Eyes in the Storm : Commentary

[Alcoth]

Commentary thread for : Eyes in the Storm (Click for the story thread :)

Hi friends. This is a commentary/suggestion/prediction/criticism (constructive please) thread for a post by post short story I'm writing entitled Eyes in the Storm. I hope you enjoy reading and commenting on it as much as I know I will enjoy developing it.

I'm not sure there will be any, but I'll answer questions about the creative process (as it pertains to me and my opinions of course) or anything else and welcome any input regarding such.

Thanks for reading!

[princesa]

i look forward to reading it alc and will comment as well

[Speed Donkey]

Ooooo Thank ya Alcy! I dont know if I'll get chance to read it tonight But hopefully tomorrow... I hope. God bless you!

[princesa]

it's wonderfully vivid, very descriptive and colorful detail, I immediately began picturing her and the elements around her. I feel her relentlessness to carry on and I look forward to the bits of insight as to what emotions she is carrying. i thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Alcoth]

Thank you guys, I appreciate it.

princesa, I'm happy that I was able to convey the imagery. I tried to include a few insights for you, though her ultimate objective won't be revealed quite yet...

[justgin]

Wow, Alcy! I feel like i ought to say something equally as creative as what i just read but i'd only come across as pretentious, being that i'm pretty plain-spoken (see my lame story for example). First of all, your story made me feel like i was there, i even started feeling cold - thanks :( You have a gift of words and a gift of story-telling. I can't wait until this girl gets inside where there's a fireplace!

Gin

[princesa]

great second part, i can't wait to find out where the heck she's going and who she is wanting to see...what is in those mountains...hmmmm...a cave perhaps? her home, someone waiting for her...worried perhaps...we shall see! You are building great suspense. also, very good "disturbing" elbow bones floating visual, i actually did grabbed my elbow when i read that and it is still creeping me out to be honest. (my compliments) ps-i like Aria, i am picturing her kind of like the woman in my own avatar

[justgin]

Oh, Alcyyyyy, still waiting to hear more of your story!