Tell Your Dumb Jokes Here

[Cow Poke]

Um, and it was CP's fault

Yup! I did it!


(what are we talking about)

[Astra49]

Um, and it was CP's fault

This going to be one of your most popular smilies isn't it brother?blame (1).gif

[rogue06]

Yup! I did it!


(what are we talking about)

When has that ever bothered you before?

[Cow Poke]

When has that ever bothered you before?

Twooooo!

[rogue06]

While returning to her parked car from lunch a blonde was surprised to see a police officer standing next to the car and writing a ticket.

"Why are you giving me a ticket?" she asked as she walked up.

"This your car?" the cop responded brusquely. "You can't park here -- didn't you notice the sign?"

"I sure did," the blonde retorted beginning to get angry at the perceived misjustice. "It clearly says 'Fine for Parking.'"

[rogue06]

Years ago CP and I talked mom into letting us "camp out" in the back yard one Summer evening. All was going fine until dusk when the mosquitoes came out in force. Before long we were inside our tent and hiding beneath our blankets in an attempt to keep from being bitten.

Even after it got dark we had no relief. Then CP saw some lightning bugs.

“We may as well give up,” CP moaned. “Now they are coming at us with flashlights.”

[rogue06]

During a bank robbery the police chief told the officers to cover all exits so the robbers couldn't get away. Unfortunately they still managed to slip out of the building and escape.

Furious the police chief dressed his men down saying, "Didn't I explicitly tell you to cover all the exits so they couldn't escape?"

"We did," piped up one of the cops who happened to have a Texas drawl. "But they got away through the Entrance"

[Cow Poke]

During a bank robbery the police chief told the officers to cover all exits so the robbers couldn't get away. Unfortunately they still managed to slip out of the building and escape.

Furious the police chief dressed his men down saying, "Didn't I explicitly tell you to cover all the exits so they couldn't escape?"

"We did," piped up one of the cops who happened to have a Texas drawl. "But they got away through the Entrance"

Stupid Yankee Police Chief! What we have here is a failure to communicate!

[rogue06]

A Panda walks into a restaurant and orders the special of the day. He eats the food, gets up, pulls out a pistol, shoots the waitress dead and then walked out the door.

The police arrested him before he got very far and he was taken to the station.

When his lawyer arrived the first thing he asked the panda was why did he do it.

The panda says,"Look up 'Panda" in the dictionary, and you will see why."

The lawyer pulls out his cellphone and Googles up an online dictionary. Sure enough it says...



























"Panda, n., mammal, eats shoots and leaves."

[rogue06]

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Sweden

Sweden who?











Sweden sour is my favorite Chinese meal!

[Astra49]

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the
water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

Suddenly you see a woman floundering in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer... somehow the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's JULIA GILLARD! (Australian Prime Minister) At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to pull her under.

You have two options-you can save the life of Julia Gillard or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer :

Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

[Astra49]

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.

On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

He had no trouble with discipline that term.

[rogue06]

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.

On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.

He had no trouble with discipline that term.

I think I had him for a shop teacher

[Raphael]

Ah but you can go as fast as you want to, or dare to, around the Nurburgring.




Which is still slower than Captain Slow. He had it up to 253 mph on the Ehra-Lessien test track.

259.5 you mean

[roadwalker]

Ah but you can go as fast as you want to, or dare to, around the Nurburgring.

Yeah, and how many people who spend all their money buying one of those hot cars in the U.S. have it shipped to Germany just so they can go there and drive it?


Well, then again, I once met someone who drove to a town that was 40 miles each way to buy gas because it was a nickel a gallon cheaper. I tried to explain to him that if he had no other reason to go there he was losing money but he was a real moron.