Tweet
I'm a fan of a podcast called Love + Radio. The podcast started off pretty experimental. You'd get weird stories that were a mix of truth and fiction, and lots of experimental stuff, and whatnot, but over time they've focused on intimate interviews with some of the most peculiar and interesting people. One of the people they introduced to listeners maybe a year or two back was Daryl Davis. Some of you may have heard of him already, but this guy is my hero. He is a black Rhythm and Blues musician who has worked with some of the biggest names in the biz, including Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley and a number of others, and on the side, he's worked for years communicating with, and helping to convert high level racists, Grand Dragons in the Ku Klux Klan, Neo-Nazis, and even black racists, to non-racism. He's even had high ranking Klan members send them their hood and robes, which he now displays in his home as trophies. An amazing man and an amazing Christian who is able to be so successful with people because of his particular method of winning people over.
Recently Love + Radio did a follow up with Davis, and I thought it might be relevant to this sub as maybe a way we can look at the way we discuss things with others and win them over. Below I'll list some Do's and Don'ts from the second interview that Davis uses when attempting to engage with people with drastically different views. Both of the Love + Radio podcasts that feature Davis can be found here. In the second interview, Davis goes into his views on how Trump's presidency has in some ways exposed racial tension that has existed in America under the surface, and I respect that people may not completely agree with him here (I think I do, but with conditions), I still think that much of what he has to say on how to have a discussion with someone you disagree with is well worth listening to.
Do's
1.) Gather your information of the other side before engaging. Be as familiar with their side as you are your own. That way you'll know what to expect and how to react, even if it's something you don't want to hear.
2.) Invite people to have a conversation, not a debate. People will open up because everyone wants to be heard without feeling they need to be on the defensive.
3.) Look for commonalities, and then build on them. Once people find the things they have in common, the things we have in contrast begin to fade away. The relationship begins to blossom into a friendship.
4.) When two enemies are talking they're not fighting. When the talking ceases the ground becomes fertile for violence. The more you talk the more commonalities you'll find.
5.) Patience is a virtue. Patience doesn't mean sitting around and talking with your friends, but being proactive. While you are actively learning about someone else, you are passively teaching them about yourself. You only have one chance to make a good impression.
Don'ts
1.) You can be argumentative, but don't be condescending. Don't be insulting. You are going to hear things you don't like, and even things you know are wrong. Not just opinions, but actual facts that they've gotten wrong. You can correct them, but don't do it in a condescending manner because you know they're wrong.
2.) Don't explain someone else's position for them (even if you know it). Let them explain it, and then address the points that they bring up.
So that's all there is to it really. I imagine whether anyone uses these methods will depend on a number of factors. I don't think all of these points are necessary all the time. But I think they lay down some very good guidelines for everyone, no matter your worldview. I know that for me they were a good refresher. I can't promise that I'll always stick to them, but they'll definitely be in the back of my head.
Recently Love + Radio did a follow up with Davis, and I thought it might be relevant to this sub as maybe a way we can look at the way we discuss things with others and win them over. Below I'll list some Do's and Don'ts from the second interview that Davis uses when attempting to engage with people with drastically different views. Both of the Love + Radio podcasts that feature Davis can be found here. In the second interview, Davis goes into his views on how Trump's presidency has in some ways exposed racial tension that has existed in America under the surface, and I respect that people may not completely agree with him here (I think I do, but with conditions), I still think that much of what he has to say on how to have a discussion with someone you disagree with is well worth listening to.
Do's
1.) Gather your information of the other side before engaging. Be as familiar with their side as you are your own. That way you'll know what to expect and how to react, even if it's something you don't want to hear.
2.) Invite people to have a conversation, not a debate. People will open up because everyone wants to be heard without feeling they need to be on the defensive.
3.) Look for commonalities, and then build on them. Once people find the things they have in common, the things we have in contrast begin to fade away. The relationship begins to blossom into a friendship.
4.) When two enemies are talking they're not fighting. When the talking ceases the ground becomes fertile for violence. The more you talk the more commonalities you'll find.
5.) Patience is a virtue. Patience doesn't mean sitting around and talking with your friends, but being proactive. While you are actively learning about someone else, you are passively teaching them about yourself. You only have one chance to make a good impression.
Don'ts
1.) You can be argumentative, but don't be condescending. Don't be insulting. You are going to hear things you don't like, and even things you know are wrong. Not just opinions, but actual facts that they've gotten wrong. You can correct them, but don't do it in a condescending manner because you know they're wrong.
2.) Don't explain someone else's position for them (even if you know it). Let them explain it, and then address the points that they bring up.
So that's all there is to it really. I imagine whether anyone uses these methods will depend on a number of factors. I don't think all of these points are necessary all the time. But I think they lay down some very good guidelines for everyone, no matter your worldview. I know that for me they were a good refresher. I can't promise that I'll always stick to them, but they'll definitely be in the back of my head.
Comment