, LORD...and I offer the others of us, too.

Being caring about others can help a lot...to get our focus off how things are in our own lives...caring about people, instead of fussing about circumstances, what we look like....whatever. Even death in the family > Jesus said to be ready, didn't He? I have done "death drills" in preparation for ones close to me, in case anyone does die...like fire drills. Better to be ready, prevention is easier than pounds of cure????

There is so much in the Bible that can apply to helping us stay clear of such suffering. It IS awful, and SCARY to get like this and not be able to do anything about it, on our own. So, we need to be humble, to share the truth with others...but I need to be ready for how others WILL fail me; I have to be ready to forgive how certain ones will turn out to be insensitive, incapable...and LOVE them. Love is the best defense...a good offense of love is the best defense. Get busier loving, praying and getting with God so I am loving more.

Or little things can break me down...like arguing can make us weak so we then are more available to depression. I read a counselor's book saying how a set of depressed housewives reported that their depression trouble started soon after increased arguing in their marriages. And the Bible does say,

"Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14) Depression does at least include how we HAVE been complaining. So the Bible can help us a lot.

My life improved after I went away from Christianity. That wasn't the only reason it improved but it was a part of it. I have never seen where Christianity actualy got anyone out of depression, not even once. However I have seen people justify their depression using it. The cases I have seen is where people convince them selves depression is normal and even a good thing because we are not worth anything and that only god is worth something.

Faith can help people in that it can reduce stress, however there are also other ways to reduce stress, such is meditation, getting your self into a better environment .etc However faith never got anyone out of depression as far as I can tell.

There is no good reason to completely stop complaining. If we have a problem with something, sometimes, it is a good idea to complain. One of the major problems in most marriages is lack of communciation. If you had a problem with doing something or with what your spouse is doing, how is your spouse going to no if you do not object (complain)? If you do not complain, the problem with never be solved. That would result in a sterssful homelife, which is one of the major causes of depression. Following the rule you presented would only make it more likely for someone to be depressed, not less.

[neonmagek]

Yes, and I think that right there is something people need to be made aware of: depression is a real medical condition. It's not just 'all in your head' and it's just going to 'go away' if you don't get help. Too many people don't understand that, and think that a person complaining of depression just needs to 'buck up' and 'snap out of it'. You can't, any more than you can just shrug off cancer through sheer willpower.

Because of that, depression is something that needs to be talked about. Let me put an asterisk beside this:

****Too many people get depression and don't even realize that that's what's wrong with them****

because people in general seem to have this reluctance to talk about it. If you think you have it - talk about it!

Actualy it is all in ones head if one is depressed. However a depressed person is not simply making it up. It is a real medical condition that does just go away, as you stated. I also agree with everything else you said.

I have suffered from depression all of my life. I also suffer from ADHD and Dyslexia. Many people have told me to basicly, just get over it. Most people do not get that my brain doesn't work exactly like theirs does. My ADHD and my Dyslexia will never go away. The best I can do is learn to cope with it. The depression may or may not go away. People often think that ADHD is when a person simply does not want to pay attention and they also do not know there is much more to it than just attention span. They think depression is that feeling one gets when they got dumped by a girlfriend or boyfriend when they were a teen, which they got over in a matter of days or weeks. If you try to explain it, most people do not want to hear it, even if they asked about it.

The unfortunatly reality is that, most people do not care enough to honestly try their best to understand it.

-NeonmageK

[neonmagek]

Actualy it is all in ones head if one is depressed. However a depressed person is not simply making it up. It is a real medical condition that does just go away, as you stated. I also agree with everything else you said.

I have suffered from depression all of my life. I also suffer from ADHD and Dyslexia. Many people have told me to basicly, just get over it. Most people do not get that my brain doesn't work exactly like theirs does. My ADHD and my Dyslexia will never go away. The best I can do is learn to cope with it. The depression may or may not go away. People often think that ADHD is when a person simply does not want to pay attention and they also do not know there is much more to it than just attention span. They think depression is that feeling one gets when they got dumped by a girlfriend or boyfriend when they were a teen, which they got over in a matter of days or weeks. If you try to explain it, most people do not want to hear it, even if they asked about it.

The unfortunatly reality is that, most people do not care enough to honestly try their best to understand it.

-NeonmageK

I apologize, I intended to say, it is a real medical condition which doesn't just go away...

[neonmagek]

[QUOTE=Clarice]More and more of humanity is suffering from increasing depressions and anxieties. If all only knew what was going on in them and in this world that causes the malaise and anxiety and sadness and anger.

The problem is not with the person, but with this world. This world is fallen and is hell for a child of God. This world is not a safe place for children. Why I hardly allow my physical children out to play in it! Why do we think that it is God's choice that His children play here? If it were, He certainly would not have sent His Son to rescue us.

By the world you obviously do not mean the people because that would be "you and me". So what are you refering to when you say the world, the rock, water and soil? The odd thing is you are arguing against God putting us here yet you try to use the Bible as an authority. The Bible states that God put us here so you are using a book you disagree with as an authority?

I can show many of the problems that we have caused and how. We cause and fight wars, we pollute the Earth, many of us treat others horrably. Those are things that people are to blaim for. However many people have also done good things, such as becoming doctors and saving peoples' lives.

I am also sorry to here that you are so paranoid that you isolate your children. I hope you would look up the crime statistics. Crime is actual down, not up. Too many people fall for the fear mongers in the media ie. Bill Orielly.
Your arguement is very flawed but I think I will stop with the objections at the moment.


-NeonmageK

[Sevivon1913]

Christianity and depression are a catch-22 circle. If you are Christian, you condemn yourself for being evil (and then, your very belief in your own evil, you believe is thinking about yourself too much instead of Christ) and if you leave Christianity, you can still be depressed because of doubt that it might still be true (and you'll go to hell). So Christianity causes depression. If you didn't suffer depression prior to being Christian, you paradoxically think that "oh, I wasn't depressed because I wasn't Christian, and therefore being depressed by Satan." If you later suffer depression, you assume it's because you have rejected Christ. Christ himself was the greatest cause of this, with his parables which illicit suggestions that many people will BE Christian (Call him Lord) and not really be Christian. Naturally, alot of people panic that they're not a "true" Christian (and if they don't, they're not true Christians!). You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Really, Christianity is the greatest and most sophisticated brainwashing cult of all time. It will be a golden age when Christianity (and all religion, for that matter) are erased from human memory.

[neonmagek]

Christianity and depression are a catch-22 circle. If you are Christian, you condemn yourself for being evil (and then, your very belief in your own evil, you believe is thinking about yourself too much instead of Christ) and if you leave Christianity, you can still be depressed because of doubt that it might still be true (and you'll go to hell). So Christianity causes depression. If you didn't suffer depression prior to being Christian, you paradoxically think that "oh, I wasn't depressed because I wasn't Christian, and therefore being depressed by Satan." If you later suffer depression, you assume it's because you have rejected Christ. Christ himself was the greatest cause of this, with his parables which illicit suggestions that many people will BE Christian (Call him Lord) and not really be Christian. Naturally, alot of people panic that they're not a "true" Christian (and if they don't, they're not true Christians!). You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Really, Christianity is the greatest and most sophisticated brainwashing cult of all time. It will be a golden age when Christianity (and all religion, for that matter) are erased from human memory.

If one takes an honest look at the Bible and really looks into hard and your are honest with ones self, the Bible would be entirely rejected as mere mythology just as most people view greek mythology. In that case there would be not "what if" worries because there is no good reason to even consider such a possiblity unless evidence should present its self in favor of it (which thus far, after 2000 years, there is none).

[Sevivon1913]

If one takes an honest look at the Bible and really looks into hard and your are honest with ones self, the Bible would be entirely rejected as mere mythology just as most people view greek mythology. In that case there would be not "what if" worries because there is no good reason to even consider such a possiblity unless evidence should present its self in favor of it (which thus far, after 2000 years, there is none).

I think you're entire correct, but indoctrination and self-brainwashing is not just thrown away by rational thinking (atleast, not in the short-term). There is still the sub-conscious mind which will hold on to a certain level of "faith" (aka primordial belief/fear) even after the rational mind has completely disproven Christianity. The Bible even appeals to this primordial bit of our brain by its claim that it is "God" speaking to us, drawing us to him (the sheep know their shepherd's "voice").

[Piebald]

Having a family and having depression is a catch-22 circle. If you have a family you get mad at yourself for disappointing them. (and then, after getting mad at yourself, you start to perceive yourself as too selfish rather than giving your family the love they deserve) and if you leave your family, you can still be depressed because of doubt that you might have done the wrong thing by abandoning them and you are a bad person. So families cause depression. If you didn't suffer depression prior to having a family, you paradoxically think that "oh, I wasn't depressed because I was on my own and independent and therefore being self-centered and self-interested." If you later suffer depression, you assume it's because you perceive yourself as being too selfish. Your mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and spouses are the greatest causes of this, with their demands that you be true to them and not be phony. Naturally, alot of people experience stress because they believe that it's possible they might not be faithful to their family or spouse. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

Really, family units are the most sophisticated obstacles to human happiness of all time. It will be a golden age when people learn to live by themselves.

[dizzle]

Hamster answered your rantings Sev very well, but here is fair warning that I will report your posts if you continue to behave inappropriately in this thread. This is not the time or place for anti-Christian rants, take it to another part of the forum and show some class.

[Piebald]

I have suffered from depression all of my life. I also suffer from ADHD and Dyslexia. Many people have told me to basicly, just get over it


And that's the most frustrating thing about having diseases such as these. People can see a broken arm, or see you doubled over in pain from an organ disorder. But they assume the mind is some magical thing that isn't affected by the brain's state and is wholly determined by your "attitude."

One of my friends had it so bad that she would be bouncing off the walls one minute and then, literally, would have to sit down and cry 10 minutes later. We would be enjoying ourselves and then all of a sudden the mood would change and things would get quiet. She would sit down or sometimes even lay down -- outside-- and just stare there, blankly, often times bursting into tears. I am so glad that I do not suffer from bipolarism that bad. Of course I'm so anxious by social situations I probably have learned to keep it all inside.

[RumTumTugger]

This area is not your normal rough and tumble area. Take anymore off topic rants somewhere else more appropiate or I will personally move them myself to an area of my choice not yours. This means I will be watching the thread and will not allow it to be derailed by someone's insenitive pet rant.

[Jawa Man]

Edit: Sorry, responding to off-topic thing.

[Sevivon1913]

OK (Sorry), anyway I hope this next message is acceptable...

FAMILIES do NOT cause depression. It is the modern post-industrial erosion of the FAMILY and tribal unit which has contributed the MOST to the rise of "depression" in the last 300 years.

Do you know that in areas of the world which haven't left the tribal-unit structure (and have no regular contact with the rest of the world), depression is literally so rare that it is unheard of?


Edit: P.S. Thanks for degenerating a perfectly *serious* personal observation on depression, based on experience, into a "satirical" mockery.

[Piebald]

a perfectly *serious* personal observation on depression, based on experience


No, you attempted to draw some kind of correlation between Christianity and depression in an attempt to say something about Christianity. That's why you concluded your post with "It will be a golden age when Christianity (and all religion, for that matter) are erased from human memory." That was an expression of credophobia, not of an interest in understanding clinical depression.

And, yes, there is a correlation between Christianity and depression. For the depressive person every single thing in their experience can trigger a cycle of depression. Work, hobbies, art, a movie, a song, etc. Clinical depression is not rational. It is, by definition, an irrational sense of despair. Just like euphoria is an irrational sense of well-being. Christianity is not the only thing that makes demands of a person.

And that can include families. What I wrote was not flippant. What I wrote was absolutely true. The only thing it rebuts is the idea of holding Christianity and religion as some kind of depression-causing boogieman from beyond the moon.

If you want to argue if Christianity is true or not, then I will be happy to oblige you when I return to apologetics around Christmas.

[Sevivon1913]

No, you attempted to draw some kind of correlation between Christianity and depression in an attempt to say something about Christianity. That's why you concluded your post with "It will be a golden age when Christianity (and all religion, for that matter) are erased from human memory." That was an expression of credophobia, not of an interest in understanding clinical depression.

And, yes, there is a correlation between Christianity and depression. For the depressive person every single thing in their experience can trigger a cycle of depression. Work, hobbies, art, a movie, a song, etc. Clinical depression is not rational. It is, by definition, an irrational sense of despair. Just like euphoria is an irrational sense of well-being. Christianity is not the only thing that makes demands of a person.

And that can include families. What I wrote was not flippant. What I wrote was absolutely true. The only thing it rebuts is the idea of holding Christianity and religion as some kind of depression-causing boogieman from beyond the moon.

If you want to argue if Christianity is true or not, then I will be happy to oblige you when I return to apologetics around Christmas.

I agree, but I didn't mean to make a judgement about whether a certain religion is true or not. I was trying to focus on DEPRESSION and its causes, not on a religion.

I suggest that spiritual uncertainty can be a major factor in depression. I mean, are there really alot of people who, by joining a religion, they "cure" their depression? Obviously it's chemical...and what I didn't articulate (behind my anti-Christian bias) is that I don't think we should try to solve depression with conversion to another faith, or to measure our relationship with God according to our own depression level (i.e. a "I'm depressed, therefore God doesn't love me" or "I am on an emotional high today, therefore God is pleased with me" / "I am on an emotional high today, therefore God has abandoned me and Satan is no longer afflicting me" attitude).

In other words, we should not attribute spiritual significance (positive or negative) to depression, and *maybe* it is unhealthy (for some people) to view it as a bi-product of humanity's "Original Sin". Rejection of faith altogether, however, I believe to be detrimental to mental health (for some people).

[Malista_Dove]

I myself am only 16 and I suffer from depression. I am on 2 different medications. I am also engaged to a man who was recently deployed to Iraq. He arrived back from Iraq about a year ago. He suffers from Post-traumatic stress and depression. The army really screwed up his life. He has to visit a psychiatrist often and when he forgets to take his medication, he gets extremely moody and bossy.

My doctor told me, also, that eating right, exercising, and taking your medications can help you out significantly. Depression can cause you to loose sleep and hurt physically so keeping physically healthy can help you feel alot better.

[luv1another]

an update..
a friend told me about some homeopathic tablets that helped him and I have started taking them and they seem to be helping... they increase your seratonin levels.
the ones I am trying at the moment is SAMe with saint john worts
another I have ordered from USA (in australia you can only buy it through a naturopath) to try out is 5HTP or another name it goes by is proxan.
also apparently green tea and bannanas can help too.

I have noticed once I started taking the SAMe tablets that even when I feel sad I dont start thinking suicidal thoughts like I was so thats good and my head doesnt feel so foggy... I have only just started taking them about 5 days ago so I will have to continue and see if I continue to feel like this or better or whatever and also it will be interesting to see if when I switch to the 5HTP tablets if there is a change in anyway too I plan on finishing the two bottles of SAMe I have and if the 5HTP are here switch to the two bottles of those and just see whats better.

I dont really know how to explain depression but that it is not something someone just puts on...normal people dont think about killing themselves when ever something goes wrong...even if it was attention seeking people dont normally stoop to that just to get attention.
if someone is talking suicide take them serious because even if they dont seriously consider doing it then talking about is an indication of depression or bi polar and it can get worse.

someone mentioned things not right sending people into depression...recently I read that this era is making people depresed we eat diffrent have more tools and things to make life easier yet more stress and its causing chemical inbalances because our body wasnt meant to have so much stress and stuff.

for me its a multitude of things that have caused me stress I think..including my mothers death 5 years ago, dad being sick with cancer atm to name a couple
and I am getting more sure that it is a chemical inbalance from what I have seen so far.

but yeah depression is like being in a grey cloud...like when you havnt had anysleep for 24 hours or something...you dont think straight and your mind doesnt quite work how you want and your more emotional etc you walk around kinda hazy and stuff :shrug: but seriously unless you have been there its really hard to describe. just know its not how the person would normally be or how they want to be and they need you to try and understand.

[Storico]

....
but yeah depression is like being in a grey cloud...like when you havnt had anysleep for 24 hours or something...you dont think straight and your mind doesnt quite work how you want and your more emotional etc you walk around kinda hazy and stuff :shrug: but seriously unless you have been there its really hard to describe. just know its not how the person would normally be or how they want to be and they need you to try and understand.

:hug: I've had past personal and family experiences with depression. It runs in my family. You're right. It's exactly like wandering around in a fog. And speaking from experience, someone in that fog needs others to be there, and needs others to know that people who are depressed need contact. They might feel antisocial, but being with them helps beyond measure. Laughing with someone and listening to them and loving them just as they are is better medicine than some pills are.

[Twilly Spree]

My depression stems from my anxiety. If my anxiety is under control, so is the depression.

[dizzle]

Yeah I find the same thing Twilly, but not always. But I do get anxiety attacks, I am refferring to the ones that have no basis in anything... somthing stressful may not even be happening, but all of a sudden it is horrible. My mother suffered from them terribly even to having visual aberrations.

[dizzle]

:hug: I've had past personal and family experiences with depression. It runs in my family. You're right. It's exactly like wandering around in a fog. And speaking from experience, someone in that fog needs others to be there, and needs others to know that people who are depressed need contact. They might feel antisocial, but being with them helps beyond measure. Laughing with someone and listening to them and loving them just as they are is better medicine than some pills are.

I dunno, sometimes I really do want to be alone when depressed, and it is stressful to have people intruding... I have mentioned stressful like ten times today, I think I need to chill out.

[Twilly Spree]

Yeah I find the same thing Twilly, but not always. But I do get anxiety attacks, I am refferring to the ones that have no basis in anything... somthing stressful may not even be happening, but all of a sudden it is horrible. My mother suffered from them terribly even to having visual aberrations.

I haven't had an attack in probably a year now. But it's always there, it can be tiring sometimes. I just worry, alot, completely irrational worries to the point of physical illness. The Lexapro I've been taking for the last 4 years has really helped tone down the worry. I still worry, but it's not as extreme as it used to be.

[Storico]

I dunno, sometimes I really do want to be alone when depressed, and it is stressful to have people intruding... I have mentioned stressful like ten times today, I think I need to chill out.

:yes: I suspect people deal with depression differently. People intruding and telling you to snap out of it, or 'oh, you'll feel better soon', or my personal favourites :ahem: "you have nothing to be sad about! my day was a lot harder than yours!...." and "Tell me about it. If you tell me, it'll get better!" -- all of those are what I'd call "vexations to the spirit". When I'm depressed (and I have been lately), I do two things, usually: I get vocally quiet, and my ability to make decisions/to take action is impaired a good deal. I'll sit quietly for hours and not mind, or read or post online if it means not having to talk out loud. There's somehow a difference, to me. That being said, if someone wants to sit quietly with me, I welcome their presence if it's gentle and lets me just be myself. I need the down time, sometimes. This time of year is NOT conducive to it.

[dizzle]

Are there many side effects? I have periodically have had to have anxiety/depression meds but the side effects are always pretty bad, so although I would likely do better to stay on them for longer, I get off of them once things get manageable because the side effects are so bad for me. I have never taken Lexapro. For a major depression years ago, Serzone was very effective, but again side effects. More recently Zoloft was effective, but again bad side effects. Efexor was tried but I couldn't tolerate it at all. I am very sensitive to any kind of medications and avoid whatever I can, even simple things like Advil.

I had an anxiety attack out of the blue recently. For those of you who don't know what we are talking about, it usually happens in calm situations, but all of a sudden, your breathng gets shallow, rapid heartrate, you feel like you are going to pass out, and then getting panicked over that, wondering if you are like having a heart attack or somethng just makes it worse. My mother got to the point she couldn't even breathe. I find if I just walk it off and use relaxation techniques it works. But it is scary.

[Twilly Spree]

Are there many side effects? I have periodically have had to have anxiety/depression meds but the side effects are always pretty bad, so although I would likely do better to stay on them for longer, I get off of them once things get manageable because the side effects are so bad for me. I have never taken Lexapro. For a major depression years ago, Serzone was very effective, but again side effects. More recently Zoloft was effective, but again bad side effects. Efexor was tried but I couldn't tolerate it at all. I am very sensitive to any kind of medications and avoid whatever I can, even simple things like Advil.

I had an anxiety attack out of the blue recently. For those of you who don't know what we are talking about, it usually happens in calm situations, but all of a sudden, your breathng gets shallow, rapid heartrate, you feel like you are going to pass out, and then getting panicked over that, wondering if you are like having a heart attack or somethng just makes it worse. My mother got to the point she couldn't even breathe. I find if I just walk it off and use relaxation techniques it works. But it is scary.

I had really awful side effects from Zoloft too, alot of vomitting. Lexapro really worked for me, it's a more pure form of Paxil (I think). I has a little queasiness at the beginning, but it wasn't permanent. I gained a little weight, that's about it.

[Theologic]

an update..
a friend told me about some homeopathic tablets that helped him and I have started taking them and they seem to be helping... they increase your seratonin levels.
the ones I am trying at the moment is SAMe with saint john worts
another I have ordered from USA (in australia you can only buy it through a naturopath) to try out is 5HTP or another name it goes by is proxan.
also apparently green tea and bannanas can help too.

.....

If you are research oriented, you may want to do a Pubmed search on SAMe (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?CMD=search&DB=pubmed) but you'll want to use the term "S-adenosyl-L-methionine." Also, it is probably worth popping 1 or 2 Omega-3 capsules, as the research is promising here also. So SAMe and Omega-3 seem like spending the effort here. The effects are slow, however.

The other methodologies such as Saint Johns Wort don't seem to be panning out very well in the research. The same goes for serotonin precursers such as HTP or tryptophan or bananas. However, I haven't really researched this of late....and I'm more of a nutrition geek than any real expert.

Theo "Second Post" Logic

[dizzle]

I don't like burping up fish all day. It is depressing.

[Theologic]

I don't like burping up fish all day. It is depressing.

If it makes you feel any better:

1. The burps normally stop within a week or two.
2. Enteric capsules are supposed to dissolve in the intestine and miss the two week burp cycle.
3. Probably best to keep them in the refrigerator so they are fresh. Rancid will also cause burping.

As another point, Omega-3 is made by very few root suppliers. Consumerlabs.com had a nice free-bee review (http://www.consumerlab.com/results/omega3.asp) and basically everything they tested was a good Omega-3 source.

Theo "King Of Trivia" Logic

PS Post #3

[Gabby]

I don't like burping up fish all day. It is depressing.

Hemp seed oil has Omega 3 and Omega 6 and can be used in smoothies or as an ingrediant for salad dressing. Or you could also get ground hemp seed and just sprinkle it over a salad, veggies, ect. It's got a nice flavor.