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Thread: The Five Love Languages

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    tWebber Teallaura's Avatar
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    The Five Love Languages

    I'm reading the book by Dr Gary Chapman. Of course, I'd long since heard of it but I was only passingly familiar with the concepts. I had toyed with figuring out my own love language but being single - well, it never clicked.

    Until a couple weeks ago. It's bizarre because for the longest I couldn't tolerate anyone I didn't know - or trust - touching me but I think touch is my love language. One of the things I value most about my kitties is that they touch me - they are warm bodies that make a cold home livable for me. Few people do - and that's partially because I'm not as approachable as I should be - but the result is I don't get much in the way of physical affection (not sex ) except from my kitties.

    So, what do you guys think? Is Chapman's idea of a 'love tank' (analogous to a gas tank) a sound one? What do you do when you don't have a spouse to 'fill' it?

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    tWebber Christianbookworm's Avatar
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    For some reason, I like to give hugs, but I don't want people touching me when I don't want to be touched.
    If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

  3. Amen Teallaura amen'd this post.
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    Professor Catholicity's Avatar
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    I love this book. I read it when I was actually married to my ex-spouse, and even though we divorced due to abuse and affairs (clearly my love tank was empty) I actually know tons of people religious and non-religious who read it and have benefited greatly from it. The idea behind the book is fairly simple. Learn to speak the "love language" of your spouse, and compromise by "trading" languages. For example, if you enjoy touch and gift giving, but your r spouse prefers spending time watching the ball game and talking, then listen to your spouse and watch the ball game, but at the same time your spouse should fill your tank by touching and the occasional gift. Fairly simply do things for one another that are fullfilling. Its do unto others as you would have them do unto you type principle. Dr. Phil always says Marriage is not 50/50 but its 100/100. You must be willing to give each other 100 percent of ur self to your spouse and they should be willing to do the same. Of course there are things like children and chores and work, but lines of communication should be kept open where you learn to speak to your spouse in a way they can understand how your mind works. And as my pastor says, there is never enough ways to say I love you during the day. It can be verbal, hugs kisses, cuddling, but do it. Both of you.
    A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
    George Bernard Shaw

  5. Amen Teallaura amen'd this post.
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    tWebber Teallaura's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christianbookworm View Post
    For some reason, I like to give hugs, but I don't want people touching me when I don't want to be touched.
    I was a much more extreme version of that - which was why I found the realization so surprising.

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