You have a good brother.

Yes. I don't have children, but I hear and see enough on this very frustrating topic.

Here in my church we don't provide that kind of childcare, but kids do stay with the staff on an ongoing basis. Our pastor encourage the parents to bring their kids to work, and I suppose it can be considered on the job training as well...

Write to your state representatives. Their staff may have some ideas.

Eh, yes and no. It was good of him to come out and help me for the 1+ year that he did. However, when he went back to part-time work, it was under the agreement that he would pay a small share of the rent to make up for not providing full-time child care anymore. Since then his rent payment history has been spotty and problematic; I have to nag him to get a dime out of him. He works nearly full-time now, leaving me to pay for almost full-time care, but I am also stuck paying for his living expenses: $400-$500/month for an extra bedroom in our apartment, $50/month for his car insurance, $30/month for the covered parking space he wants, the food he eats, etc. He's on the lease (which doesn't end until July 31st), so I can't do anything about it until then. But I will actually be better off financially living in a smaller apartment closer to where I work and paying full-time care than the situation I am in with him now.

I truly wish I had a job I could have my kids at. I have a friend who works for the Salvation Army and on Teacher Plan Days, she just brings her daughter to work with her. Must be nice. Thankfully, my daughter is almost at an age where I won't mind leaving her home alone on school days off, especially if I wind up with an apartment right next to work and can be home for lunches like I'm hoping.

There is a daycare with low rates available to state workers at the Thompson Center in Chicago, but that would mean getting a job there and commuting downtown. No thank you.

Hm, ok. Sorry to hear it wasn't really working out.

One of the biggest issues at work was on-site childcare. A majority of the workforce was actually sited about 6 miles from the daycare facility but because of the industrial nature of that part of our installation, and the massive railhead to boot, nobody really could work out anything that worked for both parents and kids.

Here in California childcare.providers must know CPR and I believe some basic first aid? I'll have to ask. That makes it even harder to find qualified care providers.

Yes I bet it is, I was lucky I had a lot of family to help when I was a single dad. I work for a small Christian owned company, the boss lets you bring the kids there. They hang out in the lunch room with TV and games, or in the mom's office. And the parents and the rest of us check in on them. I have seen a few kids grow up. I wish every company could make provision for on site child care - kids need to be near their parents.

Man the NZ system is way different to the US system.

Here the IRD would automatically deduct your ex's child support (and pursue the costs from him if he doesn't pay) and Work and Income would help you with the costs.....kids over 3 and under 5 also get 30 hours a week free Early Childhood Education.

I think here that's a state to state thing. And, as MsJack alluded to, it can be a huge pain. I get the impression that things has got tougher for deadbeat parents (mostly men) to make them pony up, but it's still a mess.

I know a young dad whose ex had tried to get more custody of their child, based on his working too much to have time with the child. I had the impression the environment at her house wasn't too great...the child was really stressed out and slept a lot whenever I saw the child after time at the mother's. The court said no, because if they're gonna share custody the parents get equal hours. it meant unfortunately the dad couldn't get a better job. That's all in the past now apparently.

Our government has put in new laws where if you're owing money to the IRD for things like child support or have outstanding fines etc. they will cancel your passport to prevent you from travelling overseas (something a lot of people do in a small country like ours) and if you're getting any benefit payments from the government, they will be stopped until you get it sorted out. There are chaps living overseas who've gone in to renew their passports only to find they can't because they've skipped out on paying child support.

My XH does pay child support. He pays $725/month in CS + $75 in insurance premiums. He is also on the hook for 50% of out-of-pocket medical expenses.

But the market rate for a 2-bedroom apartment in this area is $1,200 per month. You can find them for $900-$949 per month if you're shrewd. That puts rent + child care alone at $2333.33 - $2533.33 (assuming I choose the cheapest child care options; I'd actually prefer to put my son in the Lutheran school). After taxes, flex spend, union dues, and insurance premiums, my net paycheck is only $2262; add in the XH's CS and I only have $3062 per month to work with. Right now, my budget has $1,037 in additional expenses in it NOT counting debt payments. I will probably shave $265 off of those extra expenses by moving closer to work (driving less), getting an apartment that includes gas and utilities in rent, canceling cable, dumping Comcast for a cheaper phone + Internet package (my two-year contract with them ends in July) and not having to pay my brother's auto insurance premium anymore. That would still leave me over-budget by about $100 and with no room to pay off debts, add to savings, or put money away in a deferred comp for myself or ESAs for the kids.

It's not the end of the world; I have options. The YMCA and the Park Districts usually offer scholarships for students in their after-school care programs, so I might be able to get my daughter's after-school care cut by 25%, 50%, or 75% (not gonna lie, the fact that I'm a single mom and she's disabled and we also have a preschooler usually brings in some sympathy). I just finished my MA and I'm about to finish an HR certificate, so I have a lot more free time to pursue freelance writing and editing and can probably bring in some more cash that way (especially if I'm living close to work and spending less time commuting). I'm qualified for a number of promotions with the state that pay $300-$1000 a month more, minimum, and it's only a matter of time before I get one. I'll also be surprised if I don't get an offer of being transferred to Springfield in the next year, where all of the target HR jobs are and where the rent on a two-bedroom apartment is only $600-$700 per month.

But, for the time being, I have to plan on how to make it in this area, with the job I currently have, and the biggest barrier to me making ends meet is the obscene cost of childcare. The day my son is in Kindergarten, at which point my only childcare cost will be half-day care for him, will be a joyous one for me.

Ouch.

Those numbers look pretty close to what we paid when my daughter started childcare. We figured out that with two kids it still made sense for my wife to work, but with three it would break even for her to work and pay for childcare. That was with her ~$45k/yr job.

I know my parents have frequently run into the "we make too much to get assistance but not enough to pay for life" position. It's a tough one.

I thought I'd post an update: I found a private Christian school in the area that charges a very affordable $760/month for 2yo/3yo care. They said that they try to keep their rates low as an outreach to the poorer families in the community. I also found after-school care for my daughter for only $165/month. She's in 5th grade this year and this should be her last year of needing after-school care.

I found two other Christian schools in the area where expenses would have come to about $900/month for all-day 2yo/3yo care. So, I guess that is what I would tell any households that are struggling to afford childcare and don't qualify for government assistance: check with the private religious schools. I've noticed they often don't show up on Google/Yelp searches for "childcare" or "day care."

I wasn't able to find an apartment right next door to work like I was hoping, but I did find one 7 miles away (versus the 14 miles away that I currently live). It's $1045/month (with pet rent) and right around the corner from my daughter's new school. I move this Saturday.

If I stay in the area, this should be the last year where childcare is difficult. Next year, my son's monthly costs will drop into the $600s, and my daughter's will go away altogether. I'm hoping I've gotten a promotion and can move out of the area by then though.

Outstanding.

One more update to this:

The day that I wrote my last update, I went to pick up my son from childcare and . . . they kicked him out! Said that he was special needs and they couldn't handle him (and since they are a private religious daycare, they don't have to abide by Title III of the ADA). No one had ever suggested to me that my son was special needs before. I knew he was behind on speech and rather hyper, but I didn't think it was that bad.

Long story short, my son was eventually diagnosed with high-functioning autism. Now he doesn't go to daycare at all. He goes to public special needs preschool in the mornings and ABA therapy for the rest of the day. It costs $20/day in medical copays---$400 a month. Very affordable (but I have good insurance).

I wrote a post about this here (http://www.weighted-glory.com/2016/1...-happen-to-us/).