Speaking before thinking...

[Bill the Cat]

Tragedy sometimes has us ponder strange things. First, a few stories...

Story 1:

This past weekend, my oldest daughter got into a bad car accident on the way to the beach in North Carolina. She suffered some pretty bad injuries, but nothing life-altering physically. Both wrists broke, sternum cracked, a few staples in her scalp, cuts, bruises, blood, etc... She will recover ok. Her boyfriend was in the car with her. He got 24 staples in his head, a laceration in his eye, and some cuts and bruises. Both had concussions. The driver of the truck she hit lost his spleen, has a few cracked ribs, and both legs from the knee down were shattered. He had to have a few surgeries to fix the damage...

Story 2:

I went to McDonald's drive through today and ordered a double quarter pounder meal with a diet Dr. Pepper. The girl taking my order must not have realized her mic was still on and she kind of snickered at me for getting a diet drink with a large sandwich...


Now, on to the reason for the thread... there was a news article online about my daughter's crash. Some smartass made a stupid comment about "that doesn't seem like an area where a stop sign would sneak up on someone"... ... what Mr. smartass didn't realize before he shot off his mouth was that intersection is notorious for accidents according to the woman and man who live in the yard her car ended up in. There is no sign warning of a stop sign ahead, despite several residents complaining to the county to put one up at that dangerous intersection. The crossing road is hidden by the tree line to the right and the building and tree line on the left. There is also a tree about 100 yards before the sign that reduces the ability to see the stop sign on a clear day. It was also pouring down rain and they were not from the area.

On to my lunch... what Ms. inconsiderate didn't get was that I take the meat and cheese off the sandwich and just eat that because my diabetes doesn't respond well to breads. The fries were for my daughter, the one who had the accident, because she can tolerate them on her nauseous stomach from the pain meds. The diet drink is because I have diabetes.



Why must we humans take great pains to pre-determine in our minds the reasons behind others' actions without considering that just MAYBE that is someone's little girl who got lost, stuck in a hard driving rainstorm on a road that had nowhere to turn off and ran across the worst intersection in that county... or maybe the guy ordering the large sandwich just wants to eat the protein out of it because he has a medical condition and isn't simply a hog?

[Paula]

Beyond prejudging people when you don't have all the facts, I think there is another dimension to this related to the second greatest commandment.

A common attitude: our mistakes are due to circumstances (didn't get enough sleep, headache, didn't have all the facts, etc) but other people's mistakes are because they are stupid, lazy, or selfish. The man taking too long to order in front of you is just stupid whereas when you take too long to order its because your thinking of your options. The guy that cut you off didn't just have an error in judgement but is a bad driver whereas when you cut someone off its because you didn't get enough sleep or didn't see the other car.

I think it was C.S. Lewis (when writing about forgiveness) who pointed out that loving others as we love ourselves doesn't mean not recognizing faults but taking the same attitude we take to our faults to other people.

[Cow Poke]

Why must we humans take great pains to pre-determine in our minds the reasons behind others' actions without considering that just MAYBE that is someone's little girl who got lost, stuck in a hard driving rainstorm on a road that had nowhere to turn off and ran across the worst intersection in that county... or maybe the guy ordering the large sandwich just wants to eat the protein out of it because he has a medical condition and isn't simply a hog?

I have a character flaw (irl) the other way - in which I too easily accept people and believe good about them. God has given me a wife who has, apparently, a spirit of discernment, because she will, from time to time, caution me about befriending somebody.

Once, when my wife and I were first married, it was a pastor who wanted me to serve as associate pastor under him. I thought he was a great guy and had some wonderful ideas. My wife very politely and respectfully cautioned me that she didn't think he was 'real'. I dismissed that because she was a new Christian, and had been a Lutheran, and she couldn't possibly know how Baptist stuff works.

She was right. I went to work for this guy at his Church, and it didn't take long to see that he was all about money and power and prestige, but could charm the dickens out of people. My wife saw it, I bought it hook, line and sinker.

Another time, there was a lady in our Church who was very friendly to us, and my wife warned, again, very politely, that this woman was 'after me'. I thought that was silly, til one day I was at my office alone - my secretary had gone to the post office and bank - and this woman came into my office and actually sat on my lap. It's the only time anything like this ever happened, and I told her to leave. My secretary returned just in time to see me angrily escorting this lady out of the building.

Since then, I have learned to trust my wife's judgment (which is never condemning - more cautionary) and I believe God gave her to me because of my own shortcomings. When she tells me "be careful about that person, there's something just not quite right", I pay heed.

[seer]

I thought that was silly, til one day I was at my office alone - my secretary had gone to the post office and bank - and this woman came into my office and actually sat on my lap.

I have her name and number? Just kidding - it does seem though that women have a better BS detector...