October 2011 Screwballs

[jpholding]

Ready for the turn of Screwball Season in your area!

[ukchristian28]

Well, it's October where I am, so I'll start off the month with these really stupid comments I found on the Landover Baptist forum. In case anyone is not aware, Landover Baptist is an atheist parody of a fundamentalist Baptist church. The people who run it however don't seem to realize that they are fundies of a different kind. Honestly, I know these people think they are being really clever, but in the eyes any slightly knowledgable Christian the joke is definately on them. Their ridicule is based totally on abject ignorance and stupidity. I laugh at their absurd comments but not for the reasons they want people to laugh.

One of them posted J.P's article on the "bats are birds" issue. They quoted the entire article so I guess we can thank them for doing that at least. Anyone honest and open minded could benefit for its presence.

Here are the stupid comments:

Trent Harvey, Jr. Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged True Christian:

"Your buddy sure does a good job of telling people that the Bible doesn't say what the Bible obviously says.

Coming up next: Mr. Holding tells us what the definition the "is" is, and how "is" doesn't actually mean "is".

Makes you wonder just what Mr. Holding is holding."

Trent again:

1. Bats aren't birds
2. Because scientists classify bats as mammals, for the sole purpose of disagreeing with the Bible.

To which I add:

3. Yes, I agree that there is a scientific conspiracy to disagree with the Bible, and the invention of categories such as "mammal" and "bird" is a major part of it, however
4. BATS ARE STILL BIRDS! Therefore;

5 is some disgusting reference to child sex abuse in the Roman Catholic Church which would probably get me moderated if I quoted it.

Pastor Billy-Reuben:

Exactly. That's exactly what scientists did. The Bible says that bats are birds, so the scientists come along and just change the definition of "bird" to exclude bats, just so they can claim the Bible is in error.

I'm not falling for it. God says that bats are birds, I believe it, and that settles it.

I suppose next you will try to claim that rabbits don't chew cud, grasshoppers don't have four feet, serpents don't eat dust, or that satyrs, dragons, cockatrices, and unicorns never existed.

Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Scientific Advisor True Christian:

Exactly, Brother! Just because you *call* something a name doesn't mean it *is* that. If I call a raven a swan, it doesn't mean that it is a swan! Catholics call themselves Christians, but that doesn't mean they're heading to Heaven. It's all a part of Satan's redefinition plan. The liberals play right into this.

Unfalsifiable:

Thomas Martin, why can't you just accept what the Bible says? Look at them, they fly about, they're birds. Did you even need to look? Just read the Bible.

TC Patriot AMERICA - OR LEAVE IT!!! True Christian:

Bats are so birds. They fly. God says they are birds. What other proof do you need.

Science is a tool of Satan!

Science Science Science

Read the Bible

[Hamster]

Landover Baptist, running the same joke into the ground since 1996

[Chaotic Void]

Subbin', man...

[rogue06]

Reiterating that I'll delete all posts about MLP.

Yes I'm an old meanie.

[Rational Gaze]

Yes, everybody knows that Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is infinitely better. It has time travel, robots and Summer Glau punching through a brick wall.

[One Bad Pig]

Screwball to rogue06 for being an old meanie.

[Chrawnus]

Reiterating that I'll delete all posts about MLP.

Yes I'm an old meanie.

Hypocrite...

[Soyeong]

Reiterating that I'll delete all posts about MLP.

Yes I'm an old meanie.

Hyperliteralist...

[Chrawnus]

Hyperliteralist...

Atleast I don't fail at quoting.

[Soyeong]

Atleast I don't fail at quoting.

Red Herring.

[rogue06]

[Chrawnus]

Red Herring.

I eat red herrings for breakfast.

[Chrawnus]

• Edited by a Moderator •

Not even the horny doofus would do that. Heck, not even a post by Tassman could accomplish it.

[BeyondTW]

Yes, everybody knows that Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is infinitely better. It has time travel, robots and Summer Glau punching through a brick wall.

Screwball to Rational Gaze because that show sucked.