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Thread: Dating, Adolescence, ect

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    tWebber
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    Dating, Adolescence, ect

    I know that in Jesus time and still today in many cultures Mair ages were arranged and often love really grew after they couple was we'd. Today however in America and such we have this courtship process. Sometimes I wonder what would Jesus have said to teenagers struggling with their adolescence and hormones. I know he has shown me how poisonous pornography was. Pornography is a Web. It tangles you up as you think " one more can't hurt" or " it's better than perking on a classmate, breaking someone's heart. " it takes away love and feeds on insecurity. It feeds on the fear that one will "die alone" where as love will build up and transform you luster and pornography makes one cold and calloused.

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    tWebber
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    In Jesus' time, both Hebrews and Romans could marry around puberty age.

    Arranged or not, many did.

    It was Catholic Church law into 20th C. 14th completed year for the male and 12th completed year for the female partner was what was asked.

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    tWebber
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    So what has changed since Jesus' time? In my opinion the biggest change is how long education takes. Today it really wouldn't be a good idea for a 14 year old boy or 12 year old girl to get married. Society is also a lot more complex, and what we expect from marriage is more serious. Kids of that age wouldn't be able to do what we expect married partners to do today.

    This leaves kids with almost 10 years in a kind of limbo that didn't exist then. It's not clear that one can or even should avoid relationships with at least the potential for becoming romantic during that period. But that requires development of a set of ethics for which the NT certainly provides guidance, but aren't going to come from the NT directly. I share the OP's opposition to pornography. I'd rather promote healthy relationships with actual people of the appropriate gender.

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    tWebber Jin-roh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hedrick View Post
    So what has changed since Jesus' time?
    Everything.

    Theirs was a collectivist culture, ours is an individualistic one.
    Theirs was a time when marriage in sex transferred wealth, in our time we don't really do that anymore.
    Theirs was a life expectancy of about 45. Ours is pushing double that.
    Theirs was a time that actually required *less* work to sustain your life, ours? Yeah not so much.

    This leaves kids with almost 10 years in a kind of limbo that didn't exist then. It's not clear that one can or even should avoid relationships with at least the potential for becoming romantic during that period.
    It doesn't help to avoid romance as an adolescent, for sure.

    But that requires development of a set of ethics for which the NT certainly provides guidance, but aren't going to come from the NT directly. I share the OP's opposition to pornography. I'd rather promote healthy relationships with actual people of the appropriate gender.
    Most of the Evangelical guidelines about romance and sex don't come from the NT even indirectly in my opinion. There's a lot of hang over from the 19th century or even mid 20th century idealism that Evangelicalism calls back to. As far as I'm concerned nearly everything in the Bible that might inform a 'set of ethics' assumes certain cultural and economic circumstances that have no analogs in our time and culture.

    The 'set of ethics' in good Christian dating has even changed in the last 100 years. For instance, it was considered gauche and a low class to take a young woman out to dinner.

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