Loser Larry's Hey Moe Thread!

[jpholding]

Most excellent gang at TheologyWeb, it looks like J.P. soiled his shorts and ran wee-weeing home to his mommy as I knew he would.

Good grief, this guy is as dumb as Johnny Skeptic.

EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT SOMEONE HERE MIGHT TAKE SUNDAY OFF FROM HIS COMPUTER?

But I suspect he's eavesdropping so I'll continue to address him as I administer his whuppin'.

There's a "whuppin'" here? I don't see anything but blah blah blah blah. There's not an argument to be had in your entire diatribe here. Stoogey just states his positions as though that's "argument".

J.P., for your spiritual nourishment, I'm going to wet-nurse you through Matthew 24 ASV in complete context:

Thank you, but it's baby birds who eat vomit, not me. What's all this supposed to be anyway?

Was Jesus talking to you and Dee Dee or His Apostles? Were they talking about World War III or the destruction of the Temple? The answer is obvious.

Your argument....isn't. Half the time when you DO actually state a poisition, I agree with it.

J. P., change your shorts again, calm down, read on. God has forgotten the Old Covenant, why don't you?

I have, Dumb Bell:

http://www.tektonics.org/lp/lawrole.html

For two thousand years, Fundamentalists in their vain delusion have used these passages to interpret the events of their day as conclusive proof Christ must be returning. Yet Paul and the Apostles believed Christ was returning in their day because He told them so.

What it is I'm supposed to have a problem with here, I don't know. Apparently Stoogey likes to hear himself talk. I don't disagree with his historical reports; in fact I'll likely use some of the same facts when I do my book on preterism (though I'll use something more grown-up than encyclopedias to do it).

J.P., I won't repeat Josephus but let's review a profound fact of history that you fail to share because you blur Mosaism with Pharisaism.

I do? Where? Quote me, Porcupine. I agree with the Jewish encyclo re Pharisees. Your point was what? That you take cocaine before you post?

J.P., here's where you fail us. Let's ask a Rabbi to help you:

Erm, Mr. Moron? Higger's comments sound just like my own article on the Kingdom of God.

The last bit is all I disagree with:

Clearly, CLEARLY, Paul and the Apostles anticipated Jesus' return in their lifetimes "by the word of the Lord." Did Jesus lie and mislead them? Evidently, J.P., you and Dee Dee think so because she says, "We believe in the future bodily resurrection, the future bodily return of Jesus Christ, the future final redemption of Planet Earth, and the future Final Judgment."

OK, Mr. Moron, so how about you refute my articles on:

* The nature of the resurrection body
* Hyperpreterism

now that you're done vomiting?

Now Stoogey, please pay attention....

I AM GOING OUT NOW. I WILL BE BACK IN ABOUT 2-3 HOURS. I DID NOT LEAVE FOR GOOD. OKAY?

Sheesh.

[jpholding]

So now that I have time, let's sum up.

1) The bulk of Stoogey's comments are things I agree with and even stump for.
2) In two key places, he doesn't even state my position accurately. When I say "consummate history" I do not mean "destroy the world" and I never say this anywhere. I do regard "kingdom of God" as primarily a spiritual concept (with of course, effects in the physical world) and say this clearly in one of my article.
3) In the end, his sole "arguments" for a hyperpreterist view amounts to quoting (without a single act of exegesis) a couple of passages that I have already explained, or else have nothing to do with the general resurrection (John 4, Matthew 24).
4) Stoogey apparently has Farrell Till Disease, which means that he has to layer everthing over with a thick coat of blather to hide a couple of teensey little claims he wants to make that he knows he can't justify by arguments.


So the bottom line...

Already you sound like you're smitten with emerods in your secret parts and we're just getting started. Get a grip.

Stoogey, the only way I'd have an "emerod" in such a place.........is if you stuck your head in my rear end. But that won't happen; your head is stuck too fast in your own rear end as is.

[Bill the Cat]

So is this guy saying Jesus raised physically, but we won't? If so, what was the point of the resurrection?

[jpholding]

So is this guy saying Jesus raised physically, but we won't? If so, what was the point of the resurrection?

Hyperprets usually redefine the concept of "resurrection" so that Christians were all resurrected in 70 AD. Or something.

What Stoogey will say we can only guess.

[FineLarry]

And J.P. sez: "Erm, Mr. Moron? Higger's comments sound just like my own article on the Kingdom of God. The last bit is all I disagree with:"

It's the last bit that's your problem, consequently, you've duped the likes of T-Shirt Ninja, OfficialPro and Bill the Cat into believing all things haven't been made new (Rev. 21:5). You ought to be ashamed.

No wonder all the righteous blood shed since Abel was required of the Apostles' generation, J. P., guys like you had gone the way of Cain, Balaam and Korah. Now pay attention because you can be rehabilitated. God is going to get this in perspective for you one baby step at a time:

1. "Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I set before you the way of life, and the way of death." Jeremiah 21:8 AV

2. "As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?" Ezekiel 33:11 AV

3. "Woe unto you that desire the day of the Lord! to what end is it for you? the day of the Lord is darkness, and not light." Amos 5:18 AV

4. "When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, "If you had known in this day, even you, the things which make for peace! But now they have been hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you when your enemies will )throw up a barricade against you, and surround you and hem you in on every side, and they will level you to the ground and your children within you, and they will not leave in you one stone upon another, because you did not recognize the time of your visitation (Luke 19:41-44 NASB)."

But no, according to J. P., it's God's PLAN to "consummate history." Can't you differentiate between history and Covenant? Seriously, how do you live with yourself? You make Jesus cry.

Later this week, I'm going to start whuppin' you so hard it will make your readers sick to their stomachs. That's why I didn't want your mommy to watch. I like mommies. In fact, I'm about to walk out the door to go see mine.

In the meantime, remember, a heifer gave birth to a lamb.

[A Deeper Look]

that's all folks!.. this is as good as its going to get

[Bill the Cat]

...It's the last bit that's your problem, consequently, you've duped the likes of ... Bill the Cat into believing all things haven't been made new (Rev. 21:5). You ought to be ashamed.

I'm a futurist...

[T-Shirt Ninja]

And I already believed in the coming resurrection LONG before I ran across Tektonics or heard of JP Holding.

[jpholding]

Stoogey has apparently advanced now from snorting freon to smoking banana peels.

I didn't see an argument in any of that, though I did see a lot of red-faced Scripture shouting of the sort Farrell Till used to do in France.

Is Larry the Edgar Whisenant of heretical preterism?

1. "Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I set before you the way of life, and the way of death." Jeremiah 21:8 AV

1 "Thus saith the Larry, Behold, I can scream as loud as a banshee, and if I screameth loud enough, maybe no one will notice I'm not arguing anything." Jerkimiah 21:8 TV

2. "As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways: for why will ye die, O house of Israel?" Ezekiel 33:11 AV

2. "As I live, saith the Larry, I have no pleasure in the making of sense, but that screaming and yelling and fart jokes commend me: turn ye, turn ye from my passing of gas: for why will ye die, O house of TheologyWeb?" Ecreepiel 33:11 TV

3. "Woe unto you that desire the day of the Lord! to what end is it for you? the day of the Lord is darkness, and not light." Amos 5:18 AV

3. "Woe unto you that desire the day of the Larry! to what end is it for you? the day of being dumb, and not smart." Amush 5:10 TV

4. "When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, "If you had known in this day, even you, the things which make for peace! But now they have been hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you when your enemies will )throw up a barricade against you, and surround you and hem you in on every side, and they will level you to the ground and your children within you, and they will not leave in you one stone upon another, because you did not recognize the time of your visitation (Luke 19:41-44 NASB)."

4. "When Larry approached Jerusalem, He saw the Board of Health approach; and they sprayed him amidst with fungicide, and threw him out." (Look 19:41, NAMB)

But no, according to J. P., it's God's PLAN to "consummate history." Can't you differentiate between history and Covenant?

Why? Did you break your dictionary while sitting on it at dinner?

Looks like Stoogey here is having one of them lingustic schizoid attacks where he obsesses on what he thinks you're talking about because he has no idea what you're really talking about.

Later this week, I'm going to start whuppin' you so hard it will make your readers sick to their stomachs.

Uh, yeah. It was pre-empted from this week because of rain, was it?

I like mommies. In fact, I'm about to walk out the door to go see mine.

On your way to the goat farm, huh?

In the meantime, remember, a heifer gave birth to a lamb.

Yeah, well...remember your mommy gave birth to a jackass.

[lilpixieofterror]

And J.P. sez: "Erm, Mr. Moron? Higger's comments sound just like my own article on the Kingdom of God. The last bit is all I disagree with:"'

Well, you are an idiot.

It's the last bit that's your problem, consequently, you've duped the likes of T-Shirt Ninja, OfficialPro and Bill the Cat into believing all things haven't been made new (Rev. 21:5). You ought to be ashamed.

That's pretty entertaining since many of us come from all kinds of different backgrounds with various theological views. Can you try making a real argument at some point instead of your ranting like you did for the rest of this post? The rest of it I find as a waste of time reading or responding to as such, I'm going to cut it out.

[jpholding]

Larry hasn't been here in several hours now.

By his own logic, this proves that he's conceded defeat. Thank you, Larry.

[Bill the Cat]

[lilpixieofterror]

Larry hasn't been here in several hours now.

By his own logic, this proves that he's conceded defeat. Thank you, Larry.

Yep how dare he has a life outside of the web!

[OfficialPro]

It's the last bit that's your problem, consequently, you've duped the likes of T-Shirt Ninja, OfficialPro and Bill the Cat into believing all things haven't been made new (Rev. 21:5). You ought to be ashamed.

What in the swirling void...? All things HAVEN'T been "made new"--otherwise the "new Earth" is still corrupted by the effects of sin! Which.....doesn't make any sense.

Earth to Moe (not the Bartender on the Simpsons): You'll know when all things will be "made new." It will be obvious because there will be no more pain, murder, theft, etc and everybody will be holding hands and singing Kumbaya or something.

Don't forget, Revelation is a vision of the FUTURE.

[jpholding]

More than 24 hours have passed since Larry was here. This means he is so ashamed of his great loss here that he has committed Larry Kari.