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Thread: 7 Truths About Marriage You Will Not Hear In Church

  1. #11
    God, family, chicken! Bill the Cat's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
    Central VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carrikature View Post
    Even after marriage, a spouse could die. People can and do happily remarry after those events. Tim Minchin has a pretty funny song about this concept (If I didn't have you).
    But that's not a rule for marriage. It's a rule for moving on AFTER marriage.

    Without a clear-cut definition of sin, morality becomes a mere argument over the best way to train animals --- Manya the Holy Szin --- The Quintara Marathon ---

    I may not be as old as dirt, but me and dirt are starting to have an awful lot in common --- Stephen R. Donaldson ---

  2. #12
    tWebber Ana Dragule's Avatar
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    May 2014
    Peklo, somewhere in the West...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bill the Cat View Post
    But that's not a rule for marriage. It's a rule for moving on AFTER marriage.
    It may make a better piece of advice for preparing for marriage. I read the section of the article I linked to be more about being realistic about chances of finding someone who is a good match as a spouse.

    Two things come to mind:

    1. A sermon I heard about how soul mates aren't just born, they are made, because of the interaction that two have with each other that helps them understand and fit with each other.
    I don't think that that alone should work for any two people, but it makes a point that you don't magically have a princess/prince charming and if you miss your chance with that one, you are destined to be alone for all your life, but communicating needs and wants and lovingly supporting each other does help.

    2. Boundaries in Dating by John Preston
    This was a great book that I would recommend to most people who has been single and on the market for a bit. I took a class at a church with this book, and it really got me thinking about what did I would like in a spouse vs. what I need to make a relationship work and what is not acceptable.

    To me, finding my husband wasn't about finding that one guy that was a good proper Christian guy that I thought I was supposed to marry, but about not settling for less than a guy whose values, goals, and lifestyle were compatible with mine (which includes faith). Understanding what is important to me and what I could live with and be happy with, not just some idea of that was given to me that it was x or nothing, whatever that x was, was important. Because I got most of my ideas about dating and relationships from the church, my parents, christian books, Christian articles, a very Christian circle of friends, and outside of a few secular articles about sex and violence, in a mostly sheltered religious upbringing, I can say from my own experience that we do not say enough to some of the youth in some of these ideas.
    I am become death...

  3. Amen Bill the Cat amen'd this post.

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