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Ok it isn't so quiet in here but our resident librarian will ensure that there is good discussion on literature, prose, poetry, etc. You may also post sermons, notes, and the like as long as it is not copyrighted material and within reason of the post length regulation.

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Short story

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  • Short story

    So I wrote a short story, and though I'm not going to post it here, I'd be willing to PM or email it to people, if there's any interest in reading it. For offering feedback, or just to read something that's, hopefully, at least a little readable.

    Any interest?
    I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

  • #2
    I'd like to read it.
    "I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill

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    • #3
      Originally posted by KingsGambit View Post
      I'd like to read it.
      Awesome, thank you! I'm messaging you on facebook about it.
      I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm definitely interested.
        I'm not here anymore.

        Comment


        • #5
          How about a synopsis?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Carrikature View Post
            I'm definitely interested.
            Great! Can you PM me your email address? If you trust me with it, naturally.
            I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Sparko View Post
              How about a synopsis?
              I'm terrible at all aspects of writing, but one thing I'm particularly terrible at is the elevator pitch. Let me think about that some and I might PM you a brief description.
              I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Zymologist View Post
                I'm terrible at all aspects of writing...
                yeah you might want to work on that marketing.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Sparko View Post
                  yeah you might want to work on that marketing.
                  I'm a long way from getting anything published, so I'm not too worried about marketing yet. It's just a hobby right now.
                  I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Zymologist View Post
                    I'm a long way from getting anything published, so I'm not too worried about marketing yet. It's just a hobby right now.
                    I was commenting on you asking if anyone wants to read your story, then saying, "I'm terrible at all aspects of writing..." :-)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Sparko View Post
                      I was commenting on you asking if anyone wants to read your story, then saying, "I'm terrible at all aspects of writing..." :-)
                      I'm in that weird limbo where I really like the story, and think it's pretty great, but...I just wrote it, so how good can it be? It's just so hard to judge.

                      Edit: Also strategically lowering people's expectations.
                      Last edited by Zymologist; 02-22-2016, 11:51 AM.
                      I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Zymologist View Post
                        I'm in that weird limbo where I really like the story, and think it's pretty great, but...I just wrote it, so how good can it be? It's just so hard to judge.

                        Edit: Also strategically lowering people's expectations.
                        I got your email and will probably read it this weekend.

                        I'm always still in trouble again

                        "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                        "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
                        "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

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                        • #13
                          well if it has bacon in it, that would be a good selling point.

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                          • #14
                            I managed to sit on this thing for a few weeks without really looking at it, and I gave it a read through on Saturday. I actually still liked it quite a bit, and it's still by far my favorite of the stuff I've written.

                            I did, however, notice some little things that I didn't like. Several of these were comments that other people had made, that I generally agreed with. There were some sentences/phrases here and there that just read awkwardly, or didn't seem to fit character. So I fixed those.

                            But I'd also been thinking that the ending could use a little work, and I had an idea to do it. I tried it out, and I really liked the result. So now what I've got is the same story, only it reads a little more smoothly (I think), and the ending is a good deal more impactful.
                            I DENOUNCE DONALD J. TRUMP AND ALL HIS IMMORAL ACTS.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm sorry that I still haven't gotten around to reading your short story as I've had several things come up irl and am guilty of spacing and forgetting. I will definitely read it this week.

                              I'm always still in trouble again

                              "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                              "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
                              "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

                              Comment

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