"Bad weather friends"

[Chrs]

Not really sure where this should go, feel free to move it.

"Bad Weather Friends"
Now, I'm not sure what it's like wherever you live, but when you're in school here, you're taught about "Fair Weather Friends" - people who are just friends with you for something, perhaps material wealth or because you're "cool"... and you're taught all about the importance of making sure you only have "real" friends, and so on.

Now, I've just been having a conversation with Country Preacher about life in general, and the idea of "fair weather friends" was brought up (Specifically, anyone with a pool back in ye olde days of CP's childhood would have friends all summer long, but I digress), and it made me think back through my life so far.

and I looked back on the idea of these "fair weather friends" and thought, "Wait, What?" - because my experience is the exact opposite. Call me strange, and this may have only happened to me, but I feel I have more "bad weather friends" (and I've never had a "fair weather friend", but that's more down to the fact I have no money and I define uncool )

Seriously though, I have... four or five friends which I do not talk to unless something is wrong with one of us. I'll go and talk to one of them if I'm not okay, and if they're not okay, I usually have a phonecall or an IM message. I don't know why, but it works for me.

Anyone else have this sort of thing? I find it strange that some people [read: me] can connect with eachother much better when they're miserable, or have a problem than they can when they're in a good mood...

Well, thanks for reading
Chris

[rogue06]

Not really sure where this should go, feel free to move it.

"Bad Weather Friends"
Now, I'm not sure what it's like wherever you live, but when you're in school here, you're taught about "Fair Weather Friends" - people who are just friends with you for something, perhaps material wealth or because you're "cool"... and you're taught all about the importance of making sure you only have "real" friends, and so on.

Now, I've just been having a conversation with Country Preacher about life in general, and the idea of "fair weather friends" was brought up (Specifically, anyone with a pool back in ye olde days of CP's childhood would have friends all summer long, but I digress), and it made me think back through my life so far.

and I looked back on the idea of these "fair weather friends" and thought, "Wait, What?" - because my experience is the exact opposite. Call me strange, and this may have only happened to me, but I feel I have more "bad weather friends" (and I've never had a "fair weather friend", but that's more down to the fact I have no money and I define uncool )

Seriously though, I have... four or five friends which I do not talk to unless something is wrong with one of us. I'll go and talk to one of them if I'm not okay, and if they're not okay, I usually have a phonecall or an IM message. I don't know why, but it works for me.

Anyone else have this sort of thing? I find it strange that some people [read: me] can connect with eachother much better when they're miserable, or have a problem than they can when they're in a good mood...

Well, thanks for reading
Chris

Thought that was more a guy thing.

Seriously though, I have two friends that I never see and rarely speak to unless one of us needs help.

[Meta Knight]

I have much the same thing going on. I really don't know how it happens, it just seems to happen to me a lot.

[Chrs]

Thought that was more a guy thing.

Seriously though, I have two friends that I never see and rarely speak to unless one of us needs help.

Eh.. My "bad weather friends", just like 90% of my friends, are female.

[shadowmaster]

Eh.. My "bad weather friends", just like 90% of my friends, are female.

because you are young and possibly good looking.

[Chrs]

because you are young and possibly good looking.

Not good looking, but rather because I find females easier to interact with and generally more emotionally intelligent...*

Edit: *Did I mention not obnoxious? I meant to.

[Thersites]

I've heard of "foul-weather friends"- but what I heard was that some people feel the need to have other people grateful to them .

I wouldn't say that your friends sound like that- it seems like you're part of a support network- but the way I understand it, "foul-weather friends" are no better friends than any "fair-weather friend."

[Cow Poke]

Not really sure where this should go, feel free to move it.

"Bad Weather Friends"
Now, I'm not sure what it's like wherever you live, but when you're in school here, you're taught about "Fair Weather Friends" - people who are just friends with you for something, perhaps material wealth or because you're "cool"... and you're taught all about the importance of making sure you only have "real" friends, and so on.

Now, I've just been having a conversation with Country Preacher about life in general, and the idea of "fair weather friends" was brought up (Specifically, anyone with a pool back in ye olde days of CP's childhood would have friends all summer long, but I digress), and it made me think back through my life so far.

and I looked back on the idea of these "fair weather friends" and thought, "Wait, What?" - because my experience is the exact opposite. Call me strange, and this may have only happened to me, but I feel I have more "bad weather friends" (and I've never had a "fair weather friend", but that's more down to the fact I have no money and I define uncool )

Seriously though, I have... four or five friends which I do not talk to unless something is wrong with one of us. I'll go and talk to one of them if I'm not okay, and if they're not okay, I usually have a phonecall or an IM message. I don't know why, but it works for me.

Anyone else have this sort of thing? I find it strange that some people [read: me] can connect with eachother much better when they're miserable, or have a problem than they can when they're in a good mood...

Well, thanks for reading
Chris

Well, you weren't kidding!!!!

Great post!

And, actually, this was on my mind quite a few years ago when I was a young preacher. My mentor (and "father" in the faith) was (and is) _______________. (I'll call him "mentor" for sake of reference here).

In my young days as a minister, I probably made every mistake there is, and from time to time, found myself in a predicament. I would call "mentor" (or stop by his house when I lived nearby) and whine about what a terrible mess I had gotten myself into, and ask his advice. We would work through my problem, until "next time", when I would call again. (Al Gore hadn't yet invented the Internetz) After 10 or 15 years, it REALLY occurred to me - the ONLY time I call him is when i'm going through "bad weather". (thanks Chris)

I decided to make a change, so every once in a while, I would call just to say, "Hey, I'm just calling to tell you I'm not in trouble, and everything is going great".

In August, I found out "mentor" would be preaching his last sermon as interim Pastor in a church about 3 hours from my home, so wife 1.0 and I went up there to spend the day with them, attending church, then sitting around their house talking about "the good ol' days". It was really a great time.

MEANWHILE, as I began to mentor young men in the ministry, I always shared that story... "call me when you're in trouble, and call me when you're NOT". I'm very pleased to say that I will occasionally get a phone call or email from some of the young guys (and gals) that I mentored. It's great to be able to encourage them when they are "in trouble", but it's such a blessing to hear "I just wanted you to know I'm doing good, and I want to say thanks....."

"bad weather friends"... Interesting concept!

[KingsGambit]

Anyone else have this sort of thing? I find it strange that some people [read: me] can connect with eachother much better when they're miserable, or have a problem than they can when they're in a good mood...

Yes, and like you, almost all of these friends have been female. I have no idea why, but I find it a lot easier to "let my guard down". However, over the years, I have found that these "bad weather friendships" can be intense but tenuous. Misery loves company, and if both of you are going through a difficult time, and suddenly one of you takes a strong turn for the better, that will likely strike the end of the friendship without any common ground existing. I actually had an ex-girlfriend, and what we had devolved into a mutual "stormy weather friendship", to the point where if she ever called me I would answer by saying "What's wrong?" Several months ago, my life began to take a sudden turn for the better, and she distanced herself from me, bluntly telling me she was resentful of me because I had become happy.

[princesa]

your lucky you have 4 or 5 to count on...some of us have to suck it up because there is no one to tell. :-)

I often wondered what it must be like to feel blue and pick up the phone and call someone about it. Weird isn't it. I've accepted and am fine with it though. Venting online or expressing negative emotions on the web is somewhat therapeautic in and of itself, even when I don't get a response back.

[Manwë Súlimo]

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens," said Gimli.
"Maybe," said Elrond, “but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the nightfall."
"Yet sworn word may strengthen quaking heart," said Gimli.
"Or break it," said Elrond.

"The Fellowship of the Ring" by JRR Tolkien.