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One of my friends is not having a good situation at home. About two months ago, he met a married couple at church and they said to him that they were looking for a place to live. The husband lost his job and could no longer pay rent at the apartment he was living at. My friend told them that they could stay at his house, but they would need to pay rent. They agreed to pay rent and that rent is very cheap. Hence, they started to live at my friend's house. My friend noticed that they were not getting along well with each other so the husband moved out of my friend's house, but the wife continued to live at my friend's house and she is still living there. My friend is a single guy and he does not like his current living situation. He does not like the fact that a married woman is living in his house. My friend told her to move out of his house, but the woman told him that she has nowhere else to go. My friend asked if she could stay with any of her family members. She told him that she does not get along well with the members of her family. My friend also told her to find a homeless shelter, but she said that all of the homeless shelters she knew of do not have any vacancy. My friend told her that it is not good for a single guy like him to live with a married woman and that she must live somewhere else. I told my friend to give her a deadline to move out and to call the police if she does not move out on or before the deadline. If there is no deadline, she will stay there indefinitely and she will not have the motivation to find another place to live. Do you think my friend should force her to move out by a certain deadline even if she has no other place to live? What would you tell my friend?
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Last edited by Jaxb; 10-11-2015, 01:11 AM. -
She needs to leave.That's what
- She
Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals
- Manya the Holy Szin (The Quintara Marathon)
I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common
- Stephen R. Donaldson -
Immediately.Originally posted by Bill the Cat View PostThe first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.Comment
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Contact your Pastor. Someone else in your local church family may be able to take her in. Some of the other women in the church.. . . the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; . . . -- Romans 1:16 KJV
. . . that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: . . . -- 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 KJV
Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God: . . . -- 1 John 5:1 KJVComment
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Blithe, unhelpful advice. Most likely not what OP was asking for.Originally posted by Bill the Cat View Post
37818's advice is way better. Dude needs to call local churches who are supposed to be a support system. One of them should be able to help this troubled person rather than kick her out onto the street.
The level of callousness of some members is mind-boggling. A few years ago, my wife cheated on me with a mentally unstable young man, a black Jugallo (I know!). His Jehovah's Witness family had abandoned him completely, and it was obvious he was wounded and deeply troubled. He had nowhere to go, and I let him stay with us (as my wife and I were going to separate anyway). He stayed with us for 4 months and eventually moved in with a friend. He's now a successful truck driver and a hardcore Christian. My wife and I stayed together and are stronger than ever. She says she deeply respects me for that extension of mercy, especially as I didn't attempt to rub his flagrant mistake in his face. I made the right call.Comment
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The thing is, whag, that it is not good for a Christian man to be living in a house with a woman who is not his wife. The advice for the woman to leave is the correct advice in this situation.
BEFORE a mistake is made, as in your case.Last edited by mossrose; 10-11-2015, 01:54 PM.
Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.Comment
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There is no need to believe it's "kicking her out on the street". She needs to leave - it would be good to help her find a place, but that's a separate issue.Originally posted by whag View PostThe first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.Comment
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The mistake was made BEFORE the troubled man was living with us. My wife was devastated by her actions and cried almost constantly. I neither suspected they were having sex during this cohabitation, nor did I care (since we were going to seperate and probably divorce).Originally posted by mossrose View Post
And, no, the man would've been homeless and lost without me, as no churches volunteered to take him in. I called around extensively at the advice of Darth Executor.Comment
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That's the core issue behind the man's reticence to kick her out. Your advice is too crude to be perceived as caring. 37818's advice was actually helpful.Originally posted by Cow Poke View PostComment
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Sorry, I misread your post.Originally posted by whag View Post
Regardless, if the man is uncomfortable with the woman there then he has every right, as well as a moral responsibility, to have her leave. It is not necessarily his responsibility to find her another place to live. The church should have been more involved from the very beginning.
Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.Comment
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That's dumber than snail poop. I've helped many people in similar situations, and the only time anybody has ended up "on the street" in my experience is when they made that choice themselves. I actually had reserved a hotel room for one such lady until we could figure out what to do with her, but she conferred with her cat, and her cat told her not to accept the room because the hotel was run by Indians.Originally posted by whag View Post
The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.Comment
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I'm sorry... was I speaking to you?Originally posted by whag View Post
Regardless. It's what he needs to do.Most likely not what OP was asking for.
I'm sorry Dr. Phil. I didn't know we were in the company of a legend of what constitutes good advice...37818's advice is way better.
No. He needs to fix the inappropriate situation first. SHE needs to be the one doing the calling.Dude needs to call local churches who are supposed to be a support system.
One of them should be able to help this troubled person rather than kick her out onto the street.
It takes 15 minutes to make a phone call. Plus, this gives her a VERY good excuse to mend fences with her family.
It has nothing to do with callousness. It has everything to do with avoiding the impression of sin.The level of callousness of some members is mind-boggling.
I will not comment on your home life and the decisions you and your wife had made. I, however, would have never suggested at that time that the man live with you and your wife when you two were having difficulties.A few years ago, my wife cheated on me with a mentally unstable young man, a black Jugallo (I know!). His Jehovah's Witness family had abandoned him completely, and it was obvious he was wounded and deeply troubled. He had nowhere to go, and I let him stay with us (as my wife and I were going to separate anyway). He stayed with us for 4 months and eventually moved in with a friend. He's now a successful truck driver and a hardcore Christian. My wife and I stayed together and are stronger than ever. She says she deeply respects me for that extension of mercy, especially as I didn't attempt to rub his flagrant mistake in his face. I made the right call.That's what
- She
Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals
- Manya the Holy Szin (The Quintara Marathon)
I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common
- Stephen R. DonaldsonComment
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You shouldn't assume your experience the same as mine. I couldn't afford to house the guy in a motel. He credits me for helping him get back on his feet and is humbled that I forgave him. (Not sure why you paid the expense of a hotel. Motels are cheaper.)Originally posted by Cow Poke View PostThat's dumber than snail poop. I've helped many people in similar situations, and the only time anybody has ended up "on the street" in my experience is when they made that choice themselves. I actually had reserved a hotel room for one such lady until we could figure out what to do with her, but she conferred with her cat, and her cat told her not to accept the room because the hotel was run by Indians.Comment
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Thankfully for the guy I helped, I never bothered asking you. I asked Darth Executor, who suggested I call local churches--all of whom weren't willing to help housing the guy.Originally posted by Bill the Cat View PostComment
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I'm not. I answered for me. You shouldn't assume that I'm assuming....Originally posted by whag View Post
My Church was paying the bill. You know... one of those Churches you like to blast as "do nothings"?I couldn't afford to house the guy in a motel.
That's precious.He credits me for helping him get back on his feet and is humbled that I forgave him.
One of them thar places where you can rent a room for the night, whatever they're called.(Not sure why you paid the expense of a hotel. Motels are cheaper.) We have a standing discount rate, because we frequently use them for emergency situations like people needing help.
The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.Comment
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