Ask D'ung!

[jpholding]

Seeing as how I have some time, I've decided to open the floor for a feature that will begin with the Hearthstone site's 11/30 revamp.

"Ask D'ung" was briefly mentioned elsewhere as an idea to have a Cartel agent answer mail. Of course, he doesn't actually want to and so he responds to mail unpleasantly.

If anyone would like to prime the pump with questions for D'ung, please do so. I may wait until 11/30 to post the answers. :wink:

[Darth Executor]

Dear D'ung,

If you were human, how would you interact with the opposite sex?

[JB]

:hehe: Oh dear. I can already see trouble brewing on the horizon.

Well, this oughta get D'ung riled up.

--------------------

Dearest and ever-loathable D'ung,

I hope you don't mind receiving this letter. Of course, undoubtedly you will, in fact, be terribly bothered by the experience. However, such is life for Cartel scum such as yourself.

I have several questions that I would like to submit for you to answer.
When and how was the Cartel founded?
Have you ever heard of a fellow named Eidolon? If so, what are your impressions of him?
I have a vial of Sk'lan blood sitting on my dresser. What's it good for? I was thinking of maybe decorating the walls of the bathroom with droplets of it, but I'd like to hear your take.
How many chains of command does the Cartel have?
Have you ever been placed in charge of any of the Cartel's operations?
How do you respond to the following assertion?
As a single example, we the selalighi should make what, it is? The abnormal Sanslorian reaches the point where you become bald, travels to the edge of the Nullaborian north. This requires the mass dance which is mixed. As for your Tilkrig there is a fire, therefore bake the confectionary treat. Sk'lan do not live by grainfruit alone. As for medicine in us! "Three" from the allegation divides with the tube organ inside them in regard to the character of monstrosity power from the south range of the fruit. You occur!
Is the Axis a pleasant location for a vacation in the cooler periods of the revolution?
Which is largest: Sylidbia, Pholista, or Elxisia?
Is there anyone famous (or infamous) in your ancestry?
What is the Cartel's ultimate goal?

I wish I had more time to write, but I hear the sounds of a lower lifeform's digestive system reversing.

Thank you for your time. You are truly an operative with doodoo in your soul. A mild curse upon the bones of your iniquitous ancestors.

With sincerest distaste,

J'jiib

[Piebald]

Dear sir, why do you have such an unfortunate name?

[jpholding]

D'ung reports that he is very happy to be receiving so many questions because it gives him a chance to rant a bit and get his blood pressure up.

He wishes to express his gratitude by sharing his banner with you.

Soon he will also show you how he celebrates receiving your letters.

[JB]

D'ung reports that he is very happy to be receiving so many questions because it gives him a chance to rant a bit and get his blood pressure up.

:hehe: You have no idea how much I look forward to seeing this.


He wishes to express his gratitude by sharing his banner with you.

Soon he will also show you how he celebrates receiving your letters.

Ah good, D'ung is a Sk'lan. I was initially a bit uncertain as to whether D'ung would turn out to be a Sk'lan or one of the Cartel's other operatives (e.g., a Tilkrig). This should make his answer to my third question all the more fascinating.

A very nice banner, I add.

[jpholding]

:hehe: You have no idea how much I look forward to seeing this.


I think I will enjoy it too. Here is how I will introduce the Ask D'ung feature on a hub page:


D'ung is a very friendly Cartel operative who would just love to answer your questions by slitting your throat. But since he can't get to you, a few insults will do.

And here is how he will be introduced on his own page:


Sk'lan aren't all bad guys. Take this one for instance. He's NOT what a good Sk'lan is like. But he is here to answer your questions....sort of. Write him a note at <a href="mailto:askdung@hotmail.com">this address</A> and we'll let him answer and post your question and his answer here.


I managed to get the email address "askdung at hotmail.com". I wonder why it wasn't taken before.



A very nice banner, I add.

Thank you. Banners like these will become standard on the site for the revamp. Here are a couple more.

[JB]

And here is how he will be introduced on his own page:


Sk'lan aren't all bad guys. Take this one for instance. He's NOT what a good Sk'lan is like. But he is here to answer your questions....sort of. Write him a note at <a href="mailto:askdung@hotmail.com">this address</A> and we'll let him answer and post your question and his answer here.

:hehe: Nice. Will the letters he receives be posted in their fullness, or will the questions be ripped from their literary context? :wink:


I managed to get the email address "askdung at hotmail.com". I wonder why it wasn't taken before.

I actually wouldn't have been surprised if it had been taken. Say, by a certain Brooks fellow trying to abide by those "truth in advertising" laws...


Thank you. Banners like these will become standard on the site for the revamp. Here are a couple more.

The second one is downright awesome. What will those particular features be?

[jpholding]

:hehe: Nice. Will the letters he receives be posted in their fullness, or will the questions be ripped from their literary context? :wink:

Nah, I'll print in entiety. :hehe:


The second one is downright awesome. What will those particular features be?

Unplugged is a broad name for the section with things like Ask D'ung and Reality Bites, the latter of which includes stuff like the Hearthstone TV Guide. You might say Unplugged is an area for breaking the fourth wall.

Here's a few more banners....

[JB]

Nah, I'll print in entiety. :hehe:

:woohoo:


Unplugged is a broad name for the section with things like Ask D'ung and Reality Bites, the latter of which includes stuff like the Hearthstone TV Guide. You might say Unplugged is an area for breaking the fourth wall.

Here's a few more banners....

:thumb: Four more great banners.

[{Tim}]

Wow, cool. :teeth:

[jpholding]

Here's one I got by email:

*****

Dear Mr. D'ung,

I am distressed that you're receiving hate mail from people who have
never met you, and have jumped to conclusions without hearing you out.

On my world, we have people who believe that morality is relative. It's
all a matter of perspective. It could very well be that the cause of
the Cartel is noble, and just, and we're only getting a slanted point of
view from the perspective of the Range Patrol and those who oppose you.
I mean, how do we know Eidolon isn't a false prophet? How do we know
Sheila Rangslinger has the best interests of Hearthstone at heart? And
those people who call themselves Snowdrop and Brimstone -- aren't they
deviants, or freaks of nature?

And so I am grateful to Mr. J. P. Holding for giving you the opportunity
to present your case from your perspective. Tell us why we should
believe in you and the Cartel. Is the Cartel the best hope for
restoring peace and order to Hearthstone? What are the benefits of
joining the Cartel? And how does one join the Cartel?

All hail the Noble Cause,

A Potential Convert

[Darth Executor]

When does this go up? Soon I hope, or D'ung will find that there are things far worse than the cartel out there.

[jpholding]

When does this go up? Soon I hope, or D'ung will find that there are things far worse than the cartel out there.

Like Biblischism. :hehe:

Nov. 30th, with the other revamp stuff. I just have a little more to do on RP #5, then I can get back to final revamp stuff.

[Teallaura]

(Somebody has to do it...)


Hey, D'ung, how come Sk'lan are so funny looking? What happened to your fur? Is that why you act so up tight all the time?

[jpholding]

D'ung wishes to express his feelngs towards all those who have sent him letters.

[attachment=1]

Thank you.

[Teallaura]

Dear D'ung,

You're goofy looking when you're angry - did you know that?


- T

[jpholding]

I'll have to think about whether rhetorical questions are within D'ung's purview. Meanwhile here are some more banners. One of them, the first, is for my little bro's artwork.

[Frogwarrior]

I'll have to think about whether rhetorical questions are within D'ung's purview.
He may not be able to understand rhetorical questions, but I'm betting he can misunderstand them like any screwball.

[Darth Executor]

Who needs antidepressants when I have these kind of little pleasures in life.

[jpholding]

http://www.tektoonics.com/etc/askdung.html

D'ung has now provided his answers. He wishes you all well. As opposed to medium rare.

[Piebald]

I'll have to think about whether rhetorical questions are within D'ung's purview. Meanwhile here are some more banners. One of them, the first, is for my little bro's artwork.

subscribing to thread so I can remember to view it at home

[JB]

http://www.tektoonics.com/etc/askdung.html

D'ung has now provided his answers. He wishes you all well. As opposed to medium rare.

:rofl:

Well, I do see that D'ung will neither be winning the Riposte Gold Medal nor passing any IQ tests with a positive score anytime in the next few hundred thousand revolutions.

The frightening part is that you're uncannily skilled at writing like a perturbed, braindead ignoramus...

:eek:

[jpholding]

The frightening part is that you're uncannily skilled at writing like a perturbed, braindead ignoramus...


I get so many letters from them (see recent inductee "4colts" formerly of this thread) that it isn't hard to pick up a few hints... :hehe:

[Sir-Think-A-Lot]

To D'ung:


This is teh Borg. You will be assimilated into our collective. Resistense is futile. That is all.

[Leonhard]

It is uplifting to see a S'klan that is so enthusiastic about its duty. I have a few questions that I havn't gotten settled yet. Why are your circuits and eyes red? Was it just the fashion at the time? How does Holding get you to answer these mails? Which is your favorite candy, a chocolate bar, a sugar cane with squizzleberry flavour, a nice big icecream, hot fudge?

[Sir-Think-A-Lot]

Hey D'ung, I was curious. What do you do in your free time? I mean when your not responding to letters or planning world domination. Does the Cartel have television or video games? Or maybe theres a nice lady Sk'lan out there for you?