Why the Biblical plan does not work for me.

[bling]

There are some huge problems I have with trying to implement Christ’s method of evangelizing the world.
1. The biggest problem is it takes very little money. Without big budgets I cannot command a big salary.
2. It is not hierarchical, in fact it is very flat with each group leader reporting directly to the one leader. I like power over people, so I need a huge group of followers.
3. All the praise goes to God, if I get this started the way He wants, only a few people might know of me and they probable would not realize, I was the one who got it all started.
4. It starts off way to slow and seems to take forever. Yes in 36 years there will not be a person left on earth to evangelize (all 6 billion plus), but for the first 5 years you have less than a 50 disciples and most of them might leave me for the far reaches of the world.
5. I like to feel essential. While in this system, I personally am not needed to successfully evangelize the world, I can do everything perfectly, so it will definitely be completed, but after making just one disciple, I am ripe for martyrdom at any time, since after the first disciple is made I am not essential.
6. I am a businessman who likes: 5 year plans, organization, schedules, people coming second to the objective, not being interrupted, being reactive, self sufficient, and not waiting on others. Christ’s system of disciplining takes a few months for some and 20 years for another it is all individualistic, some that are fully trained get started right, but may come back and this is all to be taken in stride as long as you can average about one per year.
7. It places way too much emphasis on the few around you and not enough emphasis on the cheering masses. The masses can be a fecal group, but they can provide some great highs.
8. I like my personal time, where I just worry about me. I can dream of being the master and not a servant master.
9. I would prefer to write a “how to” book about “the plan”, so I could get lots of money and speaking engagements. The problem is the book has already been written and someone would ask: “Why didn’t I just implement the plan instead of wasting my time writing about it?”
Does Christ’s method fit your objectives?

[Obsidian]

I could probably nitpick a couple of theological problems with your post, but overall pretty good.

[technomage]

Satire usually stinks. This does not.

[RBerman]

What's a "fecal group"?

[technomage]

Precisely what it sounds like.

The satire illustrates the differences between what the social dynamic of Christianity is supposed to be about, and what all too many "high-powered evangelists" have made their particular corner of the market.

[bling]

Precisely what it sounds like.

The satire illustrates the differences between what the social dynamic of Christianity is supposed to be about, and what all too many "high-powered evangelists" have made their particular corner of the market.

It is nice we agree on some things.

[headheart]

Ever read 'Risky Living' by Jamie Buckingham?

Sincerely,
Eric J. Sawyer