The single life

[CodewordConduit]

WHAT DO I DO CAPTAIN?!

Ascertain likelihood of appreciation being mutual!

[Rational Gaze]

Ascertain likelihood of appreciation being mutual!

I think it is requited, but I have no way of knowing for certain. Perhaps I should have mentioned my explicit and implicit social retardation. I'M DOOMED.

[CodewordConduit]

If he didn't want something, he shouldn't be complaining. Perhaps he should take lessons on a line from this song (it's a country song by Brad Pasley called "That's Love"):

"If she burns the steak, you better eat it with a smile, even if it taste like a good year tire over gravy"

If he wanted it, don't whine when he gets it.

Oh I've made some right craptastic dinners in my time, I wouldn't expect anyone to eat them... they tend to get flung outside, pan and all, while I rant and rave about people distracting me at the important tricky part, then I start thinking it's funny and just pay for pizza or whatever.

However, I do get that the gist (I think) is to say "while I appreciate the time and effort that went into this, erm, culinary experiment; I can't eat it. You're great, you really are... this food... just isn't. Please don't feel bad, I've done much worse in my time... etc"

That's pretty funny, since I'm really not all that emotional or sentimental myself. Some guys can be just as bad as they accuse women as being (trust me, I know, I work with a few of them).

So true.

[CodewordConduit]

I think it is requited, but I have no way of knowing for certain. Perhaps I should have mentioned my explicit and implicit social retardation. I'M DOOMED.

What's the background, I need details here...

[Rational Gaze]

What's the background, I need details here...

I'll tell you later, and not here. Probably on FB or something.

[CodewordConduit]

I'll tell you later, and not here. Probably on FB or something.

Kay, no worries, there's a bug or something on my fb means I can't reply to messages or even send new ones, so tag in your email addy and I'll reply that way.

[lao tzu]

Hummm... maybe I should offer to do the dishes if he does the laundry.

Kinda depends on how okay ya'll are with pink socks ... on him.

[lilpixieofterror]

Oh I've made some right craptastic dinners in my time, I wouldn't expect anyone to eat them... they tend to get flung outside, pan and all, while I rant and rave about people distracting me at the important tricky part, then I start thinking it's funny and just pay for pizza or whatever.

I did that alot, when I was younger, but I learned not to do it as much now. I will say this though, if you are making rice, be sure to follow the directions and don't just guess...

However, I do get that the gist (I think) is to say "while I appreciate the time and effort that went into this, erm, culinary experiment; I can't eat it. You're great, you really are... this food... just isn't. Please don't feel bad, I've done much worse in my time... etc"

I just find the entire song really funny, he also has a few more funny ones out too.

So true.

Yep, I know a guy I work with that I swear has a monthly period and PMS's more than I ever do. Just goes to show that men can be as emotional as they accuse women as being.

[lilpixieofterror]

Kinda depends on how okay ya'll are with pink socks ... on him.

Are you one of those people that mixes everything together?

[themuzicman]

I couldn't quite think of where to put this, but I'd love to hear input from both the married and single's on this. It might be a fun exercise.

Anyway, as of this writing, my wedding is less than 4 weeks away! One of the things I have thought about a lot is how much different things would be after marriage. I mean, I no longer can think in the terms of, "What do I want to do?" Now I got to think in the terms of, "What do we want to do?" This may not seem like too big of a deal, until one looks at the differences between being single and married. When I was single, the only real obligation I had was to my work, my parents live several states away and sure, I do have friends and distant family here (cousins, to be exact). Nonetheless, I wasn't very obligated to them. If I wanted to go somewhere, I went. If I wanted to stay home and sleep in (work pending) I did. My obligations were few and really to nobody. Now the rules are about to change. I now have to remember that it's not just about me anymore, but us. I have to keep us both, in mind, on decisions and remember that it's not all my choice anymore. Of course, this isn't just me either, he has many adjustments to make too. He has to learn how to be a good and loving husband and likewise, I have to learn how to be a good and loving wife. I'm sure many of you agree with this, but how do fit in? Well, to the single's, would you guys be able to adjust to this type of change and would you welcome it? To the married, do you believe this type of adjustment is accurate and are there any ways to make it easier, if so and if not, what would make it more accurate? Thanks for listening to my ranting and have a nice day.

You're right in that being married changes your entire mindset. Hopefully courting has helped to begin that transition, as you think more and more about who your fiance is and what he is like.

And as you learn to be married, you'll find that there is a fundamental trust that evolves as you concern yourself more with his needs and desires, and he concerns himself with yours. It's a level of trust that you just can't find in any other relationship.

I've spent a good portion of the last 16 months living apart from my wife (due to life/job situation), and what I think I missed the most was knowing that when I came home, she was there thinking about me and what I might need and I had the opportunity to do the same. Now that we're back together, it's been wonderful.

So, look forward to that deep, intimate level of trust that marriage builds, and most of all, don't do anything to make your spouse question it.

Michael

[lao tzu]

Oh I've made some right craptastic dinners in my time, I wouldn't expect anyone to eat them...

I've made, and eaten, some craptastic dinners nobody would expect me to eat. Come to think of it, there's leftovers from one of them sitting in my fridge right now. I do feel a little bit bad about sharing them with others, but the looks on their faces as they try to be polite about it are oh so precious, and impossible to resist.

Yeah, us atheists, we're evil like that.

At least we've still got cookies.

[lao tzu]

Are you one of those people that mixes everything together?

Who, moi? Proud owner of an assorted collection of pink socks and t-shirts?

Well, since you ask ...

[lilpixieofterror]

You're right in that being married changes your entire mindset. Hopefully courting has helped to begin that transition, as you think more and more about who your fiance is and what he is like.

And as you learn to be married, you'll find that there is a fundamental trust that evolves as you concern yourself more with his needs and desires, and he concerns himself with yours. It's a level of trust that you just can't find in any other relationship.

I've spent a good portion of the last 16 months living apart from my wife (due to life/job situation), and what I think I missed the most was knowing that when I came home, she was there thinking about me and what I might need and I had the opportunity to do the same. Now that we're back together, it's been wonderful.

So, look forward to that deep, intimate level of trust that marriage builds, and most of all, don't do anything to make your spouse question it.

Michael

I've been away for a couple months myself, so I can relate there. I'm counting down the days I get to go home and to be honest, I wish I could not pay attention because it's going by so slow! Oh well, anyway, I do see trust as being the key to any good relationship. I've done my best to be as honest an open as possible, which, I think, has worked out great. It's a bit difficult just because I'm not as naturally open as he is, but it's working out better. Good luck though and enjoy your time back together.

[lilpixieofterror]

I've been away for a couple months myself, so I can relate there. I'm counting down the days I get to go home and to be honest, I wish I could not pay attention because it's going by so slow! Oh well, anyway, I do see trust as being the key to any good relationship. I've done my best to be as honest an open as possible, which, I think, has worked out great. It's a bit difficult just because I'm not as naturally open as he is, but it's working out better. Good luck though and enjoy your time back together.

Now I know why you have the 'strawberry' part, in your profile.

[lao tzu]

Now I know why you have the 'strawberry' part, in your profile.

*pssst, you quoted the wrong post, pixie*

Hey, why not be really radical?

Well, to the single's, would you guys be able to adjust to this type of change and would you welcome it?

Not just no, but hell no! I like being single. I like being able to do what I want, when I want; to disappear for days or weeks into some pet project without anyone nagging me about eating or sleeping; to be able to pull onto the highway or show up at an airport heading that-a-way, not knowing where I'm heading until I get there; having the extra money for toys — and not having to worry about someone's life being ruined when one of my toys proves as dangerous as advertised. If a wreck on my bike hands me that final ticket, there's nobody who's going to be left a widow or an orphan. And yeah, I like that a lot.

To the married, do you believe this type of adjustment is accurate and are there any ways to make it easier, if so and if not, what would make it more accurate? Thanks for listening to my ranting and have a nice day.

No discussion on how to make marriage adjustment easier is complete without mentioning the obvious: Never underestimate the healing abilities of hot make-up sex.

As ever, Jesse