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Thread: Thin Skin

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    Professor Zymologist's Avatar
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    Thin Skin

    What to do if you have thin skin? (Yes, this is about me.)

    I have thin skin. What people say gets to me, too quickly and too often. Sometimes, it doesn't have to be said to me at all. It could be, for example, a comment about a group that I might consider myself a part of, and the speaker wouldn't have me in mind in the least.

    How does one get thicker skin? Put differently, how does one care less what other people think? I know this is a problem with me, and I hate it (believe me, I hate it). What to do about it, beyond faking it?
    Hofstadter's Law: It will always take longer than you expect, even if you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

    "Metal is an apple--everything's good but the core."

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    Theologyweb's Official Grandfather Jedidiah's Avatar
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    I have no idea. I have always had fairly thick skin. Unless someone gets in my face and points stuff directly at me I shrug it off. Wish I could help.

    My way of looking at it is if someone disagrees with me that is okay. If they make disparaging remarks that reveals their own stupidity. It is on them, not on me.
    Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

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    tWebber Teallaura's Avatar
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    Learn to evaluate it.

    Is it true? If so, learn from it, atone as necessary and move on. If not, move on.
    Is it important? If so, deal with it. If not, ignore it.
    What is the intent behind it? If malicious, move on. If not, then consider it.
    Would the person help you if you needed it? If so, pay attention. If not, move on.
    Would Jesus worry about this? If not - and the answer is always no - then neither should you.

    When you start brooding over it, stop - find something else to entertain your thoughts.

    You won't ever gain a thick skin - and you don't want one. That process is bloody and painful. You will gain perspective and self control - which is all you really need.

    God loves you and the harsh words of others can't take that away from you.

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    tWebber Sea of red's Avatar
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    We are all human and have emotions/reactions to things, so don't sweat it too much. I've been called thin skinned by many people (including some on this forum) that fancy themselves as being thick skinned. But usually those people are pretty insincere in their reactions and motivations, and they don't want you to know when they are blowing up inside. It's all they have to feel like they won an argument. When people laugh at your passion or type an out of place "LOL" on a forum, just know they're not really laughing.

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    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sea of red View Post
    We are all human and have emotions/reactions to things, so don't sweat it too much. I've been called thin skinned by many people (including some on this forum) that fancy themselves as being thick skinned. But usually those people are pretty insincere in their reactions and motivations, and they don't want you to know when they are blowing up inside. It's all they have to feel like they won an argument. When people laugh at your passion or type an out of place "LOL" on a forum, just know they're not really laughing.
    Methinks thou dost protest too much.
    Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. St. John Chrysostom

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  6. Amen Cow Poke, ke7ejx amen'd this post.
  7. #6
    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zymologist View Post
    What to do if you have thin skin? (Yes, this is about me.)

    I have thin skin. What people say gets to me, too quickly and too often. Sometimes, it doesn't have to be said to me at all. It could be, for example, a comment about a group that I might consider myself a part of, and the speaker wouldn't have me in mind in the least.

    How does one get thicker skin? Put differently, how does one care less what other people think? I know this is a problem with me, and I hate it (believe me, I hate it). What to do about it, beyond faking it?
    IMO the secret is to humbly focus less on oneself. Try not to dwell on how other people think of you and how you can change that. When discussing topics here, focus more on gaining understanding and less on "winning." If a conversation is not helping you gain understanding, and shedding rather more heat than light, bow out.
    Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. St. John Chrysostom

    Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio

    I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

  8. Amen Rushing Jaws amen'd this post.
  9. #7
    tWebber Sea of red's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    Methinks thou dost protest too much.
    Methinks you're probably an unpleasant person in real life.

  10. #8
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sea of red View Post
    Methinks you're probably an unpleasant person in real life.
    nope. he is a really nice guy with a great sense of humor, who enjoys a good beer. As are you most likely.

    That is one of the blessings and problems with the internet: It is impersonal. Nobody really knows what another person is like, other than what they type. It is like wearing a mask. You don't see what they look like, if they are smiling behind the keyboard, or punching the wall while they are typing.

    And to Zym I say: Nobody knows who you are so don't worry about it. If they call you a name, only you know who you really are. They don't. So don't listen to them.

  11. #9
    Professor Zymologist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparko View Post
    nope. he is a really nice guy with a great sense of humor, who enjoys a good beer. As are you most likely.

    That is one of the blessings and problems with the internet: It is impersonal. Nobody really knows what another person is like, other than what they type. It is like wearing a mask. You don't see what they look like, if they are smiling behind the keyboard, or punching the wall while they are typing.

    And to Zym I say: Nobody knows who you are so don't worry about it. If they call you a name, only you know who you really are. They don't. So don't listen to them.
    Well, there aren't that many people in Montana with the name Zymologist.
    Hofstadter's Law: It will always take longer than you expect, even if you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

    "Metal is an apple--everything's good but the core."

  12. Amen Jedidiah, Carrikature, Teallaura amen'd this post.
  13. #10
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zymologist View Post
    Well, there aren't that many people in Montana with the name Zymologist.
    True. In fact I think there are only about 10 people there altogether. I am amazed you even have internet. Or electricity.

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