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Thread: 7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Hear In Church

  1. #1
    tWebber Ana Dragule's Avatar
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    7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Hear In Church

    http://frankpowell.me/truths-sex-mar...earned-church/

    I thought this was a great article about marriage. Seems very true on a lot of points.
    I am become death...

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    tWebber MaxVel's Avatar
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    Yep
    ...>>> Witty remark or snarky quote of another poster goes here <<<...

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    Thanks Old Man... Bill the Cat's Avatar
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    interesting. Overly simplistic, and wrong at certain times in a marriage, but interesting.


    Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals --- Manya the Holy Szin --- The Quintara Marathon ---

    I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common --- Stephen R. Donaldson ---

  4. Amen Jedidiah amen'd this post.
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    tWebber
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    I've also heard a lot of these in church

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    tWebber Ana Dragule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Cat View Post
    interesting. Overly simplistic, and wrong at certain times in a marriage, but interesting.
    You feel it errs much?
    I am become death...

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    Thanks Old Man... Bill the Cat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Dragule View Post
    You feel it errs much?
    I feel it oversimplifies the hard work necessary in a marriage. The 50/50 is a myth. Many days it's 90/10 and then 10/90. No one can give their all every day.

    - Intimacy and sex are in no way synonymous. There have been long stretches of time in my marriage where physical problems make sex impossible, but intimacy still flourishes.

    - Once you are married, there should NOT be "more than one person out there for you".

    - The first year of marriage is nothing compared to the 20th. When menopause hits, kids start moving out, parents start dying, things are far more difficult to handle than whether he leaves his toothbrush on the sink.

    - The wedding day IS NOT a lie. It is an incredibly special time where a covenant was made, and should be frequently remembered - hence our anniversaries.


    It sounds to me like this author is describing pre- and recently-married problems, not long term marriages that have moved past the initial "feeling" phase.


    Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals --- Manya the Holy Szin --- The Quintara Marathon ---

    I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common --- Stephen R. Donaldson ---

  8. Amen Jedidiah, RumTumTugger amen'd this post.
  9. #7
    Professor Cerebrum123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Cat View Post
    I feel it oversimplifies the hard work necessary in a marriage. The 50/50 is a myth. Many days it's 90/10 and then 10/90. No one can give their all every day.
    [Devil's Advocate] If both people are generally healthy it should still average out to 50/50.

    - Intimacy and sex are in no way synonymous. There have been long stretches of time in my marriage where physical problems make sex impossible, but intimacy still flourishes.
    I don't see the article equating sex to intimacy. Sex is one way, and often a very important way of being intimate.

    - Once you are married, there should NOT be "more than one person out there for you".
    I think it's implied that this is before marriage, not after.

    - The first year of marriage is nothing compared to the 20th. When menopause hits, kids start moving out, parents start dying, things are far more difficult to handle than whether he leaves his toothbrush on the sink.
    Nothing to argue with there.

    - The wedding day IS NOT a lie. It is an incredibly special time where a covenant was made, and should be frequently remembered - hence our anniversaries.
    The wedding day isn't, the idea many have about the wedding day is though. The "it's all about me/us" aspect. A married couple can't expect everyone to center their lives around them for the rest of their lives. [/Devil's Advocate]

    It sounds to me like this author is describing pre- and recently-married problems, not long term marriages that have moved past the initial "feeling" phase.[/QUOTE]

    I think so to. I also think it's the intended audience for the article.

  10. #8
    Thanks Old Man... Bill the Cat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cerebrum123 View Post
    [Devil's Advocate] If both people are generally healthy it should still average out to 50/50.
    But it's VERY rare that it works out that way on any given day.


    I don't see the article equating sex to intimacy. Sex is one way, and often a very important way of being intimate.
    I saw the opposite. To my reading, it implied that sex had to be "explored" for true intimacy to occur. My wife is a rape victim and a molestation survivor. There simply are things she can not bring herself to "explore", but we do not let those things hinder our intimacy.


    I think it's implied that this is before marriage, not after.
    Then it's odd that it would appear in an article about marriage...


    The wedding day isn't, the idea many have about the wedding day is though. The "it's all about me/us" aspect. A married couple can't expect everyone to center their lives around them for the rest of their lives. [/Devil's Advocate]
    I've never seen or heard anyone dispute that the wedding day is "all about the bride". But that does not make it a lie.


    I think so to. I also think it's the intended audience for the article.
    Then, again, it's odd to title the article the way it was labeled.


    Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals --- Manya the Holy Szin --- The Quintara Marathon ---

    I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common --- Stephen R. Donaldson ---

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    Professor Cerebrum123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Cat View Post
    But it's VERY rare that it works out that way on any given day.
    That doesn't negate the general principle.

    I saw the opposite. To my reading, it implied that sex had to be "explored" for true intimacy to occur. My wife is a rape victim and a molestation survivor. There simply are things she can not bring herself to "explore", but we do not let those things hinder our intimacy.
    I've read through that part several times, and I still don't see that implication. I think maybe we are just looking at this through very different "lenses".

    Then it's odd that it would appear in an article about marriage...
    Those little "headlines" seem to be a lot like clickbait. The idea isn't that you can just marry multiple people, but since someone isn't born to be your "soulmate" that there are many people who can fulfill that criteria. The article seems to be just as much for those who want to get married as those who are married. Especially since one of the big "truths" is that marriage isn't for everyone.

    I've never seen or heard anyone dispute that the wedding day is "all about the bride". But that does not make it a lie.
    He's talking about taking the "all about me", and applying it to the marriage as a whole. No bride should think her husband exists to serve her after the wedding day. The husband shouldn't think that either. He's warning people about becoming selfish, especially in a very self centered society we live in. At least, that's how I'm reading it.

    Then, again, it's odd to title the article the way it was labeled.
    Clickbait.

    I do think the article is a bit too generalized, but it's not exactly a thesis for college or anything.

  12. Amen Carrikature amen'd this post.
  13. #10
    tWebber Carrikature's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cerebrum123 View Post
    Those little "headlines" seem to be a lot like clickbait. The idea isn't that you can just marry multiple people, but since someone isn't born to be your "soulmate" that there are many people who can fulfill that criteria. The article seems to be just as much for those who want to get married as those who are married. Especially since one of the big "truths" is that marriage isn't for everyone.
    Even after marriage, a spouse could die. People can and do happily remarry after those events. Tim Minchin has a pretty funny song about this concept (If I didn't have you).
    I'm not here anymore.

  14. Amen Cerebrum123 amen'd this post.

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