Tell Your Dumb Jokes Here

[rogue06]

After their father died his three son's took over the family pig farm turning it into a thriving business*. They decided that it needed a name besides the name of the farm but just couldn't settle on anything. The only thing they agreed on was that the name ought to reflect the fact it was a family business. They were stumped.

Then one son said, "I've got it! We'll call it 'Focus'."

"Why Focus?"

"Because that where the sun's rays meet," he replied with a smile.







* Indeed they were making bacon bacondream.gif

[Astra49]

There was a doctor who made it his regular habit to stop off at a local bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. One afternoon the bartender was surprised to learn that he was out of hazelnut flavoring at about the same time the doctor came in for his drink.

Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri substituting hickory nuts for the hazelnuts and set it on the bar when the expected order came.

The doctor took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"


Yes same as CP........

"No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc.

Same as CP.....

[Astra49]

A statistics major was completely hung over the day of his final exam. It was a True/False test, so he decided to flip a coin for the answers. The stats professor watched the student the entire two hours as he was flipping the coin...writing the answer...flipping the coin...writing the answer.

At the end of the two hours, everyone else had left the final except for the one student. The professor walks up to his desk and interrupts the student, saying:

"Listen, I have seen that you did not study for this statistics test, you didn't even open the exam. If you are just flipping a coin for your answer, what is taking you so long?"

The student replies bitterly, as he is still flipping the coin: "Shhh! I am checking my answers!"

[Astra49]

There was a farmer in Queensland, who grew watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons.

After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.

So he made up a sign and placed it in the field.

The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says "Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."

So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made.

The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his.

He drives up to the sign which read: "Now there are two".

[Teluog]

What did the blond say when she opened her first box of Cheerios?

"Look! Donut seeds!"

[rogue06]

After their father died his three son's took over the family pig farm turning it into a thriving business*. They decided that it needed a name besides the name of the farm but just couldn't settle on anything. The only thing they agreed on was that the name ought to reflect the fact it was a family business. They were stumped.

Then one son said, "I've got it! We'll call it 'Focus'."

"Why Focus?"

"Because that where the sun's rays meet," he replied with a smile.

I don't like explaining a joke but two of my friends who stopped by earlier today informed me this was not an easy one to catch so this one time I'll explain.

Sun's rays meet = sons raise meat

[Teallaura]

After their father died his three son's took over the family pig farm turning it into a thriving business*. They decided that it needed a name besides the name of the farm but just couldn't settle on anything. The only thing they agreed on was that the name ought to reflect the fact it was a family business. They were stumped.

Then one son said, "I've got it! We'll call it 'Focus'."

"Why Focus?"

"Because that where the sun's rays meet," he replied with a smile.





...

Was Dad's name 'Ray', by any chance?

[rogue06]

Was Dad's name 'Ray', by any chance?

I REFUSE to do any more 'splainin'

[Cow Poke]

I REFUSE to do any more 'splainin'

Remember when you tried that one on Mom?

[rogue06]

Remember when you tried that one on Mom?

I told her I was pleading the fifth... and she took the fifth outta your hand and walloped me cross my noggin with it.

[Cow Poke]

I told her I was pleading the fifth... and she took the fifth outta your hand and walloped me cross my noggin with it.

Yeah, she was really surprised when I showed her what I found under your bed. But I didn't tell her EVERYTHING I found.

[fm93]

Was Dad's name 'Ray', by any chance?

suns rays meet=sons raise meat

[KingsGambit]

Each Friday night after work Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. Since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest .

The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass----and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, that is until Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, prepared to scold him, he stopped and listened in amazement..

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted, "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

[rogue06]

Each Friday night after work Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. Since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest .

The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass----and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, that is until Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, prepared to scold him, he stopped and listened in amazement..

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted, "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

I've got a real world comparison here. Apparently, according to Naples Daily News food columnist Doris Reynolds some French Catholics would lower a leg of lamb into the well and then "fish" it out.

[Astra49]

I don't like explaining a joke but two of my friends who stopped by earlier today informed me this was not an easy one to catch so this one time I'll explain.

Sun's rays meet = sons raise meat

Gee, I really like your friends, so much Rogue and I haven't met them....thank goodness for them....I honestly thought that you had missed out on your daily dose of bacon!!!!icon_smile_approve.gif